27. I Do, Too

I Do, Too

M ara

I had our bag packed for later, with jeans and flannel, thick socks and hoodies, and Zale had put it in the car with our boots and Olivia’s two bags of happiness. It was definitely a two-bag day, being Rebecca’s wedding day, it would be a long one. Nintendo DS, iPad, and iPod were all charged to full battery status. Crunchy snacks and suckers were packed, and Rebecca called earlier to let me know she prepared a large Tupperware full of macaroni and cheese. Sweet. Olivia was calm and mostly looking forward to it.

Olivia liked her dress; we’d taken great care to find something comfortable. She already had it on with her charm bracelet jingling on her wrist. She’d be happy to add a new charm today. She sat on my bed, watching me while I got ready.

I’d done my hair, piling it high on my head with long twists of chestnut and silver curling against my neck and over my chest. I applied my makeup and tucked it into a bag to bring for touch ups. My dress lay across the bed and the time of reckoning had arrived. Suddenly it didn’t look as good as I remembered.

I stepped into it and pulled the zipper up the side, settling it over my hips. I stepped into my high heels and turned to the mirror on the back of the door. Midnight black, velvety suede clung and draped in equal measure in all the right places. A sweetheart neckline dipped between my breasts and lay low across my chest. The cups covered only a little over half of my breasts, the swell above the neckline would have been indecent if not for the sheer material stretching from the heart shaped neckline to my shoulders and ending in tight half sleeves to the elbow. Fitted close to my body, a twist of material at the waist, it then fell in a straight skirt softly to the floor. A long slit up to mid-thigh ensured ease of movement, even if it meant my leg peeked half out of my dress every time I moved.

It was as beautiful as I remembered. I breathed a sigh of relief.

I walked out to show Zale.

He heard me clicking across the hall and turned to look over his shoulder with a half-smile on his face to greet me. He looked beautiful in his charcoal suit, dove grey shirt and striped tie, all that the perfect foil for his black hair with its touches of silver, his olive skin, and his dark eyes. Closely shaven, he looked like he’d just stepped away from a magazine shoot. He turned fully toward me, and the smile dropped from his face. He froze and I stuttered to a stop.

“Zee?” I asked tentatively.

“Mara,” he growled, his eyes skittering to Olivia coming up behind me.

“Mommy looks pretty, Daddy.”

“Too pretty.” His eyes moved slowly over my body, then my hair, finally finishing on my face. “Too pretty,” he murmured and stepped close to me, his hand on my nape, looking intently into my upturned face, “too fucking pretty,” he barely whispered, not wanting Olivia to hear, pressing his lips to mine.

My womb clenched and I dropped my head back, smiling at him, wanting him. He groaned and rested his forehead on mine, his body coiled tight, his other hand moving to the small of my back, holding me closer. He puffed out a breath and a rueful laugh. “You’re lucky we have Olivia, or you’d never make it to your friend’s wedding.”

I smiled. “If you’re a good boy I’ll let you take it off me later.”

“Oh, I’ll be good, no doubt about that.”

I got the eye crinkle then he turned from me to ask Olivia for a twirl, which she delivered to his low whistle. Olivia smiled, her cheeks pinkening, and we left, right on time .

I don’t know why I expected Bex to be in a tizzy. Projecting, I guess. As calm and laid back as always, she looked stunning, her dress a mix of cream and smoke, lace, satin, and chiffon. Her subtle makeup highlighted those tilted watercolor eyes and her perfect mouth. Her high heels were a muted silver but there was nothing muted about the sparkle in her eyes and the joy in her smile.

I covered my cheeks with my hands, trying to hold back my tears and she scolded me, “Don’t you dare! You look like a pin up girl, a walking wet dream, don’t you dare cry and ruin your makeup.”

Her word choice shocked me into laughter. “Re-bec-ca!”

Zale smirked at me, his dark eyes twinkling in agreement, and leaned down to kiss her cheek.

“You look beautiful, Bex. He’s a lucky man.”

“I know.” She winked at me, and Zale chuckled.

She held her hand out to me. “I’ve got to help Amelie get into her dress. Want to come with Olivia?”

I nodded, and Bex turned to Olivia. “Okay, beautiful girl, come with Auntie Bex. I’ve got something for you and Amelie, and I need to help Amelie with her dress.”

The house was busy but calm, everyone happy and relaxed. Once Willa showed, the entire cast, crew, and audience would be there, including the pastor and the photographer .

Bex had already warned her in-laws to go soft with Olivia, not to push her for conversation, and she had also asked the photographer to refrain from using flash photography close to Olivia. Whatever Bex could do to make it easier for Olivia, she did. I had never felt so lucky to have her in my life as I did in that moment.

We emerged from the bedroom to find that Willa had just arrived, Barrett close on her heels.

