Chapter 28

HIS BLADE CAUGHT THE light. The blood on the steel and her fair skin appeared starkly vulgar and chilled him to the bone.

“No!” he shouted desperately as he raced toward her.

“Tristan...” Piper’s whisper sounded final, like a goodbye.

Ignoring the burning in his lungs, he refused to accept that and sprinted faster. Except the harder her tried to reach her, the farther away she seemed. When their eyes met, hers dull as if the spark in her was fading, it told him time was running out.

Tristan woke with a start, his chest heaving. Sunshine flooded his bedroom instead of the darkness he expected. The nightmare too closely resembled the reality of what had happened.

“Fucking dreams,” he muttered, sitting up, elbows to his knees and cradling his head in his hands. He’d traded the horror of Afghanistan and Nolan for Piper and her stalker, but thank fuck she was still alive.

He turned to take her in his arms and prove to himself that was true, but the place next to him was empty once again. He didn’t leap from the bed in a panic like the last time because the aroma of cinnamon and something he couldn’t quite place but smelled delicious reassured him Piper was here, just up and about.

He flopped back onto the pillows, staring at the ceiling, a little stiff from being in bed for more than his standard three hours. Throughout the night, he’d held her while she slept peacefully. He knew because he hadn’t, except in brief intervals. Not that it mattered. Awake or asleep—mostly the former—the shitstorm Perry had rained down had run through his mind on repeat.

When they returned home after the briefing, the yellow police tape was still across her door. He could tell from her panicked expression and her nails digging into his arm that she wasn’t ready to go in, even if the investigators were through. He took her straight to his place.

Piper showered. Her third in twenty-four hours. Scrubbing until the hot water ran out. Tristan checked on her twice, but he hadn’t lingered, giving her time to herself. He needed it, too. To process all that had happened. They piled up on his couch for the rest of the day. Ordering in and watching silly crap on TV that didn’t require thinking. He’d given her the remote and let her choose. All old classics and rom-coms, but he didn’t give a fuck. It was enough for him to be there for her, reach out and touch her when he wanted, and reassure himself she was all right.

When a local news update reported a stabbing at the Netflix studio on Vine, Tristan reached for the remote.

“It’s okay,” she said, stopping him with a hand on his forearm. “Have you had any updates on Axyl?”

“Not since this morning.”

“Can you check?”

“Yeah, sunshine. I’ll text Keiran.”

His phone buzzed with a response in minutes. After he read the message, he tossed his phone onto the coffee table and gathered her in his arms again.

“Axyl’s condition has been upgraded from serious to stable, and he’s expecting to be discharged in the morning.”

He felt the tension leach out of her, and she breathed the same thing she had that morning. “Thank goodness. He saved my life.”

“And he’d do it again. We all would. What pisses me off is that he had to do it at all, and it had to come at the eleventh hour in a dramatic rescue.”

She angled her head on his shoulder to look up at him, a wan smile on her lips. “It was a Hollywood ending, Tristan. What else would I have? It’s funny, though; the dramatic rescue is a lot like my current script. Knives, blood, and a nasty bad guy—the whole nine yards. Except my hero is Dirk.” She stroked his beard, grinning now. “He’s a far cry from Axyl, whose dialogue was a heckuva lot better.”

Rather than amusing, he found the coincidence worrisome. He rolled onto his side to face her, which shifted her into the crook of his arm. “I didn’t read that far. Can you handle doing something similar so soon?”

She relaxed against him. “What choice do I have? Besides, if it gets heavy, I have shibari and the rope master to help me relax and forget.”

“You’re a glass-half-full kind of person, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” she said, using the remote to change to TV Land and a rerun of an old sitcom. He realized what she was doing. They’d had comfort food, although she didn’t even eat one slice of pizza, along with comfort TV—something familiar, with no surprises or dramatic rescues, and required very little brain power. To go with it, she snuggled up against him, his arms and protection surrounding her. This was Piper’s version of aftercare following an intense event and several emotional weeks.

Good for her, whatever it took.

They slept in his bed, with her in one of his T-shirts, again plastered to his side. Or at least she slept. Dawn was visible through his curtains before he’d ever shut his eyes.

A crash from downstairs jolted him back to the present. Taking time only to pull on boxer briefs, he ran down the stairs and into the kitchen. Piper stood in the middle of the floor, holding Jaxx.

“I’m sorry we woke you.”

