Two

Two

Max

Is this guy seriously offering to blow me to let my employee keep his job?

I glance at Rowan to find him giving the new guy a withering stare.

“Forgive him,” Rowan says. “This is my baby brother, Jude.”

Jude’s nose wrinkles. “Just say brother.”

“If you didn’t act so juvenile, I wouldn’t have to say you’re the baby.” Rowan’s response is quick, and he sounds just like he does when he speaks to Dominic. It’s as though Jude has been a part of his life all this time instead of having left so long ago.

Jude grunts in response before turning to me. “Just so you know, customer service ratings at this place would go way up if you didn’t take cigarettes from patrons and put them out in drinks.”

“Or they’ll remain high because I promise a smoke-free establishment, and customers expect that.” I can’t believe I’m sitting here arguing with this guy. And what’s worse is…heat is beginning to simmer in my stomach. I haven’t felt that since Patrick.

I swallow and try to push him from my mind. Patrick wouldn’t want me to still be depressed over him all this time later.

Jude’s studying me, one elbow propped on the bar, his chin in his hand. With a jolt, I realize he really would give me a blowjob if I asked for one. The thought sends the heat in my stomach lower, and my cheeks warm.

What the hell is wrong with me? I should not be this turned on by some asshole. Why am I finding him so attractive? And how can I stop?

“I think you need to get out of your office and have some fun,” Jude says. “You’re way too…tight.”

“Jude.” Rowan’s voice is firmer, his scowl deep. “That’s enough.”

Jude turns to Dominic. “Let’s go meet that fiancée of yours.”

Dominic glances at Rowan, like he’s checking to make sure he’s okay with it. When Rowan nods, Dominic stands and motions for Jude to follow him.

As soon as the door to the bar swings shut behind them, Rowan turns to me. “Sorry about that. I forgot what a mouth Jude has on him.”

I wouldn’t mind having his mouth on me. My jeans tighten, and I’ve never been so thankful to be sitting, the bar hiding my lap. I school my expression and return Rowan’s look. “In case it wasn’t obvious, I’m not firing you because of Jude.”

“Yeah, I know.” Rowan tosses a towel over his shoulder and starts stacking the dry glasses under the bar. “You’d never find someone who works as hard as I do.”

I nod, but my mind is back on Jude, on that smirk that quirked his lips up at the corner. And a part of me wishes I’d taken him up on that offer.

***

When the place starts filling up, I go back to my office. Papers remain spread out on my desk; numbers are doing really well for the bar. I might have to bring in a third bartender, but I’ll have to find one as good as Rowan and Delilah.

Maybe Jude’s looking for a job. He certainly looked comfortable propped up on the bar, that cigarette hanging from his lips. I try to imagine him behind the bar. Somehow, I don’t think he’d like taking orders too much.

The thought of him getting lippy, disobeying, sends a jolt of heat through my body, and I lean over my desk, trying to shove the image of a non-repentant Jude out of my head. But I can’t stop replaying his words in my mind. Why don’t you go out and get a blowjob? It’ll loosen you up.

What if I had said yes? How would it feel to have his soft lips wrapped around my dick, bobbing his head in time with the rhythm of my thrusts?

I start throbbing just thinking about it, and I reach down to unzip my fly, trying to ease some of the pressure. But that’s a fucking mistake because as soon as my knuckles brush over my cock, I nearly explode.

Fuck. Why the hell am I letting Jude get to me like this? Just because he has a smart mouth?

I grit my teeth and try to tamp it down. It’s not just that. It’s because he made me feel something after so fucking long of not feeling anything. I thought I’d never be attracted to another guy again after I lost Patrick two years ago. I haven’t been excited, haven’t felt the need. And now…

I cast my eyes up to make sure the door is locked, then I free my cock from my boxers and grip it tight, no longer trying to push the image of Jude on his knees in front of me from my mind. I lean back in my chair and close my eyes.

Quickly, I swipe my thumb over the precum that’s already gathered and use it to slide up and down. My spine is rigid, and my legs are starting to shake. Fuck, I haven’t felt like this since…

My eyes pop open again as shame courses through my body. The logical part of me knows Patrick would just want me to be happy, but I don’t know how I’m supposed to do that. Not when thinking about Jude brings all the guilt back in.

But it’s just been so long…

My hand shakes as I work it up and down my shaft until that heat I’ve been craving builds, making my body thrum with want. Tingles erupt at the base of my spine; my balls tighten almost painfully.

I squeeze my eyes shut as I lose my mind and explode, cum shooting up and on the underside of my desk.

As I come back down from the high, my heart’s racing. My breathing is so loud and quick.

When the heat starts subsiding, the guilt slams back into me like a freight train. Two years doesn’t feel like enough to have mourned someone fully. There are days where I still reach for my phone to text Patrick before I remember he’s no longer there to read it.

Disgusted, I zip back up and get to work cleaning the desk. Then I head to my private bathroom and splash some water on my face to cool my skin.

Ever since Patrick died, I’ve had a hard time knowing what to do, but this time I’m certain.

I need to stay away from Jude.