Chapter 31

Chapter Thirty-One

GRANDMOTHER KNOWS BEST

" Y ou have certainly taken your time." His grandmother raised an eyebrow at him as Dominic walked into the room.

His heart skittered to a halt, panic flaring in his chest. He tried to keep his face nonchalant. "Pardon?"

"I expected to see you at least an hour or two ago." The Dowager Duchess gestured to a clock on the wall.

"I was told you were engaged until now." Dominic frowned.

"Pffft, and when has that ever stopped you before?" His grandmother waved a dismissive hand.

Dominic flushed and straightened himself. "If you are referring to that occasion when I was a boy, need I remind you that I was only ten."

"Well, regardless, I should have thought you would see me before now." His grandmother was idly stroking Venus, who was dozing beside her, snoring softly.

"And why is that?" Dominic asked.

His grandmother looked at him as though he were a simpleton, and Dominic felt his heart sink. Has Lady Andrea already told her? I thought I would have more time.

"Your fiancée left hours ago, did she not? I would have thought you would be here as soon as you could to make your own excuses." The Dowager Duchess made a disgusted sound at his obvious stupidity.

Dominic felt his colour deepen and tugged at the collar of his shirt. "Ah, yes. About that…"

"I like her. You have chosen well." The Dowager Duchess smiled at him.

"I am glad you approve." He smiled back. Will you still approve when I tell you the truth about our arrangement?

"I am very much looking forward to your wedding. Have you given much thought as to where it will be? I notice you have not done anything like the reading of the banns, so I assume you plan to marry by special license or —"

Before his grandmother could continue on the subject of his marriage, Dominic burst out, "We are not engaged."

There was a moment of silence, and Dominic prepared himself for his grandmother's anger. Her face was unreadable, her tone completely neutral as she asked, "What do you mean you are not engaged?"

"I… We… Well, when I told you I was engaged at the ball… I was not being entirely truthful. I just… I wanted a chance to participate in the games," Dominic mumbled.

"A chance at my fortune more like," his grandmother scoffed.

"Yes," he admitted. "And it seemed unfair I should not have such a chance just because of my status. And well, by chance Charlotte and I met, and well, we came to an agreement that suited us very well. Though I am sorry that I have lied to you." He ran a hand through his hair, doing his best to look earnestly embarrassed and genuinely apologetic.

After all, he did regret lying to his grandmother.

"You are forgiven," she said.

"Thank you." He gave her a relieved look. "Truly, Grandmama."

"Psssht." His grandmother made a dismissive noise. "I confess this explains rather a lot."

Dominic frowned at her. "What do you mean?"

"I suspected that you were not what you seemed when you both arrived, but I liked Lady Charlotte, and she seemed a good influence on you." His grandmother gave him a mischievous smile. "Truly, you cannot have thought you would fool me so easily."

"You knew?" He gaped at her.

"Of course, I knew, foolish boy. You inherited your father's ability to lie which is to say none whatsoever." She gave him a frank look.

"I am not that bad a liar." Dominic could remember very little of his father, but he could remember how easy it was to tell when the man was uttering falsehoods. "I do not change colour when I lie for starters."

"Do not disagree with your elders. Besides, what I want to know is why you have decided to tell me now. You have both led a rather convincing charade. Indeed, it has only become more convincing the longer you have been here." His grandmother searched his face as if she could glean the answer there.

Dominic swallowed. "Circumstances have forced my hand. And in truth, even if they had not, I would have wanted to tell you the truth."

"Why?" she asked.

He took a deep breath. It is time to be truthful. "Because somewhere along the way, I… well… it stopped being pretend, at least for me. And it is important to me that you get to know the truth of things if I am to try and make her a part of this family."

"You mean to say you care for her?" The Dowager Duchess looked at him, the corners of her lips quirking upwards.

"More than that, Grandmother, I love her." The words left his mouth before he could stop them, and his chest squeezed uncomfortably. "Goodness but that is rather terrifying to admit. I love her. I love Charlotte."

"You say it like it is a bad thing." His Grandmother canted her head towards him.

"Of course, it is a bad thing! You know what love did to my mother." He shook his head, the pain and excitement swirling in his chest. "How could I put someone else through that? To put Charlotte through that or indeed myself. I could not bear it, not again."

"Firstly, Charlotte is not your mother. And secondly it was not love that made your mother act as she did. Or at least not entirely."

"What else can it have been? She was so in love with father, and when he died, it broke her. How often did I come upon her trying to make herself ill? Or having swallowed laudanum or some other such thing." All the times he had found his mother coughing her lungs out, throwing herself at sick people, or unconscious on the floor, reeking of laudanum, played as he said it, and he shook.

His grandmother put a gentle hand on his arm, but he could not quite meet her gaze as he said, "Her mind was utterly destroyed by his death. And she spent the rest of her days trying to join him.