He shrugged that off. “I was up. Are you okay?”

“Yeah, but this guy is still exploring and he’s exceptionally good at getting into trouble.”

She scratched the cat behind the ear. He loved it, closing his eyes and purring, and Tristan could understand why. He liked it when Piper scratched his beard and petted him, too.

“He broke the handle off a coffee cup,” she said, explaining the crash. “It was the one with the dinosaur. I’ll replace it, though it might take a while to find one just like it.”

He located it on the counter. It had a bright-green cartoon dinosaur and read, Unclesaurus - like a regular uncle but more rawrsome. AJ had given it to him a few years back during his T-Rex everything phase.

He waved it off, although he’d kept it because he kept everything AJ gave him. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve got more mugs than I need.”

“Oh, but this one had to be special. It’s signed and dated on the bottom. Who’s AJ?”

“An old friend’s son,” he said haltingly.

“You must be close for him to call you Unclesaurus,” she teased.

Looking to change the subject fast, he came up behind her and slid his arms around her waist. Jaxx issued an abrupt meow of annoyance at his snuggle time being interrupted and jumped down. Tristan was happy to take his place and nuzzled his own furry face against her neck.

“Couldn’t sleep?” he asked, lips brushing her fragrant skin.

She squirmed as though it tickled but didn’t pull away. “Actually, I slept like a baby. After not feeling like eating yesterday, my empty, growling stomach woke me, and all I could think about was a big stack of pancakes. They’ll be done in a jiff.”

“I have pancake mix?” he said, completely shocked.

She turned, flashing him a smile. “No, you had the ingredients for me to make them. I even found blueberry syrup.”

“Thank my housekeeper. I had no clue.”

“Full or half stack?” she asked.

“Load me up, and I need coffee.”

“That’s ready too,” she said, turning back to the stove, appearing charmingly domestic with a kitchen towel thrown over her shoulder. Another nod to his housekeeper. He didn’t know he owned kitchen towels. Moments later, she carried two plates to the already set table, one heaped with at least six pancakes, the other with a third of that.

He could get used to this. With his nightmare still fresh in his mind, the question was, should he? He needed to talk to someone who knew how he felt, but he hated to leave her. Except, she wasn’t subdued like yesterday and more like her usual sunny self.

While she slathered butter and syrup on her pancakes, she asked, “How long before the police are done at my condo, do you think?”

“It’s hard to say. I’ll call and ask.”

“While you’re at work, Josie is coming over. She has a spa basket and is going to pamper me. I’d go over there, but I’m not up to running into Hunter and talking about it.” Her gaze rose to his. “Is that okay? If she comes over, I mean.”

“It’s fine. I want you to make yourself at home here and do what you have to do to recover.”

“Recover,” she repeated with a little laugh. “I don’t know if that’s possible after such a thing. It might be easier if you asked me to lasso a tornado.”

Maybe not so sunny. He leaned across the table and grabbed her hand. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“You mean a professional?” She shook her head when he nodded. “Probably someday, but not yet. The thing that helped the most was you holding me and reassuring me I was safe when thoughts of you-know-who crept in.”

“After we found Axyl knocked out, and I knew you were unprotected... Well, let’s just say it helped me to hold you, too.”

“How do you deal with this kind of thing all the time?” She peered at him closely. “Do you need to talk to someone?”

“Probably.” He left off the someday because once Josie arrived, he planned to make that happen today.

Just then, a knock sounded.

“That’s Josie now. I’ll let her in.”

She rose, started for the door, then turned back. Leaning down, she cupped his bearded jaw and softly touched her lips to his. “Thank you for everything, Tristan.”

He wound his fingers in her hair when she tried to pull away, keeping her there as he deepened the kiss.

“I’ll see you at dinner,” he murmured against her lips, reluctantly releasing her when Josie knocked again, more insistent.

Piper hurried to the door, staggering a little.

Although she seemed much better today, he was relieved she wouldn’t be alone while he took care of business—personal, not Rossi, like she assumed. Tristan hurriedly climbed the stairs, taking two steps at a time, quickly showered, and got dressed. He grabbed his keys and headed back down, pausing briefly at the kitchen doorway, looking in on the two women sipping their coffee.

“I’m heading out,” he announced.

“Have a good day,” she told him, her smile as bright as the sunshine streaming in from behind her.

“Don’t worry, Tris,” Josie assured him. “I’ll take care of our girl.”

