22. Kyle

22

KYLE

" T his is going to sound stupid," I admitted.

"It can't sound any stupider than anything you said to me so far tonight," she said with a sneer.

"I wanted to take a better look at the houses in the neighborhood you showed me. I was feeling… nostalgic."

"You're right. That does sound stupid. You decided to take a walk in Oak Park, and you think you saw me with some kid. You could have just asked me about it instead of jumping to conclusions."

I put my drink down and looked at her. I let my gaze linger on her features and her form. She was exceptional.

"Look at you, Clarissa. Why wouldn't you be married with a kid by now?"

She let out a bitter laugh. "You could have just asked me instead of jumping to conclusions."

"What am I supposed to think when I see you in a nice neighborhood playing with a kid?" I asked.

It was my turn to shrug. "I really don't know, Kyle. But why did you automatically jump to my being in a relationship? You didn't ask if I was babysitting or if the kid was my nephew. Why on earth would you think I was in a relationship with somebody else after I spent the night with you?"

I finished the drink with a single long gulp. "You're not in a relationship. You're not married. You're not divorced. Then who is the kid, Clarissa?"

She looked shocked.

After letting this eat me up for a week, she was right. I needed to be asking different questions. I wanted to know who the kid was and why she was in the park playing with him.

As I waited for her answer, that voice in the back of my head reminded me, and this is why I wasn't supposed to be fooling around with the intern again . Not only was it not professional and completely inappropriate, but she also tied my insides up to the point where I couldn't think straight.

It wasn't any of my business who she saw or if she had kids. The second I took her back into my life and into my bed, I needed to know everything there was about her. Not knowing something this major ruined my entire week.

She stared at the unfinished drink in front of her. Having seen how she reacted the first couple of sips, I figured she was contemplating whether it was worth finishing the drink or not. Surprisingly enough, she picked it up and tossed it back. Her entire body quaked, and she made the most unattractive grimace as she clearly did not enjoy the drink. She nodded at my drink. "You might want another one of those before I tell you anything."

I waved down the bartender

"Give me another one of these. Do you want anything?" I asked Clarissa.

She shook her head. "Can I just get a Coke?"

"Rum and Coke?" the bartender asked.

She shook her head. "Just Coke."

"Coming right up."

She drew squiggles in the condensation on the bar surface while we waited for our drinks. As soon as mine was in front of me, she nodded at it. "Drink up."

"What gives?" I asked as I set the drink down after taking a sip.

She took a few long breaths in through her nose before letting them out. She let out a soft moan on a sigh. It was almost a whimper. "I'm not seeing anybody," she repeated, "because I have a kid."

I stared at her as she wrapped her lips around her straw and took a long sip of her pop.

"Okay," I said. "Why didn't you tell me about him? Why keep him a secret?"

I wasn't going to judge her for having a kid. But I didn't understand.

She set her drink down and began playing with the corner of the napkin it was on. "I didn't tell you about him because I didn't want you to judge me too harshly."

"Is he why you didn't finish school?" I asked.

She nodded.

"What about his father? Is he around to help out?"

She turned and looked me directly in the eyes. "No," she said. "At the time, he was in Hong Kong."

She stared at me for a long moment.

"What a coincidence. I was in Hong Kong."

She continued to stare at me for a long time. I wasn't putting two and two together.

"I was in Hong Kong," I repeated.

She nodded slowly.

"You're telling me that I'm the boy's father?"

She continued to nod.

I set my drink down and stood up. "That's a very interesting story, Clarissa, but I'm not inclined to accept it."

"And why's that?" she asked.

"Because it just seems convenient. Don't you think so?" I pulled my wallet out of my back pocket, pulled out my credit card, and held it up for the bartender. "I think we're done here."

"So, that's it? We're done. We're over. You're just going to laugh in my face and walk away?"

"No one's laughing, Clarissa. This isn't funny."

"Then why do you think I'm joking?" she asked.

The bartender took my credit card. "The lady's, too?" he asked.

I nodded.

"If the boy is my son, why didn't you say anything before?"

Her eyes burned into me with a fierce glare. "You left without saying goodbye."

Was she ever going to let me get past that?

"I was planning on telling you, but then you were gone. And I didn't think having Alayna send you an email, ‘ Oh, by the way, you knocked up the intern ,' was a very good idea."

"You could have reached out to me at any point in time, Clarissa. How old is he? Four?"

"Don't you know how math works?" she asked. "He's five and a half. He started kindergarten this fall, and he knows how to read."

I had a son, and he knew how to read. It didn't seem real. Couldn't be.

The bartender set down the card along with the receipt to sign and a pen. I was still standing there trying to figure out what Clarissa wanted from me. She hadn't told me about my son when she first got pregnant, and she was only now telling me about him because I saw them together.

I scribbled my signature and put too much of a tip down before throwing the pen onto the bar.

"I've been back for months now, and you haven't said anything."

"You're right. I haven't. Would you have believed me if I had said something the first time you walked into James's office? ‘Oh, hi. Remember me? You got me pregnant.' You didn't even know who I was, Kyle. You didn't even recognize me. What was I supposed to do?"

I didn't have an answer for her.

"I thought I meant nothing to you. And if that was the case, then we were all just better off with you not knowing about Leo."

"His name is Leo?" I sat back down on the barstool. Knowing my son's name somehow made it all the more real. "Leo? Is that short for anything?"

Clarissa shrugged. "Does it matter?"

"Of course it matters. Why would you name the kid Leo Love?"

"His name isn't Leo Love. It's Leonard Matthews."

I shook my head to clear my thoughts. Matthews? "My name isn't on the birth certificate?"

"Why would I put your name on the birth certificate?" she asked.

"Because I'm the father!"

"Now you believe me?"

"Clarissa," I growled and ran my hand through my hair. "Matthews, Matthews." I mumbled the name a few times. I could not place it, didn't recognize who I knew with that name.

I looked up. My brain was so muddled by everything, I hadn't fully recognized it as Clarissa's last name. I was being a dumb fuck. No wonder she hadn't told me I was going to be a father.

"I want to meet him," I said.

"I don't think that's a good idea," she said.

"And why not?" I leaned in. "If he's my child, I want to meet him."

"Because I don't want him getting confused."

"Do you bring so many men into your life that he wouldn't know one from another?"

She shot a glare at me that would have cut if looks could kill.

"No, I don't date. I don't see random men. He knows he doesn't have a father, but he's never asked me about you. The last thing I want to do is have you come into his life and treat him the way you treated me."

"I treated you very well."

She gave me a bitter smile. "If you treated me so well, why are we arguing about your five-year-old son whom you've never met?"

"How can you be so certain he's mine?" I snarled.

"How many people do you think I was sleeping with, Kyle?"

I shook my head. "I don't know, Clarissa. How many? You tell me."

"Your ego really does get in the way of your being able to think clearly, doesn't it?" She closed her eyes and shook her head before she seemed to shut down and get quiet. "If you're leaving, just go ahead and leave." She turned away from me, taking another long sip of her drink. I think she was crying.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked.

She lifted her hand to her forehead like she was getting a headache.

"Do I really need to spell it out for you, Kyle? Maybe I do, since you clearly don't even know how to count to five. I was a virgin when we met, and you're the only man I've ever slept with. So yeah, I'm pretty sure my little boy, who has the same blue eyes as you do, is your son."