Chapter 22

Taylor

“That was... wow.” I collapsed back onto the furs as I attempted to catch my breath.

Brexl got up from the floor with a grunt. Then I heard what sounded like him changing his clothes, but that couldn’t be right. He’d just changed a few minutes ago.

I looked up just as he started to walk my way, wearing a sheepish smile on his face.

“I am glad I was able to bring you pleasure.”

“Oh, you did,” I laughed and Brexl sat next to me on the furs.

It was then that I noticed his shorts were a different color than the ones he had on earlier. Had he come again while bringing me pleasure? Oh, what a sweetheart. I certainly wouldn’t mind helping him gain some stamina the more we practiced our cuddling and kissing. Maybe he’d want to practice more of what we just did, too.

“I’m going to go clean up,” I said as I grabbed my underwear and headed for the nearby cave where everyone did their business. There were multiple holes in the floor that led deep into the mountain. It wasn’t the best bathroom set up, but it wasn’t the worst either.

I relieved myself, cleaned up, and headed back to our cave. Once there, I slipped into bed next to Brexl.

We automatically went to our separate sides of the bed, which suddenly felt silly to me. We were more than used to each other by now, and I always ended up sleeping on his chest, anyway.

“Would you be interested in starting out the night cuddling instead of just ending up that way?” I asked as I propped myself up on my elbow.

The room was silent for a long moment before Brexl answered, “If that is what you wish.”

If that was what I wished? What kind of answer was that? Did he not want me to cuddle with him?

“Would you prefer that I not cuddle with you? Should I stay away if you’re having a nightmare?”

“No!” He blurted out. “I want you close to me. I like waking up to find you on my chest, but you do not have to touch me if you do not wish to.”

“What if I want to?”

Had it not occurred to him that I would want to cuddle with him? I loved being in his arms and I loved that somehow having the pressure of my body on his chest prevented him from having nightmares. I was like his weighted blanket, and it was nice.

I could hear him swallow hard before he answered. “Then I would like that, too.”

Taylor

The next morning I woke feeling relaxed and refreshed. I wasn’t ready to move yet, though. Maybe if I stayed very still, Brexl might think I was still asleep, and I’d get to lie here a bit longer.

Bump-da-bump-da-bump. His heartbeat was a soothing sound in my ear. He seemed relaxed, too. He hadn’t mumbled in his sleep at all last night, which meant the nightmares that usually haunted him had stayed away.

I liked this. I liked Brexl. What I didn’t like was the idea of us parting ways. I told him I would think of a cover story that would make sense for us to separate, but I was tempted to think of excuses to stay instead.

Maybe it would make more sense for this pretend mating to become permanent. If Brexl didn’t want a mate, maybe he wouldn’t mind be friends with benefits instead.

Why doesn’t he want a mate? I’d never thought to ask him before. I’d been so consumed with the fear of repeating my past mistakes that I hadn’t even considered what his reasons might be.

I’d have to ask him some time, but not right now. It was too early for such heavy conversations.

I opened one eye and found Brexl lying down with his eyes closed, but smiling. He was awake. He probably knew I was pretending to be asleep this whole time.

“Good morning.” I said as I sat up and stretched.

“Good morning,” He sat up as well and wiped the sleep from his eyes.

“Should we get up and get some breakfast?” I asked. “I have a feeling Gabby is going to be putting us to work today.”

“That sounds good to me. I am ready to eat and to work.”

We got dressed and Brexl offered to brush my hair and I’d offered to braid his. It was a sweet moment between us, almost like a vision of what we could have if only we’d reach out and grab it.

He was slow and gentle with the brush, going over my hair again and again until it was perfectly shiny, and I loved running my fingers through his thick hair as I gave him one long braid down his back.

Once we were finished, he held out his hand for me and we walked together to the cook fire.

Everyone was so excited about setting up for Valentine’s day that breakfast was a bit rushed. Before I knew it I was outside helping set up the miniature golf course.

“This is going to be so much fun!” Sarah cheered as she put down another woven mat that made up our course.

Drovo helped us by making wooden putter golf clubs, and I was digging holes and planting small flag poles in the ground to mark where to aim the balls.

“Mmhmm,” Ashley mumbled as she set down another woven mat. She was usually the outgoing, bubbly one of the group, but lately she’d been so quiet and reclusive.

“Will you help me do something fun with my hair tonight?” Talia asked, and Ashely’s old smile returned.

“I’d love to!”

But just as she was starting to act like her old happy self, Axon, Jax, and Lumod walked by carrying decorations for Hai. Axon caught Ashley’s gaze and her smile immediately faded.

“How does after lunch sound, Talia?” She returned her focus to the conversation in front of her.

“Sounds good to me!”

We continued on working through the morning and I caught Brexl walking through the clearing more than once with a satchel stuffed to the brim with something he was working very hard to keep me from seeing.

Every time he walked past, I could feel his gaze on me. Devouring every inch of me as if we were in our room and not among the entire dekes outside in the clearing.

On his third trek back into the mountain, I caught his gaze and wanted nothing more than to follow him inside.

“I’m running low on mats,” Sarah interrupted my thoughts as she looked at her dwindling pile.

“I’ll get some,” I volunteered, hoping I didn’t look too obvious about my real intentions.

It was silly, but I wanted to see Brexl. I knew we’d be together for the rest of the day, but I wanted him now. I wanted his warmth, his shy smiles, and his lips on mine.

Maybe our kissing session had been a mistake. I should not want him this much, but I did.

I made my way to the storage room where the mats were being kept, and as luck would have it, Brexl was walking by the storage room too.

He lit up, and an easy smile drew across his face as soon as he saw me.

“Hello, how are things going for you?” My voice cracked as if I were a nervous schoolgirl.

“Things are going well. Can I help you carry those?” He pointed to the stack of mats in my arms.

“Sure!” I said, a little too excitedly. “I actually need a few more.” I bent down to add to my pile and accidentally dropped them all.

Brexl got on his knees to help me, putting us at eye level with each other, and barely an inch apart.

“Oops,” I said as I stared into his deep brown eyes.

“Oops,” Brexl repeated.

“What are you apologizing for?” I breathed.

“This,” was the last thing he said before his lips met mine.

His big blue hands cupped my face, and he started kissing me like a man on fire, and my kiss was the only thing that could quench the flames.

“You sure do like to practice,” I said with a fake laugh.

“I am not practicing.” Brexl pulled back and looked down at me with an expression of hunger and sincerity.

“You’re not?” I couldn’t help but ask.

“No,” he said as he started to kiss me down my neck.

“I am showing you,” kiss “how much I like you,” kiss “just the way you are.”

I could feel my heart melting in my chest. He was referring to an earlier conversation. I had told him I hadn’t figured out how to be in a relationship and be myself. But I didn’t feel that way with Brexl, not anymore. I’d already slipped up once, and he showed me that he just wanted me for me.

“Brexl,” I bit back a moan as he started to kiss me lower. “I like you too. Just the way you are.”

That made him stop what he was doing and pull away from me.

“I…” he furrowed his brow and looked away. “You should not.”

Brexl got up and helped me to my feet. “I’ll let you get back to work.”

As he walked away, I found myself wondering what the hell just happened.