Chapter 20

Mia

I smile at the bracelet Kiara gave me the morning we left Chicago last week. It’s been a few days since, and the energy between Ares and I have shifted. I can’t say if it was him defending me or opening up to me about fatherhood, but…I’m falling hard. I’ve never been obsessed with the idea of having children, I just always knew I’d become a mother one day, but with him, the idea of creating this life made of his DNA and mine is like looking at a treasure you’ll never get to touch.

I’m falling in love with my husband and I’m petrified at the idea that he’s not.

He does like me. He’s joking about having kids with me, but love?

I told him that I needed to be reassured to stay…

But he didn’t reply, didn’t say the magical word that would have changed everything. It’s silly, I’m well aware, and action is worth more than a hundred words… and yet sometimes words do matter. So much. Ares is a man of action. He’s all force, strength, and not afraid to get his hand dirty and swap his suit for a blooded shirt.

So why couldn’t he say the words I needed him so badly to say?

Will it be our marriage?

Friendship? Companionship?

It could be worse but…

I want him, I want us, I want… more.

Want can’t force people to love us. That’s the one thing money can’t buy. The only thing on this earth that is worth nothing unless it comes naturally from the other person.

“Mrs Malone, your friend just arrived,” says Maria, her voice warm and familiar.

Oh, Rose, yes of course.

I put down my crochet and walk to the door to greet her. It’s Saturday, no work for me today, but Ares went to the club to join Vox and the others. They're pulling an all nighter and launching a huge operation tonight. Ares wouldn’t tell me the details but Rose is supposed to stay here tonight and, well, at the risk of sounding scared, ten other men from the club arrived an hour ago to “secure the perimeter.” I’ve been raised in this atmosphere. I know the risks, the stakes, but it’s different this time. Knowing that Ares will be out there. That he could get hurt.

Don’t think about it.

I’d offer Erin to come stay the night too, and throw a pyjama party old school style, but she went to her mom an hour away from Knoxville.

Ares taught me a few signs before leaving this morning, I hope it’ll be enough to make her feel welcome.

“Hi, Rose, welcome. I’m Mia,” I say with a smile, hugging the shy girl, nervously entering our home as if she was bothering me.

Wow.

That girl is a model, like seriously? I’ve seen what angels look like in painting but damn. Her endless blonde curls with her huge blue eyes and bold lips; she’s so pretty. I chose to keep it casual since we’re staying home and wore my turquoise velvet loungewear set with a butterfly made of glitter on the back. She’s dressed simply but it only enhances her beauty: deep blue flare jeans with a tight black top, making her hourglass body shape shine. That Vox of hers is a lucky guy. She nods with a smile and enters, removing her shoes carefully.

“It’s okay, you can come inside with it.”

She shakes her head then signs something quickly and I feel awful for not knowing what she meant.

“Wait, I got you, girl,” I tell her, rushing to the living room and taking out the notebook and my favorite pen with a pink feather at the end of it. Thought we could use it to facilitate the conversation.

“Thank you,” she signs, sliding down one hand with her palm up from her chin to me, and I’m grateful for Ares teaching the bare minimum in our bed this morning before leaving for the club.

-

Earlier that day,

“Focus Mia, I don’t have much time.” We’re sitting on our bed, and he’s only wearing his black sweatpants that I’ve grown to really, really like. Like a bit too much maybe.

“It’s just, look at you with your huge hands, making tiny signs.” I chuckle at my Hulk of a husband trying so hard for something I never thought I would see him do.

“That’s it, I'm going,” he grunts, pinching the bridges of his nose. I grab his forearm, his rough skin sending small electrical shocks to every inch of my body.

“Wait, wait! Okay, I’ll focus.” I sit on my heels over the cover, closer to him, his gaze glancing a second at my chest, making me forget that I only wore a tiny purple feather nightgown with barely enough fabric to hide my skin.

“That’s Thank you and that’s How are you? ” He shows me the signs that I mimic to make sure I remember correctly. He then proceeds to teach me a few more signs and sends me one video with them so I can repeat before Rose’s arrival.

“That’s it, princess, you got it,” he praises me after I repeat all of them once. “You’ll stay here today until tomorrow. No outings, no latte stuff. I need Ash, Carter and Shadow for our operation tonight, so if you see a dozen men show up at the gate in an hour, don’t freak out, they’re from the club. Here to protect you, Rose and the staff.” He flexes his hand.

“Why do we need so much protection? Isn’t it a normal operation?” I cross my arms.

He shakes his head firmly, biting his lower lip. “We’re catching a big fish tonight, princess, and I’ll only rest when I come back home to you.” He gently grabs the side of my throat with his hand, and his lips kiss mine for a second in a rough and hard way.. His kiss leaves me panting. Until today he’s always been the one initiating them, but I find myself wanting to make the first move more and more. If only he could see what he does to me.

