CHAPTER FIFTY

"Well." Attes cleared his throat, breaking the tense silence left in the wake of Phanos's departure. "I assume all those who remain have done so because we are of like minds?"

There were several nods.

"Then let's get this show on the road." Attes stepped forward and knelt, placing his left palm against the stone floor. "I will happily reaffirm that oath."

I jolted as essence crackled from his right hand. All thoughts of Phanos and the others vanished as raw energy licked over his palm before shifting into a pommel and then a hilt. The eather spun out, forming a long blade. He crossed the sword of eather over his chest.

"With my sword and my life," he said, his voice echoing throughout the chamber. "I swear to you, the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon, the true Primal of Life and the Queen of the Gods and Common Man."

Gods, that was still such a long title.

I felt something in my chest. Something different than when he'd made the pledge before. This sensation was very similar to how the embers felt, as if a piece of Attes's essence now resided inside me.

His gaze shifted to Ash. "And I swear to you, the Asher, the One who is Blessed, the Guardian of Souls and the Primal God of Common Men and Endings, to honor your command with the full might of Vathi." Attes bowed his head.

The flames above the candles flickered wildly as a ripple of energy coursed through the chamber.

"Thank you," I whispered.

A dimple appeared on Attes's cheek.

"You may rise," Ash said. "And you also have my thanks."

Attes's head lifted, and the sword of eather collapsed. Both dimples were out in full force as he rose. I was happy to see them.

Bele stepped forward, her gaze locking with mine. "I know you're probably thinking that it's unnecessary for me to do this."

I was.

"But it's not. I'm proud to do it," Bele said, looking between Ash and me before following suit. A sword of eather appeared in her right hand. "With my sword and my life, I swear to you, the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon, the true Primal of Life and the Queen of the Gods and Common Man. And I swear to you, the Asher, the One who is Blessed, the Guardian of Souls and the Primal God of Common Men and Endings, to honor your command with the full might," Bele paused, raising her eyebrow sardonically, "of Sirta."

My lips twitched as another wave of energy whipped the flames about, and I once more felt that strange sensation in my chest. "Thank you, Bele."

"No need to thank me." She lifted her head. "But can I rise now?"

"Yes," I said, wanting to laugh, but my throat felt too thick to allow it.

Penellaphe followed suit, summoning her sword of eather and speaking her vows. We thanked her, and then the beautiful Primal Goddess of Love, Beauty, and Fertility cleared her throat.

"I have stood aside for too long and for too many reasons." Her sandy-blond hair slipped over her shoulders as she knelt. "I will no longer do so."

A sword of eather took shape, its light glittering off her smooth, yellowish-brown cheeks. "I swear to you, the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon, the true Primal of Life and the Queen of the Gods and Common Man." As the sensation of Penellaphe's oath faded, I felt a part of Maia take root in my chest. Her gaze shifted to Ash. "And I swear to you, the Asher, the One who is Blessed, the Guardian of Souls and the Primal God of Common Men and Endings, to honor your command with the full might of Kithreia ." The candles' flames rose several inches as Maia bowed her head.

I thanked her. Ash told her we were honored, and when she rose, I saw determination etched into her features.

As she moved back, the Primal Goddess of Rebirth stepped from behind the group. Rich brown hair slipped over her shoulders as she tilted her head back to stare up at Ash and me.

Eather streaked across her eyes, filling them until they turned the shade of a polished diamond. "I think both of you know that I believe in you," she said, her lips curving into a smile, but there was something off about it. "But I cannot swear an oath to you—to either of you."

Shock whipped through me, and the entire chamber went silent. Clearly, no one else had been expecting that response either.

"Why?" Ash asked.

"When I assisted Eythos with Sotoria's soul, I upset the balance. My involvement shifted the future of the realms. Without it, Sotoria would've passed into the Vale," she said, and I saw Penellaphe fold a hand over her mouth. "And when the balance is unequal, it must be fixed."

"Kolis would've found her and brought her back." Anger was quickly replacing my shock. "How is that not an upset to the balance?"

"It is. And based on how things have turned out for Kolis, I believe he has paid that price, just as I have had to."

"What?" Ash demanded roughly. "What price were you forced to pay?"

Her chest rose with a weighted breath. "To right the balance, the Fates decided that I must swear a blood oath to Kolis, one that prevents me from ever using my Court against him."

My mouth dropped open.

"What the fuck?" Bele exploded. "How is that a suitable fix ?"

"I cannot answer that," Keella stated. "But I can only assume that, in their minds, it ensures that I cannot be persuaded in—as the Fates presented it to me—‘affairs that do not involve me.'"

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "Which Fate made you do this?"

Penellaphe's head jerked in my direction.

"Kyros," she said.

Thank the gods it wasn't Holland because there was a good chance I would lose my shit.

