CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

I took a deep breath. "Ash," I began as, out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nektas quietly creeping toward the doors. "Me being pregnant cannot change what we've planned—what we've already discussed with the others. Everything is already in motion."

A muscle began ticking in his jaw as he stared up at me.

"Nor does it change that Kolis needs to be dealt with," I continued. "And we have very limited time before he comes out of stasis, which could happen at any minute. And the last thing we need is Kolis finding out…"

Gods, I couldn't finish that thought.

All the flesh visible on Ash's body briefly turned to midnight. "That will never happen," he snarled. "But you're right. Kolis still needs to be dealt with, and he will be. However, that doesn't and won't involve you."

I bristled. "Excuse me?"

"The last thing you need to be involved in, in your current condition—"

"My condition ?" I interrupted softly.

"Oh, dear," murmured Nektas .

"Is to be anywhere near Kolis or any of his supporters." Ash continued like I hadn't spoken. "Nor should you even be thinking about leaving the Shadowlands. Kolis will not step foot here, and you're surrounded by guards and an army."

I drew in another breath, reminding myself that this was coming from a good place. Ash was being protective. "I understand why you feel this way—"

"Glad we're on the same page." A half-smile appeared.

"We are so not on the same page, Ash."

Wisps of eather swirled in his eyes. "You are carrying our children, Sera. You are in a vulnerable state, and I will not risk losing you or them."

"You are not going to lose me or them. I'm pregnant, Ash. Not unable to defend myself or fight," I argued.

"The Healer said you are in a weakened state and should avoid using the essence."

"Perhaps if you had spent the time listening to Kye instead of growling at him, you would've heard him say that was a concern for when I enter the third trimester," I pointed out. "And in case you're having difficulty with basic math, that's like many weeks from now."

The eather moved more wildly in his eyes. "I heard him perfectly clear. Things are more dangerous for you in the third trimester. That does not mean things are safe for you now." His head cut toward Nektas . "Where are you going?"

Nektas stopped with a hand on the doorknob. "Anywhere but here."

Ash's expression turned bland. "Before you do that, it would be great if you'd tell my lovely, far-too-brave wife that I'm right."

The draken opened his mouth.

"He is not going to agree with you," I insisted.

Ash arched a brow. "Considering that Nektas is intelligent, I am sure he will."

"And I'm sure that since he's so intelligent, he knows exactly what must be done and that it involves my participation."

"I think you're going to be disappointed."

I stepped toward the bed. "I think you're about to be kicked off that bed."

His lips curved up, revealing the tip of a fang. "Sounds like a good time."

"Oh, I can promise you it will not be a good time for you."

"If I may speak?" Nektas started.

"Yes," Ash said.

"No," I snapped.

Nektas sighed. "Ash, you're right."

Ash's smile was smug when I muttered, "You were my favorite draken ."

"I'm going to ignore that," Nektas continued. "Because you are also right."

Ash's lips compressed into a thin line.

"And you two need to figure out what that means." Nektas opened the door. "I'll be waiting downstairs."

I watched the doors close, my foot tapping.

" Liessa ."

"Don't call me that."

Ash sat up. "You love it when I call you that."

"Not right now." I squared my shoulders. "Look, I get why you don't want me endangering the babes."

"It's not just them." Ash rose swiftly, stalking past me. "It is also you. We already know they are pulling on your essence. The evidence of that is still on your throat."

I turned as he went to the small table and picked up the water pitcher. "I can't deny that, but it doesn't change what needs to be done," I said.

"Not to sound repetitive, but it changes everything." He poured two glasses. "We can still Ascend Ione but have her come here. The other gods can also be Ascended."

"So, that's the plan?" I asked.

"Part of it."

"I'm sure I can guess the rest of this really well-thought-out plan full of problems." I tried to quell my anger. "Ione will be out of it after I Ascend her, which means she will be here, with no one in her Court."

