23. Clarissa

23

CLARISSA

I was in a foul mood when I got home. It was a good thing that Leo was already in bed.

"How did it go?" Marci asked.

"Don't ask," I grumbled.

"That bad?"

"He doesn't believe me. I cried. I have been crying the entire walk home. Meeting him tonight was such a bad idea."

Marci frowned in sympathy with my bad mood. She unfolded from her spot on the couch and wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug.

"He doesn't believe that Leo is his son." I sniffled.

"You told him about Leo?" she asked.

I pressed my palms against my temple, trying to push my head back together. "This is so fucked up, Marci. No, I didn't tell him about Leo. He saw us at the park. He's been angry with me all week. He came to Oak Park and saw us."

"I thought you said he lived in the Gold Coast area. What was he doing in Oak Park? Is he following you?"

I shook my head. "He had some half-assed excuse for being in the neighborhood. As far as I know, he still doesn't know where I live. But I showed him the house."

"Not your dream house?" She sounded so disappointed in me. "Why did you show him your dream house?"

"I was stupid and angry. He was playing games at work, thought he was being clever by making me take him on an architectural tour of Chicago again. So, I showed him the house. I wanted him to look beyond the fa?ade, to see that there are more interesting things in the world than something with a famous name."

"You wanted him to see that there were more interesting things in you," she said.

I groaned and sank onto the couch. "Oh, God, it was a metaphor for our relationship."

"What are you talking about?"

I waved my hand about, dismissing my stupidity. Or maybe I was wafting it about. "Stupid stuff I said when I was trying to be profound and smart and witty, and furious and pissed off at him. I wanted him to regret what he did. I wanted him to regret leaving me all those years ago."

"Only it backfired and bit you in the butt."

I laughed. "It bit me hard. I probably have teeth marks."

She laughed. "What happened? Tell me."

I told her everything that I managed to understand through my confusion. Kyle saw Leo and me and jumped to the conclusion that I was married or had a boyfriend or a situation of some kind. I thought I was going to play it off and deny everything, but I caved and confessed that Leo was his son and he didn't believe me.

"Leo isn't proof enough for him?"

I shook my head and held my hands out wide. "His name isn't on the birth certificate. Kyle seems to think that's proof that I'm trying to trick him or something."

"Get a paternity test," Marci suggested.

"Are those expensive?"

She shook her head. "I don't know. Not one of those genealogy tests. Those are expensive. You should be able to get a paternity test from the drugstore."

"And what? He pees on a stick and they match?"

"You're funny, Clarissa, even when you're stressed. I don't know how it works. But if he wants proof that Leo is his kid, he's going to have to agree to a paternity test."

"I don't want it to hurt Leo," I said. "You know, needles and drawing blood."

Her thumbs were already speeding over the front of her phone. Knowing Marci, she was getting answers for me in real time. She switched to swiping her finger across the device a couple of times, nodded, and then held her phone out to me. "See, it's do it yourself. A cheek swab, and we should be able to get it at the drugstore. There are no needles at all."

"What am I supposed to tell Leo?"

"Leo doesn't even have to know what's happening," Marci said.

"You know him. He's going to ask questions."

"Leo doesn't have to know anything. He's five. You tell them you're doing a science experiment or something."

I could handle that. Leo loved science.

The next day while out running errands, I purchased the same kit that Marci had shown me from her phone. Getting the test was the easy part. Asking Kyle to take it was a different matter.

On Monday morning, my nerves left me a complete mess. I had the box, ready to hand the paternity test over to Kyle the second he walked in the door. Only he didn't. I didn't find out for a couple of hours that he and James had a client meeting.

They returned some time later while I was helping Michelle fix an issue with the printer. For some reason, her computer decided to stop communicating over the network to the printer. This was an issue we had managed to troubleshoot before. It took the two of us yelling back and forth across the office to let each other know whether a document was sent or received.

When I was running back and forth between Michelle's office and the printer, I noticed that Kyle had come back, and he was set up in the conference room. Once we successfully managed to have a document print, I went to see him.

"I have something for you," I said before he could say anything.

"An apology?" he asked.

I shook my head. I didn't see how I owed him one. "A paternity test. You said you wanted proof, and this is the only sure way to provide that for you."

He grunted. What else had he expected?

"No," he finally said. "I want to see him."

Did Kyle think he could look at Leo and suddenly tell if he was the father? Would he recognize himself in the face of our little boy?

"Are you still interested in meeting him?"

"I am," Kyle said. His expression was blank, and I couldn't tell if he was upset or tired or both.

"Would you be interested in meeting us at the Field Museum this weekend?" I asked.

He shrugged.

"I don't know how to give you proof if you don't want to take the paternity test. I can't go back in time and somehow tell you before you left. If you want to meet him, you need to take the paternity test."

"I'll meet him first," he demanded.

"I have to package your part of the test with Leo's cheek swab and send it in together. If you meet us at the museum, you can do your cheek swab in the bathroom there."

"It's a cheek swab?" he asked.

I nodded.

He narrowed his eyes at me before nodding in agreement. "That should work."

"Good. Leo is not going to know what that test is for. If he asks me, I'm telling him it's a science experiment. And I would really appreciate it if you wouldn't say anything to him until we have results. Or until you are comfortable accepting that you're his father and that you're planning on being around."

He started to say something but stopped. "Can we call a truce, then?"

I nodded and bit my lip. Tears stung my eyes.

"Being this angry is exhausting. And I don't want to be angry at you, Clarissa."

"I don't want you to be angry at me either," I admitted.

Saturday morning couldn't come soon enough. Leo thought it was great fun to be part of a science experiment.

I rubbed a cotton swab along the inside his cheek and sealed it in a test tube and put the box in my bag. As a reward, I promised him a morning at the Field Museum of Natural Science. It was always a treat because he loved the dinosaurs so much.

Kyle stood just inside the main entrance, waiting for us.

Leo got a little shy and crowded in close when I started talking to Kyle.

"Leo, this is one of Mommy's friends. He wanted to come see the museum too, so I invited him."

Leo nodded but didn't seem too interested in meeting Kyle.

Kyle squatted down so that he didn't tower over the two of us. His eyes went wide when he saw Leo clearly. He had to see that Leo looked like a miniature version of himself, the same dark hair, the same blue eyes. And the same stubborn streak.

"My name is Kyle. I understand you are an expert on dinosaurs. Your mom thought you might be able to help me learn something new."

Leo eased away from my side slightly.

Kyle continued to ask Leo questions until Leo nodded.

Kyle stood. "You have something for me?" He said it like it was some kind of a drug deal. I rolled my eyes and retrieved the box out of my bag.

"This is your part." I handed him the test.

"Once you've completed your part, I'll send everything in."

"You expect me to trust that you'll not tamper with the test?"

My gut twisted. I thought he didn't want to be angry with me any longer. But clearly, he was.

"I have his part with me. I'll put it in the box first, and then you can put your part in the box. I'll even let you seal it, and we can go drop it in a FedEx box together." I had put a lot of thought into how to proceed. I didn't want him to find a way to worm his way out of taking the test.