Finally （9）

"So, I don't even know what I'm supposed to do now. Do I ignore him, do I call the cops?" Amara was venting to Ryan about a customer at the bar who wouldn't leave her alone tonight. "Hello?" She waved her hand in front of Ryan's face, and he snapped back to it.

"Sorry. I zoned out. Listen, it happens again, you call me. Me and the boys will come down there and handle it. But don't walk home by yourself again. That was stupid."

"I know. I should've called you."

He was already dreading tomorrow's road trip to Lehigh Valley. It was three hours away, but since they had a home game the following night, they weren't staying over, so he'd be getting home super late. He hadn't been away from her since they met, and it was not something he wanted to do, especially not right now.

"Ok. What's the plan for tonight? It's been a while. Next episode of Stranger Things? Start a movie? What are you in the mood for?" She'd just showered, and the smell of her freshly washed wet hair permeated the air; it was driving him insane. She sat on the couch next to him in shorts that had no business being so short and one of his college hoodies. She was sans makeup, and her smooth, bare legs, like always, rested across his lap.

What he was in the mood for was her, and he knew that if he didn't do something about it soon, he'd be on the verge of another mental break.

He sighed. "I don't know. The bus leaves at 9:00 a.m. tomorrow, and it's already after 10. I probably shouldn't stay up too late. And I still have to pack. This sucks." He placed a slightly trembling hand on her thigh and decided that, despite all his reservations, now was as good a time as any to make his move. "We haven't played that game where we share some random thing about ourselves in a while."

"Oh, you're right. We've been slacking. You wanna go first? I gotta think of something good."

"Um…yeah, I'll go. I kinda have something in mind."

"No more pants-shitting stories though, OK? That night was just ridiculous. I don't think I've ever laughed so hard in my life."

"Got it." He took a deep breath. "OK. Nice to meet you, Amara." He pushed her legs off his lap, forcing her to sit up next to him. He moved in close to her. "So, I've kinda got a problem." He stopped.

"What's wrong?" she asked, concerned. "You OK?"

"Yeah, I'm good. It's just that," he spoke slowly, "I literally cannot stop thinking about you. From the minute I wake up until my head hits the pillow, you and hockey are the only things on my mind."

"Ryan?"

"And I don't know how to say this, because this hardly ever happens to me, but I think I really like you. I like how close we've gotten, and I can't stop thinking about us. And I don't know what that means or what I should even do about it. I feel like maybe you feel it, too." He palmed his forehead, frustrated. "Oh my God, I suck at this shit. All I know is that I don't wanna just be your friend, Amara. It's not enough for me anymore."

She backed away from him cautiously, sat up straight, and leaned forward onto her lap. She was silent for a while.

"Can you please say something?" he pleaded.

"This isn't how this game is supposed to go, Ryan."

"Wow, Ryan Baylor fucked something up. That never happens. Anyway, it's your turn. Tell me something. Anything. Tell me to fuck off if you want. I'm used to that. But for God's sake, say something."

She looked at him. "OK, fine. Nice to meet you, Ryan," she finally said, grabbing one of his hands; she could feel him shaking. "You're the most beautiful human being I've ever seen, and I constantly have to stop myself from telling you that. I know I've been distant lately. And if I'm being honest, I've been trying to keep away from you, as hard as it's been. You're just…Ryan, you're way too young for me. There's no workaround. And we both know that realistically, there is no possible scenario where this ever works out…"

"I don't know that," he interrupted. "You don't know that, either."

"Stop. We both know that."

"You don't know that, Amara."

"This isn't a fucking romance novel, Ryan. No matter what we do, the only possible way anything between me and you ends is in heartbreak, and I can't handle another one."

"I won't break your heart."

"Please, Ryan. You don't even know how to be in a relationship."

He shrugged. "You're right. But I know I won't break your heart."

"Ryan, stop. You wanted me to say something, right? Then let me say it. I'm not ready for it, and neither are you. This isn't gonna happen, this can't happen, and knowing that? The fact that I still feel the way I do about you is becoming a real problem for me. I don't...I don't trust myself around you, Ry."

"So, you feel it, too? This isn't me just making shit up in my head? You feel it, too?"

She nodded.

He scooted closer to her, reached the hand she was holding up to her face, and slid it slowly around the back of her neck, pulling her forehead to his. "I want you so bad," he whispered. "You want me too, don't you?"

"Ryan…this can't happen."

"Yes, it can. Show me how bad you want me," he demanded, as his other hand joined the one already on the back of her neck. Instinctively, she moved one leg across his lap, straddling him. Feeling how hard he was between her legs, she slid her hands up the front of his shirt and ran her fingertips across his abs. "Your fucking body, Ryan. My God."

"You want it? It's all yours, baby. I'll take you to my bedroom right now and fuck you ‘til you can't move. But I wanna hear you admit that you want this."

Their foreheads still pressed together, their lips were getting dangerously close. She knew damn well that if they did this, there was no going back. This would complicate everything between them, just like Rizz had warned. He started slowly rocking his hips upwards into hers, and she responded by pressing hers down and grinding herself all over his lap. "Fuck, that feels so good, baby."

"Ryan. We can't…do this," she moaned, knowing her protest was beyond useless at this point.

This was happening.

"Then fucking stop me." His hands aggressively made their way up the front of the hoodie she had on, and right as he grabbed her tits, his tongue slid inside her mouth. She immediately met it with her own. He broke the kiss so he could yank the hoodie up over her head. She grabbed the bottom of his shirt and pulled it off, instantly returning her mouth to his. They kissed like their mouths were made for each other; their tongues knew every move the other one was going to make, their lips knowing exactly when and where to suck, like they'd done this a thousand times.

