CHAPTER TWO

I woke on a hard, damp surface to a humming sound and a scent much like leather being tanned over a flame, but this smell was far too sweet and putrid. Way worse than the scent of stale lilacs. Where was…?

The white mist.

The darkness.

Ash .

I jerked upright, and my eyes flew open to a void of complete darkness.

"Ash!" I shouted, wincing as my voice echoed, mingling with what no longer sounded like humming but moans resembling a haunting chorus of hungry spirits.

A shiver tiptoed down my spine, causing tiny bumps to flood my skin, and that was all I felt. I pressed my palm to my chest, feeling the softness of Ash's linen shirt.

"Oh, damn," I whispered. There was no buzz of eather . No underlying thread of power just under my flesh.

I had to be dreaming.

Except…

Except the damp, cold stone beneath me felt too real, and that stench was so thick and rich I could practically taste it.

Suddenly, I remembered what I'd sensed before the darkness came. Something ancient .

My stomach churned, and I shifted onto my knees. Where was Ash? Panic knotted in my chest as I tried to make sense of what was happening. My throat constricted, making it even more difficult to breathe. I saw absolutely nothing around me as I started pushing to my feet. Just pitch-blackness.

Two pinpricks of silver light appeared. I halted in a crouch, my heart racing. The twin spheres seemed to double in size. Another set flickered into existence, and then a third, each growing as the one before them had. My lips parted, and I stared at the lights. I…I didn't think they were orbs.

They looked like eyes glowing with eather .

I slowly straightened, my already pounding heart speeding up. My fingers tingled with how fast the blood pumped through me. I may not be able to feel the essence inside me or that uncanny intuition, but all my other senses were firing. Sudden, icy dread seized me, turning my voice hoarse. I croaked, "Hello?"

The lights vanished.

A heartbeat passed. Other than the moaning, there was only silence. I took a step forward. A rush of charged air stopped me. Golden embers sparked in multiple places, igniting all around me. Flames erupted, casting a shining light onto the iron sconces. My gaze instinctively tracked the glow as it spread across dull, gray stone walls in some sort of cavern, bearing markings I'd seen in the Shadow Temples and on the Pillars of Asphodel—circles with vertical lines through them. The skin behind my left ear tickled. My Primal intuition kicked in then, and I continued following the light. Those marks were the symbol of Death. Of true Death—

I wasn't alone.

Every muscle tensed as my body flashed hot and then cold. Three figures sat before me on horseback, their heads bowed and cloaked, bodies hidden in robes of white that rippled. Three horses that were nothing but bones and tendons were also covered by pale shrouds.

I'd seen them before. At the Pillars. I remembered their names. I could even hear Nektas speaking them now.

Polemus . Peinea. Loimus .

War. Pestilence. Hunger.

They were the riders of the end of everything , only summonable by the true Primal of Life.

Every instinct I possessed, both the old and the new, screamed at me to run because these beings had never been mortal or god. They were primordial. Not Ancients, but created by them. That was why they felt like them.

But an innate knowledge warned me that if I ran, I would fail. I had no idea at what, so I held myself rigid.

The rider in the middle moved an arm, reaching inside the folds of its cloak. It withdrew a sword with a dull ivory hilt and a blade the color of blood.

"Prove yourself," a voice rasped through the air, rattling like old, dry bones.

My eyes widened when the rider turned the sword, holding it toward me, hilt first. I had a feeling this was Polemus . War.

Having no idea what the rider meant, I didn't dare move to take the sword. "W-where is Ash?"

Silence.

Maybe they didn't know him by that name? Seemed unlikely, but I cleared my throat anyway. "Where is Nyktos ?"

"The Primal of Death is safe," the rider replied, its voice causing my skin to prickle. "Prove yourself."

"I want to see him."

"Prove yourself."

Chest thudding, I hopscotched between fear and anger. "I want to see him," I repeated. "Now."

"You must prove yourself, Primal."

The one to the left of the middle spoke, its voice brittle and aged. Peinea , I thought. Pestilence. "Prove yourself worthy."

"Prove myself worthy?" I stiffened even further, belly-flopping right into anger. "Of what and why?"

Words scratched their way from the third rider, who had to be Loimus . Hunger. "Prove yourself worthy of the crown and bearing the weight of Life."

"Yeah…" I scanned the space. There appeared to be no openings beyond some thin cracks and fissures, but there had to be. How else could I have gotten in here? "No offense, but I have no interest in proving that, nor do I have plans to summon the three of you anytime soon, so—" The stench of burning meat increased, threatening to choke me. "What is that godsforsaken smell?"

