Chapter 19

Cora

I feel like I’m going to be sick. I’m freaking out. But not in a bad way. I’m so excited but also nervous.

Sitting on the edge of my bed, I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths. Zack said I’m good to go. Does that mean we’re going to get the process going right away? Will Zack still let me work if I’m pregnant?

Oh god, what if I can’t get pregnant? I know the tests have come back and they can’t see any reason why not, but some women take months, maybe even years before getting pregnant. Will they want to wait that long? If I don’t get pregnant right away, will they go to someone else?

“Cora?” Kimmy’s voice has me snapping out of my own thoughts. Jumping to my feet, I look down at myself and make sure the sundress I put on is on right. “Fuck,” I whisper to myself when I see my wet hair looks like a mess. Grabbing a hair tie off the dresser, I toss it up into a messy bun that still looks pretty cute.

“Hey.” I open the door and pray she doesn’t see the panic in my eyes.

“Are you okay?” Her hazel eyes bore into mine and all I can think about is the way her fingers felt as she brushed my hair off my face and tucked it behind my ear.

In my head I was screaming for her to kiss me but then I saw Zack and I instantly felt guilty. This is a married woman. I shouldn’t be having these thoughts about her. Or her husband.

“I’m fine.” I give her my best smile. “Should we go see what Zack has to say?”

I’m totally not freaking out about this conversation, not at all.

Fuck, I really do feel like I’m going to be sick. I can’t meet Kimmy’s eyes as we walk down the hall and back downstairs. I’m so nervous, and still freaking out internally.

“Cora.” Kimmy’s hands grab my wrist, stopping me before we head into the study. Her worried eyes meet mine. “Are you having second thoughts?”

“What?” My eyes widen. “No.” I shake my head. “No. Of course not.”

“You're not acting like yourself.”

I chew on my lip. “I’m not having second thoughts. Just worried you know? What if this doesn’t work, what if I get your hopes up and let you down.”

She gives me a smile, seeming to be relieved by my words. “Let’s not think about that right now. Only positive thoughts, right?”

“Right.” I smile.

“Come on. Let’s go talk to Zack.” She laces her fingers in mine. I look down where we’re locked together and smile. When I look back up, I find her watching me with a smile of her own. My cheeks burn as I look away and she chuckles lightly.

When we get into the study, we find Zack sitting on one of the chairs. We move to sit on the couch.

“Cora,” he says my name and my belly flips.

“Yes?” I start to nervously play with the baby hairs around my neck.

Zack looks to Kimmy for a moment then back to me. “Before we do this, before we take this big step forward, we need to talk about a few things.”

“Okay.” I nod, my pulse is going nuts right now.

“Kimmy and I.” He clears his throat. “When conceiving this baby. We ah, we don’t want to do it through artificial insemination.”

“Oh.” I blink a few times, not sure how else this would work. “If we don’t do artificial insemination, then what other way is there for me to get pregnant?”

Zack leans back in his chair and gives me this cocky look as he raises a brow. “Use that pretty little head of yours, Cora.” His voice shifts to a deeper tone. “How are babies normally made?”

I blink a few times. “You mean...” No, he can’t mean sex. My head snaps over to Kimmy. “I would never sleep with your husband, Kimmy.”

Her face falls. “Why not?”

My eyes widen. “What... what do you mean, why not? You're my best friend. I’d never do that to you.”

She licks her lips, eyes searching mine. “What if I want you to?”

I’m taken aback. “You want me to sleep with Zack?” I can’t lie and say that I wouldn’t want that. It’s all I’ve been thinking about for weeks now. “I mean, does natural conception make the chances better? Is that why you want to take that route?”

“No, Cora. We would be perfectly fine with artificial insemination with anyone else. But not you.”

“Not me?” My brows furrow. “I don’t understand.”

Zack chuckles and it kind of pisses me off. “Don’t laugh at me, Zack. Stop playing games. Please, just tell me what you mean.”

He takes a deep breath and nods before leaning forward in his seat, bracing his arms on his thighs. “Cora. What I’m trying to tell you is that Kimmy and I see you as more than a friend. I want to conceive a baby with you the natural way because I want you, Cora. I want you in my bed, on my cock, riding my wife's face. I want your face buried between my wife's thighs as I fuck you from behind. I want her drowning on your pussy as I destroy hers. We want you to be with us. To not just be our best friend, but our lover.”

My lips part and there's a ringing in my ears as the blood rushes to my head. I don’t know what to think, what to say.

