Welcome Home （11）

It was well after one in the morning when Ryan finally got home. He and Osi had ridden back to their building with Hayes in his Ford Raptor, and he tried to come in as quietly as he could, so as not to wake Amara.

Opening the door, he saw that the living room light was on. He set his keys on the counter and hung his suit jacket on the back of one of the stools, just as she came slinking around the corner towards him. Her hair was up in a high ponytail and she was wearing one of his tank tops with a pair of black lace underwear.

He stared, flustered. "Oh, uh, wow. Sorry if you were asleep. I was trying to…"

Before he could even finish his sentence, her tongue was tracing his lips and she was unbuttoning his dress shirt. She got it all the way undone, yanked it off his shoulders, and pushed it to the floor. Her hands migrated to his suit pants, unbuttoning and unzipping them. She pulled her mouth away from his.

"Hi," he panted, watching her drop to her knees in front of him. He clutched her ponytail as she immediately grabbed him and took him into her mouth. "Fuck," he moaned, as she began aggressively sucking him off. He looked down at her, and she looked up, locking eyes with him. "You're even more beautiful with my cock in your mouth." He knew if he let her keep going, he was gonna cum pretty quickly; he'd never in all his adventures been with someone who knew exactly how to touch him the way she did. It was like her DNA'd been programmed to get him off. "No. Fuck this." He pulled her head away.

"What's wrong?" she said, looking up at him.

He slid his hands under her arms and pulled her to her feet, kissing her, as he ran his hands all over her body: across her tits, down her sides, and over her ass. Ultimately, he kept one on her ass and moved the other between her legs, which she parted instinctively as soon as she felt him touch her there. "What's wrong," he said, rubbing her through her underwear, "is that you're not sitting on my fucking face right now." He pushed the fabric to the side, and feeling how wet she was, went for two fingers.

"Ryan," she moaned, as she wrapped both arms around his neck to steady herself, her legs almost collapsing as he moved his fingers in, out, and around inside her.

"Tell me how to make you cum. I wanna make you cum so fucking bad."

"Your bedroom, now."

He removed his hand from between her legs, grabbed onto her ass with both of his hands, and lifted her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist and kissed his neck as he carried her down the hallway, into his room, and dropped her onto his bed. Her legs hung off the edge as he stood over her. "Get on your knees," she instructed him, as she tore off the tank top she was wearing and chucked it onto the floor.

He reached up, ripped her panties off, and spread her legs, as she positioned them on top of his shoulders. She moaned loudly as she felt him run his tongue slowly along her clit, teasing her. He pushed two fingers inside of her again, before alternating between licking and sucking her clit while he finger-fucked her.

She knew it wouldn't take long; the kid knew exactly what he was doing. Still, she gave him some pointers to make it go quicker. As he continued using his fingers and mouth flawlessly in tandem, she felt herself tense up after just a few minutes. "I'm right there," she squeaked out. "Ryan, omigod!"

He removed his fingers, reached up to grab her tits, and buried his beautiful face between her legs, fucking her with his tongue as she came all over it.

She lay there, panting, as he walked over to his nightstand. "Holy shit. That felt…so good," she told him, as she watched him tear open a condom with his teeth and put it on.

Her heart was pounding out of her chest, realizing what was about to happen. She backed herself completely onto the bed, and he climbed on top of her. "You thought that felt good?" he asked, as he reached down, grabbed his cock, and guided it slowly inside of her. She whimpered, as her body, still sensitive from her orgasm, adjusted to his size. "Tell me how you want me to fuck you."

"Make me forget my name."

"Done."

He positioned himself over her, holding himself up on one elbow and gripping the headboard with his other hand. He started grinding his hips into hers slowly, teasing her and gauging her reaction. She reached her hands up and grabbed two fistfuls of his messy blonde hair, tugging on it as he continued to give it to her slowly, desperate to hear her beg for it.

"Faster, harder," she moaned, staring into his eyes, which were fixed on hers.

"You want it faster, harder?" he asked, continuing at the same pace. "Beg me."

"God, please, Ryan. Faster. Harder. Please!"

He let go of the headboard and sat up, removing himself from her for a second. He grabbed both of her legs and moved them onto his shoulders. He leaned forward and pushed himself inside her again, grabbed the headboard with both hands, and proceeded to give her exactly what she wanted.