His eyes didn’t leave Piper when he replied, “I’m holding you to it.”

Within minutes, he was on the road, heading north toward Santa Barbara. He hoped Lydia, who knew what he was dealing with and had been through her share of grief, could help him get his head on straight. Every other thought was of Piper, smiling at him one moment, with a knife at her throat the next. As he saw it, he had two choices—claim her or let her go. If he chose option A, and the worst should happen, how did he endure the agony of losing someone he loved once again? Yes, he silently acknowledged, he was in love with sweet, caring, funny, resilient, beautiful Piper. Option B meant suppressing his feelings, reverting to his old stubborn ways, and withdrawing from life. Either option was unacceptable.

“Yeah, but only one includes Piper,” he reasoned, staring at the winding road ahead. Whether it was for a day, a week, a decade, or beyond, the question remained: Was the gamble worth it?

He had his answer by the time he took the Santa Barbara exit. He still planned to run it by Lydia, whose wisdom and insight could very well keep him from changing his mind and completely fucking things up.

AJ GREETED HIM IN THE yard, launching himself at him and wrapping his skinny arms around him in a big, squeezing hug like he always did. It never got old, and Tristan drank it in. He loved him like a son, but more and more lately, each time he saw him, he wondered what could have been, and what might still be, if he wasn’t such a chickenshit.

“Is that for me?” he asked as they walked onto the porch together.

Tristan looked down at the gift in his hand. “You mean this box with Happy Birthday in giant letters all over it? Is it someone’s birthday?”

“Uncle Tris!”

“Okay. I’ll stop torturing you,” he said, handing it over.

AJ ripped a corner of the wrapping before asking, “Can I open it now?”

The screen door creaked, and Lydia joined them. “I’m here now, so yes, tear into it,” she urged.

He didn’t have to be told twice and shredded the paper. “Cool! A Nintendo Switch,” he squealed with excitement. “I’ve been saving my allowance all summer for one. And look, Mom! The Super Mario game pack I wanted!”

“I see. What do you say to your uncle?”

“Crap. I mean, darn. I mean, sorry, Mom, and thanks, Uncle Tristan.”

AJ gave him another hug while Tristan struggled to smother his laughter. He tried harder when Lydia gave him a don’t-encourage-him glare.

“Can I go play?” he asked his mother, who had strict limits on screen time. She always said she refused to have a kid who never saw daylight or breathed fresh air.

“Yes, but only for a little while,” she allowed. “Derek’s mom is picking you up at noon for practice.”

Lydia could have saved her breath because he’d run flat-out toward the door as soon as she said yes.

“It’s as if I’m talking to a wall sometimes,” she said, shaking her head. Having learned to pick her battles, evidently, she decided this one wasn’t worth fighting and offered him a half smile. “I was just about to have a cup of coffee and this amazing cinnamon roll coffee cake I baked this morning.”

“Count me in.”

Seated at her kitchen table, they caught up since his last visit—mostly about AJ. Tristan was just about to dive into his second piece of amazing-didn’t-do-it-justice coffee cake when she placed her left hand flat on the table. Immediately, he noticed the sparkling diamond on her ring finger.

Setting his fork down, he leaned back. “This just got serious.”

“Yeah,” she replied.

Curious, he inquired, “How did AJ react?”

“He’s fine with it, but he asked the same about you.”

Puzzled, Tristan asked, “Why?” as he reached for his cup.

Smiling, she explained, “He always thought you and I would get married one day.”

Startled, Tristan sputtered and almost choked on his coffee.

Laughing, Lydia admitted, “That was my exact reaction. I had to clarify that we call you his uncle because you were like a brother to his dad, and since we lost him, to me.”

He grasped her hand and squeezed it gently. “I wish you and Jerome the best, Lydia. Truly,” he said with heartfelt sincerity. After all she’d been through, she deserved another chance at happiness.

“That means a lot to me, Tris. Thanks,” she replied, covering their joined hands with her free one. “Now let’s talk about you. Something has changed. You seem...happy, and you’ve smiled more this morning than you have in eight years.”

“That can’t be true. At least, I hope not.” Regrettably, she was probably right.

“You’ve always been here for us. Let me be here for you for once.”

“I’ve met someone, too,” he admitted.

“That’s great. Isn’t it? Are you afraid she won’t understand about us? I can talk to her.”