"I know that one." Nektas's lip curled. "Never liked him."

"I wasn't too fond of him myself." The wan smile appeared once more on Keella's lips. "But it is not the Fates who decide such things. It is the essence of the realms."

Once more, I wasn't sure how much I believed that. Holland had intervened, as had Aydun in a way. I had a feeling that even this Kyros walked that fine line.

"You never should have been dragged into this," Ash spoke, the sorrow clear in his tone. "I am sorry that you were."

"I'm not. I don't regret my actions. Nor do I regret what must be done next." Her chin lifted. "The oath I made is between Kolis and me, not my Court."

"No," Ash gasped, sending a sense of dread through me.

"It's okay." Keella's smile deepened, and this time, it reached her eyes. "I am very old, Nyktos . Not much younger than Kolis. And with each passing year, it becomes harder to remember the small pleasantries in life and for those we should protect."

I sucked in a too-short breath as understanding flooded me. I pressed a hand to my chest when Maia's eyes closed.

Keella's gaze shifted to me. "We stood against the Ancients in defense of the mortals, each of us knowing the day would come when it would be us who lost the ability to care for them. To continue to see their beauty and appreciate them, flaws and all. I have passed that time."

"I don't believe that. You are not cold and cruel," I insisted.

"That is only because I still care enough to force myself to be warm and kind." She took another breath, then looked at Maia and Attes . "You two understand."

"I don't want to," Maia whispered. "But I do."

Attes nodded when Keella met his stare, his jaw clenched.

I racked my brain for an answer that didn't involve this. "Can't you go into stasis? Wouldn't that help?"

"It would if I'd been able to do so many years ago. And perhaps if Kolis hadn't done what he did, weakening all of us, infecting each and every one of us in some way. If so, sleep would help now. But even if I went into stasis, the Thyia Plains would still be my Court."

"Then we will fight without your Court," I decided. "We—"

"I am ready. I've been ready," Keella interrupted. "It's okay."

"No." Emotion thickened my voice. I didn't know Keella all that well, but I liked her, and this wasn't fair. "It's not okay."

"There is so much mortal left in you, Seraphena . I hope that does not fade," she said. Ash placed his hand against my lower back. "But you are thinking of me as if I am mortal and on the verge of death. I am not dying. I will pass on to Arcadia, transformed."

I had no idea what she meant by transformed, and my intuition was silent on that. It was not for those outside of Arcadia to fully understand, but what she spoke of was like death. And it would feel like that to those of us who remained.

"You understand, don't you, Nyktos ?" she asked.

His hand moved in soothing circles on my back as he said, "I do."

Keella smiled. "I've spent the last couple of years preparing Ione for what I knew would come. She will be loyal to both of you and do all she can to stop Kolis."

I squeezed my eyes shut. Drawing in a shallow breath, I pulled myself together. Just as Ash and the others had done. I would have to mourn the loss of Keella . My lashes felt damp when I opened my eyes.

Ash's exhale was heavy. "When will this happen?"

"I must attend to some affairs first," Keella said. "But we will not want to wait long. Ione will need time to go through the Ascension."

"Okay," I said, my throat stinging. "When you're ready, I will do what needs to be done."

Tables and chairs had been brought into the throne room, along with drinks, as a good part of the evening was spent discussing our plans with our allies.

It felt strange to continue discussing plans after what Keella had shared, but here we were.

Moving on.

Maia had paled a little but said it needed to be done. Penellaphe had agreed, willing to do whatever was necessary to prevent further harm to the mortal realm.

Not gaining Phanos's support was a disappointment. If he attempted to protect Kolis from us, he had the soldiers and the ceeren to fight on land and at sea. Maia had suggested that it was possible he could change his mind. Neither Saion nor Rhahar was convinced of such. I allowed a little bit of hope to spark, but he still had a choice to make.

Each Primal knew that what we planned would come fast and hard. One would think the knowledge would've left a somber pall over the group, but there were smiles and warmth. Perhaps they were used to this.

I wasn't sure. But once we'd finished strategizing and Penellaphe shared that she had located Embris's stash of bones—it wasn't much, but it would help—what I had potentially discovered before the meeting surged to the surface.

My gaze fell on Maia. There was no way I was asking her.

I quietly excused myself. Ash wanted to step away with me, but I assured him that everything was fine, and I would return.

I made my way through the war room to the hall. I'd only gone a few steps before I heard Penellaphe calling my name. I turned, tangles twisting in my already knotted stomach. When I'd seen her last… I looked away, the back of my throat scalding with shame.

Penellaphe's steps slowed. She cleared her throat. "I wanted to see how you were but didn't want to ask in there."

"I'm…" I started to tell her I was okay but had a feeling she knew better. She'd seen me immediately after what I'd done. I took a deep breath, forcing myself to meet her gaze. It was strange seeing her with the silver eyes of a Primal. "I've been better."