He set the pitcher down. "We can send guards there."

"Guards that none of the gods in her Court are familiar with," I reasoned. "She needs to be in her Court with people both Keella and she trusts, which means I need to do what is expected of the true Primal of Life." I stared at his back. "And you need to be okay with that."

The hand at his side fisted. "Me being okay with you endangering yourself and our children is impossible."

"Then you need to not stand in my way and deal with it," I told him. "Because the only thing that is truly a danger to me is Kolis."

He faced me, the flesh along his jaw and cheekbones mottled with shadows. "I will handle him."

"You cannot handle him without me," I said. "And you know that. The fact that you know that is one of the many, many reasons I love you, so don't say you can."

He came forward and handed me a glass. The scent of strawberries reached me. "One of those reasons should be because I am willing to do anything to protect you and our children."

"It is," I insisted. "And, admittedly, you doing the growly thing was a little hot."

Ash smirked as he lifted his glass. "Knew it."

"But also annoying," I tacked on, taking a drink. "And yes, you wanting to protect us is one of those reasons, but your willingness to get yourself killed in the process is not."

Ash huffed. "I will not get myself killed."

"I know you will do everything possible to ensure that doesn't happen, but I also know Kolis will take the first chance he gets to kill you, and he can do it." My chest seized with real fear, and I didn't stop myself from feeling it. I wanted Ash to pick up on it, and I knew he did because he inhaled sharply, and the shadows deepened in his flesh. "You felt that?"

Ash said nothing.

"I know you did." My grip tightened on the glass. "The idea of you going after Kolis—going after any of the Primals without me—is terrifying. And yes, we can worry about the risks I'm taking, but what about the risks you're taking? What do you think you being injured or worse would do to me? To the lives I carry inside me? I cannot do any of this without you."

"You will not lose me." He clasped the back of my head with his free hand. "Never."

"Do you promise?"

"With every breath I take and every beat of my heart," he swore.

"Then to honor that, you know what must be done," I reasoned. "I need to fight beside you. And I need you to support that because you will not stop me from doing so."

The air around us dropped several degrees and charged, but I held his stare. "I don't want us to fight. Neither of us needs that. We need to stand together against Kolis. Not separate. I don't need you to want this. I need you to understand that this is how we ensure we have a future with our children."

Ash cursed and dropped his hand. He stepped back, the energy ramping up within him, stoking the eather inside me. "You know, I thought you asking me to take you to your lake was the hardest thing that would ever be asked of me." He turned fast and sharp, throwing his drink at the wall. The glass shattered, raining water and shards across the floor. "I was wrong."

My heart twisted and ached as I lifted my gaze from the mess to his rigid back. Wisps of eather drifted from his shoulders.

"You asking me to end your life was a nightmare made real," he said, his voice thin and icy. "But this…"

"This is not worse." I set my glass on the nightstand. "This is just reality." I walked toward him. "I'm sorry, Ash. I wish we didn't even need to have this conversation. I wish things were different. I want things to be different for us. I want to spend being pregnant worrying about being a good mother or how painful birth will be. I don't want to spend it worrying about what new horrific act Kolis will commit—and that is if I'm lucky. Because if we're not? It's over. It's all over. I will lose control. I will take Kolis out or die trying—"

"Don't speak of dying," Ash said, whipping toward me. His eyes were wide and full of pure, wild eather . " Don't ."

"Then don't make me fear that," I whispered. He started to turn from me, but I caught him before he could, curling my fingers into the hair at the nape of his neck. "Please."

A shudder went through Ash as he stepped into me, folding an arm around my waist. "Do you have any idea how hard this will be for me?" He pulled me to his chest. "When every instinct in me demands that I do everything possible to keep you safe?" He curled his other arm around my shoulders. "But I know you know how it feels. The only difference is that you are willing to face it head-on, and I'm trying to do everything to prevent it."

I held him even tighter than he embraced me. "I think we just show our love in different ways."

