Chapter 19

Brexl

After Taylor left the room, I sat there and blankly stared at the wall. She wanted to change herself for me. What a strange concept. How did she not know how perfect she was? Her personality, her likes, her dislikes, everything about her was already perfect.

I would fix this. I would present Taylor with a grand gift of Valentine so she will know exactly how perfect she is.

I ran along the normal hunting trails and memorized each spot where there were patches of the yellow flowers that Taylor liked. I would fill our cave with them in the morning and she would walk into our cave to the sight of me holding out some blooms for her. I might not have the right words to tell her how special she is to me, but maybe she’ll understand through my actions.

As I continued to run along the trail, I spotted Axon looking about as miserable as a male could look, which wasn’t like him at all. He, Orsu, and Lumod were cheerful people who always seemed to be in a good mood.

“Hello,” I approached Axon, who was sitting on a fallen log.

“Hey,” he gave me a half-hearted wave.

I wasn’t one to directly ask if something was troubling someone. So instead of speaking, I sat down next to my friend and waited.

I did not have to wait long, it seemed.

“Ashely won’t speak to me,” he admitted shortly after I sat down.

“What happened?”

I had heard rumors about what occurred when they were planting bulbs for the spring, but perhaps Axon retelling the story would shed some new light on the events that took place.

“She fell when we were planting bulbs. Her soft body pressed against mine so rapidly and so unexpectedly that I wasn’t prepared for it. It was too much and I panicked and shifted.” He buried his head in his hands.

“I should have tried to catch her, or at least check to see if she was alright, but no, I shifted, which caused everyone else to panic and stare at us. Then her cheeks turned red, and she clenched her jaw in the way that she does when she’s frustrated. She was embarrassed, and it was my fault.”

I patted his shoulder, hoping the gesture would bring some comfort.

“Every time she touches me, my body goes crazy. It’s like a sensory overload, which doesn’t make any sense, because I like the way she feels!”

Axon grunted his displeasure. His sensory issues were well known among the dekes. He often left the group to lie in the dark cave on the soft moss floor until his head stopped hurting.

“Perhaps a gift of Valentine will help,” I suggested.

“Yeah, that’s what I’m hoping too. I’m just trying to figure out what to get her.”

“What are you getting your mate?”

My mate. My Taylor. Those words sounded so good to my ears. If only she wanted to be with me.

“I plan to fill our cave with her favorite flower.” I pulled a yellow flower out of my satchel to show Axon.

“That’s a good idea,” he nodded approvingly.

“If you want more, I saw a bunch north of the stream near the kala.”

“Thank you, friend.” I bowed in appreciation. “I hope you find what you are looking for.”

I confirmed what Axon had said about the flowers and offered up a prayer to the goddess that he would finally get some luck with Ashley.

Lunch went by both too slowly and too fast. Every touch of Taylor’s hand on my knee or brush of her shoulder against mine as we ate reminded me that we had agreed to cuddle later.

She slept on my chest last night, which I greatly appreciated as her presence kept my nightmares away, but would our cuddling go beyond that? Would there be touching involved? How much touching? I would explore every inch of her if she permitted me to do so.

“Alright, I’ll see you at dinner,” Taylor waved goodbye to Fatima and Beatrice, as we walked hand-in-hand to our cave.

I didn’t think I’d ever get used to this, Taylor grabbing my hand and smiling at me as if I were a harmless hunter and not a cursed male with a beast lurking under my skin.

We entered the cave and my heart rate increased even more than before.

“Um,” Taylor turned to me and bit her bottom lip, and just like before when she was cleaning my wound on the beach, seeing her nervous gesture somehow made me want to be brave for the both of us.

“Should we get started?” I broke the awkward silence first.

“Umm yeah, I’ll grab my supplies while you grab yours, and we’ll cuddle together on the bed where it’s most comfortable.”

She seemed more confident again, which made one of us. I watched as Taylor bent over and grabbed her basket, and all the logical thoughts left my head.

