CHAPTER FIFTEEN

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

Reaver and I followed Ash and Rhain as we passed the throne room, Rhahar and Kars keeping pace behind us. I had no idea where the crowns were kept. If I had been told, I'd definitely forgotten. At first, I thought we were heading toward the war room, but it was an antechamber of it, accessed through a door that led to a narrow hall. "I was going to have them polished and made the discovery," Rhain told us, holding the door.

The chamber was small, and everything was white—the marble floor, painted walls, the ceiling, and the two pedestals in the center. The crown was the only thing that wasn't white.

Wait.

A crown.

Ash halted as I turned halfway, thinking I'd missed something, but there was nothing else in the space.

"What the…?" Rhahar exclaimed from behind us, his eyes going wide and filling with essence as Ash approached the pedestal.

"Where is your crown?" Reaver asked as he peered up at a pedestal as empty as the one in the foyer.

"I was asking the same thing." Rhain moved to stand behind the pedestals.

"Shit," Ash murmured, placing his palm on the flat surface. "Kolis." He turned to me, his eyes brightly lit. "Touch your crown."

"What?" I glanced at the beautiful crown I'd only worn once, taking in its shadowstone spires and glittering crescent moons.

"Just touch it," he insisted.

"I'm glad I understand the context of this conversation for once," Kars commented under his breath.

Rhahar turned to the godling. "Seriously?"

Kars shrugged.

"Wait." Ash stopped me. "Better yet, stand still."

I did as he asked. Reaver watched avidly. "I'm standing still, so will you tell me what your missing crown has to do with…?" I trailed off as the knowledge started to come to me. My eyes went wide.

Ash nodded.

Heart thundering, I watched Ash lift the crown and turn to me. Silently, he placed the crown on my head, and before I could even register its weight, the crown shuddered . The room was suddenly awash in bright, golden light.

Rhahar's hand fell from the hilt of his sword. "Holy—"

"Shit," Kar whispered as Rhain staggered back a step.

The fading golden glow warmed Ash's face as he reached for the crown again. His broad hands carefully lifted it from my head, and even though I knew what I was about to see, I couldn't believe it.

"Whoa," Reaver murmured.

Ash held the crown I'd last seen upon Kolis's head. "The Primal crowns are almost like a chora ," he said, referencing the type of animal that used to be formed from a Primal. "An extension of the Primal that can be summoned to them at will but only called to the true bearer of that crown."

I stared at the nine shining golden swords and the sun rising from the middle one, glittering with diamonds. As if seeking to confirm it was real, I touched the center sword. The gold turned luminous, casting soft light across the walls.

"Kolis must've tried to summon the crown," Ash said. "And what he got was likely not what he wanted to see."

Pulling my hand back, I looked up at him. "Your crown is now his," I whispered.

"And your head will bear the true crown of the Primal of Life," he replied.

"But yours—"

"It returned to its rightful owner," he cut in.

I didn't like that. Not for one second. "At least for now."

Ash's gaze met mine. "For now."

Much to Rhain's displeasure, I didn't wear the crown as Ash and I left the House of Haides. It just didn't feel right with Ash missing his.

Besides, I didn't believe a crown—no matter how glittery—made a Queen or King.

But all thoughts of crowns quickly fell to the wayside when the sweeping colonnade and endless archways of the City Hall came into view.

It seemed like it had only taken minutes, even though Ash had summoned the warhorse Odin from the silver band around his biceps instead of shadowstepping . That method would've been quicker. We wouldn't have needed nearly every guard on duty to surround us or the three draken that flew above us. But the moment it came time to leave, my stomach began dipping and lurching. My thoughts raced, telling me I would sound completely idiotic when I addressed the people. I knew without a doubt that Ash had picked up on my anxiety and had chosen to travel this way to give me time to, well, find my footing again.

He was too damn perfect because, even though I was still nervous, I was far calmer than I thought myself capable of.