"And yet not everyone who is widowed so completely loses themselves. I am not one to speak ill of the dead, but I would have you remember, dear boy, that I have outlived not one but three husbands." His grandmother squeezed his arm and then gently forced him to look at her, a sharp rebuke on her face. "Or do you mean to imply that my love for them was not as deep as the affection your mother had for your father."

"I… No, of course not." Dominic shook his head.

"Because let me assure you that I loved each of my husbands with everything that I am. I adored them, and when each man passed, my heart broke. Yet I carried on." Venus woke at the catch in her voice, ears perking anxiously. Dominic saw the look of pain on his grandmother's face and realised that she truly had loved each of her three husbands.

It was easy to forget, especially as she had had so many. Besides, he had rarely given his grandmother's love life a huge amount of thought —after all, she was his grandmother. But perhaps I should have.

The Dowager Duchess Caverton continued speaking, a soft fondness creeping into her voice even as it mingled with pain. "My husbands were each a great love, but the children they gave me… they were just as important. And I would not wish to abandon them."

"But…" Dominic began, but his grandmother held up a hand to silence him.

She shook her head and said, "There are no ‘buts' dear boy; love is not something to be feared. I have known great pain, yes, and even greater joy. In all my long life, I would not have shirked loving any of those men."

"Even if you had known they would die?" Dominic asked, feeling as though there were a vice around his chest.

"Especially if I had known that. It would have made me treasure each moment with them even more than I already did." The Dowager Duchess gave him a small, sad smile. "Life is far too short to live without love, and it is far, far better to have loved, even for the shortest of time, than to never love at all."

"I do not want to hurt Charlotte. I could not bear causing her that pain." Dominic imagined his mother, but this time it was Charlotte, and he felt his heart break again.

"And what makes you think that you will?" his grandmother asked him as Venus gently nuzzled his hand.

"I… I could die. Or she could," Dominic replied. Would it be worse to face the world without her? To be so destroyed like my mother was? What if we had children? Could I put them through that?

"So could any of us. None of us knows what tomorrow will likely bring, so we might as well seize the day," his grandmother said.

"I do not know what to do," Dominic murmured.

"Well, what do you want to do?" the Dowager Duchess asked, her gaze holding his.

"I would like to make Charlotte my wife. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. To love her and grow old with her," Dominic said, feeling conviction growing within his chest.

"Then you know what you have to do." His grandmother released his hand, looking like a cat who had gotten into the cream.

"I do." Dominic nodded. I need to get to London. "I assume this means I have forfeited my place in the games?"

"Not at all, dear boy. You certainly will not be the grand prize winner, but I doubt you will leave completely empty handed. After all, you know how I value honesty." The Dowager Duchess pursed her lips thoughtfully, a playful glint in her eyes. "Perhaps you will have better luck at the next games."

"The next games?" Dominic canted his head towards her.

"Oh yes. I have decided to make this an annual affair," his grandmother said nonchalantly as though she were discussing nothing more important than the weather.

"Then you are not dying?" Dominic asked.

"Of course not! At least not yet anyway," the Dowager Duchess laughed.

"So what on Earth was this entire thing for?" He gestured around them, running a hand through his hair in frustration.

"My own amusement, mostly, and of course, love." Her eyes sparkled with delight.

"So, you were playing the matchmaker!" he exclaimed. Thomas was right.

His cousin had seen through her plot and left, and here Dominic was thinking he had pulled the wool over her eyes when in fact the reverse was true. I do not know whether to laugh or shout. Relief that his grandmother was not dying fought with frustration and amusement at her meddling ways.

"Of course, I was! Which is why I did not want a rake in attendance." His grandmother gave him a pointed look, but he could see the amusement and affection in her face.

"I think you will find, Grandmama, that I am a reformed rake." He winked at her and swept into a bow.

"Good. Now get out of my sight." She gestured towards the door, grinning broadly.

"Of course, Grandmama." Dominic smiled at his grandmother and then added, "If you are giving out prizes, perhaps you might consider giving one to Lady Andrea?"

"Lady Andrea? And why do you care what happens to that young woman?" His grandmother seemed genuinely puzzled.

"Because she has done me a good turn, and she deserves the same," Dominic said simply. "Besides, I am quite sure she must have been quite high up in terms of points."

"In truth, I've no idea. I shall have to ask Whitby or Whitson for the scores. I have not been keeping them myself." The Dowager Duchess laughed softly. "But I shall think on what you have said and will consider it."

"Thank you." Dominic turned away from his grandmother, but as he did so, a thought occurred to him. "Actually, there is another thing I should ask of you, Grandmama."

"Another?" His grandmother raised an eyebrow at him.

"Yes." Dominic nodded, and as he explained what he needed from his grandmother, her smile told him that she would happily grant it.

When they were done speaking, she dismissed him once more, and he made his way as swiftly as he could to the stables. He needed to get to London, but before that, he had one last thing to tidy up.

"Wait for me, Charlotte. I am coming, and I love you," Dominic whispered, praying that he had not already ruined his chances.