Chapter 29

SITTING ON HER BALCONY , feet propped on the railing, with Jaxx curled up in her lap, Piper sipped a nearly full glass of wine as she stared at the trees along the walking path. Why had she never noticed how closely they resembled the black-and-white opening to a horror/sci-fi series she used to watch with her dad growing up? All they lacked was the eerie music. Had they always looked so creepy, or had Morgan’s crazed evil skewed her view of the world?

She was probably a little crazed herself for sitting out there alone so soon after a maniac held a knife to her throat. But they’d finally had a break in the heat, and she wasn’t going to let fear keep her from enjoying her balcony. Because seriously, what were the odds of that happening again?

Jaxx’s head popped up, his ears twitching, and she immediately regretted questioning fate. Then she heard Tristan calling her name faintly through the closed door. Jaxx must have heard him, too, but he settled again, not about to leave a cozy lap. He purred loudly as Piper resumed gently stroking the sweet spot between its ears.

“Oh, to be a cat,” she said softly, using her thumb to rub beneath his chin, another of his favorite petting places. “All you have to worry about is if your wet food is served on time, deciding which of two dozen spots you’ll nap in, and whether you want to scratch my furniture or groom yourself first. You don’t have to deal with gorgeous men with baggage who twist your heart into knots.”

Speak of the devil and he appears, she thought moments later, when the sliding door opened and closed. Jaxx cracked his green eyes and focused on the intruder, but he still didn’t budge.

“He won’t run off?” Tristan asked as he pulled up the other chair and sat beside her.

“He’s never tried. He knows how good he’s got it here.”

He reached out and gave him an ear scratch, too. “Jaxx isn’t as clever as he looks if he doesn’t.”

When Tristan sat back, withdrawing his hand, her fickle, furry feline stood, stretched, and promptly hopped in his lap to curl up and resume his nap.

“Traitor,” Piper muttered.

“He’s a man’s cat and an excellent judge of character.”

Not in the mood for teasing, she grunted, neither agreeing nor disagreeing, before taking another healthy sip of wine.

“I expected Josie to be here still.”

“She kept nodding off, so I sent her home about an hour ago.”

“You’re okay being here alone?”

“Not really, but what choice do I have? My lease isn’t up for another twenty-two months.”

“You have choices. Leases can be broken or—”

“Where do you go when you disappear?” she interrupted, unable to suppress the question burning in her mind for hours. “You weren’t working. Christian called, looking for you earlier.”

Without disturbing Jaxx, Tristan propped his feet on the rail next to hers, a small smile playing on his lips.

Sure. Now, he smiles when I’m not even trying.

“What’s funny?” Her mother would be appalled at her manners, but Piper didn’t care. She wasn’t in the mood to be polite either.

“Nothing. Just that I like straightforwardness and how you get right to the point.” He met her gaze. “You’re correct. My business today wasn’t work related. It was personal, and it’s time I explained.”

Careful what you ask for, an inner voice drawled.

“I need more wine,” Piper suddenly declared, practically jumping out of her chair.

Startled, Jaxx leaped off Tristan’s thighs then, with a sniff, his tail in the air, as if tired of being disturbed, he walked to the door to be let in. Piper was Johnny on the spot and opened it. Before she could escape inside, too, Tristan caught her wrist.

“Your glass is still full,” he pointed out.

“This is too dry,” she lied, so much for straightforward. “I’ve got another bottle that might be sweeter.”

He slipped the glass from her fingers and set it aside. “Sit. We need to talk.”

“I’m not sure that I want to. That sounded ominous.”

“You’ll want to hear what I have to say,” he reassured her.

“Promise?”

“Yes, and I’m a man of my word.”

She took too much time deliberating. Tristan must have caught her eyes darting toward the door because he promptly pulled her onto his lap.

With a startled “Ope!” when she landed off-balance, falling against his chest, she wiggled and squirmed to get up.

His arms came around her to keep her in place. “Sit still and hear me out.”

