Chapter 19

Mia

Rule number one: do not drool over your husband at a family dinner, or you’ll make a fool of yourself and give your little sister enough material to get sassed for years.

It was hard enough to watch him over the table glancing at me and my plate, searching for trigger clues, but when he defended me in front of my parents.

I truly think feminism left my body at that instant. I’m a strong woman, I have my own business, I train hard to look fit, I have hobbies and opinions of my own. I was never into the whole protective, dangerous man fighting for his woman kind of thing.

But…

Um…

Well, it all kind of got thrown out the window since I stepped foot in Ares’s house, and since then, a fire has been spreading in my body and burning my senses each time I spend in his company.

Not only does he look way too good, in a this-should-be-illegal to look this good kind of way. But he cares for me, and that…damn it, that adds gasoline to the fire already burning inside me.

The way he defended me? It was hard to stay composed when a man like him has your back like that. I catch myself staring across the table, watching him. He glances at me and smirks like he knows exactly what he’s doing to me, and I swear, it’s like he’s turning up the heat on purpose.

Kiara keeps looking at me with a knowing smile.

“Stop this immediately.” I whisper to her.

“You stop this!” She giggles.

She keeps on talking about her tennis competition. Ares is listening to her with attention which makes my heart only pound harder at the sight of him trying to connect with my sister.

“My coach helps me break old patterns. He made me train with other students and—” Kiara says, but suddenly, all I can think of is him.

Him and the promise of us.

Do I have the guts to accept happiness? What would I need to finally be secure in our relationship? Lust? No, lust can be given and thrown away in an instant, and I’d rather hold back than give myself to someone who won’t find the value of it.

“Here, Mrs Malone,” says one of the waiters. We have a lot of staff here. Too much actually, but I guess it’s more of an image thing than anything else. Butlers, bodyguards, chauffeurs, gardeners, maids… A little circus running around with no purpose other than to make my parents drown in their money and illusion of endless wealth. I know for a fact that Ares is twice as rich as my parents, and still, he lives way more simply. I much prefer having Maria and Larry at home. It’s simpler and much quieter.

Did you say home?

I look at the plate the man just laid in front of me.

Nope. No way.

Looking up at my family, I notice they all have been served, like me, a large piece of meat with potatoes, white sauce, and fried vegetables.

Why did she do that?

She knows I can’t eat that.

I hate that my mother still does not care about my eating disorder. It’s not like she has never heard me cry myself out each night after dinner when they forced me to finish my plate or sometimes just make me sleep without eating, depending on their moods.

She never said it, but given her thinness, which jumped to my eyes since I haven’t seen her in a while, she does have an eating disorder too. Only her orthorexia manifests in a completely different way. She thinks in matters of eliminating calories with fitness rather than in a poison kind of way. She can eat a plate like this one as long as it’s not overly processed. Then, she’ll just spend two hours on the treadmill and call it a day.

But I can’t.

“Bon appétit everybody!” she says, clapping in her hand, locking her eyes on me with a devious smirk.

Fuck you, Mom.

“Excuse me,” I ask the waiter behind me, “could you ask Lucius to make me green steamed vegetables with tofu on the side, please? Say it’s Mia. He’ll know what to do,” I command as nicely and calmly as I can, gathering the strength the presence of my husband gives me to stand up for myself. He nods and disappears to the kitchen. Lucius has been with us for years; he’s always been understanding of my habits, but orders were orders, and my parents always had the final word. When it was just me in the house, I could come down to the kitchen, sit on the counter top and he would cook for me in a way I liked, never bothering me with judgment. Not everything was bad here. He reminds me of Larry a lot, actually.

My dad opens his mouth to speak, but Ares’s words cut the silence like a sharp knife. “Don’t even try.”

I smile at my husband, his chest high as he looks at me with a fire burning in his deep green gaze. The dining room is much smaller than in my memory, the painting of abstract shapes and golden sculptures looking surprisingly dull now.

“How long are you guys staying?” asks Kiara, cutting her steak.

“We’re leaving tomorrow morning, but you’re welcome in our house anytime,” Ares says to her, “I’m building a tennis court that should be done soon. You should be the first to try it.”

I had no idea he was building a tennis court.

Did he just have the idea now that he knows she’s into tennis?

“OMG, yes! Mom, can I go soon? Like after the winter break, please, please?” she pleads, joining her hands.

“Kiara, we have guests; don’t get all whiny,” our mother spits back.

“How about you come during the winter break?” I tell her, taking the lead, because I finally realize that standing up for myself is the only way to handle my parents.

“Really? I don’t want to bother you guys,” Kia says, twisting her lips.

“You won’t. I’d love having you there,” I assure her and hug her with one arm.

“I can’t wait.” She grins, beaming before digging once more in her plate. Looking up, I find my husband staring at me with the corner of his lips raised.

Ares Malone, could I fall even harder for you?

Ares

“Thank you for…defending me at dinner.” she says as we enter her childhood bedroom that doesn’t look like one at all. White and gold tones fill the room with modern and sleek furniture. It’s high hand but it looks more like a hotel room than what I had pictured her room to be like.

“She had it redone when I left.” She shrugs a shoulder. “It was all pink and orange when it was mine.”

Why would her mom want to erase her like that?