“Zack!” I hear Kimmy scold him as I continue to gape at him, trying to figure out if I heard him right or if I’m dreaming. “If you just scared her away, I’ll kill you.”

Zack doesn’t look at his wife, his eyes still on mine. The cockiness is gone now, real concern replacing it. “Cora?”

He gets up off his chair and crouches down in front of me. “Daredevil, talk to me.”

“You...” I manage to get out as I blink a few times out of my haze. “You want me?”

Zack’s face morphs into a small smile. “Remember that crush I told you about that I had when we were teenagers?” I nod slowly. “Turns out, it didn't go away.”

“Guilty.” Kimmy says. My eyes find hers as she bites her lower lip.

“You want me.” I need to say it out loud enough times that maybe I'll believe it.

“I like you, Cora. We both do. We want something more, if you feel the same way,” she says nervously.

“Do you? If not, please don’t think this will change anything. We want you in our lives, even just as friends. As long as we have you, that’s all we care about.” Zack says.

“You’re not messing with me, are you?” I ask, my voice cracking as tears fill my eyes.

“No baby, we’re not joking.” Zack places his hands on my thighs, giving them a little squeeze and then I break.

It’s embarrassing but deep heavy sobs leave me. God, I’m so messed up, so deprived of love that just hearing that the two people I want the most in the world want me back. They want me. Both of them. I don’t have to pick, I’m not ruining anything. I don’t have to feel guilty for feeling this way anymore.

Zack moves to sit on the couch and pulls me into his lap. “Shhh,” he soothes, kissing the side of my head. “We’ve got you.”

“I’m sorry.” I cry, struggling to take in a breath. “I’m not sad. I’m really not. I’m so happy, so happy I don’t know what to do.” My chest takes a few shuddering breaths as I meet Kimmy’s watery eyes. “For years, I’ve wanted the both of you. I wanted my best friend and my stepbrother. But I was just a teenager, and there were so many reasons why it just couldn’t be. When I left, my biggest regret was not telling you both how I felt.

“Then I spent ten years dreaming about you and making myself try to forget you while I was awake. When you brought me to your home that weekend, I was at the lowest point in my life. I was convinced nothing good was ever going to happen. That I wasn’t worthy of love or friendship, destined to always be alone.”

I’m a mess right now, all my thoughts and feelings coming out in a word vomit mess. “When you came to my motel and told me to come home with you, even though I felt like I was going to be an inconvenience in your life, I came because I wasn’t ready for that weekend to be over. I wanted more time with you, needed more than I ever thought I would. And over the past few weeks, I’ve been falling harder and harder and I’ve been so afraid that I was setting myself up for a broken heart but couldn’t bring myself to leave because I need you both. I’m just so tired of being alone.”

Kimmy leans forward, cupping my face in her hands, tears spilling down her own cheeks. “You will never be alone again, Cora.” Her voice cracks. “We will never let you be. You are not a burden to us. We’ve wanted you here so much more than you think.” She looks up at Zack and laughs. “We may have been a couple of jealous, over obsessive people lately.”

“Do you know how much it drives us crazy when you're not around?” Zack murmurs in my ear. “We can’t settle down until you're with us. If you think you're crazy for wanting us, then we’re down right insane, baby.”

I close my eyes and smile, my face still in Kimmy’s hands. “You want me?” I whisper.

“So much.” Kimmy tells me, closer now.

“Yes, Daredevil. We want you.”

Zack kisses my neck, the feeling of his lips softly brushing against my skin ignites me at the same time Kimmy grazes her lips against my forehead before pressing a kiss.

It’s simple touches, but god, it feels like I’ve been given the world.

“So, you still wanna make that baby?” I ask and we all burst out laughing.

“Right now?” Zack growls, pulling me against him tighter. My body heats when I feel how hard he is.

“No,” I squeak, making Kimmy burst into another fit of laughter.

“Shame.” Zack nips at my earlobe. “Soon though.”

“Soon,” I whisper as a stupid grin takes over my face.

We don’t talk about anything else to do with babies for the rest of the night. We just sit in the study, me in Zack’s lap, my head on his shoulder as Kimmy lays between my legs. I play with her hair as Zack plays with mine. It’s simple, it’s sweet and I’ve never been more happy than I am in this moment.

Maybe this is too good to be true and life will chew me up and spit me out like it always does. But until then, I’m going to enjoy every moment, every touch, every breath with these two.