Reality Check （14）

"So, Tyler Hayes, amazing game tonight. You posted two goals, three assists, seven shots on goal, just incredible hustle out there. That makes quite a few impressive games for you in a row now. You know, there have been lots of rumors flying lately about how you might get the call up to New York sooner than later. What are your thoughts on that?"

"Listen, you know, I'm just happy to be playing. It's, uh, been a rough year with my recovery and, uh, I'm just grateful to have the opportunity to play. This is a great bunch of guys, and you know, I'm just lucky to be here and hopefully I can, uh, stay healthy."

"Well, best of luck to you, Tyler. Thanks for your time."

"Thanks."

He hated giving interviews, but he understood that it was part of the deal. Hayes was many things, but articulate wasn't one of them. He pulled off his helmet, signed a few quick autographs on his way down the tunnel, and headed into the locker room, where 80's music was blasting. "Fuck, they got Rizz on aux again?" he bitched, having a seat at his stall and loosening his skates.

"You know you love the old shit, kid!" Rizz yelled from across the room.

"Yeah, apparently he's not the only one who loves the old shit," Seggy chimed in, pointing at Ryan's stall. Ryan wasn't there; he'd already made his way into the shower.

"Yoooo. That's messed up," Kasic said. "At least she's hot though."

"Eh, leave Rook alone. He's just trying to get his senior discount," Dalesy added.

"You know, Hayes, you hang out with her an awful lot." Seggy threw a roll of tape at him. "You blowin' those old ass hips out too? You better be careful, man. Brittle bones on those older broads."

"The fuck you goin' on about now?" Hayes replied, chucking the tape back at him and beginning to remove the rest of his gear.

"I just don't know why you guys are wasting your time with some old ass bitch when there's plenty of young, hot talent in need of proper defiling."

"Hey, Segorsky: that ‘old ass bitch' is my cousin, so how ‘bout we calm down with that shit?" Nick yelled, as he came into the locker room and went straight over to Hayes's stall. "I need to work on your shoulder for a bit."

"Tonight?" he whined.

"Yes, tonight. They're really looking at you, kid. We gotta make sure you're in prime condition. Let's go."

He followed Nick into the training room. "We'll do some external rotation stretches, some pendulums, and then you're free, OK? Lie down." He lifted Hayes's arm up and rotated it, holding it in place. "So: what's this about you hanging out with my cousin?"

"I, uh, it's not…I mean, it's not…like that," Hayes stammered.

"Calm down, I'm messing with you. I know you guys are friends. She tells me all the damn time."

"She talks about me?"

"All. The. Damn. Time. She loves you. Says you guys have fun together. Now, I'm not too happy about her and Baylor dating, but she's a big girl, I guess."

Even though Hayes knew they were dating, for some reason, every time he heard it, it was like a punch in the balls. "Why? You have an issue with Rook?" he fished.

Nick returned his arm to the resting position before rotating it again. "Any pain?"

"None."

"Good. That's a fantastic sign. Yeah, no issue with Baylor at all. Just don't think she's mentally ready for a relationship right now is all, not to mention, he's a bit more of a playboy than I realized. It's just, I'd hate to see either of them get hurt. She's always been able to, uh, how do I say it nicely? Persuade guys. They've always just kinda fallen at her feet. As soon as one would leave, another one was right there waiting."

"I can see that," Tyler said without thinking. "She's a cool chick, I mean."

"She is. But she doesn't always think things through all the way. Likes to rush into things with high hopes and doesn't always realize that decisions have consequences until it's too late. Hence: her marriage. Everyone told her not to marry him. You can't tell her anything though. And of course, there's the age difference. I just…didn't see it coming is all. In hindsight, probably should've. But, whatever. They're both adults." He helped Hayes sit up. "Make you a deal: we can skip the pendulums if you promise to hit them first thing at dryland tomorrow."

"Works for me."

"How you feeling, Hayes?"

"Great, man. Like I said, no pain whatsoever."

"That's not what I meant."

"Oh. Right. Um, OK. Good moments and bad moments, you know? Fuckin' way she goes." He shrugged. "You know, your cousin really helped me. I was in kind of a bad place and she pulled me out of it."

"Well, I did the same for her, so I'm glad to hear she's paying it forward. She's a little broken, but she's got a good heart."

"Man, I'm slowly finding out that we're all a little broken."

"That we are, Hayes. Hey: see you tomorrow."

"Later, Dunny."

Hayes went back to the locker room, fully expecting to take a shower in peace; instead, he arrived to all hell breaking loose.

"I just don't get it is all."

"There's nothing for you to get, man. I like her, and she likes me. What's the fuckin' problem?"

"The problem?" Seggy stood up and inched slowly towards Ryan. "The problem is that ever since you've been fuckin' with that bitch, you've been shit on the ice and a locker room cancer, bud."

"Don't call her a bitch, man," Ryan warned, stepping closer to him. "Don't."

