43. Chapter 41 Jarrah

Chapter forty-three

Chapter 41: Jarrah

I 'm laying on my bed reading when a knock sounds at the door. I shuffle across the room, and open it, expecting to find Zorvan. My stomach flips, when I find Arden on the other side.

"Hi," I breathe.

"Hey. Can I come in?"

"Yes, please, of course," I say and step back, allowing her to enter.

She walks in and glances around before coming to a stop and facing me. She sucks in a deep breath and stares at the ceiling.

"I'm ready to stop being angry. I think."

"Okay..." I say hesitantly. "I think I understand why you were upset, but..."

"I know. There were a lot of things that I was upset about. I've gone over some of the major ones. You don't understand what it was like there. I hope you never are in a place where you have to understand what I went through, you know?

"When I got back and found you all here...I just expected that at least a couple of you would be out looking for me. So my relief at seeing you all was overwritten by my frustration that you were all safe here in the castle—well, expect Emyth—and I was in that hellhole." She takes a deep breath, but she isn't finished, so I stay quiet.

"If I could do it all over again, I would have fought for you to come with me to Kildara. I think if all of you had been there, I would have had a better chance of staying safe. And for a little while I resented you for choosing to stay here instead of coming with us.

"I think it was inevitable that Cyndair was going to get me, but the way it happened...Well, it shouldn't have happened that way. And part of it was my fault and I own that. But every single one of us is culpable.

"Zorvan for sending me away. You, Rupert, and Emyth for not coming with us. Tavin, Lysander, and Liv for not keeping a better eye on me. Me for leaving their sides. Nev for taking me. Tirphal, Walden, Iona...So many people are to blame. But the person who deserves my wrath is Cyndair. So that's where I'm focusing it. I'm gathering the others and we're meeting in the strategy room. We need to get prepared for what's about to happen."

"Believe me when I tell you that we were all going mad without you here. If you had been gone much longer, the entire kingdom would have fallen to ruin. Nev only told us yesterday that you had been taken by Cyndair. He had tried to figure out a way to get you back on his own, but eventually he realized he needed help. And he risked his life coming here to get it.

"I'm not saying that you can't be mad, but just know that we were doing everything we could with the information that we had."

She nods. "I know. But it doesn't change the fact that I spent weeks there. I prayed every day to a god that I don't believe in that you all would come and save me. I dreamed about it. But it never happened."

"There's no way that I can make up for what you went through. And there's no way that I can make up for not saving you. But I will do everything I can to prove to you every day that I love you."

Her full, pouty lips part, and her breath hitches. This shouldn't be new information for her, but she seems surprised.

"Jarrah..." she says in protest, but the rest of her thought never surfaces.

My hands need something to keep them occupied so I don't pull her into my arms and fuck her so hard she sees stars. I begin pulling my hair up into a bun on the top of my head. "When we first met, I wondered why you were fated to me. It was even more perplexing when I found out that you were fated to Zorvan as well. But now..." I step toward her.

She takes a half a step back, but stops herself from retreating further. I don't blame her for moving away from me. I am a predator. Once she plants her feet on the floor, I move close enough that I can touch her.

"Now that I know you, I realize that you're the only one who makes sense; for any of us, even Camus," I say, rolling my eyes. I place my hands on either side of her face, and the warm buzz of our bond works its way into my skin.

"Jarrah," she whispers, again she's trying to put distance between us. Her bright blue eyes stare up at me, and

"Shut up," I growl and wrap her legs around my waist and slam my mouth down onto hers.

She whimpers into my mouth, and I grin at the sound as my erection grows against the apex of her thighs. I carry her over to the bed and lay her down on her back. I break the kiss so I can look at her. There's want and need in her gaze, but there's a small amount of reservation there too.

"We really need to get to the strategy room," she says. "And I don't know if I'm at a point where I'm okay with this."

"I won't fuck you until you're ready. I screwed that up once before. But Stars if I don't want to make you stay here with me for the rest of the day and make you scream my name over and over."

My confession makes her pant as she grinds herself against me, making me groan.

"Keep that up and I'll come in my pants. Which would be really embarrassing. I haven't done that since I was a cub."

She grinds against me again, and I press my forehead to hers. "A little embarrassment keeps you humble," she says mischievously. She bucks her hips against mine and tips her head back with a moan. "I forgot how big you were."

"I can't wait to remind you properly," I say and press against her desperate for friction.

She gasps. "Jarrah, we really need to get to the strategy room, and I still need to get Zorvan." Soft moans escape her between words.

"Why did you have to come into my room?" I ask with a breathless chuckle. "Now I'm going to be frustrated for days while you can just go fuck your new mate."

"That does seem a little unfair, doesn't it?" she responds with a devious smile. "What if I made you wait as long as I was in Solardin?"

"You wouldn't," I say, staring down at her through narrow eyes.

"You underestimate me," she says playfully. "One day down; seventy one more to go."

"Is that really how long you were gone?" I ask, the ache in my heart opening back up. It had dulled since she came home.

"Around there. I lost track around fifty five."

"I'm so sorry."

She gives me a sad smile. "Let's get ready for the meeting."

I nod and push off the bed before helping her to her feet. "It's a meeting you are calling, by the way. You and Zorvan aren't even mated yet and you're acting like a queen."

"There is no ‘yet.' We're not going to be mated. And once this stuff with Cyndair is done, I'm done with him."

"I just thought..."

"He's never wanted me, Jarrah."

"That's not true. He's wanted you since—"

"It. Was. The. Bond."

"Arden..."

She hold her hand up, in a silent request for me to stop. "I don't want to talk about him anymore. I just want to get to a place where I'm not upset with you and the others, get my mom and dad back, get Cyndair dealt with—whatever that looks like—and be able to live my life the way I was meant to live it.

"While we do all of that, we'll have more time to sort out the particulars about what all seven of us being together is going to look like. You and the other keepers and Livarius can get to know Camus. I can figure out my magic. Once everything is safe, we can all ride off into the sunset together and actually get to enjoy each other's company."

She steps toward the door. "I've gotta go get Zorvan. When you're ready, meet us in the strategy room."

"I will," I say and take her hand in mine. "Everything will work out, Artie. We'll make it through all of this."

"I know we will. With you all by my side, I have no doubts that we can handle anything thrown our way."

I squeeze her hand. She would be even stronger and more protected with Zorvan by her side. But for now, the rest of us will have to be enough.

Despite all of his flaws and all of his mistakes, I just want Zorvan to be happy. And despite what she thinks, I know he wants her. Now if only he could get out of his own damn way.