"Souls sentenced to the pits," Polemus answered.

My jaw went slack as the rider's words repeated in my head. The pits? That had to mean… "I'm in the Abyss?"

"Prove yourself," Polemus stated for what seemed like the hundredth time.

My hands curled into fists. "Look, I almost died, and that was after being held captive by an insane Primal. And now I've been taken into the Abyss against my will. So, thank you for that new trauma. I have no idea if my husband is safe or in the process of burning down the realm to find me—a realm I am supposed to lead, despite barely being able to finish a completed thought. And all I want is one nice night with my—" A horse whinnied, stopping my tirade. I forced myself to take a deep breath and calm down. These beings were as old as the Ancients. "Instead, I'm standing here in just a shirt, and I'm freaking hungry."

"Prove yourself," Loimus replied.

My head snapped in the rider's direction. "I swear to the gods if one of you says prove yourself one more time, I will—"

Polemus threw the sword at me. Literally chucked it without even a heads-up.

Cursing, I lurched to the side just in the nick of time. The weapon flew past me. "What in the actual—?" I gaped when the sword froze inches from striking the wall and remained there, hovering as if suspended by invisible strings.

"You must prove yourself," Polemus stated.

I closed my eyes and inhaled deeply. Immediately, I regretted doing the latter. The smell gagged me. Forcing my breathing to slow, I quickly thought over my options. I wasn't idiotic enough to challenge the riders, not when I knew they were something created by the Ancients, and I couldn't feel even a single bit of essence in me. And that earlier feeling? The intuition that warned me I would fail if I ran? It was still there, pressing down on me. I didn't really understand it, but apparently, I needed to do something .

I quickly came to the reluctant understanding that if I didn't do what they wanted, I would likely spend eternity here with the riders saying the same thing repeatedly.

Growling, I stalked toward the sword. The minute my flesh came into contact with the hilt, it warmed. I looked down, feeling the weight. It was almost as heavy as a broadsword. The weapon was some sort of crimson stone that reminded me of the sheer, vertical cliffs in the mountains of the Shadowlands.

My gaze shifted to the hilt. It didn't seem to be made of any type of common material. If I didn't know any better, I would've sworn it was made of bone. My lip curled in disgust. Yeah, it was best I not think about that.

"Fine," I barked, facing the riders. "Let's get this over with."

Polemus held up his right hand. I tensed, expecting them to charge me, but that didn't happen.

Flames roared, billowing toward the ceiling. Crimson light filled the markings etched into the stone. I took a step back, and the carvings all along the cavern suddenly appeared as if they were soaked in glowing blood.

"What…what's going on?" I asked.

There was no answer. Dust fell from the ceiling in a fine shower, drawing my gaze upward. A dark red glow filled the fissures there, the light becoming so radiant that it stung my eyes. My vision blurred as the light seeped from the cracks, spilling into the space between the riders and me.

With wide eyes, I watched the light pulse and grow, expanding until it took shape before me, becoming solid. Terrifying .

"You've got to be kidding me," I spat, and the golden flames calmed, casting dancing shadows across the cavern walls as I stared at the menacing green-and-blue-scaled creature looming over me.

I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

The beast was massive, at least twice as tall as I was, and had the body of a draken . Powerful legs and sharp claws that could not only clearly slice through flesh as if it were nothing but tissue paper but were also part of paws large enough to encircle the entirety of my waist. Its chest and torso were broad and muscular. The tail was thick and spiked, but that was where the similarities between it and the draken ended.

The thing had multiple heads.

Three, to be exact.

And its eyes, all three sets of them, were a brilliant shade of glowing silver, glinting with eather .

Possibly as bad as the three heads was its smell. It was rank. A stench somewhere between that of a rotting corpse and brimstone.

"Prove yourself," one of the riders ordered. "And slay the monster."

They expected me to fight this thing with nothing more than a sword? No armor? Not even a pair of boots or pants? And on an empty stomach?

"I feel like I'm extremely underprepared for this," I muttered, tensing.

Forked tongues hissing, the creature's left and right heads swayed in unison while the center remained still. It extended its long limbs, dragging wickedly sharp claws across the stone floor.

Breathe in . Reality or not, years of training with Holland had taught me that the first thing to do was to silence the mind. Hold . I couldn't think about Ash. What was happening outside the cavern, or what I faced after this—if I didn't get eaten by this thing. Breathe out. I couldn't even think about why this was happening. Hold. I had to shut it all down and focus only on the nightmare standing before me.

