32. Kyle
32
KYLE
I was still aggravated that Alayna had quit on me. I let that anger supersede the pain I felt over having lost Clarissa. I spent the next few days wandering around Chicago, unable to get comfortable in my hotel room. I wanted my home, and I wanted my family.
However, the only thing I was guaranteed was that once the short-term rental was ended, I would be able to move back into my own place. I had no idea if I would ever be able to get Clarissa and our little family back.
I didn't know what to do with myself, unable to focus and feeling lost in the city I considered my home territory.
It wasn't until James came back to the office after his brief holiday that I felt like I was making any headway in my life. I stood in his new office, impressed with how completed it appeared. In contrast, my office looked like it hadn't been moved into yet.
"I'm surprised you didn't ask me where Alayna went," he said after I barged in and barely said hello before I demanded he tell me if he knew where Clarissa had relocated to.
"I know where Alayna lives," I said. "She reminded me of it constantly the two years I managed to keep her in Hong Kong. If I needed to track her down, I know where to look. I doubt I would be welcome if I showed up on her doorstep."
James chuckled. "She did seem pretty ticked off with you when she let me know she was done working for you. I even tried to hire her for myself, but she said would have nothing to do with this firm anymore."
"She certainly didn't hold back when she was letting me know that she quit. Alayna hadn't told me that Clarissa left, and I need to find her. All I have is her old address in Oak Park and a blocked phone number."
"I can't give you her new address because I don't have it. I don't even think she has a new job yet, but I can tell you she's in Seattle," he said.
"Seattle?" I asked.
"I'll call you when I get there," I said as I turned and walked out of his office as soon as he confirmed. I went straight to my hotel. I packed up my bags and headed for the airport.
I had been through the Seattle airport plenty of times on my way to Hong Kong before, but I had never actually stopped in the city for a visit. I found a hotel and got settled in before I contacted James to see if he had any updates.
"I don't, but I can give you a list of contacts I shared with Clarissa. Maybe you can track her down through one of those firms," he suggested.
"That sounds like a good place to start," I told him. I spent the next week acting like some kind of private investigator, calling architecture firms to find out if they had any new hires. And if they did, was Clarissa now working for them? When I realized no one would tell me if there was someone with her name working there, I began calling the reception desk and asking to speak with her, hoping the receptionist would simply put my call through.
I don't know how many days it was before it worked. The call went to Clarissa's voicemail. I didn't realize how badly I missed her until I heard the recording of her sweet voice telling me she'd get right back to me.
I hung up the phone immediately and got a car to her office.
I didn't know what to expect when I approached her. Would she be happy to see me or not?
"Clarissa," I said quietly as I stood behind her.
She swiveled around in her chair and looked at me. Her expression switched from one of shock to anger to being absolutely neutral and blank. "What are you doing here?" she asked in sharp, clipped tones.
"I need to speak with you," I said.
"Are you serious?" she snapped.
"Oh, my God, are you Kyle Love? Clarissa, what is Kyle Love doing in your cubicle?" A man about my age with dark hair asked.
I noticed Clarissa pasted a smile on for him, but she didn't even have a glimmer of joy when she looked at me.
"Yes, Dominic, this is Kyle Love. I interned for him."
Dominic seemed rather enthusiastic to meet me when he shook my hand. "It's a real pleasure to meet you. I'm a big fan of your work. Sparkman Tower in Doha is a work of genius."
"Thank you. I always like hearing that my work is appreciated." The Sparkman Tower was the design that put my name on the map of renowned international architectural design.
"Are you staying in Seattle for any length of time?" he asked.
"I really don't know," I answered.
"Sure, sure, well if you are and you're available, I'd love to buy you a drink and pick your brain sometime."
"We'll see how this trip goes. If not, maybe next time. Clarissa, do you have a moment to discuss this?" I asked, hoping she would pick up on the hint that we needed to talk.
She turned to Dominic. "Do you mind? Is there a conference room we could borrow or…?"
"Why don't you take a coffee break and go get some of Seattle's finest? Have your little chat outside the office," Dominic offered.
"Thanks." She turned and picked up her coat and then pushed me to begin walking away. She did not say anything as we trailed through the cubicle farm where she worked and back down the elevators and outside.
"What are you doing here, Kyle?" she snapped.
"I came to find you and Leo," I said.
"Why?" I could feel the resentment coming from her.
"Because we're a family."
She started laughing. "So now we're a family? How long did it take after you got the paternity test results to decide we're a family?"
"Don't be like that, Clarissa. The test results don't matter," I said.
She walked with a brisk pace through the spitting cold rain. She stopped, turned to face me, made some noise halfway between a grunt and a growl, and then began walking again. I followed but only managed to get a few steps in before she stopped and turned on me again.
"I don't understand. You've had the test results for weeks and you're only now coming to talk to me about wanting to be a family. I don't think so. You should have believed me from the beginning." She stormed off.
"I haven't gotten any test results, Clarissa," I called out after her. "I realize I have been a fool. I don't need some DNA test to tell me that Leo is my son or that I love you."
She charged back toward me. Her eyes were narrowed as she shot a deadly glare at me. "You certainly need something, because if you really did love me, you wouldn't have left for Hong Kong again without saying anything to me for a second time."
"I get it, Clarissa. I fucked up," I admitted.
"You can say that again," she snarled.
"Did you know that Alayna quit working for me?"
Clarissa stopped walking again. "I had no idea. I thought she was too smart to always put up with your shit, but you did admit that you overpaid her. What did you do to finally drive her away?"
"She said that in the end, it was because of how I treated you," I admitted.
Angry tears that I had mistaken for raindrops ran down Clarissa's cheeks.
"It took Alayna quitting for you to realize that you missed me? That's really rich. You couldn't have missed me for my own sake? You couldn't have believed me when I confessed that I've only ever had a relationship with you and Leo was your son. Why not? Why couldn't you have just missed me and done the right thing without Alayna kicking you in the butt?"
She was right. It took my losing Alayna to realize I had lost absolutely everything.
I looked up and saw the coffee shop on the corner.
"Let me buy you a coffee and we can talk about this," I said.
Clarissa passed back-and-forth at the corner as we waited for the light to turn. We made it about halfway across the street before she stopped.
"You know what, Kyle? Buy yourself a damned cup of coffee. I'm done. I have to go back to work." She turned around and left me standing in the middle of the street.
I just stared after her, unsure of what to do, until the cars wanting to drive started honking their horns at me. I started to run after her but was cut off by a speeding truck that nearly hit me. I retreated to the coffee shop and over a hot mocha began formulating my next steps. I had relied too much on Alayna for managing my professional life. So much so that I hadn't really been managing my private life at all. Everything needed to change.
I needed to prove to Clarissa that she could trust me and that we belonged together.