There was no kissing, no talking, nothing even remotely sweet or romantic about anything that was happening on that bed. The way he fucked her was animalistic; she'd never experienced anything like it before. She was so flustered by what his body was doing to hers that she couldn't figure out what to do with her hands. She moved frantically between pulling his hair, dragging her nails up and down his back, and grabbing his ass. She eventually reached them up above her head and grabbed onto his biceps, as he continued to annihilate her pussy with his fat cock.

Ryan fucked fast, he fucked hard, and he fucked steady. He didn't let up, not even for a second. The noises that were escaping her were foreign even to her. The position of his hips stimulated her clit, and she felt herself getting dangerously close to another orgasm. He noticed the change in the noises she was making and leaned down to her ear. "You're gonna cum again, huh? Go ahead, it's yours. Cum all over it, baby."

She moaned his name as she came again, tears involuntarily leaving her eyes as he fucked her hard and fast through the remainder of her orgasm, savoring his pulses all over his dick until he couldn't hold out anymore. He sat up, pulled out, and removed the condom, tossing it aside. "Finish me off," he demanded, grabbing her hand and placing it on his cock. She wrapped her hand around him and gave him a few hard, slow pulls. He crept up her body, squeezed her tits together, and groaned as she jerked his hot load all over them. "Fuck."

When he was done, he searched for something to clean up with. He got off the bed and grabbed the tank top she'd been wearing. He noticed she was crying, and when he was finished wiping her off, she rolled over onto her side away from him. "Hey. What's wrong?" He slid behind her, wrapping an arm around her body and pulling her close to him. "Talk to me."

She laughed awkwardly through her tears and nodded, wiping her eyes. "Sorry. It's just…a lot of emotions right now."

"Sorry I'm such a lame fuck," he teased, as she grabbed onto his hand.

"Yeah right," she said. "It's just…for one, I've literally never felt anything like that in my life. If this whole hockey thing doesn't pan out, you should get into porn. Holy shit, Ryan. That was…that was unbelievable." She rolled onto her back, and he draped his arm across her stomach.

"Thanks. I've been waiting a while to do that. It felt amazing for me, too, believe me." He rested his head against hers, and they lay there, naked and silent, for a bit.

She was the first to break the silence. "Also, that's the first sex I've had since my ex."

Ha! His heart jumped. So she hasn't been sleeping around, and she hasn't done Hayes. "Really?" he said, trying to cover his excitement. "I guess it's weird?"

"Very," she replied quickly. "When you've been with someone for 11 years, it's so strange. I'm so glad it was with you though, you fucking stud."

"Me too."

"Seriously, that was…" She shook her head. "I've never cum just from sex before like that. You fuck entirely too well." She hovered her arm to show him. "Look, I'm still shaking."

"Well, I'm available anytime. You're not so bad yourself. I was about to cum when you were going down on me in the kitchen. We have a good chemistry, you and me."

She rolled over to face him. "That we do, Baylor. Ugh, I should probably get to bed. It's late, and you've gotta pa..." She started to move, but he stopped her.

"Stay with me?" he asked quietly. "Let me fall asleep next to you."

"Ryan, I can't…"

He sat up, frustrated. "Of course you can't." He sighed, preparing to ask her the question that so many girls before had asked him. "So, like, what even is this?"

"It's…just sex, Ryan." She sat up next to him. "Let's not complicate it."

"Is it, though?" He reached a hand up to the side of her face and pulled her in for a long, slow kiss. She kissed him back and ran her fingers through his hair. He sucked on and bit her bottom lip before ending the kiss. "Please?"

She noticed the desperation and sadness in his eyes, and against her better judgment, agreed to stay. "Maybe just for a little bit."

"I'll take that." He reached to the end of the bed and pulled his blanket up. "You cold? Here." He covered their legs as they both lay down on their backs. He folded his hands behind his head, and she turned into him, resting her head and a hand on his chest.

"Your heart is racing," she observed. "You good?"

"Very."

What the hell are you doing with this boy? she thought, as she lay there listening to his heartbeat. She could feel her own beginning to match the pace of his.

"You nervous, too?" he asked.

"Very."

Neither of them said anything for a few minutes, just listened to the other one breathing. Finally, Ryan said, "So, secret time: I told Hayes about us tonight on the bus ride."

The mention of Ty's name sent a shock wave through her body, as she hadn't expected to hear it at that moment. "Oh?" she responded. "And what'd he have to say about it?"

"He said it's about time. He also said that all you do when you're with him is talk about me."

Amara lifted her head up. "That little shit! Wait ‘til I see him."