"You've got me so fucking hard," he told her, as he grabbed her ass and flipped her over onto her back, pushing himself on top of her. He pressed his knee up in between her legs and she closed them tightly around it, reaching her hand between their bodies and grabbing him through his sweatpants. She was impressed with his size: decent length, but well above-average girth. He grabbed her hand and forced it down the front of his pants, eliminating the barrier between her hand and his cock. "There we go. Fuck," he moaned, as she wrapped her fingers around him and began to jerk him off slowly.

He squeezed her small tits together and moved his mouth in between them, alternating between sucking her nipples and running his tongue in between her cleavage.

"I wanna fuck you, Ryan," she moaned.

"Say it again."

"I wanna fuck you so bad." She felt him harden even more as he pumped his hips faster, steadily fucking her hand. She was in the middle of wiggling out of her shorts with her free hand when a loud groan escaped him, and she felt his hot cum spurt all over her hand and the inside of his sweatpants. "Shit."

When he finished, neither of them moved and there was a lengthy pause, with Amara finally breaking it. "Hey, so…"

"Nope. Don't talk," he cut her off, embarrassed, his voice muffled as his face was pressed between her head and the couch. He sat up, adjusted his pants, and rolled his eyes. "That's just…fuckin' wonderful."

She sat up next to him and wrapped her arms around him. "For what it's worth: that was the hottest 30 seconds of my life."

He wiggled out of her grasp. "OK, you're not helping." He stood up and yanked the front of his pants away from his body. "Ugh. Well, I'll be in my room with a plastic bag over my head if you need me."

"I'm just gonna…" She wiped her sticky hand all over the outside of his pants. "I'm assuming those are going in the wash." He looked at her, horrified. "What? Were you gonna wear them on the bus tomorrow? And don't beat yourself up. I give amazing handies." She winked at him.

"I really hate you."

"No, you don't." She stood up. "On that note: it's time for bed."

He grabbed her hand as she tried to walk past him. "Next time, I swear to you, I'm gonna blow your fuckin' back out."

"Ryan, I'm 41, so that's an actual possibility. And there's not gonna be a next time. This was a mistake. I told you, we can't do this."

"Oh, we're doing this. We can and we are."

"This is really stupid."

"Why? What's the issue?"

"Because I'm old…"

"Because you're older than me? Big deal. I lost my virginity to a woman 20 years older than me. Clearly, I'm not worried about that."

"Of course you did," she mumbled.

"Fuck's that supposed to mean?" He crossed his arms and stared at her intently.

"Nothing. It's just…" She sighed. "You're so attractive, it's sickening. I don't know if you even know how hot you actually are."

"I've heard a few things about it."

"OK, well, I've never been with anyone even close to you. You're an actual 10. And I'm not an idiot. I've seen the girls you run with, Ryan. My old crusty ass can't compete. I think this?" She circled her hands between the two of them. "It's clearly some kind of curious junk food bender you're on or something."

He uncrossed his arms and placed his hands on either of her shoulders. "One, if you ever refer to yourself as junk food again, I'll throat punch you. Two, what you just did to me on that couch, how quickly I came? That doesn't happen. Like, ever. Not a single one of those girls," he leaned in close to her and kissed her on the forehead, "has shit on you. I've felt sick about you for days, wondering how to talk to you about this without scaring you away. And I didn't spill my guts just to have you write me off. I'm prepared to fight for this, for you. I don't have the first fucking clue what I'm doing, and I fully expect to fuck it up, but I'm ready to go down swinging."

"We're both gonna get so hurt. You know that, right?"

He shrugged. "Just another day that ends in ‘y' for me. It's a risk I'm willing to take."

"Fine, I'll make you a deal," she said. "I'm not committing to anything serious with you right now, OK? I can't. But if you wanna do this again, there's one condition."

"And what's that?"

"I want you to make nice with…"

"Don't say it. Don't you dare fucking say it!"

"…Tyler."

He groaned and threw his hands up. "I knew it. Really?"

"You're mean as shit to him."

"Because he's an asshole."

"No, he's really not. He's a good guy and he likes you. A lot. I want you to talk to him. You've got a long bus ride. Make friends with him, play ‘Never Have I Ever' or some shit. I have to imagine this rift between you guys is carrying over to the ice as well, no?"

"Yeah. Rizz yelled at me today," he said quietly. "Said I need to make more of an effort with him. And apparently, Coach is pissed."

"See? Now you have two reasons to play nice. You make friends with Tyler, and," she ran her fingers slowly through his hair, "you'll get exactly what you want when you come back from your little road trip."

He reached up, grabbed her hand, and moved it down to his crotch. "I ain't 41. I can get goin' again right now. Let's go, woman."

"You know, I would, but neither of us has another 30 seconds to spare at the moment, stud." She started back toward her room, then turned back to face him. "I'm serious. I want some progress between you two this weekend."

"Fine," he grumbled, heading to his room, wondering how the hell he was supposed to connect with Tyler fucking Hayes. He wanted to connect with him, alright: connect a right hook with his jawline.

By the time he finished showering, packing, and laying out his suit for tomorrow, it was after 12 and he was exhausted. Before he went to sleep though, he fired off a single text message.

R: You were right. Just hooked up, and I couldn't even last 30 seconds into a hand job. I fucking can't get enough of her, Luke. I think I'm falling for her.