A look of sympathy flickered across her features. Not pity. "I didn't get a chance to say this before. I'm sorry for your loss."

"Thank you." I exhaled long and slow. "How are you?"

"I'm okay." Her brow creased. "But I do feel a bit weird. Like I'm myself but…not."

A half-grin tugged at my lips. "I know the feeling."

She nodded. "Holland said it will eventually fade."

"It does." Mostly. But I figured I'd keep that part to myself. "I don't think I really gave you much of a choice when it came to the whole Ascension thing."

"It's okay," she was quick to say. "You knew me and weren't familiar with the other gods of Lotho . Your decision to Ascend me made sense."

"That wasn't the only reason. I trust you, and Holland clearly loves you. That tells me you're…well, a good person."

"Holland does have good taste, if I do say so myself."

I smiled at that. "I hope you are truly okay with this. It puts you in danger."

"I have been in danger in one way or another for centuries, Sera," she said. "But now I can do something about it instead of Holland or another. I couldn't before."

That made me feel better about cornering her into this role. "Will you be staying longer? There's something I need to do really quick."

"Yes. I'll be around."

"Okay." I started to turn.

"Sera?" Penellaphe clasped her hands. "Holland mourns with you."

My breath caught, and I couldn't speak through the sudden burn in my throat.

Penellaphe's smile was sad. "See you in a bit."

I watched her turn and walk back to the throne room, then closed my eyes. It'll get bette r, I told myself. I'll get better . Opening my eyes, I began my search for Aios .

Luckily, I was able to find her in the kitchens, speaking with Valrie . They were talking about bringing in additional cooks—something Rhain had discussed with me. Gods, that felt like eons ago—but I suspected she also wanted to be close to the throne room.

"How did the meeting go?" she asked as I led her down the hall.

"As well as can be expected. Phanos is a no but claims he will not support Kolis either," I told her. "Maia is on board."

"Wow," she murmured.

I glanced over at her. "Surprised?"

"A little." Her brows pinched. "But I haven't spent much time with her in a very long time." She looked at me closely when I all but pulled her into the library. "Is everything okay?"

I closed the doors behind me and then faced her. Smiling, I did my best to act normal. "Yes."

"Are you sure?" She moved deeper into the cavernous space, her pale lavender gown swishing at her ankles. It didn't matter how many wall sconces were turned on, the light only ever cast a dull glow over the rows and rows of books and little else. But Aios was like a fiery torch in the dimness. "Besides the fact that I wouldn't expect you to be after…what happened, your smile says otherwise."

"What's wrong with my smile?"

"Nothing," she was quick to say. "It's just a bit large." A pause. "Unsettlingly so. Just like Bele's when she's faking it."

My lips flattened. "Everything is fine," I said for what felt like the hundredth time in the last twenty minutes. "I just wanted to ask you something in private that has nothing to do with the Primals or the meeting."

Curiosity etched into her features, and she sat on one of the long, crimson-hued couches. "I'm all ears."

I opened my mouth, but I wasn't sure how to ask the question without coming right out with it. "What I'm going to ask is going to sound really random," I began, passing the rolling ladder, my stomach twisting into knots. I glanced at the portraits of Ash's parents and then quickly averted my attention. Why had I chosen this space out of all the many, many empty chambers? Sadness dusted it and everything in it.

"Sera?" Aios's brow creased. "I think I prefer the unsettlingly large smile over this."

I frowned. "What is my face doing now?"

"You look rather…panic-stricken."

Well, I was starting to feel rather panic-stricken now that I didn't have the meeting to distract me.

I walked behind the couch across from Aios and willed my nerves to settle. I didn't need Ash picking up on my emotions. "In the mortal realm, there were these older women who worshipped at Maia's Temples and were often sought for specific reasons."

A lock of red hair cascaded down her arm as she cocked her head to the side. "I know of whom you speak. The Matrons."

"Yes. Them." I made another pass behind the couch. "They were able to answer certain questions. How? I don't know. But I assume they were taught by Maia or gods from her Court."

The crease between Aios's brows spread to her forehead. "You would be correct." She tipped forward, watching me. "Why are you asking questions about this?"

My heart thudded. "I'm not even sure—I mean, I am. What I want to know doesn't have anything to do with them." Pressure started to build in my chest, causing me to draw in a deeper breath. Stopping, I grasped the back of the couch. Keep it together. The last thing I needed was for Ash to run out of the throne room in search of me. "Are you able to tell if someone is with child?"

Aios's lips parted. They moved, but I didn't hear any sound. It could've been the blood pounding in my ears because, all of a sudden, sound came rushing back. "Surely, you don't mean…?" She hesitated as if saying the words aloud would make them real and she had to prepare herself. "Do you think you're with child?"

"What?" I laughed—or screeched like a large bird of prey. "No."