"So, is that true? That you talk about me all the time?"

"I can neither confirm nor deny these accusations against me."

He reached up to where her hand rested on his chest and intertwined his fingers with hers. "Hey: all I do is think about you."

"Ryan, don't…"

"No, don't ‘shush' me. Let me talk, OK? I've never felt this way about anyone before. I don't understand why you're so hell-bent on fighting this. We're compatible emotionally, we're ridiculously compatible physically. What else do you need?"

"I need to heal, Ryan!" She raised her voice, startling him. "I'm sorry. I don't mean to yell. But that's what I need. I have good moments, this being one of them, but my heart is still very much broken. I know you don't understand that, but it's so beyond broken. And I honestly don't know if it will ever not be."

"Maybe there's a reason I don't understand it, Amara. You've never told me about it."

"Because I don't like to talk about it, Ryan. That's why."

"Funny. You had no problem talking to Hayes about it."

"Oh my God. I'm gonna kick his ass!" she groaned.

"Hey, you wanted us to talk, so we talked. Boys gossip way worse than girls do. Especially hockey boys. We're the worst."

"Apparently. So, he told you?"

"Yes. And Amara, you didn't deserve that. I'm so sorry that happened to you." He kissed the top of her head. "Why won't you open up to me?"

"Because I don't want you to judge me."

"As if I'm in a position to judge anyone."

"Stop. I'm serious. Do you have any idea how embarrassing it is to be cheated on, especially after you've taken marriage vows? When you think you're gonna spend the rest of your life with someone, and the next thing you know, you're selling all your shit and paying for a divorce lawyer? You spend every waking moment blaming yourself, wondering what you could've done differently, what you did to cause it."

"It's not your fault, Amara. He was a piece of shit who didn't deserve you. You've gotta know that."

"He really wasn't though. That's the worst part. I'm angry and I'm hurt, but he wasn't a bad man. He just…he fucked up, and unfortunately, some mistakes are more costly than others. The worst part is how stupid I feel for thinking I'd found ‘the one', like that's even a real thing. I just thought at this point in my life, I'd be a mom, I'd have this perfect, happy little life, maybe driving the kids to soccer practice or some shit. Not lying naked after getting railed by some gorgeous 23-year-old hockey player whose cock is a heat-seeking missile for my G-spot. No offense."

"Yeah, none taken."

"And it's sucked, but I've come to grips with the fact that the life I planned for myself? It's never," she stopped, getting choked up. "It's never gonna happen. My entire world was taken from me, all of it, in an instant. Me and him? We had our problems like everyone else, but we made plans for the long haul, and one instant killed all of it. All I've ever wanted was to be a mom, Ryan, and I'll never get to have that now. Trust me, I want nothing more than to move on, but it's not that simple." She wiped her face bitterly. "And I'm just…so fucking angry. And afraid. I don't wanna get close to someone else just to have it taken away from me in an instant again."

"You think I don't understand that? My dad went out one night to pick up dinner for him and my mom and was killed by some drunk asshole who ran a red light. That happened in an instant, too. That's life, Amara. Shit happens, but you don't stop living. You can't. Certain risks," he squeezed her hand, "will always be worth taking."

"So, what is it you want from me, Ryan? This old, broken, grumpy bitch. What are you looking for with this?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

"I wanna be your man."

"Jesus, Ryan."

"Yeah, I know. How crazy, right? Listen, I'm sorry that all happened to you. And I'm just as broken as you, but maybe I can help you heal. You don't have to do this alone, Amara. I wanna help you, and I want you to help me. So, I'm young. Fuck all that noise. I wanna be your man. I wanna hold your hand in public. When you introduce me to people, I want you to say, ‘This is my boyfriend, Ryan', not ‘This is my roommate, Ryan.' That's what I want from you, from this. And you can play this little game with me all night, OK? But I know you feel it, too. And if I'm wrong? Then maybe you should head back to your own bed."

He reached over onto his nightstand and turned the light off, then wrapped his arms around her body, pulling her closer to him.

Where the hell did that come from? she thought, though admittedly turned on by his sudden boldness. He was sound asleep before she could even think about responding, so she gave herself permission to get comfy in his arms.

Just this once, though.

Because besides her broken heart, there was something else holding her back that she continued to keep secret from him.

She didn't know how to tell Ryan that despite all her best efforts to ignore it, she couldn't shake it anymore.

She needed to get Tyler Hayes out of her system.