Odin slowed as the draken glided toward the open coliseum, extending their wings to slow their descent. I watched as Ehthawn and his cousin Crolee landed on the colonnade. Pallas, a large, striking gray-and-black draken , followed, landing on the other side of the colonnade. I was pretty sure he was the one I'd spotted when I surveyed the armies.

But several more draken of various sizes were already perched on the columns. I quickly counted them. Ten. Nektas wasn't here yet, and I knew Mestra had taken Reaver back to Mount Rhee. I bet Liora was with them, along with two more draken , who would likely remain at Mount Rhee to watch over the younglings. I swallowed, having never seen so many draken in one location before.

As Odin came to a stop, I picked up on the hum of conversation coming from within the City Hall. I dragged in a deep breath of fresh air. There was no scent of burning oil as my gaze lowered and swept over the rows of armored soldiers. I didn't remember seeing the headpieces the last time I'd seen them standing before the City Hall. The steel-and- shadowstone helmets weren't something easily forgotten.

Instead of a decorative ridge of dyed horsehair, the steel and shadowstone had been shaped into a crown of horns that bore a resemblance to Nektas's . The cheek pieces swept out and up into draken wings. The helmets were as fierce as they were beautiful and were surely a fearsome sight in battle.

Rhahar and Kars had already gotten down from their horses and were waiting for us, along with Rhain. I knew Saion, Bele, and the twins were already inside the City Hall.

Along with likely everyone who called Lethe home.

Ash dismounted with a swift and graceful motion, landing lightly on his feet. His eyes caught mine as he reached up. Heart thudding, I took his hands, and he helped me down without pointing out how hard I was gripping his fingers.

He lowered his head to mine and whispered, "Breathe, liessa ."

I hadn't realized I had been holding my breath for over five seconds. It seemed I wasn't as calm as I thought I was. I sucked in a long, deep breath, drawing in his fresh, citrusy scent. Neither of us moved for a few moments. Could've been minutes. I stood there, shielded by his body and Odin's. He didn't move until my breathing steadied. Then he pressed his cool lips to my forehead.

He stepped back, and I gave Odin's glossy black mane one last pat, thankful that he didn't attempt to nip at my hand today. He hadn't last night either.

Apparently, he'd gotten over the whole me-trying-to-kill-Ash thing.

With my hand folded firmly in Ash's, we turned to the entry house as the three guards stepped to our sides.

Every soldier moved in perfect harmony, kneeling as they thumped their fists off their armor while two rows of about three dozen more faced one another, unsheathing shadowstone swords. They raised them high, creating a walkway.

"Wow," I murmured, my eyes wide as I realized the echo of their fists had silenced the chatter coming from within the City Hall.

One side of Ash's lips curved up as his thumb moved back and forth over mine. "You liked that?"

"It was rather impressive," I said as we walked forward.

I could hear the hiss of swords slicing through the air, lowering behind Rhahar , Kars, and Rhain as they followed us. That was how quiet the City Hall had become.

We passed through the doors of the entry house, and my gaze immediately flicked to the rounded archway leading to the City Hall's main floor. I remembered exactly how long the walk was from that doorway to the dais.

It felt like it took ten years.

"I'm going to head out," Rhain said, glancing between us as the doors of the entry house closed. "And announce your arrival."

"I wish we could just enter without it being a big deal," I admitted as Ash's thumb continued to sweep over my hand.

Rhain arched a brow. "It's tradition, Seraphena ."

"Sera," I murmured, eyeing the archway.

"And Rhain also likes to make the announcement," Rhahar commented, his shoulder brushing Rhain's as he moved to a narrow table along the opposite wall. "Because he's good at it."

The auburn-haired god's cheeks turned pink. "I'm excellent at it," Rhain corrected.

Rhahar snorted as he picked up a pitcher and then came to our side with two bronze chalices. "I believe it's mulled wine."

"Thank you." I accepted the chalice and took a hasty gulp. I barely tasted the spice.