Supplies. Supplies. What supplies? My brain was not working at the moment. Bone carving! That was it. I don’t think I can concentrate on the small movements bone carving requires while Taylor sat on my lap, though.

I looked over and saw Taylor grabbing her knitting supplies, and decided I would do the same. The winter months were coming, and I needed a new sweater to replace my old one.

Neelu and Drondia would spend the summer weaving plant fibers together for us to use to make clothes in the winter. The hu-mans called the woven fibers yarn.

Jax’s sire was the most talented knitter among us. He would spend long days in the clearing knitting sweaters of all sizes for our dekes. Yesterday I saw him secretly knitting a tiny sweater which I assumed he planned to gift to Tarak and Gabby’s sietling when the little one arrives.

It will be both a welcome and strange experience having a sietling among us. With three mated couples and potentially more to come, we might soon be surrounded by children in our mountain home.

“You’re not doing your bone carving?” Taylor asked as I approached with my basket of knitting supplies.

I shook my head. “It will be easier to knit while we cuddle.” My voice caught on the last word, causing Taylor to smile at me.

“Sounds good to me. Why don’t you sit down first, and I’ll settle in on your lap.”

Taylor waited patiently as I sat down on the furs and leaned my back against the wall.

“Are you ready for me to join you?” she bit her bottom lip again, looking nervous.

“I’m ready.” I motioned for her to come sit.

She set her basket next to mine, and I held my breath as she sat down, settling herself onto my lap. She was so soft and warm, like a perfect blanket on a cold winter day, one that soothed my very soul.

“In through the tunnel,

Around the mountain,

Out through the tunnel,

Jump off the mountain.”

Taylor repeated the rhyme that Drondia and Neelu had taught the hu-mans when they showed them how to knit. It was the same rhyme I was taught as a sietling when I first learned it.

Having her weight pressed against me was pleasant, comfortable even. I hadn’t expected that. Every time we’d cuddled before, it had been an accident brought on by our circumstances. This was different. This was intentional. I thought it would feel strange or wrong somehow, but it didn’t. It felt right.

How did Taylor feel about it? She had made it clear that we were friends, and that she thought I was worth caring for, but it was one thing to cuddle with a friend to keep up a lie, and another to cuddle with someone simply because you wanted to.

Maybe there would come a day when she’d want to cuddle with me for the joy of it and not to practice.

I kept my thoughts to myself and enjoyed her sweet scent as it made its way to my nose. Soon my entire cave would smell like her, and once our fake mating was over, I’d never want to leave.

“How’s your project coming along?” Taylor asked as she craned her neck to look back at me.

I held up my half-knitted sweater. “It’s coming along. How about you?”

Taylor held up her sweater, which seemed a little lopsided. “Same. I don’t think I’ll win any fashion contests with this though,” she laughed to herself.

“Yours is looking really good.” She ran her fingers along the woven fibers that I’d knitted together and I couldn’t help but imagine what it would feel like to have her fingers running along my body, my neck, my chest, my abdomen, and lower.

I could feel my cock stiffen and I felt helpless in stopping it.

Taylor shifted her weight and froze. “Am I, uh, hurting you?”

“No,” I grunted.

“I can get up if you want.” She made to do just that, but I wrapped my arms around her to keep her where she was.

“Don’t go,” I pleaded.

Taylor relaxed and settled back against me, but instead of her back being to my chest, she settled on her side so she could look up at me with her deep brown eyes.

“I’ll stay as long as you want.” Her eyes were searching mine, but for what I didn’t know.

I wanted to tell her I’d always want her to stay, that there’d never come a day when I’d tire of her presence. But that would be cruel. She didn’t want me as her mate, and I wouldn’t make it difficult for her to leave when the time came.

“Thank you.” I smiled down at her and squeezed her against me before letting my arms relax again.

We continued with our knitting until dinner, where all I could think about was how our cuddling practice was about to escalate to something much more...Kissing.