It wasn't like donning the veil of nothingness and becoming an empty vessel or a blank canvas. This was far more natural. There was no struggle or resistance when I silenced my thoughts and tensed my muscles. I became something I was far better suited for than being a Queen.

A fighter.

A warrior.

But that wasn't the only thing Holland had taught me. I firmed my grip on the sword. Sometimes, it wasn't best to strike first, especially when you weren't at a safe distance and were facing a new adversary. I had no idea what this beast was capable of, so I braced and waited.

I didn't have to wait long.

The middle head rose, coiling back in a fluid, serpentine manner that sent a chill of revulsion coursing through me. A heartbeat passed—

Striking as fast as the pit vipers found near the Cliffs of Sorrow, the left head shot toward me, its mouth stretching open to reveal fangs as long as my finger. I lurched to the side and then jumped back, expecting the right head to make a move. It did. The second head snapped toward me, leaving me only seconds to spin out of its reach.

Holding the sword level, I gritted my teeth and darted forward, my bare feet quick on the stone. I dipped under the sweep of the creature's claws and lunged, driving the sword into its chest. Or trying. The blade hit scales, and the impact jarred my arms.

Shock rippled through me, and I danced back. The scales were like some sort of armor.

Inching back farther, I caught sight of the shrouded riders and indicated with the sword. "You couldn't have given me something that actually works?"

"Prove—"

"Yeah," I cut Loimus off, focusing on the beast's scales. There were slivers of flesh between them, each maybe an inch or two long. " Prove yourself . You don't have to keep repeating it."

Like a mountain of muscle and scales, the beast charged, its claws digging into the stone. I spun to the right and dipped as it rose, thrusting up with the sword with more precision than before. I hit a spot between the scales, and there was little resistance this time. Flesh gave way. Cold, rancid blood spurted into the air, spraying my chest and face.

Gods.

The creature howled, rearing back as its tail scratched against stone and whipped toward me. Cursing, I jerked the blade free and jumped out of the way. I whirled, just as its right head struck. Lifting the heavy sword with a grunt, I spun and sliced down with the blade, aiming for the vulnerable spots between its armored neck scales.

My stomach churned as the blade sank through muscles and tendons. The creature shrieked, and the right head hit the floor, shattering into a puddle of foul blood.

Smirking, I leveled the sword once more and lifted my gaze. "So, which head—?" My mouth dropped open.

Before my eyes, red light streaked out from the stump as the beast thumped its tail. A brand-new head sprouted, mirroring the other two.

"What in the actual fuck?" I growled, frustration crashing into fury.

Anger pounded through me, and I lunged at the beast. It turned quickly, moving faster than I would've thought possible, and something Sir Holland had once said when he'd only been a mortal knight training me to fight registered.

" Never let anger best you in battle . It is an act of a fool to use death's most favored weapon. "

Gods, I was a fool.

Lurching back from at least two pairs of snapping jaws, I realized I'd taken my eyes off the rest of it.

An arm or leg—whatever—shot through the air. The beast seized me in a crushing grip. Bones ground together as it lifted me off my feet. Pain erupted, momentarily stunning me. My hands spasmed reflexively. The sword fell from my grip, clanging off the floor. With a ruthless jerk of its arm, it sent me hurtling through the air.

I slammed into the cavern wall, the contact knocking the air from my lungs. Agony shot down my spine. I hit the floor, rendered prone as a wave of torment crested.

A rider sighed. "Disappointing."

Sucking in a ragged breath, I rolled onto my side. "Comments are…unnecessary," I groaned, so done with this.

Shifting onto my knees, I rocked back. I caught sight of the sword lying a few feet in front of the beast. I needed to figure out how to take this thing down and do it quickly. Obviously, the space between the scales was vulnerable, but I'd pierced its chest. That had done nothing. And severing its head? It had simply grown another.

I lifted my gaze and peered through the strands of my hair. The two heads were swaying once more. The middle was still. Our gazes locked. Its eyes glimmered with more than just eather . There was hunger there, but also intelligence.

My gaze shifted to the other two heads. The glow of their eyes wasn't nearly as brilliant. Was it possible that those heads were more like limbs? If I took the middle one out, would it kill the beast?

I had no idea, but it was a plan—one that didn't involve getting thrown into walls again.

