34. Holter

"Sure, Belle."My heart races. My mom. Not Nico's mother—my mother too.

Belle pulls Nico along, and I follow her into the library. Eros hasn't moved from next to Atlas. "Eros?" I call to him.

"It's okay," he says.

"No, we're a pod. It's not okay." I cock my head to beckon him in.

He smiles, but it doesn't reach his eyes, and he comes in. "We're going to be a minute." He shuts the door a lot more carefully this time.

"What is it, Belle? What did you find?" My heart thumps.

"I think it's better if you read it yourself." She pushes a piece of paper across the table. Belle's careful handwriting is on the page. She already found one thing from my mother that shook me to the core. I can't imagine what more it could be. Nico's taken a seat at the table, and I read over his shoulder. He's gotten a head start on me because I've spent time looking at Belle. Her blue eyes are glistening. I haven't even started reading the words on the page when Nico's shoulders shake. And I have to peer around the side of him. He's almost crying. Now I'm not sure I want to read it. He picks it up and hands it to me.

My chest stops moving. I'm not sure I even know how to breathe. My legs shake. I've faced death ten times over. I've dealt with what I thought was losing my mate forever. But this hits so hard I sink into the nearest chair. Nico's golden eyes shimmer with water. He hasn't spilled a tear, but he's close. I'm not close. I'm crying.

I stand and pull Belle to my chest. She's given me a mother. She's given me more than I could ever hope for in my life. Nico's on the other side of her. His nose is in her hair. Then he pulls on Eros until we surround Belle completely. Belle's crying. Her chest hiccups against mine.

"I'm sorry. I know we have a lot going on. But I couldn't not tell you about it." Belle sniffs.

"Shh, this is the best thing ever. Thank you." Nico kisses the top of her head. "But Atlas doesn't get to see this part." Nico puts his finger on the personal message to our family, our fathers, Salvatore and Pietro. Alder talked about them growing up, but Muster didn't. He cut all of that from his past, our past. But no more. I will celebrate with them. I lift my head from Belle. Nico's staring at me.

Belle kisses my cheek. "Are you okay? Both of you?"

"I'm better than I could ever imagine. But forgive me when I say I'm going to tear this city down until I find who killed our mother," I growl.

"You will have to stand behind me, brother," Nico says.

"No, we will stand together," Eros says. "We will find him, or them, together."

Eros closes the front door behind Michio, Atlas, and Forrest. Forrest and Michio are off the suspect list, and Atlas has assured us that they will not be brought in for questioning. Atlas also took the bag of stolen blocks. They're out of our hands, and I'm damn glad.

"We can't stay here any longer," I say. "I'm not feeding Belle another meal of canned stewed fish."

"Yes," Eros says. "Let's go home. You too, Drakos."

The omada ride back to Glyden is a hell of a lot less nerve-racking, but long. By the time we're in the elevator heading down, it doesn't even occur to me that Castor hasn't pushed the button to go up until Nico crosses his arms over his chest and says, "Curfew is over. You can go home."

"I am home."

"I vetoed you."

"Yes, but you're not going to change your mind if I'm upstairs and you're on the seabed."

"True. Go home." Nico's tone isn't as dark as I would have expected.

Belle cocks her head. "Nico. It's been a long day—days? I've lost track. We're all tired. Just let him come in. He's right. You need to see his face to think about what we talked about."

Nico growls. He stands in front of Castor. "Do you have any food upstairs?"

"In my apartment? No, I hadn't planned on being there," Castor replies. We all know he could easily have a five-course dinner with his parents any day.

"Fine. He can stay for food." Nico moves through the apartment to the back hallway. The sooner we get Nico to stop being so damn frustrating... I pause. This is the definition of a paradox. I glance at the kitchen.

"I'll make something. Go talk to Commander Crankypants." Eros moves around the counter.

Belle follows me, but I shake my head. "Let me talk to him." And by talk, I'm considering using my fists instead of words.

The shower is already running, so I just strip my clothes off. I've been in enough scuffles with Nico. I'm not giving him something to hold on to.

"What?" He turns. But it's not what I expect, not at all. There's water on his face—and not from the shower.

"Are you?—"

"Shut up."

"Right." I nod and turn on the other shower head, pretending like I wasn't coming in here to give him a talking to. He lets the water run over his shoulders, not moving.

"You want to talk about it?" I know the answer is a resounding no. But if Belle has taught me anything, it's that you have to ask or you don't get the answer you're looking for.

"I try not to think about her."

Now I'm the ass because I know the "her" he's talking about is Richeal, but I can't stop myself from saying, "Who?"

"Mother. Our mother. She's your mother too. And my whole damn life, I thought of her as only my mother. And that was fucking wrong. And if I was wrong about that, what else have I been wrong about?"

"Nico. You're a good brother. You were a good commander. We're both the way we are because our society is fucked. The fact that you can realize it... yeah. You're okay."

"Alder did the best he could. Muster too. They did the best they knew how in their grief." Nico looks at the ground and back at me. "And you turned out better."

I bite back the "true" on my lips. "What else do you think you're wrong about?" I'm pushing. Belle doesn't want me to say it. But then it's just a question.

He turns and walks out of the shower without taking a towel. I grab a couple, following him out, jogging to keep up with his long strides.