Ash took a far more sedate drink as Lailah appeared in the archway, her braids swept back into a knot at the nape of her neck. "Everything should be ready in a few minutes."

Only a few minutes?

I took another drink, this time only a sip. "How many people are here?"

Lailah glanced back over her shoulder. "Everyone."

"Everyone?" I squeaked. That was a hundred thousand . My grip tightened on the chalice. Well, it would be more than that, actually, if one counted the new arrivals.

Holy shit.

"Go ahead and make your way out there," Ash said. "Just give us a couple of minutes before you make the announcement."

Rhain nodded, glancing briefly at me. He started to turn but stopped and spoke in a low voice, "You will do fine, Sera."

"Thank you," I whispered.

"Us, too?" Rhahar asked as Rhain passed him and entered the main floor.

"If you would," Ash requested.

Rhahar turned as Kars bowed curtly. "We will see you out there," the godling said.

I gave them an awkward wave that earned another grin from Kars.

Then, it was just Ash and me.

Ash set his chalice on a nearby pedestal. "Do you remember the last time we were here?"

"Of course." My heart skipped, but for a far different reason this time. "It was when I realized I was in love with you."

His lips parted. "Is that what you wanted to say when you told me you wanted this union between us?"

"Yes, but I was too afraid and thought—"

Ash kissed me.

And gods, it was a wrecking kiss that was beautiful and raw, yet somehow infinitely tender. It was another of his kisses that spoke so much love.

He was breathing heavily as he rested his forehead against mine. "When we were here last, I told you that your beauty captured my breath," he said, cupping my cheek. "That remains true, is even more so now, but it is your strength and your courage that have truly ensnared me."

A rush of emotion swelled, stirring the eather .

"And it's okay to be nervous right now," he said, his eyes searching mine. "But do not forget how strong and brave you are and what you have faced and conquered. You've got this. I have faith in that." His thumbs swept over my cheeks. "In you."

A tremor went through me as I nodded. I didn't think he could ever know how much his words meant to me because the next breath was lighter and easier.

Ash had faith in me.

And it was time I started to have some in myself.

"I've got this," I said.

Ash smiled. "Without a doubt."

"Bow." Rhain's voice suddenly boomed from the City Hall. "For the One who is born of Blood and Ash, the Light and the Fire, and the Brightest Moon, the true Primal of Life, and the Queen of the Gods and Common Man."

"That's a really long title," I whispered to Ash in the silence.

He grinned as he took the chalice from my hand and placed it beside his.

"Bow." Rhain's voice came again. "For the Asher, the One who is Blessed, the Guardian of Souls, and the Primal God of Common Men and Endings."

"Ready?" Ash asked as the silence continued from within the City Hall.

My heart thudded. "Yes."

Dipping his head, he kissed me once more and gently squeezed my hand, then we shadowstepped onto the dais.

The sound of a collective gasp reverberated through the crowd as the Primal mist receded from around us. I started to look past Rhain, but my gaze flew back to him. He had knelt. So had Saion and Rhahar . I briefly saw Bele, who knelt to our right, along with Lailah, and I felt Nektas drawing closer.

Everyone but Ash and I was down on one knee, their palms pressed to the floor and to their chests. Even the smallest in the crowd knelt, as did the soldiers lining the colonnade, their backs to the iron-gray banners that bore two crescent moons facing one another above the head of a wolf.

Ash had explained this morning what would come next. Briefly meeting his eyes, we turned. Two thrones made of shadowstone stood adorned with intricately carved wings on their backs, much like the soldiers' helmets, their graceful arches meeting. The banners hanging behind them rippled in the breeze as we approached.

My throat was incredibly dry as we stepped up to the slightly raised thrones, causing me to wish I had drunk more. At least my neck didn't feel tight as Ash gave my hand one last squeeze and then let go. We turned back to the coliseum floor then sat. I could've sworn the sun-warmed shadowstone pulsated with energy as I flattened my palms on the arms of the throne.