A rough chuckle stirred the hair on the top of my head. A moment passed. "Exactly how mad would you be if I locked you in this chamber?"

"I'm not even going to take that question seriously." I rubbed my nose and cheek against his chest. "We just need to be careful."

"You need to be careful, liessa ," he corrected. "For both of us to do what needs to be done, it's going to be just as hard on you as it is on me. I have to allow you to fight, and you'll need to allow me to put myself in front of you. You're going to have to pull back and not rush into battles."

"I never rush into battles."

"Sera."

"What?"

"You're a terrible liar and that has not changed."

I pressed my forehead to his chest. "Whatever."

"I will do everything not to hold you back, but you also have to meet me halfway on this. It is the one time I will ask you to be less brave." His fingers delved into the hair above my braid. "And I can already feel how much you hate that."

I closed my eyes. He was right. I did hate the truth of what he said.

He tilted my head back so our eyes met. "But if we're both going to do this, you need to promise me you won't take any chances."

"I promise."

"I wasn't finished."

I frowned.

His lips quirked. "And you also have to promise me you will step out the first moment you're even remotely injured. Get to safety."

I opened my mouth.

"You're not just doing that for me. You're doing it for our children," he said, the eather retreating from his pupils. "But you also need to promise me one more thing."

"There's more?"

He ignored that. "You have to promise me you won't hold back when it comes to fighting Kolis—fighting anyone."

I frowned. "Didn't you just tell me to hold back?"

"That's not what I'm talking about," he said. "I asked you not to rush into battles. What we are talking about now is not holding back when there is a battle."

Getting what he meant, I nodded. "Holding back in battle has never been a real concern."

"Before? I would agree. But after what happened in Lasania …" His hand curved over my shoulder as I moved to step back. "You made me swear to you I would put you in the ground if you lost control."

My stomach hollowed. "That hasn't changed."

"I didn't say it had." His chest rose deeply. "You need to promise me that your fear of losing control will not stop you from using everything you have in you. That it won't stop you from being a little monstrous."

My lips parted as I stared up at him. All at once, I understood his concern and why he'd asked this.

"Do you trust me?" he inquired.

"Of course." Surprise swept through me.

"Then trust that I will always be by your side to pull you back from the brink," he said. "Okay?"

I nodded.

"Do we have a deal? One you agree to and won't secretly be angry about."

"Are you not going to be secretly angry about it?"

"Eventually," he muttered, brushing his lips over my forehead.

I exhaled heavily. "I agree as long as we both make another promise."

"I am forever wary of making you promises now," he said.

"This isn't a hard one," I assured him. "We promise that our children will grow with both of us by their sides. That we absolutely refuse to allow them to experience what we have."

The eather in Ash's eyes turned luminous. "I swear to you, meyaah Liessa . They will have two loving, living parents, and nothing—absolutely fucking nothing—will prevent us from ensuring that."

I believed him.

But my mind flashed to his promise to always be there to pull me back from the brink of disaster. I buried my face against his chest, breathing him in. A tiny part of me feared a time would come when not even he could stop me. My hand went to my lower stomach as I focused on my breathing. If they were ever threatened or harmed? Ash wouldn't be able to stop me.

He'd have to put me in the ground.

The Thyia Plains' guards were somber in their bows as Ash and I, followed by Nektas , walked the hall they lined.

Keella was waiting for us in the same room we had met her in the last time. She stood in a simple white sheath and smiled. "I was beginning to think you two may not be coming."

"Something came up," Ash answered, squeezing my hand. "We would've been here sooner."

"It's okay." She inclined her head regally toward Nektas , where he hung back. "I enjoyed these last minutes here. This is one of my favorite spots. I will miss it."

A pang of sorrow lanced my chest. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"You could sit this out," Ash offered.