"Or what, pussy? Everyone's been real patient with you, but the truth is that you're a waste of cap space. You're inconsistent as fuck, and you suck on D. Probably suck the D, too."

"I'm not your mom."

Rizz came out of nowhere, wearing only a towel, and stepped between them. "Yo, boys. Calm down. Let's just calm down now, eh?"

"And maybe if you could hit that shit right, she wouldn't be all over Hayes's jock. Don't think we didn't all see that shit tonight during warmup. She was eye-fuckin' him so hard, I got half a chub just watching it."

"How the actual fuck did I get dragged into this shit?" Hayes came over, down to nothing but his hip pads, and stood next to Ryan, facing Seggy.

"Because everyone knows you're bangin' her, too. Probably why your girl cheated. She's about the same age as those billet moms were, eh? Seems right up your alley, you little fuckin' home wrecker."

Ryan made a sudden move towards Seggy, but Hayes held him back. "Nah, fuck this washed-up piece of shit, man. He's not worth it. AHL contract with no hopes of ever movin' up to the show, and a mediocre wife who's probably on my jock, too. Just jealous is all."

Seggy let loose an exaggerated laugh. "Yeah. That's it, Hayes. She prefers men, not little boys."

"Yeah, I heard she does prefer men. Lots of ‘em, all at once." He made a train horn motion with his arm. "All aboard the bukkake express, boys."

Seggy stepped towards him. "You're a mouthy little shit!"

"Do somethin' about it then," Hayes said calmly, his arms up and starting towards him. Now it was Ryan holding Hayes back. Osi had since wandered over and latched onto the back of Hayes's hip pads to keep him put. Hayes grabbed his crotch. "And ‘little boy' nothin'. Everyone here's seen it. Biggest one in the whole locker room, bitch."

"Yeah, your fuckin' mouth, maybe."

"Hayes. Enough," Osi said, yanking him backward. "Is not worth it." Osi looked terrified; he was predominantly a peacekeeper but would jump in to defend Hayes in a millisecond.

"You're a little bitch, Hayes. You and your boyfriend Baylor."

"Yeah? Let your wife know we'll tag her any time!" he shot back as Osi and Ryan dragged him off to the showers.

Ryan turned around and wanted to say something, but seeing as he was already under such scrutiny, he decided against it. Instead, he turned to Hayes and said softly, "I don't…I don't wanna tag his wife, man."

"Jesus, how dense are you, Rook? It was just chirps."

"I knew that."

???

The ride home is Hayes's truck was silent at first. Osi had gone out to hit the bars with some of the other guys. Ryan had been invited to go, but he wasn't in the mood. He kept staring at the messages Amara sent him throughout the night, none of which he'd responded to.

A: I'm sorry.

A: You played amazing. I mean, I have no clue what's going on, but lots of chatter about you in the stands.

A: Somewhere I can meet you afterward?

A: Guessing you're pissed. I'll just see you when you come home. I'm sorry.

"You should've met up with her," Hayes finally lectured. "She came out. It's the least you could've done for her."

"Hayes, don't," Ryan warned, putting his phone down and running his fingers through his hair.

"Yes, God forbid someone tries to give the almighty Ryan Baylor some constructive criticism."

"Maybe I don't want criticism from the guy who wants to fuck my girlfriend, OK?" he snapped.

"This shit again?" Hayes looked at him. "I thought I told you nothing's gonna happen between us."

"There's no girlfriend stopping you now, is there?"

"Nope. Thanks for bringing that up though," Hayes said quietly, checking the text message he'd just gotten.

A: He's pissed at me, isn't he?

"I'm sorry, man," Ryan said, his breathing labored. "I just…this shit is messing…with my head…so bad." His breathing sped up and it hit him out of nowhere. He reached between the seat and the door and hit the button, reclining his seat back. "Fuck."

"Yo, Rook. What's the matter? Shit, you havin' one of those attacks?" Hayes asked, concerned.

Ryan nodded rapidly.

"OK, shit. What'd she tell me to do?" He pulled the truck off to the side of the road and put it in park. "OK, um…oh, right. OK. Five things you can see right now, Rook."

"The dashboard. The seatbelt. The center console. My phone. Some asshole that wants…to fuck my girl." Ryan smirked, then closed his eyes.

"Yo, not the time for jokes, bitch. Um, what was…oh, four things you can hear right now?"

Hayes got him through the rest of the steps, all the way down to one, and his breathing almost returned to normal. He moved the seat back into the upright position and looked over at Hayes, who looked like he'd seen a ghost. "You good, man?" Ryan asked as if he'd been the one who's just had an issue.

"Yeah, I mean. Wow, it just hits you like that, out of nowhere?"

"Yep." He took a deep breath. "Not fun."

"That was freaky as shit. I've never seen anything like that before."

"How'd you know what to do?"

"She gave me the run-down, made me practice what to do 40 fuckin' times like it was some kind of CPR certification course." He sighed. "That woman? Cares about you so much, it's disgusting."

