Number 47 （36）

Christmas.

Christmas was in three days.

This year was flying by, and Ryan could hardly process all that'd happened in the past few months.

For one, there was Amara and Jake. The two of them were spending an absurd amount of time together, and there had been several nights that she hadn't come home, about which Ryan confronted her.

"Listen, could you give me a heads-up if you're staying out?" he'd asked her one night as they sat eating dinner together at the dining room table.

"Yes, Dad. I'm sorry."

"Stop it. I worry about you, and I wait up for you. If I don't hear you come home, I can't sleep. And I don't wanna start blowing up your phone while you're…you know." He pushed his food around on his plate with his fork. "Just please shoot me a quick text if you're staying out, OK?"

"I can do that."

Things had somewhat returned to normal between them since their talk on the night of Hayes's birthday in the sense that they hadn't had sex or fought, both of which were praise-worthy accomplishments for the doomed duo. It wasn't that he was over her; hell, he'd probably never be. They were just distracted from one another, as both their attentions were currently focused elsewhere, with hers on Jake and his on Hayes.

Hayes.

That was another story altogether. After they spent the night together in the hotel room, things had been tumultuous, to say the least. Ryan woke up alone the next morning, with Hayes having moved to the other bed at some point during the night.

"Mar wasn't playin'. Like, are you OK? I don't think a human being should snore like that, man," Hayes had told him when he'd asked why he moved. "Thank God I had a fuckin' old pair of earplugs in my bag or I'd have choked you unconscious."

Ryan knew there was more to it than that, but he didn't press the issue. In the two weeks that had passed, there were no discussions of "What is this?" or "What are we?" They'd since hooked up a handful of times more, each time with Hayes pressing Ryan to fuck, and each time with Ryan completely punking out.

"You know, for such a sex god, you're awfully shy around me," Hayes had said, zipping up his pants after they'd jerked each other off in the back seat of Hayes's truck. He'd reached over and grabbed Ryan's hand. "Rook, do you even like hookin' up with me?"

Ryan reached his other hand to his face, kissing him gently. "Yes. God, yes. It's all I think about. You…I'm just really nervous when it comes to you, and I don't know why."

Truth be told, Ryan knew exactly why. Only Amara knew about them; Hayes hadn't even told Osi, and he told Osi everything. Even though they weren't really "dating," so to speak, whatever they were doing wasn't something either of them felt comfortable advertising just yet.

They'd nearly gotten busted once in the Bridgeport Islanders' training room after finishing a workout together. Hayes had hit him up for some tips on how to shred his abs, so Ryan had put together a stabilization routine for him that included an obscene number of planks, both regular and side.

"I can't fuckin' hold it. I'm gonna die!" Hayes complained, shaking like crazy as he fought his way through another one-minute plank.

"You wanted to shred, right?" Ryan said, on his knees in front of Hayes. "This is how you shred. Hold it, hold it, come on, you got it!" He'd slapped the ground and counted him down for his last few seconds. "Come on: three, two, one, done!"

Hayes fell face down onto the mat below him, groaning and panting. But he'd done it. "My core is worthless, man."

"Get into a cobra. That'll help."

"The fuck's that?"

"Here." Ryan demonstrated it in front of where Hayes was lying. "Pop your chest up, but roll your shoulders back, and keep your hips flat against the mat."

Hayes copied it, face-to-face with Ryan. "Like this?"

"Almost. Just gotta…" Ryan leaned forward, pressing his lips against Hayes's. He smiled and reached an arm up to Ryan's shoulder, playfully knocking him over so that he ended up lying on his back, upside down, with Hayes moving his arms on either side of his face.

"That's better." He leaned down and stuck his tongue in Ryan's mouth, as the two began to suck face on the floor of the training room. They quickly pulled away from each other as they heard the door open, Ryan grabbing a nearby towel and Hayes standing up as Kasic and Dalesy walked in.

"Jesus, Hayes. You're gonna knock someone out with that fuckin' thing," Kasic teased, pointing at the massive hard-on he was sporting. "Can't blame you, though. Baylor in a compression tee and tights is bone-worthy, for sure." He walked by and punched Ryan lightly in the shoulder.

They'd driven back to the apartment parking garage in silence. Hayes parked the truck and finally said, "We gotta be fuckin' careful, man. We can't do that shit anymore."

Ryan agreed, and then they proceeded to hop in the backseat and dry hump each other, rubbing their cocks together until they both came in their pants.