"That's what I told her," a steady voice came, drawing our attention to the veranda. A tall, slim figure with chin-length, reddish-brown hair came into view. The goddess Ione stopped just inside the chamber and bowed her head to us. "None of us is eager for her to pass on."

Seeing the goddess again brought forth mixed emotions—relief and also unease. The latter had nothing to do with her and everything to do with what had come after meeting her in Dalos .

"She has said this a time or a hundred," Keella said with a fond smile.

"Apparently, I haven't said it enough," Ione replied. "Because here we are."

"Yes," the Primal goddess said. "Here we are. Both more than ready to begin the next chapter of our stories, but only one willing to say it."

Ione crossed her arms over her fitted, light gray tunic, sighing heavily before her gaze met mine. "I am glad to see you again."

"The feeling is mutual." I slipped my hand free of Ash's and walked toward the goddess. "I didn't get a chance to thank you for the risk you took."

"No need to thank me." She clasped my wrist with a hand. "I couldn't have been happier to fuck with Kolis."

"Ione," sighed Keella .

"Sorry," Ione was quick to say. "I meant I was honored to fuck with Kolis on your behalf."

"Happier wasn't the word I had a problem with," murmured Keella .

A small grin appeared on Ione's face, and I had a feeling I was going to get along quite well with her. "You are still owed my thanks," I insisted. "You saved my life and did so at great risk to yours."

Ash spoke then. "You did. And you will forever have my gratitude."

Ione's gaze moved between us, and then she nodded. "I suppose I will graciously accept this unnecessary but understandable gratitude."

My lips twitched as I met her eyes. "Is this what you want for yourself?"

" Want is a strange word." The narrow bridge of her nose scrunched. "Feels kind of selfish to want this, but it is what I have been preparing for."

I nodded, turning back to Keella and Ash. I saw the Primal look at the goddess before saying, "I would like to do this on the veranda, under the skies."

"We can do this wherever you'd like," Ash assured her.

She smiled at him and came forward. "Come." She looped her arm around mine as Ione passed us. "Walk outside with me."

I went along, glancing back at Ash to see that Ione had stopped him with a question about what Keella had shared with her regarding our plans in dealing with Kolis. Nektas had come to the opening but did not follow Keella and me outside, giving us space while he kept a watchful eye.

Arching a brow, I said nothing until we were under the purple and violet clouds of the Thyia Plains. "I'm guessing you wanted to speak to me in private?"

"Whatever could have given you that impression?" she said with a laugh far lighter than someone who had come to the end of their…journey. "There is something I wanted to tell you that I wasn't sure if I could or should the last time we spoke."

"I think I know what it is." I followed her to the divan that I may have once laid upon, having a feeling I did know what she was about to mention. The lives I carried within me. After all, she was the Primal Goddess of Rebirth. "You know about my…?" What had Ash called it? "My condition?"

"If by condition, you mean that you're with child—two of them?" Keella laughed. "Yes, I know. Congratulations are in order. This is such a blessing," she said sincerely. "I didn't say anything before since I wasn't sure you were aware, but that's not what I wanted to discuss."

"Did you know when I was brought here before?" I asked, even though I was curious about what else she had to say.

"That's a complicated question to answer." She gazed up at the clouds. "Sensing the souls of unborn babes is not always easy and it varies from soul to soul, but with you, you were carrying Sotoria's soul. That acted almost as a shield. And afterward, well, there wasn't much time."

"No, there wasn't." I looked over at her. "I'm not going to make Sotoria be reborn again. Once Kolis is entombed, we want to give Sotoria a choice. Either to be reborn or to cross into the Vale. I'm hoping that will be something Ione will be able to assist us with."

"She will be able to." Keella was still looking at the sky. "I'm not surprised to hear you say that. I didn't think the idea of forcing her to be reborn with the sole purpose of destroying Kolis would sit well with you."

I nodded. "So, what was it you wanted to discuss?"