Rising to my feet, I was surprised to find that most of the pain had already subsided. The beast's gaze met mine once more.

One.

Two.

Three.

Four.

Five.

I rushed forward, dipping to grab the sword. The beast struck with the two side heads. My blade glanced off the scales of the left neck. Seeking to distract it, I spun and brought the blade down on that area. The stench of putrid blood increased. Sweat dotted my brow. Stone clashed against scales as I dodged the creature's relentless strikes and snapping jaws, dancing closer and closer until I saw spittle dripping from the middle head's fangs. Breathe in. Two of the heads drew back. Hold .

I lunged, blade arcing. With a swift slice, I cut through the air, the sword's tip striking the ground. Blood dripped from its length.

I'd found my mark.

The creature reared back, shuddering as it screeched. It stumbled, weaved toward the riders, and then moved away, its shrieks becoming quieter and less monstrous. Red light lit up the beast's body, following a scattered network of veins.

My breathing quick, I stepped back, torchlight gleaming off the bloodstained sword. The creature's legs went out from under it as the two remaining heads collapsed in a cascading, pulsing glow.

Lowering the sword, my lips started to curl up, but my smile quickly froze. Whatever triumph I'd begun to feel vanished.

Something was happening to the creature, and it wasn't death.

The beast was changing , its size shrinking and shifting under the flickering torchlight. Claws turned into hands and feet. Scales disappeared, replaced by flesh. Pants made of some sort of tattered burlap appeared, and…light brown hair. Suddenly, a male was on his hands and knees before me, trembling.

I knew. Dear gods, I knew before he even turned his head and I saw his features. Still, my heart stopped when my eyes locked with his—blue ones set in a face that had once been handsome but was now thin and filled with stark terror.

My stepbrother.

Tavius .

I went still, but my heart beat faster and faster. Unable to even look away, I stared at him, pressure clamping down on my chest.

He inhaled sharply, his entire body spasming. A guttural, wrenching sound came from his parched, cracked lips. His back bowed, body straining. His mouth contorted, stretching wide. Arms trembling, he gagged as something beneath the flesh and fragile bones of his throat moved upward, creating irregular bumps.

A fine tremor coursed through my arm as spittle ran down his chin. Strands of something several inches long that looked like slender, black ropes knotted at the ends fell from his wide mouth, spilling to the floor. He convulsed and continued to heave. His head kicked back, his jaw popped, and that cruel mouth of his gaped grotesquely around a thicker bundle of rope. Something oblong-shaped—solid and hard—pressed against his throat. His shoulders hunched violently as he gagged. His head bobbed—

Whatever it was worked itself free of his mouth, a handle attached to what I now knew were copper-twined leather strips.

A whip landed on the stone with a soft, reverberating thud.

The whip.

The one I could still hear hissing through the air. Still feel cracking against my skin. The one I had shoved down his throat.

Folding his arms across his chest and waist, Tavius rocked onto his knees. His entire body shook, and his head fell back. Saliva and blood-tinged mucus trailed from his mouth. Blood streaked his watery eyes. Our gazes met.

Time stopped.

It sped up.

" Please ," he whimpered.

My reaction was immediate. I didn't think. I was past that point. I wasn't in the cavern before the riders. I was in Wayfair's Great Hall, bound to the stone feet of the Kolis statue as Tavius humiliated me. Hurt me because he harbored within him the same kind of relentless, rotten evil that Kolis had. Attempted to ruin me, not because he truly believed I was a threat to his claim to the throne of Lasania , but because he was a man, and he could .

Dropping the sword, I snapped forward and slammed the heel of my foot into his side. Bones cracked. I could still feel his weight crushing me… The bastard cried out as he fell onto his back, clutching his side, but all I heard was him demanding that I beg with respect . I kicked him again and again. I stomped him, hitting each and every one of those ribs and the shadows between them that were visible beneath his flesh.

That wasn't enough.

Neither was his death.

Or the revenge I'd already gotten. Falling to my knees over him, I gripped his hair and jerked his head back. I brought my fist down, over and over, cracking and shattering bone, seeing his sneer when he'd thrown that bowl of dates at my face. I saw only the cruel glee he took in tormenting Princess Kayleigh, not split skin and caved-in bone. I kept hitting him—

"Prove yourself." A rider spoke. "And slay the monster."

I sucked in a heady breath and jerked my arm back. My knuckles were smeared with blood. I stared at Tavius's unrecognizable features. Slay the monster? I could do that. Gladly.