“Our kids will always have their rooms to come back to, even when they’re adults and all. It’s too important to throw away.” The words escape my lips as I start to undress to get to bed.

She glances at me, fidgeting with the zip in the back of her dress, closing her jaw after gawking at me. “Wait, did you say our kids?”

“Yeah,” I deadpan while my heart pounds in my chest.

“What makes you think I’ll have your kids? That’s a little presumptuous.” She rests a hand on her hips with her pouty lips begging to be kissed.

“You’d look good with a round belly, that’s all.” I shrug off.

“What is it with you and kids? You don’t seem like the giddy daddy type.” She shakes her head with a frown. I remove my pants and step close to her, only wearing my black underwear, her chocolate pools running on my body like magnets that can’t stop watching me.

“Can’t think of anything better in life than making kids and watching them grow. I got enough darkness in my world, I’d like to bring something good to this world.”

“Oh, so you think a little Ares running around and ordering people is going to fix this world?” She tries to look pissed, but I know she’s picturing it too.

My old man drilled the idea of legacy into me from the time I could walk. Said it was the only thing that really matters in this life. For him it was all about carrying his name, making sure his line would go on, that the Malones would never be forgotten, not after decades of building his empire.

But with Mia by my side, legacy takes a different turn. It shapes into ideas of fatherhood, kids laughing in the kitchen and playing outside. It becomes more, way more than I ever thought I could achieve.

“Could be a little Mia, too, you know?” I smirk, waiting to see how far I can push her.

She shakes her head. “You’re impossible.”

“It was my father’s obsession,” I admit quietly. “Carrying the bloodline, keeping our territories strong.”

“And…and now?” Her voice falters.

“Now it’s different.”

“Different how?” she murmurs.

I hiss in a breath.

“Kiara’s safe. I talked to your father before dinner.”

Tears shine in the white of her eyes. “Really?”

“Yeah, it’s done. You’ll never have to worry about it anymore.”

“I…I don’t know how to thank you.”

“I can think of a few ideas.” I smirk at her.

She chuckles, pink flushing her cheeks, then turns her back on me. “Can you unzip me, please?”

I take the zipper in my large palm and undo her dress, the fabric falling on the floor and revealing a silky pink set.

That’s my Mia right here.

She was just hidden behind that freaking black dress.

I should burn that thing. Mia wearing no colors or eccentric clothing isn’t how I like her. Not because of the stuff but because she was hiding herself, belittling who she was to please her parents. And that won’t do. I run the back of my finger from her nape to the low of her back, watching goosebumps bloom on her skin after my touch. She inhales, trembling. “We should get to bed.”

“Yeah, we should.”

She grabs a large T-shirt she took from my closet at home and shoves it on her, then she removes her bra underneath it and sighs from relief after the pink fabric hits the floor. I tap the place next to me and put the cover on her once she’s next to me.

She turns off the lights of her nightstand and hums as she sinks in the mattress, pulling the covers up and snuggling next to me. The bed is much bigger than the one we have, but still, she snuck herself close to me.

What I would give to take her in my arms right now.

Why can’t I just do it?

“You did great back there,” I tell her, my voice low, sounding like gravel as I remember how proud I felt when she stood up to her mother.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “It’s…having you here helped,” she whispers. I smile but she can’t see it in the darkness. I like this, us, talking in our bed, like a real couple. No woman has ever denied my primal need and yet Mia has me wrapped up around her fingers and smiling at the single fact of knowing she’s near me, safe and mine. The idea of this disappearing one day hits me in the guts.

“What will it take for you to let go?” I ask out of nowhere.

“What?”

“What would it take for you to let me in, fully,” I repeat, my palm drifting to her belly, resting on the warmth of her stomach, her shirt the only barrier between our flesh.

“I…I’m not sure if… it’s stupid,” she says quietly.

“It’s not Mia. I just need to know what you want from me to give us a chance and not run when things get hard,” I tell her, almost pleading, but I don’t care, I need to know. My ego will have to wait. Her breathing quickens, my hands rubbing circles on her belly.

“I think…I think I need you to say it.”

“Say what?” I stop my hand.

“You know what…” Her little voice falters. I’m glad she can’t see my face in the dark ‘cause I’m speechless.

The four-letter words.

That’s what she wants from me.

But I don’t know if I can.

“I…I’ve never said those words to anyone. I’m not even sure I’m capable of it.” My palm slides to the side of her waist, pulling her to face me on her side.

“It’s alright, it was stupid, you see,” she says with a cold chuckle.

If she asks me this, does it mean she feels this way about me too?

Time stops and I can hear my heart pump in my ears just like before a fight.

Did she just imply she loves me?

“It’s not. It’s important, I—” I try to say but the words get stuck in me and I fucking hate myself for it.

“Don’t worry, Ares. It was silly of me to ask.” She closes herself and turns her back on me. I fall on my back, resting my elbow behind my neck, staring at the ceiling. We stay like this, silent, until she falls asleep. The low echo of her breathing soothing my body.

I could tell her the truth. I could tell her that she’s already under my skin in ways I never expected. But the words...they’re stuck. Shoved away inside me after thirty-two years of being kept away from the outside world.

Business over women.

That used to be my number one rule.

But I guess the rules have changed.