She figured she owed him that much after everything he’d done to protect her. Prepared to listen, she stopped struggling, but she didn’t relax. Tense, with her spine as stiff as a broom handle, she braced herself for bad news, especially when he inhaled deeply before proceeding.

“Do you remember the baggage I mentioned?”

“I knew it!” Breaking his hold, she leaped to her feet. “Now that my drama is over, you’re done with me.”

“Wrong,” he said, catching her and hauling her back down. “We have an arrangement that, as you mentioned, is going swimmingly.”

“I’m too clingy. After I promised no strings,” she guessed next, struggling to get up again but unable to with his arms tight around her.

“By clingy, do you mean needing reassurance after being held at knifepoint and finding out a stalker had put cameras in your bedroom? You held up remarkably well. The entire team was impressed. If you needed a sense of comfort and security while you regrouped, so what? Most women, and a helluva lot of men, would have completely lost it.”

“Then what is it? Are you married?” she asked, still futilely squirming. “Or going through a divorce and still in love with your wife?”

“Wrong again. I’ve never been married, and, if I were, I wouldn’t be with someone else.”

Piper stopped and looked back, regretting thinking, even for a second, he’d do such a thing. “That was Josie’s guess, but I didn’t want to believe it.”

“You’re building this up in your head.” He repositioned her to face him, her legs straddling his thighs with his hands on her hips ensuring she stayed put. “Are you ready to sit still and listen?”

“I’m thinking I need more wine.”

“Enough about the wine!” he grumbled, his patience worn thin. “Should I fetch my bag? I’m certain there’s a ball gag in there.”

“You wouldn’t!” she gasped. Then, remembering she was talking to a dom, Piper held up her hand. “Don’t answer that.”

“Why? You’re right. I wouldn’t do that to you,” he surprised her by admitting. “Not without consent. However, I’m tempted, especially if you don’t stop assuming and allow me time to explain.”

“Sorry, it’s just...” Her gaze shifted to her hands, balled up on his chest, her fingers twisted in the soft jersey knit. Wrinkling his shirts was becoming a habit. She relaxed her hands and smoothed the fabric, saying more calmly, “I’ve been sitting here for hours, waiting and worrying, and yes, building things up in my head. But my behavior is getting us nowhere. Therefore, I’ll act like the adult I always claim to be and will shut up and let you have your say.”

He caught her hands in his, holding them still. “Thank you. Afterward, if you still want to flay me with your tongue, I’ll let you.”

“Or maybe I could borrow a flogger from your bag?”

He didn’t even pause before saying, “Deal.”

The idea held no appeal, but she didn’t tell him that.

“None of what you and Josie imagined is true, Piper. What you call disappearing is me, in Santa Barbara, fulfilling a promise to a friend. My best friend, who died in my arms eight years ago.”

She gasped in shock, her hand flying to her mouth. “Oh, Tristan. I’m so sorry.”

“I am, too,” he replied, his voice thick with sadness.

She did the math, subtracting the years. “Eight years ago, weren’t you still in the service?”

“Yes. In Afghanistan. My unit was on a humanitarian mission, escorting medical staff and aid workers to a recently liberated remote village. We were carrying supplies of food, water, and medicine. Before we could reach the gates, a group of insurgents attacked out of nowhere.”

“That’s horrible!” she exclaimed, unable to contain her shock. “But why? Weren’t your vehicles marked?”

“Our convoy included a truck and an ambulance with big red crosses on the top and sides. They would have been hard to miss.”

“Isn’t attacking medical personnel and civilians a war crime?”

“Yes. Established nations usually abide by international humanitarian law. In this case, we were dealing with radicals who rarely follow the rules.”

“Of course, but it’s unimaginable that anyone could be so cruel as to deprive other human beings of food, water, and medical care...” she murmured, her words trailing off. She quickly realized she had done it again, not letting him talk. “I’m sorry. I’ll be quiet now. But seriously, it’s just...what a brutal place.”

