74. Anna

74

Anna

Jax never returned to the room. After feeling like an idiot waiting around for him, I headed out late morning to the dining hall. Because of the hour, it was mostly empty, but I got some oatmeal, an apple, and some juice. Sitting at the table, I prayed that no one would join me and ask why I was eating without my mate. We hadn't shared a single meal since he'd returned.

Luckily, everyone was obsessed about the baby, so no one even noticed that Jax wasn't there. The few people in the hall flocked to me and asked me a million questions that I wasn't ready to answer. Fake it until you make it, right? Jax and I totally had been talking names, and we were absolutely looking at a baby shower registry. Obviously, we know that we need to do that early since it takes time to get baby items into the territory, especially since we were about to face the long winter.

And yeah, me being pregnant was totally a sign that Maeve wasn't a real threat. Babies were the obvious signs of happily ever after.

By the time I left the pack, I felt a little sick, and it had nothing to do with morning sickness. Everyone was so nice to me, which I was still trying to get used to, but also, everyone was so excited for the baby, except for the father of the child.

Irene's cottage was empty, which perplexed me. Lunessa and Evalina had spent most of their waking moments with Irene, so where else would they be? On a whim, I sat down by her cottage, tried to identify Irene's magic soaking in the ground beneath it and identify it elsewhere in the pack. Surprise, surprise, all I could do was see the colors of the small magic traps she'd placed near her home. They didn't do anything except let her know someone was outside her cottage.

Thankfully, that worked out in my favor. While I was still meditating, my phone rang. "Are you looking for me?" Irene asked. "I'm in the library with Lunessa and Amelia."

"Perfect. I was actually looking for Lunessa. Wait, the library? I thought you'd raided all the appropriate books and were hoarding them in your cottage."

"We're trying a different track," she said vaguely. "Evalina isn't with us, so it was the perfect time to research it."

"Why…"

"We're on a bit of a time crunch. I'll text you when we're done!"

I snarled as she hung up. Jokes on her. I wasn't even looking for her. And now I was curious. I found the three of them huddled over a single book on the table and muttering to themselves.

"This isn't suspicious at all," I said when they didn't lift their heads when I walked in. "And also concerning. What if I was Evalina? Or someone else you didn't want to learn whatever you're cooking up now. Like, me apparently. As the lynch pin to Maeve's evil plan, I'm offended. I feel like I should be key to whatever plan you're cooking."

Their heads snapped up with panic in their eyes. "Okay," I said slowly. "Now I'm wondering if the three of you have jumped ship and are working for Maeve, although huddling together suspiciously is not a good start."

"I said I'd hang out with you later," Irene said as she stood. "This isn't sinister. It's just boring. Complete yawn fest."

"Uh-huh. If you hadn't hung up on me, you'd know that I wasn't looking for you. I was looking for Lunessa."

The Maiden popped her head up and plastered a smile on her face. "Irene is right. I'm bored to tears. Let's go for a walk."

"Yes to the walk." Strutting over to the table, I deliberately leaned over to the book. "But right after you tell me what the hell is happening here."

The print was so small it took a second for me to realize what I was reading. "Wolf magic? Why would you hide this from me? I'm half wolf. Or a third wolf? No, it definitely feels like I'm half wolf."

Amelia cleared her throat. "Look, I'm just going to say it. They've been focusing on your witch magic, but it sounds like it's not the most successful endeavor. You said it yourself, you're half wolf. I think we need to focus on your wolf magic and your Fae magic to combat whatever Maeve is throwing at you."

I started idly flipping the pages. "Look, I was the first one to say that witchcraft was not my forte. I definitely think we need to focus on strengths, and nothing is stronger than my…wolf…what the hell is this?"

They fell silent, and my hands shook. I couldn't believe what I was reading. "Amelia?"

"It's a midnight hour solution, Anna," she said finally. "We don't even know if it's possible."

"It's not possible. It can't be possible. You can't just separate a wolf from a shifter. This is amputation. This is murder. It says right here that the wolf would most likely not survive without the host."