A burst of intense, silvery fire rolled across the sky above the Hall. I sucked in a sharp breath as the draken lining the columns of the colonnade lifted their heads, letting out staggering, high-pitched calls. A thick shadow fell over the crowd, blotting out the sunlight. A gust of wind swept over the floor of the Hall, stirring the strings of lights that crisscrossed the entire length of the massive circular structure and lifted the tendrils of my hair as I looked up.

With a graceful sweep of his black-and-gray wings, Nektas descended from above, landing in front of the thrones just as he had during our coronation.

This time, I was prepared for when he swept his wings back over our heads, and his front talons slammed down on the edge of the dais. The thick frills around his head vibrated as a sound like thunder rolled from him. He prowled forward, narrowly avoiding Bele and the twins as his tail whipped across the dais to curl at the foot of the thrones.

Nektas surveyed the crowd as he lowered himself onto his belly, his horned head resting on the dais's edge.

The draken sure did love his impressive arrivals.

I looked up from where Nektas remained. The draken along the colonnade lowered their wings and waited as those below lifted their heads. Their faces were a blur to me, and the next breath I took was a little thinner but not too bad.

Following Ash's instructions from this morning, I cleared my throat. Eather throbbed throughout my body, and when I spoke, I felt the raw energy in my voice. "You may rise."

I watched as they rose in silence all across the coliseum floor. My gaze landed on a woman and man near the front. A young boy, maybe ten or eleven years old, stood between them. The adults' faces were guarded, maybe even nervous, and they each had a hand on one of the boy's shoulders. But he…

He trembled as he stared up at the thrones, his amber eyes wide. However, he didn't look afraid. My breath caught as I recognized the emotion on his face.

Part of me had expected to see uncertainty and unease, and I wouldn't have blamed them if they felt that way. Only those who had called Lethe home knew about me, but none of them expected me to rise as the true Primal of Life. And those who'd just come to the Shadowlands had no idea what to expect from me. They didn't know if I would be any different. Better. Or worse.

But there was none of that in the expressions of those below.

Many of the faces showed various degrees of wonder and maybe even a little disbelief, echoing the awe I saw in the boy's expression. The acceptance . The devotion . Seeing that stunned me because, gods, I didn't feel like I'd done much to earn it.

But I could change that.

We would show them.

But, I couldn't do it like this. I twisted to Ash, and his eyes immediately met mine. "I don't want to do this while sitting on a throne," I whispered.

"We don't have to," he answered, a faint curve in his lips appearing. "How do you want to do this?"

"I…I want to be closer to them."

"Then that is what we shall do," he replied.

"Okay." I glanced back at the crowd and rose on slightly trembling legs. I stepped down from the throne, mindful of Nektas's tail, and waited for Ash to join me.

Holding my gaze, he offered me his hand once more. Together, we crossed the dais.

"Sorry," I murmured to Rhain as we passed him. He watched in confusion as we stopped closer to the edge of the dais. The people below crowded forward. As I looked out over the gathering, I didn't take a breath, I didn't think. I just spoke.

"I'm sure many of you are wondering what we're doing right now," I said.

"I know I am," Bele muttered under her breath.

I pretended I didn't hear her as I continued. "I didn't feel comfortable sitting all the way back there and having to yell for any of you to hear me."

There was a wave of scattered chuckles, and I saw several quick grins and amused looks being exchanged. "Anyway,"—I cleared my throat—"we wanted to thank you all for coming together on such short notice," I said, ignoring the slight quiver in my voice. "I'm sure my Ascension has come as a surprise to many of you—or actually, all of you." My cheeks flushed, but I pushed on. "And many of you are uncertain of what is to come. We called you all here today to assuage those concerns."

I glanced at Ash, and he nodded for me to continue. "First, we wanted to say that we know the risks many of you took to travel to Lethe, and we are…inspired by that." My gaze flickered over the crowd, and my throat thickened with emotion that even caught me off guard. "And we are humbled. Truly. All of you are welcome here and are under our protection, as are all those who call Lethe their home. We are working on ensuring that each of you will have shelter and food."