Her gaze lowered to mine. "It is Sotoria I actually wanted to speak with you about—her and the prophecy." She glanced back at the chamber. "It's something I didn't say when you two were here last—something Eythos told me, and my…my impressions of what he planned."

Curiosity rose. "What is it?"

Keella was silent for several moments. " Eythos spent a long time trying to decipher the prophecy and its true meaning. He even managed to speak to Delfai . I imagine the God of Divination didn't share that with you and Nyktos ."

"No," I stated. "He did not."

A wry grin appeared. "When Eythos spoke with Delfai , it was when Etris Balfour—the last oracle—was still alive."

My brows shot up. I wasn't expecting her to say that.

"I don't know exactly what Etris or Delfai said to Eythos , but whatever was shared led Eythos to place the embers and Sotoria's soul into your bloodline. That was no random chance of opportunity."

I frowned. "But Roderick Mierel summoned him to save his people."

Keella nodded. "And Eythos was waiting for that moment. He knew Roderick would do so. You see, this prophecy had begun to fulfill itself before Sotoria was born. It started with the Silver Knight."

"The warrior Queen," I said, immediately thinking about what Ward had told me. "I'm named after her. Ward—the first viktor —saved who turned out to be my ancestor."

"She was, as one would say, promised by the Fates," she said. "Just like you."

Tiny bumps pimpled my skin. "So, you're basically saying Etris, or possibly even Delfai , told Eythos Roderick would summon him? It makes sense. The prophecy spoke of the desperation of golden crowns, but this really doesn't tell us anything new."

"No, but it does remind us how much needed to happen for us to be right here, right now," she said, pausing to inhale deeply. "What Eythos did was never just about stopping his brother. Yes, the prophecy spoke of Kolis, but also of greater dangers."

"The awakening of the Primal of Blood and Bone," I surmised.

"Yes, and what Eythos learned convinced him of who that Primal would be."

My fingers dug into my knees. "Do I even want to know?"

A wan smile appeared. " Sotoria ."

"What?" I half-laughed. "How? She was mortal."

"So were you."

"Yeah, the moment that came out of my mouth, I realized how unwise it sounded," I admitted. "But this is different. I don't understand how that's possible."

"Neither do I. Eythos never said, but I do know that is why he put her soul in your bloodline," she said. " Eythos was trying to circumvent the prophecy, Sera. He hoped she would be reborn with the embers of life in her—allowing her to stop Kolis and make way for Nyktos to rise as the true Primal of Death. It would have also prevented her from rising as the Primal of Life and Death since he believed the prophecy referenced his son and Sotoria coming together in love."

A deep frown pulled at my lips at the idea of Sotoria being the one meant for Ash, even though that would've still technically been me. I rubbed my temples, thinking this was going to give me a headache.

"That is why he asked for the firstborn daughter of the Mierel bloodline," she continued. "And if he was right, then in his mind, there would be no threat of Sotoria rising as the Primal of Blood and Bone. To do so, it would've required her to kill Nyktos —something she would not do if she loved him."

"Okay," I said, following what she was saying. "But that didn't work. I'm not Sotoria , and her soul is in The Star."

"Correct. His plan worked, except for that." She looked at the pastel-colored clouds. "And his plan should've worked completely. My involvement ensured that. But something went impossibly wrong, and for that to have happened, there can only be one reason."

"The Fates got involved." My brows knitted. "They prevented Sotoria from being reborn in my bloodline. Why would they do that, though? They cannot want the Ancients to awaken."

"You must remember that prophecies are the dreams of the Ancients." Her eyes searched mine. "And you also know what that means."

I did. Dreamt by the Ancients meant dreamt by the Fates, and Keella was old enough to know exactly who the Fates were. I didn't speak any of that aloud, opting for a nod as the safest choice.

"And that means most of those Fates expect all that is said in the prophecy to happen," she said softly. "I don't know why they would want that, but their involvement ensured it is still possible."