He guided her inside, his hand on the small of her back, his eyes on her profile. He looked magnificent, all that wild hair pulled back at his nape, his beard somewhat tamed, in a dark grey suit, crisp white shirt and charcoal tie. We were all in shades of grey and black as per Rebecca’s request. She had planned for the photographer to do all kinds of shots, including family and couple shots. Willa wore a swing dress in soft black, tea length, a tight wide band at her midriff, the bodice rising from that band creating a deep vee between her breasts that didn’t close until it hit that band, tight half sleeves hugged her to the elbow. Simple and elegant, it provided the perfect foil for her height, her curves, and her lightning eyes. Her long shapely legs tipped with glossy black stilettos were the exclamation point for her perfection.

The girls loved their charms and added them immediately to their bracelets. Before I knew it, Calum shuffled us out to the temporary wood floor in the heated tent. Flowers lay over an archway and decorated the elegantly dressed u-shaped table where we would all sit together to eat. We gathered in front of Rhys and Bex, who were standing facing each other, their sides to us, the pastor speaking words of truth, faithfulness, and love over them. When it came time for the “I dos” the twins stepped even closer, standing enthralled, staring up at their dad first, and then their new mom.

“Do you, Rebecca, take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband, to have and to hold, until death do you part?”

She smiled straight into Rhys’ eyes, not a tear or hesitation in sight. “I do.”

She turned to Cole, and he placed his father’s ring into her open hand. She smiled at him and then pushed the band onto Rhys’ ring finger and rejoined their hands.

“Do you, Rhys, take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife, to have and to hold, until death do you part?”

Rhys’ husky voice contained more gravel than usual, he cleared his throat, and swiped a thumb under his eye. “I do.”

He turned to Amelie, who placed her mother’s ring into his open palm. He smiled at her, and then pushed the band onto Rebecca’s ring finger and rejoined their hands.

Cole took Amelie’s hand in his, leaned toward the pastor, reached to put his little hand on top of Rhys and Rebecca’s clasped hands and Amelie followed suit, and they piped up, “I do, too.”

I heard Jeanie’s breath hitch beside me, and I reached my hand out to her. Zale put his arm around me, murmuring my name as he thumbed away my tears .

The pastor didn’t miss a beat. “I now pronounce you husband and wife. You may kiss your groom.”

Rebecca, sassy pants, had that last bit altered.

Rhys laughed and grabbed her. “I’m all yours.” He dipped his head to give her access to his mouth, and she kissed him, both of them laughing, their lips pressed tight.

The pastor then turned to us, held out her arms, and announced, “May I present to you Mr. and Mrs. Rhys and Rebecca Griffin, and family.”

She stepped away from behind the little group and they turned as one. Rhys and Rebecca’s hands clasped, Rhys with his other hand wrapped around the back of Cole’s neck, Cole’s hand still holding Amelie’s, Rebecca’s arm draped over the front of Amelie’s little chest, her other little hand clasped around Rebecca’s, just as the photographer stepped forward and snapped the shot, their first family picture, taken just seconds after becoming official. That picture would go on to live on their mantle for all their years together.

Calum and Barrett were the first ones to change out of their suits after dinner and pictures. They immediately took the kids to see all the animals. It surprised me that Olivia took to Calum, his being big, gruff, and loud, but she did. Maybe it was because of his expressive, outspoken nature. She didn’t have to work hard to figure him out. In any case, he didn’t demand conversation from her, just chatted to her and Cole and Amelie. Barrett, just as I suspected, calmed her with his steady presence, and I found her gravitating toward him, especially after she learned he was one of the veterinarians at the shelter. They had a full out conversation about the animals and her work there.

I thought the photographer would leave early, but Bex hired him to stay the entire night to take pictures of all the festivities. He took dozens of candid shots of everyone in the tent and when the children headed outside with Calum and Barrett, he followed along. Leaving Olivia out there with a stranger triggered my anxiety, but Barrett assured me he wouldn’t leave her unattended, and strangely, I trusted him. I couldn’t wait to see the pictures.

The caterers cleared away the debris from dinner, leaving the fridge stocked with desserts, salads, and sandwiches for later. They left, and Jeanie happily took over, set to handle the rest of the food later on in the evening, including serving up the macaroni and cheese to Olivia and the twins when she noticed they were getting hungry.

It was such a novel experience to have so many adults around, all looking after the children, and each other. I’d never experienced anything like it. I caught Willa’s gaze and moved toward her.

“It’s like an alternate universe,” she muttered.

“It is. Shouldn’t Jeanie be complaining that the coffee’s not ready? Telling everybody that Bex chose grey and cream against her better judgement? Rounding up Barrett and Rhys to change the table and chairs around in the tent to better suit her vision? ”

“It’s weird.”

I laughed. “No, Willa, we’re the weird ones.”

It was the only sad moment in the entire day, but it lasted only a moment. It was impossible to brood, surrounded as we were by so much love, acceptance, and joy.

The rest of us changed into jeans and flannel, the other half of the theme Bex had requested for the evening.

The pictures were fantastic and told the tale of the rest of the night.