I don’t even point out that I’m not his princess and that he’s not my knight in shining armor coming back to me.

But um…I guess he kinda is.

I nod. “I’ll stay here with Rose. I won’t…I won’t run. Not tonight though.”

A sad smile paints his face. “When I come back, if I come back—” I furrow my brows, “there’s a couple of things I will tell you. Just wait for me here, can you do that, Mia?”

A couple things to say to me?

Could he really die tonight?

What is happening?

“I feel like you’re saying goodbye, what’s going on?”

His hand laces with mine. “Just promise me you won’t run.”

“I…I promise.”

And with these last words, he gets up and leaves me with my heart pounding in my chest, the light of the sunrise not even here to warm my heart.

-

“I didn’t know what you liked, so I asked Larry to make lots of things,” I tell her as we both get on the stools of the kitchen counter. It’s a bit late, we’ve been watching a series this afternoon and it was so good we kept going until our stomachs roared.

Rose is super sweet, she likes to read like me and she’s really into art. She’s finishing a degree in Art from Seattle University and I could tell from the spark shining in her eyes when she gave me the notebook that she’s really passionate about it.

“Don’t judge me but I like rich foods like pastas, pizzas, cheese and chocolate cakes. I never ate those things back in the day and now, it’s just so good. Vox makes them for me all the time,” she writes with a light smile and I keep myself from asking her about her past, which Ares said wasn’t the most dreamy childhood a person could have.

Pizza? This girl eats pizza and still looks like that?

Maybe carbs aren’t that bad… My mother always told me they would made me end up fat and ugly and that no one likes that, her words not mine, which created a fear in me about them. But from looking at Rose, it just seems like something she enjoys without any fear. Dr Ofenhaus did tell me that I was making progress yesterday during our session. And he encouraged me to try new things with people I trust to not spiral alone.

“It’s gonna sound weird, but could I try some with you one day, like together?”

She grins, the blue of her eyes looking lighter, and nods. “Of course, I could make you my favorite pesto sauce next time. That’s how I’m sure of keeping my husband faithful to me forever,” she writes, then shows her note to me wiking exaggeratedly.

I chuckle. “Yes, I think food is definitely the way to a man’s heart. Ares is obsessed with Larry’s cookies, I see a pile of them each night here and each morning there just gone, pouf! Wait, maybe I should keep an eye on my cook since I'm not the one actually cooking.” I roll my eyes dramatically, watching her laugh silently.

She’s cool. It's so nice to make new friends, especially ones who get you and respect your boundaries.

I pull out of the fridge all the meals Larry made with sushis, lasagnas, chicken curry and a huge salad. Then I take out the plate he made for me with tomato, strawberries, basil and boiled eggs.

“Pick what you want, girl.” I try to encourage her to make herself at home.

“Thank you so much, it looks really good,” she writes without asking me why I’m not eating like her and I’m grateful that she isn’t.

We eat together talking about the series we’ve just watched and giggle at a video of her chubby orange cat, Harley. After watching yet another episode of our show, we both get to sleep. I made one of the guest bedrooms extra cozy with more pillows and books for her. I even added a few snacks I thought she could like. Once we say goodbye, Rose yawning and waving one last time at me before closing her door, I head to our room, change into my silky pink shorts and cami and sneak into Ares’s side of the bed.

Umm.

Yes I’m acting like a teenager sniffing her boyfriend's pillow but damn. His scent is like a drug to me. I turn off the light, crossing my fingers and making a silent prayer.

Stay safe.

Just as I’m about to doze off, I hear the sound of wood cracking. That must be the wind. It’s been pouring rain for hours. I wonder where he is, if he’s safe. Yet, a few seconds later, the sound of a door squeaking convinces me that there is someone walking near the bedrooms. The idea of a stranger bursting into my room makes me want to jump out the window and run to the woods.

Stay calm, don’t panic, you’re safe here, just call him, he’ll know what to do.

Without waiting another second I slide to my side of the bed and grab my phone.

“Can’t really talk right now. What do you need princess ?” His voice is unusually hoarse, out of breath, as if he had been running.

“I think—I think there’s someone behind the door,” I whisper, borderline panicked.

“It’s Cal, one of my men. He’s making rounds. I got all of them tracked and reporting to me every fifteen minutes,” he states without a doubt in his tone.

“Rea-really?”

“You’re safe, princess. Go back to sleep. I’ll be there soon.”

“I…I wish you could be there, like right now… I have a bad feeling.” I sound like a crying baby, but seriously, sometimes you can feel it in your guts that something wrong is about to happen. I know he’s the boss and I’m well aware that he’s juggling many important things tonight but still… Mafia and gangs are our lives, this is our normal and I feel in my stomach that I need to be close to him right now. “Could… I know you’re busy, but…could you come back now ? I…I really need you.”

A gunshot echoes on the line, voices of men crowding our call as one loud cry of pain fills the call.