"Hey," Ryan said, knocking on Amara's slightly opened bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

"Of course." She opened it for him, and he entered, got a running start, and flung himself onto her bed, accidentally knocking over the suitcase she'd just spent 45 minutes meticulously packing. "Baylor!" she yelled, annoyed. "With your big ass."

"Sorry," he said, getting up to help pick it up, but she pushed him back down.

"I got it."

"So, you guys leave tonight?" he asked, grabbing one of her throw pillows, squeezing it, and tossing it up in the air.

"Yes. He's picking me up in a few minutes."

"Turks and Caicos, huh? Fancy way to spend Christmas."

"Yeah, well. He knows I hate Christmas, so I guess this is his attempt to try and cheer me up. And just so you know, I didn't let him pay for me. I paid for my half."

"That's…really none of my business, Amara. And who the hell hates Christmas? What are you, the fucking Grinch?"

"The woman who opened what she thought was a Christmas card last year, and it ended up being a sonogram of her husband's baby with another woman." She slammed the lid to her suitcase and smacked it. "That's who hates Christmas."

"I suppose that's warranted."

"Why are you all mopey, anyway? When are you leaving for Minnesota?"

"Tomorrow morning. I mean, I'm excited to go home, but I'm gonna miss you, and…him."

"Things any better?"

He sighed. "Nope. I don't know why I can't just let loose with him. I know it's frustrating the shit out of him. It's frustrating me, too."

"Anyone else know?"

He shook his head. "Just you."

"You guys'll figure it out. It's all new to you, Ry. You hated him, then became friends with him, then shared him with your ex-girlfriend, and now you're dating. It's a very confusing dynamic."

"We're not dating," Ryan corrected her.

"OK," she said sarcastically. "Keep telling yourself that."

"Speaking of dating," Ryan said, sitting up. "Since he's picking you up, can I meet him?"

"I…well, he's not coming up. I'm meeting him in the lobby." She gathered her suitcase and carry-on and brought them both over by the door.

He got up and followed her, still holding the throw pillow. "Then I'll walk you down, carry your bags for you. I wanna…I wanna meet him, Amara."

"Why?"

"I'm not sure."

"Listen, you will. I just…not yet, OK?"

They looked at each other. "Does he know about me? About us?"

She looked away. "He knows…that I have a male roommate. He doesn't know you're a 23-year-old smokeshow, doesn't know you're a professional hockey player, and he doesn't know we dated or slept together."

"I wouldn't really call what we did sleeping." He winked and threw the pillow at her, but she didn't react. "So that'd be a no then. Does he know about Hayes?"

"Fuck no, he doesn't know about Tyler. Are you insane? What happened with me and Tyler is the kind of shit a girl takes to her grave."

"You ever gonna tell him about either of us? I mean, we're a part of your life, Amara."

"Yeah, a part that I'm not ready to share with him just yet."

"From a guy's perspective? The longer you hide it, the more pissed he'll be."

"From a jealous guy's perspective, you mean. Jake's…he's not like that."

"Mar, you've known him for like, five minutes. You have no idea what kind of crazy he is."

"Well, some people don't air out their crazy right out of the gate like you did, Baylor."

He rolled his eyes. "You know what? Have a good trip," he mumbled, pushing his way past her and out the door.

She followed him. "Ry, wait!" She pulled the back of his shirt to stop him. "I'm sorry."

He turned around. "Don't be. You're right. I'm crazy." He threw his hands up in the air and let them fall. "I'm anxious, I'm a…what'd you call me? Oh, a pathetic slut, and apparently I'm fucking gay now, too. I'm such a horrible person that you won't even let your new boyfriend know I exist. I get it. There's nothing to be sorry for, Amara. I'm a fucking piece of shit, and you never miss an opportunity to remind me of it." He walked down the hall towards his room. "Don't follow me!" he called, slamming his door.

She stood there, motionless, as she got a notification on her phone.

J: I'm downstairs, beautiful.

Grabbing her bags and starting towards the front door, she turned and looked back at his room, wanting to say goodbye.

Instead, she just left.

???

Ryan had just gotten out of the shower and was preparing to pack his bags for his trip out to Minnesota tomorrow morning when he heard a knock at the door. He threw on a pair of shorts and went to answer it.

"You really never wear a fuckin' shirt, do you?" Hayes asked, pushing past him while carrying a couple of wrapped presents. "Not that I'm complainin' or anything." He set the presents down on the counter and looked around. "Mar here?"

"Nope. Left with Jake for Turks and Caicos." Ryan mockingly said Jake's name.