"Land has already been set aside, and fields are being plowed to plant crops while additional housing is built," Ash continued, his voice far steadier than mine as he surveyed the crowd. "When winter comes, it may be a hard one."

"But there will be a winter thanks to our Queen!" a god shouted from somewhere in the gathering. Laughs and cheers of agreement traveled through the crowd. "And that is something to celebrate."

Ash nodded. "That, it is." He turned his head to me. "And we have Seraphena to thank for that."

Joyous shouts rose, sweeping over the coliseum and drawing a faint smile from Ash.

I lifted a hand, and they quieted so quickly I was a little taken aback. "It is not just I who is to thank for that. It is also Nyktos ."

There were more exclamations, and they came in a great roar that brought a smile to my lips.

"I would not be here if not for him," I continued. "Our King."

It seemed like the entire crowd froze. If I had Ash's ability, I'd likely be drowning in shock.

"The realms will no longer be ruled by only the true Primal of Life," I announced. "That has ended. The realms shall thrive under the joint rule of a King and Queen."

"That will not be the only change. Iliseeum and the mortal realm will no longer suffer under tyrannical rule or cruel indifference," Ash said, his voice carrying. Ash wasn't threatening per se, but he was sending a message. "We will see Iliseeum as it once was under my father's rule. But better, where one can move among Courts without fear of punishment or leaving family and loved ones behind."

"We will have a future where mortals do not tremble in fear upon sight of us." I lifted my chin. "Or are treated as little more than sources of entertainment."

"These changes will not come easily. There will be resistance. Blood will be shed," Ash told them. "But we promise we will not give up until that future becomes the present."

Then Ash lifted our joined hands, the swirl of the golden imprint on the top of his left glittering in the sunlight.

A frenzy of cheers erupted across the coliseum floor, causing Nektas to lift his head. Their feet came down hard, thudding on the stone, matching the tempo of my heartbeat. My gaze flew to Ash's.

"I think they approve," he said as those in the crowd waved their arms in wild excitement. Voices clamored in unison, chanting… mayeeh Liessa .

Our Queen.

And shouting mayeeh Liessar .

Our King.

Blinking, I scanned faces filled with surprise. People were embracing one another, others wept as they pressed their hands to their cheeks or chests—women and men. My eyes widened in awe at the feverish outpouring of emotion from the crowd. My throat tightened but with good things instead of panic as I took in the joyful, beaming faces.

Ash tugged on my hand, drawing me to his side. I looked up, and his gaze swept over my face with intensity. "Thirty-six," he said, cupping my cheek with his other hand. "Just making sure they are all still there."

Then he kissed me.

And gods, there was no restraint or suppression of desire as I gripped the front of his tunic. Our tongues twined in a sensual dance as his sharp fangs grazed my lips. He kissed me as if it were just us, and for that fleeting moment, it truly was. But we weren't alone. Bawdy whistles and raucous shouts pierced the air.

I laughed against his lips, my face warming.

"I think they liked that even more," he said, folding his arms around me. As he held me, I swore the entire realm must have heard the cheers.

Closing my eyes, I rested my cheek against Ash's chest and soaked in the sound. I really hadn't known how today would go or what our reception would be. The possibilities had been endless. But I never expected this.

Though I probably should have. Most of those here knew that I had fought against the dakkais alongside Ash and had changed the landscape of the Shadowlands overnight. And I was, after all, the true Primal of Life, and Ash was beloved by his people. Of course, they would be ecstatic.

However, I'd never experienced anything like this in my entire life. I had not been known to my kingdom. I'd been nothing but a specter not fully formed yet drenched in blood. I wasn't that here. I was seen. Welcomed. Known.

When I pulled away, I peeked over my shoulder. Nektas was watching us. He huffed with a shake of his large head as Saion approached us.

"Your face is so red," Saion told me before addressing Ash. "The barrels of wine you had us bring are about to be rolled out."