Aios stared at me. "Then why are you asking?"

"Because…" I dropped my forehead onto the back cushion and groaned. "Obviously, I'm asking for myself. And, honestly, I'm probably just overreacting. But you see, I've been nauseous lately, and I think I'm late." My fingers pressed into the cushion as something occurred to me. "I've been really emotional, too. I want to cry over everything and anything, and that isn't me. And I'm actually really late. That could simply be because of stress. A lot has happened." Forcing myself to lift my head, I looked over at Aios . "Are you able to tell me if I'm overreacting?"

Aios's mouth snapped shut, and she blinked rapidly. "I can."

My heart felt like it fell onto the floor. "Then you know?"

"Yes. No." She gave me a quick shake of her head. "I mean, I don't know simply by looking at you, but you were right when you said a lot has happened. You've been through a lot of stress, both physical and emotional. That can do all manner of things to the body."

Beneath my fingers, the backing of the couch creaked. "I know."

"And it's doubtful you would begin feeling symptoms so soon."

I wanted so badly to believe that. "But it isn't that soon."

"It's fairly difficult for Primals to conceive. Plus, you just Ascended into Primalhood , Sera. You were mortal before then. You would not have been able to conceive."

"Yeah, see, that's what I thought, but how mortal was I with Primal embers inside me? How mortal was I after taking Nyktos's blood?" I said. "Which I did more than once before the Ascension."

Aios's chest rose sharply against the delicate lacing of her bodice. "I…I didn't think about that. There's no one else like you. I suppose it could be possible, but…"

"I had this dream, or maybe it was a vision, while in stasis—" I closed my eyes for a heartbeat. "I saw two cubs."

"What?" she exclaimed.

"I saw my nota form, and then I saw two smaller versions of her," I said.

"Two?" Aios whispered.

"Two."

"Fates, Sera." Her throat worked on a swallow, and her shoulders squared. "I can tell you if you are. I would just need to place my hand on your stomach," she explained, her silver eyes wide. "You really think you're with child?"

A rather huge part of me screamed no. If I didn't know for sure, then I could continue on with, well, everything until I found out for myself one way or another. I wouldn't have to think about how I would accomplish everything while with child…or two. I wouldn't have to worry about how Ash would respond or—oh, gods—the fact that I could be responsible for another human being. Like really responsible, and not in some vague, Primal of Life and Queen of the Gods sort of way. I could have weeks, maybe even a month of not having to deal with what would be a fairly large complication. I could just pretend. I was really good at that.

But that was irresponsible. And while I was that on most days, I wasn't actively, idiotically irresponsible. Mostly. I cringed, thinking of what I'd done.

Aios opened her mouth and then closed it.

She rose. Her gown whispered over the stone as she quietly approached me. Coming to stand beside me, she smiled. "It will be easier if you straighten," she said. "You can still hold on to the couch if you'd like."

For a moment, I had utterly no idea what she was talking about. Then I realized I was still hunched over, clasping the back of the couch.

Gods.

Prying my fingers loose and straightening, I saw I'd left dents in the backing. "I'm not acting like a…a badass Primal right now."

Her smile softened. "You're acting like someone whose entire life may change in a matter of moments."

A whooshing motion swept through my chest, almost as if my heart decided it wanted nothing to do with this and had exited my body. "That didn't help."

"But that's the reality." Aios took my hand, and I jumped. I actually jumped . Her chin dipped. "Most people would be this nervous, Sera. Even if they were hoping for a yes."

Throat drying, I swallowed hard. "Okay."

"I need to touch your stomach—your bare stomach," she informed me.

"All right." Knees feeling weak, I grasped the skirt of the gown and lifted it above my waist. " Aios —" I stopped myself.

"What?"

Pressing my lips together, I shook my head. What I was thinking… "What if I am?" My voice cracked as those knots in my stomach doubled in size. "We have many fights ahead—"

"Let's cross that bridge when we get to it," she cut in.

"We're crossing that bridge right now," I countered. "Everything will change."

"It could." Her steady gaze held mine. "But it doesn't have to."

Air wheezed from my lungs. I knew what she meant.

"We just need to get to that point first," she continued, her voice gentle. "Okay?"

Unable to speak, I nodded.

"It will only take a few seconds." Her gaze lowered slightly.

The touch of her hand was surprisingly cool, and I jerked a little. She murmured an apology, her hand flattening just below my navel. I held my breath, counting as the glow of eather pulsed behind her pupils. Thin streaks radiated out, crisscrossing her irises. Her expression didn't change. There wasn't even a flicker of a muscle when she withdrew her hand.

The aura faded from behind her pupils, and she lifted her gaze to mine. What felt like a small eternity passed, but in reality, it could have only been a heartbeat or two.

She took a breath, and I could no longer breathe. "You're with child. Two of them."