Calum with his head thrown back laughing, Barrett with his face tipped way down, grinning at Olivia who cradled a bunny in her arms, her little face earnest, having just said something to elicit that response. I hoped it wasn’t about bunny sex, but I was pretty sure, at some point, bunny sex had come up. Olivia did not mince words, and she did not filter.

Cole, his face lit up from underneath, looking into his lantern.

A shot of all of us, the fire pit blazing behind us, releasing our lanterns to the sky. We looked like pagans dancing around the fire, making our offering to the night.

Candid family shots of Zale, Olivia, and me. My ass looked huge, but Zale’s hand wrapped firmly around my hip showed me he didn’t mind that.

Several shots of Cole and Amelie with the animals, with their grandparents, uncle, parents, and a great shot of their whole family together, arms slung over shoulders, hands held, bodies swaying into one another, grinning at the camera.

A beautiful, tender shot of Calum and Jeanie, smiling at one another over the children’s heads, somehow appearing to be touching while being entirely out of reach. Goals for sure.

A candid shot of Willa on her haunches talking to Olivia who was cuddling a guinea pig, Barrett standing in the background, hands in his pockets, his gaze resting on them, soft and slightly out of focus. I wondered if he’d be good for Willa, if she would be good for him, if she would allow him to be more than a friend.

Barrett chatting with Rhys, a twin dangling joyfully from each of Barrett’s bent arms.

A sweet profile shot of Amelie up in Rhys’ arms, her little hand on his cheek, smiling into each other's eyes.

A close-up of Willa, Bex and I, our heads together, laughing, still dressed in all our finery. Another shot of us full length, under the arch in the tent, holding hands and smiling. I looked good in that picture, even standing next to Willa and Bex.

Olivia and I bumping our marshmallows together in the flames, her mouth wide open laughing, my eyes soft on her face.

Zale and Olivia from the back, walking, in silhouette, faces tipped toward one another, talking.

My favorite, and one I carried around with me until it fell apart, one that Bex made multiple copies of for me, caught Zale and me standing by the fire before it got dark. Pink and lavender painted the sky on one side, and the fire lit the night behind us. Zale stood with his legs braced, one hand in his jeans pocket, the other arm low across my back, holding my front close to his side, his face turned toward me and tipped down, a half-smile on his face, his eyes crinkled, me beaming back at him, happiness radiating from me like beams of moonlight. I relived that happiness every time I slipped that photo out of my purse to look at it yet again.

The photographer won some kind of prestigious award for one of the photos from Bex’ wedding. He had it professionally framed for Rhys and Rebecca, thanking them for allowing him to use it.

Willa had framed a large canvas printed with a shot of Rhys and Rebecca that she’d taken herself. The canvas had been specially prepared to accept writing and all of us got a chance to sign it, the perfect guest ‘book’ for Bex’s day.

Olivia hung in with everybody until the twins started to fade, then she and the twins made blanket nests on the couches and watched a movie that did not boast Daniel Radcliffe in its cast, and she eventually nodded off.

I learned two things about my daughter that day, first, she was comfortable at Bex’ home with their family, and second, that when given enough space, and little demand, she could thrive.

We got home around eleven. Olivia went straight to bed, and so did we. I didn’t bother with pajamas, just stripped down to my panties, and slipped between the cool sheets .

Zale pulled me into his arms and held me tight, his hand cradling my head against his broad chest.

“You are everything to me.”

His words rolled around in my head and seeped through the cracks in my battered heart.

I nuzzled into his chest, my hand resting over his heart, the steady thump of his heart a welcome beat in my ear. I felt his lips in my hair, against my temple, his finger tilting my face up to his and the tender brush of his lips across mine.

His hand around my back slipped into the back of my panties, brushing back and forth across the sensitive skin, trailing up to my hip, the dip in my waist, before heading back down into my panties.

I held still as long as I could to prolong the sweetness, but soon found myself arching into his hand.

His kiss grew more demanding, and he tugged at my panties, wanting them off.

I obliged, happy to give him whatever he wanted, and he laid his long, beautiful body over mine. I opened my thighs to invite him in.

We pulled his boxers off, a difficult feat without separating our mouths, and then he breached my entrance, nudging through the wet, gaining entrance one inch at a time. I wrapped my legs around his thighs, holding him close where I always wanted him to be. His hard chest, a familiar comfort against my breasts, his hands in my hair, his hips pressed between my legs, the sensitive skin of my inner thighs abraded by the hair on his, his mouth, his tongue, his breath, his groan, him.

Lost in him; lost in him, lost in me.

My favorite place to be.

He stayed with me afterwards, bringing me down slowly, leaning up on his elbows, staring into my sleepy, sated eyes, dropping kisses onto my mouth, my cheeks, my closed eyes, rolling us to our sides and tucking me against his chest.

I nuzzled into his chest, feeling his hands on me, one squeezing my hip, the other tangling in my hair. I fell asleep under his sweet attention that left room for nothing else.