"Let's take that walk now, Anna. You've gone unnaturally pale, and I'm worried about the baby."

Ignoring Lunessa, I stared at Amelia. The others were witches. They didn't know what it was like to share their bodies with another entity, but Amelia knew exactly what it felt like. She would never give up her wolf. How could she suggest that I do the same?

"I don't want you to die, Anna," she whispered. "I don't want to lose you."

I pointed to the book. "This is not the way. You know that. Come up with something else."

Only then did I let Lunessa take my hand and walk me outside. We didn't speak for a full five minutes before she finally sighed. "Anna…"

"I'm not talking about this," I interrupted. "But I do need to talk to you. About what happened when you and Jax were at the cult."

"I thought we went through all of that."

"No, not about me being the ternary or whatever. I mean what did Jax experience? He came back different. Something had to have happened."

"What do you mean, different?"

"I mean he doesn't spend time with me. He wants to hide me away instead of facing this with me. He doesn't…" my voice broke. "He barely acknowledges the baby. I know these are uncertain times, dangerous times, but this is his child. There isn't a single drop of joy in him. I know he wants a family. There was a time in our relationship when I might wonder if he doesn't want a child with me, but we're past that. We're someplace good. Aren't we? Did something happen?"

Lunessa looked at me for a long time, and I held my breath. She seemed to be working through something, but I had no idea what she was thinking. Finally, she sighed. "Anna, you know that Jax and I played a couple at the compound, and we were under strict surveillance. We were close."

"Oh my God," I snarled but shook my head. "No, I'm sorry. I know that neither one of you would hurt me like that. Continue."

"So, you already know the point that I want to make, which is that I know firsthand how much Jax loves you. Everything he did in that compound, every second he spent, was about keeping you safe. I wasn't always with him, but I know there were things said about you that no doubt made him sick to his stomach, and he's facing the real possibility of losing you. You know that, right?"

"Yeah, of course."

Turning, she took my hand. "Anna, I know you're worried about Jax's reaction to the baby, but I'm worried about your reaction to this. Your life is in danger. All of our lives are in danger, and you're walking about like it's another Tuesday!"

"You think I'm not worried? Finn is facing the darkest moment of his life. The sister that he just met could be dead any minute. Anyone who leaves the territory might be shredded to pieces by rogues under Maeve's control, and I'm waiting for someone to try to kidnap me." Just in case she really thought I was joking, I reached into my pocket and pulled out my taser. "Like, seriously waiting. I'm more than ready."

Lunessa cracked a small smile. "All right, so you are taking this seriously."

"Every morning that I wake up, I wonder if this is the last day that I'll be alive, because the eleventh-hour solution isn't going to be ripping my wolf away from me. It's going to be killing me. I won't let Maeve use me, but until that happens, I need to focus on the joy I have today. I have a mate, Lunessa. Me, who thought I might never survive my father. He loves me, and I love him. Love is never something I thought I might have, and now I have a baby. I could be a mother."

"Could be?" Lunessa echoed.

"I'm likely to die before I give birth," I admitted, and then I stopped. "Shit, that's what Jax is thinking too, isn't it?"

"Oh, Anna."

I felt like such an idiot. "You're right. He's worried I'm not taking this seriously, and I'm obsessing about whether or not he wants this child. Of course he wants this child. I need to go talk to him. Do you know where he is?"

"Preparing for the other alphas, I believe."

"The other alphas? What are you talking about?"

"London and Elonso are coming here. I think they'll both be here by tomorrow."

With a frown, I pulled out my phone to see if I had a missed call or message from him. There was nothing. "How do you know that?"

"He texted me." She caught the look on my face and hesitated. "Probably wanted to let me know that London was coming. We don't always get along."

"Yeah." I put my phone away and forced a smile. "You should go back to your research, but I'll die before I let someone take my wolf."

"That may be the choice," Lunessa said quietly. "You or your wolf."