Chapter 18
Taylor
“Hey girl, come on up,” Fatima waved me over as I peeked my head around the corner to see who was on the ridge this morning.
The fall air was chilly, but still pleasant. Soon enough, we’d be stuck inside for a long winter, so a little chill in the air wasn’t that bad. It also served to help cool my arousal after falling naked into Brexl’s arms. God, he was sexy. I thought bathing together might help him get more used to being with me, which would, in turn, make us look more comfortable together. What I didn’t account for was how much I’d like it too.
“We were just talking about the gifts we’re making for Valentine’s Day,” Hai supplied.
I joined the women on the ridge and sat next to Fatima. Kayla, Gabby, Sarah, Talia, Julie, and Hai were here too.
“I’m going to give Tarak a trophy. He’s so humble about his accomplishments, especially as the Savrix. I want him to know I see all he does and that he’s appreciated,” Gabby commented as she formed, said trophy out of the clay in her hands.
“I’m going to surprise Orsu with a picnic lunch after we’ve foraged for his favorite sweet chili. It’s his favorite spice, but because it’s located farther away from the mountain, he never makes time to go forage for it.”
“What are you going to do, Kayla?” I asked, curious to see what the final mated woman had in mind.
“Oh, you know, something sweet to show Drovo how much I love him,” she said with a coy smile on her face.
“Oh yeah? What’s that?” I prodded further.
“A blow job.”
Peels of laughter rung out from nearly everyone on the ridge. Everyone but, Sarah who just looked confused. Talia leaned down and whispered into her friend’s ear and Sarah turned pale.
“You can do that? You can put your mouth there?” Sarah looked shocked.
“I guess so. I’ve never done it.” Talia shrugged her shoulders.
Their answers got me thinking about what I wanted to give Brexl. Should I make him a bone carving? Would he like that? He obviously really liked his hobby, judging from all the carvings he had around his room.
“What about you two? How’s mated life?” Kayla asked, giving me a dubious look. She’d seen Brexl and I pretend to be mates before, which probably looks similar to how we act now.
“It’s going really well.” I picked a piece of non-existent lint off my pants. “Brexl’s really great. He’s stubborn, but in a good way.”
I liked that he wasn’t a pushover. Brexl was the perfect mix of shy, stubborn, and sexy and, Oh god, I had a crush on him, didn’t I? I couldn’t deny it anymore. I had a crush on Brexl. I’d been trying not to let my heart get involved in this, but now it was clear to me that I had failed.
“That sounds nice,” Gabby interrupted my thoughts.
“What do you think you’ll get him for Valentine’s Day?” Hai asked.
“I’m still thinking about it,” I admitted. I would try the bone carving thing and if it was a complete disaster, I’d think of something else.
After some more chit-chat, we wrapped up the conversation and dispersed. I headed for Brexl and I’s temporarily shared cave, and when I found he wasn’t there, I picked up his carving tools and an unused bone.
I should start with something simple, like a rectangle, I decided.
I tried to drag the knife along the bone, but nothing shaved off. I saw Brexl had other tools, such as a palm-sized rock and some blunt items that looked like screw drivers.
Maybe I need to use the rock like a hammer against the knife. I went to gently tap the rock against the butt of the knife, but whacked my finger instead.
“Ow!” I yelped and dropped everything. The knife grazed my leg and cut me. It wasn’t any deeper than a paper cut, but it still hurt and it was bleeding.
“Taylor?” I could hear Brexl’s panicked voice from outside the cave.
He pulled back the curtain and saw me cradling my hand and then his gaze lowered to my bleeding leg.
“What happened?!”
He was at my side immediately, checking me over for any other injuries. He grabbed a clean cloth and applied it to my cut. Then he held out his hand for me to place my bruised one in his.
His touch was comforting. The warmth of his hand on mine made me feel all fuzzy inside.
Then his focus drifted to his tools on the floor. “Were you attempting to carve this bone?”
“Yeah,” I admitted.
“Why? Do you want to learn how to do it?”
Did I? Not really. So why was I doing this?
Then it dawned on me exactly why I thought this was a good idea and I wanted to kick myself for it.
I ran an embarrassed hand down my face as I confessed, “I thought you might like it if I learned how. I thought I could carve you something for Valentine’s Day.”
I couldn’t believe I was doing this again. I was trying to mold myself into the person I thought Brexl would want me to be, and we weren’t even really mated.
“Do you want to learn?” He repeated his question.
I didn’t.
“No,” I sighed.
“Then I do not wish for you to learn, either.” He sat down in front of me, but did not release my hand from his. Instead, he rubbed his thumb along the top of my hand in a comforting gesture.
“So me making you a bone carving wouldn’t be a good gift?” I had to ask. I needed this moment to sink into my soul so I wouldn’t do this again.
“No. Bone carving is a thing that brings me joy. I like the activity more than the object that results.”
That made sense.
“And if I learned how to do this hobby, it wouldn’t make you like me any more than you do now?”
The only way to break this bad habit was for me to hear from Brexl himself that this wasn’t what he wanted.
“No. You are perfect just the way you are.” His hand reached up and caressed my ear as he pushed back my hair. “Please don’t change.”
Our eyes met, and I knew from the look on his face that he really meant what he said. He did not want me to change, and I didn’t want to change either.
“I won’t,” I whispered sheepishly.
“Good,” he smiled.
“Do you not feel perfect the way you are?”
“I do and I don’t. I like who I am, but I didn’t have an easy childhood. I learned how to be someone else’s version of perfect to keep the peace, and it’s a habit that has stuck with me ever since,” I explained.
Brexl furrowed his brow and said, “whoever made you feel that way was a fool. You are perfect to me.”
“Th-thank you.” Brexl’s words had hit a weak spot in my heart, and I was suddenly feeling very vulnerable and embarrassed. I needed some time alone to collect my thoughts. A walk around the clearing might clear my head.
“I guess I better go find you a better gift then, huh?” I stood up and Brexl released my hand.
He nodded, and I grabbed a gathering basket and headed out the door.