"That old bitch didn't even say goodbye to me? Eww. Fuck this, I'm takin' her present back."

"She was upset when she left, so that's probably why."

Hayes rolled his eyes. "Lemme guess: you two fightin' again?"

"Not really. I mean, I called her out on something, and she wasn't trying to hear it. You know how she is. You can't tell her anything."

"Hmm. Sounds vaguely familiar," Hayes joked. "What happened?"

"I just asked if I could meet him real quick, and she said no. You know she hasn't even told him about either of us?"

"And this somehow surprises you?"

"Kinda, yeah."

"Rook, come on. You're not this dumb, man. Put it into perspective. You're 41, comin' off a horrible divorce, just puttin' yourself back out there, and you finally meet someone your own age that you can actually stomach. You gonna bring up the fact that you had flings and a fuckin' threesome with two well-endowed hockey players in their early 20s? That one fuckin' railed you senseless while you had the other one's dick in your mouth? Really think about that shit for a second, man. What dude is stickin' around after that revelation?"

"I never thought of what I had with her as a fling, Hayes. Not once."

"Well, Rook." He shrugged. "Unfortunately, that's what it was to her, man."

"Talk about a fucking gut punch."

"You gotta let her go. Ramara is not gonna happen." He grabbed Ryan's hand and dragged him over to the couch. "Now sit down so I can give you your present. I gotta head out early as shit tomorrow morning. Flight's at 6:00 a.m."

"Damn. You going to your mom's?"

"Yup," he said, grabbing the larger present from the counter and bringing it over to the couch. "Hopefully she won't be too wasted the whole time."

Ryan watched Hayes's face drop. He'd mentioned before that his mom was an alcoholic, but he hadn't really talked about it that much, so Ryan didn't push it, figuring he'd open up to him about it when he was ready.

"Anyway, so this," Hayes said, proudly handing the box to Ryan, "is for you."

"Wow, I…Hayes, I'm actually…I'm terrified to open this," Ryan teased.

"Oh, piss off. You're gonna regret that." He had a seat next to Ryan as he began to open it.

Ryan pulled back the lid to the box, moved the tissue paper, saw the royal blue, and stopped. "No. Hayes, I can't…"

"There's no one else I'd want to have it."

Ryan looked at him. "Are you sure?"

Hayes nodded. "Absolutely."

He reached into the box, carefully lifted it out, and held it up: the New York Islanders jersey Hayes had worn in his NHL debut game. He flipped it around, staring at his name and the number 47, which was his assigned number with the big club.

"I had it cleaned ‘cause it fuckin' reeked like ass. But I wanted you to have it. I think…I know you're a big part of why I got there this year. Besides, your face was the only one I was lookin' for in the crowd that night, anyway."

Ryan put it down on the end table, leaned over to Hayes, and wrapped his arms around him, with Hayes doing the same. "I'll take good care of it, man."

"Fuckin' right you will."

Ryan pulled away from the hug, but Hayes kept a hold of his hand. Ryan checked the clock on the cable box.

9:07 p.m.

"So, I'm guessing you wanna call it an early night then?" Ryan asked, standing up from the couch and pulling Hayes up with him.

"I mean, you kickin' me out?"

"No. I just," Ryan said softly, running a hand down the front of his chest, "had a little something I wanted to give you, too."

Hayes stared at his hand, which began making its way to the waistband of his pants. "Is that right?"

"Yeah. Come on," Ryan pulled him gently by his waistband towards his bedroom. Once inside, Ryan shut the door behind them, leading Hayes to the edge of the bed, where he sat and watched Ryan remove his shorts. Hayes reached down and lifted his shirt over his head, tossing it aside, as Ryan straddled him, pushing him backwards onto the bed. Their lips met immediately, followed by their tongues, as they kissed fast and sloppily, hands greedily running up and down each other's bodies.

"Hey," Ryan moaned, grabbing Hayes and rolling over so he was underneath him. "I want you to fuck me."

"And you're sure?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"Hollup," Hayes said, climbing off Ryan and heading towards the door. "Be right back."

Perplexed, Ryan figured he knew what he was doing, and took the opportunity to get up and grab a condom from his nightstand. He heard Amara's door open and then close a few seconds later.

Hayes returned with a bottle of lube and tossed it onto the bed next to Ryan.

"Is that…from her room?" Ryan asked, shaking his head. "Never mind. I probably don't wanna know."