"Perfect." Ash's hand slid down the center of my back.

"This went really well," I said as several soldiers began moving the large barrels out from the alcove of the colonnade.

Saion smiled. "Of course, it did."

Bele jogged down the dais steps, and something struck me as I looked over the mass of gods, godlings, and mortals. "No one is wearing masks like many did during the coronation."

"There is no need," Saion replied as the hum of string instruments reached my ears, the notes drifting through the air.

Faces blurred as I nodded. They hadn't felt the need to conceal their identities, not just because there were no other Primals in attendance but because they felt safe. Gods, that meant more to me than the cheers or being known.

And I would do everything to ensure they never lost that sense of security.

I let out a slow breath as the beat of drums joined the melodic dance. The rhythm grew louder, infusing the coliseum with infectious energy as I found Bele in the crowd. All I had to do was follow the wave of bows as the masses parted for the Primal goddess. She joined Aios , who stood with a petite woman dressed in a hooded, white gown with long sleeves who surveyed the revelers in front of her. It was Erlina.

The once-Chosen now had her own life, one where she wasn't subjected to the whims of another. I reminded myself that the others in Dalos and the other Courts would soon have that choice. Now, we just needed to meet with the Primals . Hopefully, that went as well as this had.

I wouldn't bet on it, but I also wouldn't dwell on it right now. There would be plenty of time for that tomorrow.

Nightmare.

Bars.

I was staring at bars made of gilded bones.

Soft material brushed against my legs as I staggered back a step, my feet sinking into soft fur. I looked down at the swath of ivory gauze and saw the darker pink tips of my breasts through the transparent garment.

" No ." My heart thudded heavily as my head jerked back around.

The golden chests.

The golden divan.

My head swung to the other side as pressure clamped down on my chest. I saw the large bed draped in gold blankets and white furs.

"I'm not here," I whispered hoarsely, my gaze slowly tracking to the bedposts and the floor at the foot of the bed.

Chains.

The air I breathed thinned as my eyes locked on the throne beyond the gilded cage set directly in front of the bed.

No. No. No.

This wasn't real.

"I'm not here," I repeated, closing my eyes. I wasn't here. I'd escaped. I was free. I wasn't here. I was safe.

Air stirred around me, raising the tiny hairs all over my body. Lilacs. I smelled stale lilacs.

"I have been so damn lonely, so'lis ."

Every part of my body went rigid at the sound of that summery voice. I'm not here. I held myself completely still, keeping my eyes tightly closed. I'm not here. I'm not—

Arms tightened around me like a vise, digging into my sides. Against my back, his heart pounded faster than mine.

"I just need to hold you," Kolis pleaded.

"No," I said—I know I said it. I felt the word rattle from my chest and claw at my throat. I felt my mouth move.

But I could no longer hear my voice.

I made no sound.

Nothing.

Suddenly, I wasn't standing anymore. He was sitting on the edge of the bed, and I was in his lap, my feet dangling above the floor. That single word shook my chest again and scratched my throat. My mouth moved once more, but I still had no voice.

Sweltering heat bore down on me as my fingers splayed.

" That you would even speak his name ," he hissed in my ear.

No. No. No—

Fangs tore into my skin, sending a jolt coursing through my entire being.

I screamed the word now, and it came from the depths of my being. It cut up my throat and split my mouth but I heard only the sounds of his muffled moans as he drew harder and deeper on the wound. His mouth moved. His body shifted under mine , and…oh, gods, I could feel him—

" Liessa ." A voice of shadows and velvet pierced the golden cage.

I would know that voice anywhere.

" Ash ," I rasped, his name calming my heart and soothing my throat as my voice returned.

The bars before me disintegrated, and the chests and divan shattered into dust. The arms fell away from me, and the gown vanished…

"Wake up, Sera. Please ."

My eyes flew open with a jolt. I gulped in air. In the soft glow of the bedside table lamp, I saw silver streaked with eather , not gold-flecked eyes.