Rising to my feet, I stepped over the trembling piece of shit and picked up the sword. I straightened and turned back to him, dragging the tip of the crimson blade over the stone as I walked back to Tavius.

The promise I'd made to him before whispered in the back of my mind, but this time, I wouldn't promise to see him burn.

That wasn't good enough.

I smiled as Tavius rolled onto his side, curling up as if he could make himself the small, insignificant man he'd been when he was alive. My grip firmed as he trembled and shook. The curve of my lips spread. "You will not return to the pits," I hissed, and this time, my voice was full of fire instead of smoke. "You will cease to exist in any form. Every part of you will be gone."

Tavius stilled, one swollen, half-open eye fixing on me.

"The physical body. Your consciousness. Gone. You will be no more," I promised. "I am going to end you."

That one eye closed.

I lifted the sword above my head, barely feeling its weight—

Do not allow this to leave a mark.

Ash… He had said that when he realized I wanted to deliver the final blow to Tavius. Ash, a Primal of Death, had granted my request.

I'd gotten my revenge, right or wrong. I had it. Reveled in it because Tavius was a bad man. He had it coming, and my hands had delivered it.

"Prove yourself," Polemus ordered. "And slay the monster."

My heart thundered. I'd already slain this particular monster.

"Prove yourself." Loimus's whisper was a stale wind against my skin. "And slay the monster."

I'd done as promised: I'd sliced the hands from his body. While I hadn't carved his heart from his chest or set him on fire as I'd wanted, I had done enough. I'd made him pay, and it had not marked me because…

I was a monster. Like Tavius, just of a different sort.

Panting, I held the sword tighter. If one of the riders spoke, I could no longer hear them over the rushing of my thoughts: Was this right? Did he deserve a final death? Could I even make that choice when it came to him? Should I?

I blinked, my stomach churning. "I…"

"Prove yourself," Peinea urged.

"I can't," I said hoarsely. "It is not my place."

"You are the true Primal of Life," Polemus responded. "You may not rule the realm of the dead, but your will supersedes all."

My gaze cut to the shrouded riders.

"You are the Agna Udex and the Agna Adice ," Peinea said.

The Great Ruler.

The Great Condemner.

Robes stirred around Loimus . "It is your right, as you rule all. You hold within your hands the ability to reward and to condemn."

Dryness coated my mouth. My arm shook as my attention shifted back to Tavius.

"You did not hesitate before when you were in no position to take a life," Polemus said. "Why hesitate now when you bear the Crown of Crowns?"

That was a good question. It had been wrong then, and I'd done it without hesitation. I'd done it so many times, not really carrying any lasting guilt. Not even when I learned that by restoring the life of one mortal, I'd ended another's. Ash had said it was the influence of the Primal embers. Maybe he was right. Primals weren't meant to feel the way mortals do, not when it came to love and hate or life and death. Perhaps it was how I was raised—taught to become nothing. To feel nothing. It could've been the knowledge that I was nothing more than a sacrifice, a means to an end, that had sat side by side with me from the time I was old enough to understand my duty. Perhaps it was all those things that made me a monster of a different sort.

I didn't want to be that.

I never had.

But it was a choice. I knew that. Because Ash had carried that blood-soaked guilt deeper and longer than I had. Others were raised as I was, and some experienced worse conditions: being abused, neglected, or forgotten. Yet they were incapable of such terrible things.

I didn't want to be capable of such terrible things.

So, I made the choice not to be.

I would not be a monster.

"I will not condemn him." Staring at Tavius, I forced my grip to relax. The hilt slipped from my grasp, and the sword clanged against the floor. Murmurs came from the riders' direction, but something happened before I could look at them.

Tavius shuddered, and then he was…gone. There was nothing but empty space where he'd lain. The sword vanished in the next instant, and I stumbled back.

The horses each bent one bony knee, and all three of them lowered themselves. The riders' shrouded heads bowed, just as they had before on the road to the Vale.

"You have not slain the monster," Polemus said.

"But you have wounded it." This from Peinea.

"Because of that, you have been found worthy," Loimus added.

"Of us answering upon the time you summon us." Polemus's cloaked head lifted slightly, just enough for me to catch a glimmer of glowing, eather -lit eyes. "Until then."

Before I could say a word, their white-shrouded forms became transparent, like they were made of nothing more than smoke. Within seconds, I was alone in the torchlit cavern—alone with the knowledge that the monster I had been ordered to slay had been…

The one inside of me.