"No, you definitely don't," he said, removing the rest of his clothes, climbing back onto the bed, and sliding up next to Ryan, who began to flip himself face down, but Hayes stopped him. "Nah. I wanna look at you, and I want you to look at me."

"OK," Ryan said quietly, grabbing the condom and tearing it open with his teeth as Hayes straddled him.

"Um, you know I can't knock you up, right?"

"No shit," he laughed, as he rolled the condom onto Hayes's cock, bending both of his legs and moving his own cock up onto his stomach and out of the way. "It can get a little…I'd just feel more comfortable."

"That's cool." Hayes dumped the other half of the bottle onto himself, making an absolute mess of Ryan's comforter for the second time. "Dammit."

He lined himself up, as Ryan grabbed onto his shoulder with one hand, the other wrapped around his own cock. "Go slow, OK?" he whispered.

Hayes nodded, and pushed himself slowly inside, allowing Ryan's body to adjust to him. "You good, Rook?"

Ryan nodded, squeezing his eyes shut and biting down on his bottom lip, as Hayes went a bit further. It was a little uncomfortable, but he was determined for this to happen. "Keep going," he told him, starting to jerk himself off. "I want it all, baby."

"Don't gotta tell me twice." He pushed himself all the way inside, Ryan taking all of him, and began to thrust himself in time with Ryan's strokes. "Fuck," he panted, as Ryan opened his eyes and the two of them stared at each other. "You like that?" Hayes asked.

"Yeah. Oddly…fuckin' good."

"Good."

"You?"

"Oh my fuck, yeah."

They didn't take their eyes off each other for a second, Hayes leaning back onto his calves and grabbing Ryan's knees, continuing to fuck him steadily from a different angle as he watched him caress his own cock.

They didn't say a word. There was no need or desire for dirty talk; just the feeling of each other's bodies and the look in each other's eyes was sufficient for this moment they shared together, a first for both of them.

Hayes could tell by the increased pitch of Ryan's moans that he was about to cum, so he quickened his pace a bit. Ryan reached his free hand up to Hayes's face, pulling it down to his own, and shoved his tongue into his mouth. He whimpered onto his teammate's lips as he came all over his own stomach, with Hayes coming inside him just a few seconds later while moaning Ryan's actual name. Hayes pulled out and collapsed next to him, and they both lay there, silent, except for their heavy breathing.

Ryan reached a hand up to Hayes's hair and tugged lightly. "Hey. That's the first time you've ever called me Ryan and not Rook."

Hayes shrugged. "I got caught up in the moment, man."

"Does this mean I can call you Tyler now?"

"Do you wanna fuckin' die?"

"If I had to die, I can't think of a better place to do it than lying naked next to you on my bed…Tyler."

"Oh, for fuck's sake, piss off with the sappy shit, eh?" Hayes got up, off the bed and went across the hall to the bathroom, before coming back, handing some tissues to Ryan and putting his boxers and pants back on. "I'm gonna head out. I still gotta pack."

"Fuck me and run, huh? After all we've been through?" Ryan teased, cleaning himself off and pulling his shorts back on.

"Yeah, that's it. I have no more use for you now that I've massacred your tight, virgin asshole."

"That was way harsh, Ty," Ryan said, getting up from the bed and following Hayes to the front door, bummed that he didn't pick up on his perfectly timed Clueless reference. "Seriously? Nothing?"

"Hey. I'm gonna miss you," Hayes said softly, grabbing his hand. "I already can't wait to get back to you."

"Me too. I mean, I'm gonna miss you, not me. Unfortunately for me, I'm stuck with me."

"When you coming back?"

"When's the first practice?"

"The 29th, I think."

"Probably the 28th then."

"That's what I was thinkin', too." Hayes opened the door, kissed Ryan, and stepped out into the hallway. "Have fun at home, and I'll see you soon. Number 47." He winked at Ryan.

"I don't follow. Aren't you number 47?"

"Yeah, but so are you. The jersey? That's kinda the other reason I wanted to give it to you. You're…number 47 for me."

Ryan furrowed his brow. "I thought you said you were at 44 after Mar?"

"I was. And then there was a stripper out in Dallas…"

"Oh, Hayes. You banged a stripper?"

"What? You never banged a stripper, Mr. 500-Plus?"

"I have not."

"‘Bout the only thing you haven't banged then. And there was a chick at Hughesy's beach house. So, numbers 45, 46, and," he said, poking Ryan's chest. "Number 47."

"But how did you know we would…"

Hayes smirked.

Ryan nodded.

"Merry Christmas…Ryan."

"Merry Christmas…Tyler."