“No, it’s not that.” He sat back and rubbed his face, both hands going over his head to his neck to squeeze and rub away the tension.

“Oh no. The face and head rub, neck squeeze combination mean trouble.”

He froze midway through a second face rub and asked, “What?”

“You, my dear friend, have a tell. Spill.”

“You know me well, sweetheart, but maybe not everything. Did Nolan ever talk about me and growing up in Nebraska?”

“Just that you were best friends and practically inseparable since grade school.”

“I lost my father when I was eight. It was unbelievably rough. I thought the world of him and wanted to be a farmer like him when I grew up. After he was gone, the farm lost its luster. His parents passed not long after, which left my mom to run the farm. It was too much for her, so my granddad, her dad, moved in and helped. Having him around, not taking my dad’s place but filling a hole in my life, really helped. He and my mom both died the year I graduated from high school, both from cancer.”

“Oh my god, Tris. How awful.”

“Yeah. The one constant I had all that time was Nolan. He was the only family I had left. Eight years ago, his death nearly killed me. Mostly because it was my fault.”

“Stop saying that. You were cleared of wrongdoing. It was war.”

“I know that, but I was in command. I felt responsible, and still do. Nothing will change that. I watched what you went through. The heartache and grief, having to raise AJ alone. Your loss as a wife differed from mine as a best friend, but I took it hard.”

“Different doesn’t mean less.”

“I can’t forget the pain. I’ve lived it over and over. After Nolan, I vowed never to go through it again.”

“So, like me, you walled off your heart so you wouldn’t have to.”

He nodded. “Then I met this amazing woman who is beautiful, funny, and kind—like sunshine in human form. I resisted and acted like a complete ass trying to drive her away. But she gave as good as she got and broke through when I thought no one could.” Memories of Perry with a knife at Piper’s throat slammed into him. He swallowed hard before going on. “I came close to losing her to a psychopath two days ago. The pain and need to retreat behind those walls resurfaced with a vengeance.”

Lydia leaned forward and reached across the table to grip his forearms. “I felt something similar when I started dating Jerry. Less the psychopath, which sounds like a story for another time. I broke things off with him twice.”

“What did he do?”

“He dug in and refused to let go. I was unbelievably stubborn, almost surpassing you. But he said he would wait as long as it took. He was there when I finally convinced myself Nolan wouldn’t want me to be alone and miserable for the rest of my life.”

“I like him already. When do I get to meet him?”

“Anytime. Since you’re our only family, Jerry is eager to meet you, too. And I’d like to meet... What’s your girl’s name?”

“Piper.”

“That’s lovely.”

“She is.”

“She’s also special. I know because your face lights up when you talk about her.” Her fingers tightened, conveying the intensity of her emotions. “I’d endure all the pain and tears again just to have one more day with Nolan. The time I had with him was the happiest of my life. But we have an endless capacity for love and sharing mine with Jerry doesn’t diminish what Nolan and I shared. Don’t miss out on something special because you’re afraid it might someday slip away. It’s worth the risk, my dear friend. I promise.”

ON HIS WAY BACK, NEEDING time to process everything they’d discussed, he called Josie and asked if she could hang around longer. With her assurance that it was “no problem,” he exited in Ventura and headed to the best place on earth for soul-searching—the beach.

Emma Wood State Beach had consistent year-round surf with A-framed swells. The overhead, with the reef only 150 yards out, generated massive waves you could ride for what seemed like forever without breaks. And there he was without a board.

He could have rented but preferred to use his own boards. Instead, he found a relatively uncrowded spot and sat and watched the sunset. Mostly, he replayed Lydia’s words in his head. She was willing to risk her heart again because love and even a finite amount of happiness were worth it.

Until recently, he couldn’t see things from her perspective. He thought he was in love with Melissa. While they had a comfortable affection, it paled in comparison to what he and Piper shared.

The sun had dipped below the horizon when he stood, brushed off the sand, and returned to his truck. His decision made the answer in the end pretty easy. He couldn’t let her go.

Piper chased away the clouds and brought sunshine into his world. She made him laugh where no one else could with her quirky hometown expressions and a twinkle in her eyes when she teased him. The way she seamlessly fit into his life and lifestyle was perfect.

The walls around his heart were gone for the first time in years. Piper had helped him break free. Now, after all the bullshit he’d spewed about preferring to be a loner and not looking for permanence, he had to convince her he was ready to move forward—with her.