"It's okay." Ash was above me, a lock of chestnut hair hanging forward and brushing his jaw. "You had a nightmare."

Just a nightmare? It hadn't felt that way. I could still taste the fear and desperation in the back of my aching throat. Could he pick up on my emotions in dreams? Gods, that was an idiotic question. Of course, he could. I was probably projecting all over the bedchamber. And if I hadn't been, I could've said something. My throat felt like I'd screamed.

Screamed—

Panic exploded, dousing my body in suffocating, red-hot flames. I opened my mouth, but only a thin, wheezing sound parted my lips. I needed air. Space. Anything. I jerked up, nearly knocking my head into Ash's. A fist had my heart in its grip. My lungs clenched as my legs tangled in the blanket—

"Sera." Ash caught my shoulders, stopping me from toppling off the bed. "Look at me."

I strained against his hold, attempting to stand. "I can't…get air…in."

"I know, liessa . I'm going to help you. I just need you to look at me," he said. "Please."

My gaze flew to his.

His hands went to my cheeks, the feel of them cool against my too-hot skin. "Listen to me. You can breathe. You're just breathing too fast. Understand?"

I nodded as my hands spasmed.

Ash smiled. "Remember what I taught you before? Close your mouth and put your tongue against the back of your teeth. Yes . Just like that." His smile grew like a warm wind on a fall day. "Now, I need you to exhale nice and slow for the count of four. Can you do that?"

I nodded again, doing as he instructed.

"That's it." His eyes never left mine. "Now, you're going to inhale for four seconds. I'll count them. One. Two. Three. Four. Exhale now."

Ash kept counting, lifting his chin on an inhale and lowering it on an exhale. His patience didn't waver as the seconds turned to minutes. He stayed with me until my breathing slowed, and I was no longer gasping like a fish out of water.

Ash's thumbs swept across my chin. "How are you feeling?"

"Okay," I croaked, my face hot despite his cool touch. As my heart rate slowed, embarrassment rose. I closed my eyes. "I'm so—"

"Do not apologize for that." Shifting, he pulled me between his legs and held me to his chest. "Do not ever apologize for that. You have no reason to, nor any reason to feel embarrassment."

I pressed my cheek to his chest, not so sure about that. "I'm a Primal," I whispered hoarsely.

"A newly Ascended Primal."

"I'm still a grown-ass woman," I countered.

Ash's hand folded around the back of my head. "I don't think age has anything to do with it."

It should, because…seriously. How was I supposed to be the Queen of the Gods when a dumb nightmare could send me into a panic spiral? And why was I even having that nightmare? Again ? It was…uncalled for.

I felt like a mess.

A hot, nauseous mess.

But I still relaxed into Ash's embrace, letting the coolness of his body beat back the flush in mine. I didn't know how much time passed before Ash tilted his head and pressed a kiss to my temple.

"You want to talk about it?" he asked.

Tension crept into my muscles. "Talk about what?"

He smoothed a hand down my back. "What you were dreaming about."

I closed my eyes even tighter, seeing bursts of white stars, but I still saw what I had in my dream. A gilded cage full of gold and…Kolis.

I just need to hold you.

Throat drying, I pulled back. My hands dropped to my lap as my gaze fell on the balcony doors. The curtains were drawn open, revealing the dark night sky beyond. "I don't remember what I was dreaming about."

"Not a single detail?"

"No." I forced a shrug. "Probably because it was nothing."

"Nothing," he whispered, watching me in a way that made it seem like he could see straight through me.

I nodded as I lay back down. "We should go back to sleep," I said, pulling the blanket up. "Morning will be here soon."

Ash didn't respond, and he didn't move as I rolled onto my side. After a few moments, I heard a click as he turned off the bedside lamp, plunging the chamber into darkness. The bed shifted as he reclined behind me, curling his arm around my waist. His lips brushed my shoulder, and then he settled. The tension didn't leave his body, though.

It didn't leave mine either as I stared into the darkness. Because I knew.

He didn't believe me.