“Ares? Ares, are you still there?”

(click.)

Ares

The hunt was finally over.

I could see the contour of his fucking throat under the dim light of the poker table in the abandon warehouse he had chosen to meet up with a gun supplier. The guy in question had never been clean and I had kept my business away from him to avoid any chances of one of his oversight leading him to the feds or worse.

Here they were, playing poker with other men who would soon meet their maker. It needed to be done, I couldn't take any more threats targeting my men's family. Nor mine.

One picture of her taken at the coffee shop on one of her outings with Ash and Shadow had landed on the doorsteps of the club two days ago. A large red cross marked her sweet, angelic face.

I couldn’t sleep at night knowing my girl was walking with a target on her back.

No fucking way.

It had to stop, and from his presence on my territory tonight, his plan was about to succeed soon if I didn't put an end to it. Nero, the head of the Italian Chapter, owning Philadelphia, had tried to bite more than what he could chew. Rushing his expansion, installing distrust in his rank, creating chaos around him.

Greed was the kind of sin that could bite you back in the ass and he was about to taste just how reckless he had been.

Thirty of my men were surrounding the perimeter, there was no chance for the men in there to come out alive. I was kneeled next to Carter and Blank under a window that had a direct clean shot to Nero. Ash, Shadow and the others were covering all the exits.

It was going to be clean, fast and bloody.

The pressure in my lungs was rising and pressing down on my chest like a tonne of bricks. It couldn't go wrong. I had led my men there, with their trust and their loyalty, I had to get them out of here alive, too.

Vox, who was situated on the opposite side of the warehouse, reached to me with our earpiece.

“Still sure about keeping him alive?” he asks. I had thought this through. Killing him was a matter of time, but we had to be smart and interrogate him first. Nero had many connections with the Italian mafia and I needed to gather all the intel I could if I wanted a chance at taking his cities back without heading blind into the hands of the mafia which was significant enough to represent a true threat to the Raven Sons. They had more men, more ressources, and weren't keen on newcomers. Nero would have no other choice but to talk in our basement and give us his suppliers, clients and all the fucking dirt he had on all of them.

Leverage.

That’s what was the best currency in our world and he was about to give me plenty of.

“I want him alive. For the others…no survivors,” I repeat, flexing my hand ‘cause fuck, it would have been sweet to see his neck snap and fall on his chest. Guess I'll have to wait longer to get the satisfaction.

He had threatened the club and our families.

And Mia.

A clean shot wouldn't do for him. I would handle him personally and make sure he would die without a single centimeters of skin remaining on his battered body.

“They’re moving, boss. Do you authorize the shot?” says Tank in my earpiece.

Nero stood, buttoning his shiny navy Italian suits and shaking the guy's hand.

The party was over.

I had enough for the night, and I wanted to come back to my little tornado and pull her in my arms in the comfort of our bed.

Three words.

That's all she was asking for her to let go.

To stay.

And still, I was petrified of pronouncing them out loud.

My phone vibrated in my pocket, the unique pattern I had chosen when Mia was calling.

Was she okay?

“Can’t really talk right now. What do you need, princess ?” We were about to launch the assault, and yet, I needed to make sure my girl was safe before moving a single muscle, even if my enemy was starting to move and potentially disappear from our sight.

“Target is moving, prez. What do we do?” says Shadow in the earpiece.

“Boss, we need to act now before he sees us,” Tank urges me.

“I've got him in a clear shot, do I have the go ahead?” Vox asks hurriedly.

My guys were shouting at me now, urging me to fucking decide. Yet, Mia’s safety was the only matter my blood was pulsing for.

“I think—I think there’s someone behind the door,” she says, her sweet little voice strained, panicked. Checking my notifications, I notice one of my guys making rounds upstairs.

“It’s Cal, one of my men. He’s making rounds. I got all of them tracked and reporting to me every fifteen minutes,” I tell her as calmly as I can despite my men shouting in my ear.

“Rea-really?” Relief washes over her, and at that second I wish I could kiss her hair and tell her she's safe.

“You’re safe, princess. Go back to sleep. I’ll be there soon,” I say, holding the barrel of my Glock right in the direction of Nero. The gun was heavy with bullets, all wearing his name.

“I…I wish you could be there, like right now… I have a bad feeling.”

Fuck, why now?

Business over women.

The words of my father hit me in the guts, but this time, they hold less power, less meaning. As if something had changed. As if my priorities had shifted.

“Could… I know you’re busy but… Could you come back home now? I…I really need you.”

Fuck.

Mia needs me.

She wants me home.

She said home as in her home as well.

Just as Mia's voice ends on the line, I notice Nero glancing at the window with too much insistence, and without even stepping toward it, he takes his gun out of his holster and raises it in my direction.

BANG!

“Ares? Ares, are you still there!?” Mia's little voice fades in the background as a rain of bullets starts falling.