78. Jax

78

Jax

Anna was throwing up again. I'd slept fitfully next to her, wishing desperately that she would curl up in my arms like she used to, but neither one of us had been able to relax. We both woke up at dawn, and in some desperation to feel normal, I'd ordered breakfast for us. We barely talked while we ate, and the tension was about to drive me insane. I knew she was frustrated with me, but I just couldn't tell her the truth. Not until I knew how to explain it to her.

Whether it was the baby or the chasm between us, but one minute she was eating her toast and the next she was racing to the bathroom and hurling. Standing outside of it, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the pain tightening in my chest. This was supposed to be my time to shine. To get her whatever she needed, to rub her feet and assure her that I still found her sexy despite being all pale and sweaty. To tell her that she was amazing for growing a baby shifter inside of her.

I wanted to be a father. I wanted to love this baby, to plan for a future, but Maeve and her fucking plan had stolen all of that from me. Instead, I was standing there with clenched fists trying to decide how to tell her that I wanted her to get a fucking abortion.

Fuck, I couldn't even formulate the words.

"Can I get you some water," I finally asked hoarsely. Smooth, Alpha.

"No," she said roughly. "You should probably just leave. This might be awhile, and I know that it's not pretty."

Stay. Comfort her. Help her.

"Go, Jax," she sighed. "I know you want to. Elonso is here, and London is due today. I'm sure you have stuff to go. It's just morning sickness. You don't need to worry, assuming you are worried."

I was worried, but not about her vomiting. "Saul mentioned that you haven't gone to see him yet. He's ordered that you visit so he can make sure that you are healthy. And that the um…."

"Baby is healthy?" She finished. "Jesus, Jax, you can't even say the word? Are you really so scared of bonding with it that you can't acknowledge it? We need to work through this."

I didn't want to let her keep thinking that was the problem, but it was easier than telling her the truth. "Fine, see Saul and then join us. He's clearing his schedule so he can do the full work-up."

She started dry heaving again, and I left and headed to my office. Elonso and his men were sleeping late to make up for the two nights they hadn't slept, so I had a few hours to catch-up on mundane pack stuff. Kenzi was taking over security so Jenson could be more at my side, and I still had distribution lists to okay, keeping in mind that we were entering the winter, and the roads would be covered in snow and ice soon. There were hierarchy challenges to schedule and juvenile hunts to organize. The normal stuff helped ground me and whittle away the hours.

London and his men arrived in the same filthy and bloodied manner that Elonso and his men had. His men were sent to the barracks as soon as they arrived, but London had opted to meet us in one of my meeting rooms where I was gathered with Elonso, Lunessa, Jenson, and Evalina. London's stench hit me before he walked in.

"London!" Lunessa gasped and ran to him, stopping short. "What happened to you?"

"I lost two men is what happened," he said grimly. "The rogues have lost their fucking minds. When this is all over, I have half a mind to cull them."

My heart sank. Two more good wolves dead because of Maeve. This nightmare needed to end.

"Do you need to shift or visit the healer?" I asked grimly.

"No. None of this blood is mine."

Lunessa took a step back, and her annoyance was clear. "But you still chose to come straight here when it would have taken you all of ten minutes to rinse off and change?"

Gripping the hem of his bloodied black t-shirt, London ripped it off and stared at her. "Better, Princess?"

"I was showing concern," she snapped back.

"And it's none of your business what state I'm in, remember? I get to do as I please, just as you get to do as you please, like walk off my property with my witch and not tell anyone about it. I've heard no updates on Ava. Is she even alive?"

"Your precious witch is fine. She's been researching spells for Amelia." Turning, Lunessa flounced back to her place next to Evalina.

The older witch lifted an eyebrow. "I hadn't realized that the two of you were so familiar with each other," she said casually. "It seems more is going on right beneath my nose than I even anticipated. Care to fill an old witch in?"

"It's nothing," Lunessa and London both said at the same time and glared at each other. As if that would abate the woman's curiosity. She looked at me, and I shrugged. London still hadn't opened up to me about how he knew the witch or why they were always sniping at each other. But we had bigger problems.

"You came from the North. Do you think more rogues have gathered or are they just more organized?" I asked as I handed London one of the clean shirts from my stash. He tossed his bloodied shirt out in the hall and accepted mine.

"Hard to say," he said tiredly. "It's not like we've ever taken a consensus, but I will say that the activity seems concentrated within five miles of your border. We didn't run into any issues until last night. I'm gonna chalk that up to the large group we were traveling in, but they are certainly more organized. The first group surrounded us and hit us on all sides. I lost my two wolves instantly. From there, we had to fight to keep them from herding us away from your borders. They definitely had clear orders to not let us enter, and they're big mother fuckers. I'd estimate that some of them were about two times the size they should be. Strong, but slow and clumsy. They've definitely taken some form of the serum."

"I thought the same," Elonso echoed. "But we only hit one group within two miles of the border. It wasn't relentless."

Jenson nodded. "That makes sense. London and Jax have always been allies. It makes sense that Maeve would know and anticipate London's arrival, but Elonso is still a wild card. She hadn't anticipated losing Emerson, and she's struggling to put a plan together that would count for her losing the alliance with the Snake River pack."

I let that sink it. "Maeve has had every move planned out. She's had witches looking into the future for years. Why wouldn't they see that?"

"Maybe they were deliberately keeping her from it," Elonso said with a shrug. "I can't imagine even the witches are loving the idea of one alpha controlling all the wolves."

Evalina shook her head. "They couldn't see it," she murmured. "I have a powerful sight, but all I could see was glimpses. I couldn't even see Maeve, and I suspected part of it was because I was a key player, but I also think it's my connection to Anna. Her null talents were blocking me from seeing the big picture. The other witches are only seeing the big picture. They can't see any events directly surrounding Anna because she's blocking them. She was there for Emerson's death."

"Not just there," Elonso said with a hint of admiration in his voice. "She caused it. The only reason she didn't land the killing blow was because she trusted me enough to do it so I could seize control."

"Yes. His loyal second," London said coolly. "Who didn't need to be under his control. He trusted you, and I would wager that Emerson didn't trust anyone."

I tensed. Where was London going with this? We were supposed to be creating an alliance, and he looked like he was about to lay an accusation.

"And you arrived a day early. Care to explain that?" London continued. "Maybe you were already on your way when Jax called and asked for this meeting."

Elonso remained relaxed. "You're posturing. Why don't you just ask me what's really on your mind."

"Fine. Did you arrive a day early on purpose?"

"Yes."

Fuck. Jenson's eyes flashed silver as his wolf rose to the surface. Mine was also on full alert. "Why," London asked softly.

Elonso smiled. "In case I needed to do what none of you seem capable of doing and kill Anna Kipling."