My heart started pounding. "I don't understand how it can be possible. If Sotoria were reborn, she would be as she was before. A mortal."

"Unless the Fates intervene once more," she said. "It's imperative you follow through with what you plan regarding Sotoria . She needs to be freed as soon as it is safe to do so."

"Well, it's a good thing we already planned to do that," I said. "But what will stop the Fates from intervening even then—?" Then it struck me. "Because what is shown in the prophecy happens in the future. That is what Penellaphe said. If Sotoria were reborn now, she would live and die as a mortal long before what Penellaphe saw in the future could happen."

"Correct."

Something big still didn't make sense, and that came back to her. Sotoria . "Why Sotoria ? Why would the Ancients dream of a mortal becoming such a powerful being? It's not because of what Kolis did to her. That dream happened long before that."

"That, I don't know," she said. "And if Eythos knew, he never said."

Closing my eyes again, I took a deep breath and exhaled slowly. I needed to release Sotoria's soul the moment Kolis was entombed and not a second after. If not?

Opening my eyes, I looked at her. "Do you believe the future is already written? That the threads that last cannot be unbroken?"

"I do not know," she said after a moment. "I hope to know the answer once I reach Arcadia."

Gods, I hoped so. Because if I failed now, and the threads of Fate kept stretching and expanding, Kolis wouldn't be the only problem Ash and I would one day face.

Lost in our thoughts, the Primal and I sat there briefly until Keella patted my arm. "It's time."

And it was.

Ash and Ione joined us while Nektas quietly crossed the veranda to walk the manicured lawn. I forced a smile when Ash sent me a curious look. As Ione moved to a divan across from Keella's , I pushed all I had learned to the farthest corners of my mind while Ione knelt, swearing her allegiance to us. Because as long as we didn't fail, I would not have to burden Ash with this.

I drank from Ione's wrist and took what I knew, building a wall of shadowstone and Ancient bone in my mind to place it behind. As my fangs pierced my skin and Ash let out a low growl at the sight, I built a shield. As Ione drank from me, I made myself forget what I had learned until I needed to remember it. And while I knelt at Keella's side and drank from the wound she had created herself, I prayed to the Fates—to the Ancients—that I would never have to remember.

When I felt Keella's last sluggish heartbeat, I lifted my head. Her breathing was shallow as she stared at the sky of her Court. Not once since we'd begun had she taken her gaze from it.

I still held on to her hand as I felt the warmth leave her. "Thank you," I said. I wasn't sure if I was thanking her for this sacrifice or for what she'd warned me about. Maybe both.

Ash knelt beside me, folding his arm around my waist. He placed his hand over mine and Keella's . "May the next journey bring you peace."

Tears blurred my vision as Keella's eyes fluttered and then closed. Her chest rose once more and did not fall, and then my chest flared with heat. I released the breath I held as a draken let out a mournful call in the distance.

"She looks so peaceful," I whispered. There was a smile on her lips and a tranquil ease to her features.

"She was ready," he said, catching a tear with the swipe of his thumb over my cheek.

I nodded, wanting that to make me feel better, but it really didn't. Letting go of her hand, I started to rise when it happened.

It started with one below her left eye. Then, two more on her chin. Ten along her throat. A dozen appeared on her forearm. They were like freckled stars, starting out as tiny pinpricks of light until eather seeped from her pores. The shimmery, silvery-white wave of light swept over her entire body, pulsing with a blinding intensity that forced both Ash and me to stand and move back.

Strands of eather unfurled, weaving delicate ribbons that stretched with an ethereal glow. I turned to where Ione sat, tears glimmering on her cheeks as she rose and stepped forward. Tendrils of eather illuminated the space between Keella and Ione as I stepped back into Ash's arms. I rested my cheek against his chest as the Primal energy threaded itself with Ione, and I felt the oath Ione had made lodge itself deeply within my chest.

In a loud clap of energy released, the radiant glow where Keella lay was gone.

And so was the Primal.