“You aren’t wrong about that,” he agreed, sounding amused. When she peeked at him, his anger had faded, replaced by his elusive smile.

She had no clue what he found funny, so she asked, “What?”

“You have a way of being sweet even when you’re outraged on behalf of others or pissed at me. Before I kiss you and set you off again, I’d like to get back to the point.”

Curiosity gnawed at her, along with a desperate need to unravel the mysteries of his past. Her gaze drifted down to the chestnut softness of his beard framing his mouth. Although a kiss was mighty tempting, it would only delay her pursuit of the truth. She resolved to stay strong.

“Go on,” she urged gently.

“It was the worst day of my multiple deployments. We lost two good men, but Nolan’s death hit me harder than I could have ever imagined. We were kids when we met. He was a Nebraska farm boy like me, and we became as close as brothers.”

“What’s in Santa Barbara?” she asked.

“Lydia, Nolan’s widow, and his ten-year-old son, AJ.”

“Oh, Tristan,” she breathed, her heart aching for him amid the guilt she felt for calling him a cheat and a liar.

“He asked me to look after them as he bled out into the dirt. I promised I would, but Lydia was like family, and, with AJ not even two, I would have done it, regardless.”

With tears blurring his image, she gently cupped his face and rested her forehead against his, feeling the weight of his loss. No words were necessary, which was good because she had none to say.

When he continued, his words resonated with his anguish. “Losing him was like losing a part of myself. It was made worse because I was in command of the unit. I was responsible.”

“But you were ambushed! It must have been an impossible situation.”

“That’s what Command said, as did the rest of my team, but I’ll probably always live with guilt thinking I should have done something different.”

“And maybe had a worse outcome,” she challenged.

“I’ll never know for sure, and that’s what I live with.”

She didn’t know how to comfort him. What a horrible burden to bear.

“It was the worst day of my life. My family was gone. Everyone I ever loved. Then, Nolan, my brother. It changed me. I wasn’t an insensitive jerk to my pretty neighbors before then.”

Piper ignored his attempt at teasing. “Your heart was shattered. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to take any more risks.”

Tristan’s fingers tightened on her hips, his sole acknowledgment of her comment. He continued with his story, his speech carrying a sense of desperation as if he had to get it out or burst. Sensing his urgency, she kept quiet and let him.

“When I left the Army, I worked for a private military company. I took every job they threw at me, but it took me too far away from AJ and Lydia. I became a bounty hunter and worked by contract for a while. I was still away a lot, but the assignments were short, and I was never more than a few hours away by plane. Then, I found a place with Rossi. It seemed like the perfect setup. I was only a few hours from Santa Barbara, could work all I wanted to stay busy and play at the club without emotional attachments. I was fulfilling my promise to Nolan and achieving my goal of going through life alone so I wouldn’t have to endure losing someone I cared for again.”

His image wavered through her tears as she whispered, “It hurts my soul to hear you say that.”

He raised a hand to her cheek and gently wiped away one that escaped. “Don’t cry for me, sunshine. Notice I used past tense.”

“What?” she asked on a hitching breath.

“That was my plan until a sweet, beautiful blonde who radiated nothing but sunshine, and looked fantastic in her short shorts and tight pencil skirts—a term I’d never heard of until that day—put a crack in the stone wall I had so carefully constructed around my heart. With each interaction, whether with a smile or a joke or chewing me out in her adorably sweet way, that crack grew bigger until the entire wall came crashing down.”

“What made you visit Lydia today?”

“It was AJ’s birthday, but there was more to it.” He looked down at his hands, his vulnerability palpable, but he fought through it, his steady gaze locking with hers as he continued. “Lydia understands better than anyone because it took her eight years to move on, too. I went, hoping she’d talk me out of rebuilding that wall with bricks and mortar and steel rebar, making it higher and stronger.”

“The other night triggered you,” she guessed.