"Yeah? Well, she feels the same way about you, Hayes," Ryan said. "And if I'm being honest? I fucking hate it."

"Why? We're friends. Good friends."

"Because I'm…ugh, God!" He leaned forward and buried his head in his hands. "Because I'm…"

"You're what, man?"

"Because I'm fucking jealous of you, alright? Shit!"

"Jealous? Of me?" Hayes laughed. "That's funny."

"And why is that funny?"

Hayes put the truck in drive, pulling off. "Because maybe I'm a little jealous of you, man. Ever think of that?"

"That's absurd," Ryan scoffed. "Jealous of what?"

"We really fuckin' doin' this Rook? Like a couple of drunk high school bitches comparin' titties?"

"Yes. Because I don't believe you."

"Nah, fuck that. You brought it up. You go first."

"Fine. For one, you're a much better hockey player than me. There, I said it. You're gonna go to the show any minute, and God knows how long I'll be stuck in this shit league. Two, you trash talk better than anyone I've ever met before. It's seriously impressive how good you are. Three, you're insanely confident, probably because you've got like, an eight-foot cock. And mostly it's because I see the way she looks at you, man. I fuckin'…I know it's not your fault, but I can't stand it, Hayes."

"That why you tried to take me out in the warmup tonight?"

"I fucked up. I'm sorry."

"You're lucky you didn't get scratched for that shit. Everyone saw it, and I could've been a real dick. So, what do you want from me anyway? You want me to stop hangin' out with her?"

"Would you, if I said yes?"

"Nah."

Ryan nodded.

"How would that be fair to her? You're gonna have to get over it, Rook. You either trust your girl or you don't."

"I just…it's the way she looks at you."

"Do you even see the way she looks at you, Rook?"

Ryan shook his head.

"Nah, of course you don't. Always too busy focusing on the negative shit. You're one of the most negative people I've ever met."

"That's kinda my MO if you haven't noticed. Anyway. Your turn."

"Oh, I was just messin' with you. Why the fuck would I be jealous of you?" Hayes waited for his sour reaction, which didn't disappoint. "Look at you, man. Your face, your hair, your body. Shit, I could work out six hours a day and eat nothing but ice and I wouldn't be half as yoked as you. You've got no body hair, no body fat. All the birds sweat you. You're fuckin' hot as hell."

"And? What else?"

"What else? Sorry, didn't know I needed to rattle off a laundry list for you."

"Are you jealous because of her? Just be honest and tell me."

"Tell you what, Rook? That if I knew for a fact that no one would get hurt or find out, I'd fuck her? Is that what you want me to say?"

"Is that the truth?"

"Alternate universe scenario. Impossible to answer."

"Tell me this: is it just sexual, or is there more to it?"

Hayes sighed. "Rook, I don't fuckin' know. I just…wanna smash her, man. That's all I know. I really wish I didn't."

Ryan crossed his arms. "So do I."

They rode the rest of the way to the apartment, walked through the parking garage, and rode the elevator in deafening silence. There was so much those two boys needed to say, wanted to say to each other, but it all remained unspoken for the moment.

When the elevator stopped on the fourth floor, Hayes got out. He turned back towards Ryan and held his hand out to stop the doors from closing. "Yo: please don't take it out on her. Hate me if you want, crank a hundred pucks at my face, whatever you gotta do. But don't take it out on her. She's been through the fuckin' wringer. Just let her feel what she feels, man."

Hayes pulled his arm back and let the door close.

On the walk to his apartment, he was looking at his phone, so he didn't see until he got there that she was sitting on the floor outside of his door. "Fuck. Here we go," he muttered, putting his phone in his pocket and reaching a hand down to help her up.

"Hey. Can we talk?" she asked nervously, tightening her grip on his hand. "Is, uh, Osi here?"

"Nah. Bar hoppin' with the guys." He locked eyes with her, which was always a mistake. They were glassy; that either meant she was drunk, had been crying, or possibly both.

"We should," she snaked a hand around his waist, "go inside. To talk."

"Hey. Maybe it's not the best idea for you to come over right now, Mar."

She grabbed the collar of his dress shirt with both hands, pulled him close to her, and stopped mere inches from his lips. "I want you so bad," she whispered. He smelled some sort of alcohol on her breath. "I'll let you do whatever you want to me, Tyler."

Both of their breathing was spiraling out of control, but he made damn sure their lips didn't touch. "Come on. You can't say shit…like that to me." He reached up, removed her hands from his collar, and gently pushed her away from him. "Mar, I need you to leave." There was an urgency in his voice that she'd never heard before. "I don't want you to, I need you to. You understand me? We can talk later, OK?"

She nodded, turned around, and walked back towards the elevator.

He watched her walk completely out of sight, making sure she didn't return.

"Don't say I never fuckin' did anything for you, Rook," he said aloud, unlocking the door and pounding it twice with the bottom of his fist before going inside and slamming it behind him.