“Yeah. Almost losing you to a whack job scared the ever-loving shit out of me.”

“Did it work?”

He frowned, not grumpy like she was used to but puzzled. “Did what work?”

“Did Lydia talk you out of it?”

“Yes. That’s why I’m here, and you’re not drowning your sorrows in wine.”

“I need her address.”

“What for?” he asked, surprised.

“Because I owe her an enormous thank-you and the biggest bouquet money can buy.”

Tristan grinned full out, the first she’d seen when shibari wasn’t involved. “You’re an aspiring actress. A thank-you will do.”

She wound her arms around his neck. “Now I have a confession.”

Pulling her close, both his hands slid slowly up her back. “If you tell me you’re married or that you’re divorced and still in love with your husband, I will lose my fucking mind,” he stated, the rasp in his voice making it clear he was only half teasing.

She didn’t laugh or smile or tease, halfway or otherwise, when giving her reply. “I’ve never been married, either. And I’ve never been in love—until you.”

“Come here,” he growled as his fingers threaded in her hair. Time seemed to stand still as their lips melded and tongues tangled. When he released her, without his wall, he was like a dam unleashed. “I fell in lust the moment I saw your long, tanned legs and your round ass in those sweet yellow shorts. But I knew it was love, and I was in a helluva lot of trouble when I heard ‘fiddlesticks’ from your cotton-candy-pink lips.”

“But that was the day we met.”

“Yeah. Badass dom meets a sweet-as-can-be farm girl from Iowa and falls in love at first sight. The club gossips will have a field day when they find out.”

“I think it’s the most beautiful, romantic love story I’ve ever heard. And since it’s our story, we can keep it to ourselves. The gossips never need to know.”

“I like how you think, sunshine.”

“I have another confession.”

“What’s that?” he asked, dotting kisses along her jaw.

“I like it when you call me sunshine. But not as much as I like how you kiss. Could I have more, please?”

His eyes were the bluest she’d ever seen them, his breath warm against her lips when he replied, “I thought you’d never ask. Not that you ever have to.”

When his mouth covered hers, tender at first then hungry, her body melted against his. Tristan’s hands roamed her back, one going low to palm a bottom cheek while the other went high, fingers tangling in her hair. Each touch and heated caress left her breathless.

It wasn’t until his mouth glided hotly down the side of her neck that she felt the arms of the chair digging into her legs. It was more decorative than functional and not made for a guy his size, let alone with someone straddling him. She shifted to get comfortable, but there simply wasn’t room. Tristan noticed her distraction. His head fell back and, a bit breathless and flushed himself, he gazed up at her. Heaven help her, he was handsome. It almost made her forget the sharp wooden edge digging into her knee.

“I love you, Piper,” he whispered, pulling her mouth down to his once more. “I can’t wait to see where this goes.”

“How about the bedroom?” she suggested, taking what he said literally. “I’ve never liked this chair. The wheel thingy in the Decadence dungeon has got to be more comfortable.”

His hand on the back of her head relaxed, and he blinked up at her. Then he laughed, long and low and wonderful. He was still chuckling when he stood with her in his arms and headed for the stairs.

“Not mine!” she suddenly protested. “Yours.”

“Why?” he asked, instantly sobering. “Is something else wrong?”

“I...uh...may have thrown out my sheets. And my pillows. Also, my comforter.” Her arms and legs tightened around him as she made another confession. “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep in that bedroom ever again.”

“You won’t have to,” he asserted as he veered toward the front door without breaking stride. “Tomorrow, we’ll read over your lease and see if we can sublet your sublet. If not, I’ll cover it because you’re sleeping in my bed from now on.” He paused by the control panel. “My hands are full, baby. Punch in the code.”

Quickly, she paused the system for their exit. When he swept her out the door, Piper snuggled closer, burying her face in his neck. Her only response to Tristan in take-charge decision-making mode was to sigh contentedly. She wasn’t about to argue with him since she agreed wholeheartedly with his plan.