Chapter 23

Zeke lifts me in his arms and carries me into his bathroom, only lowering me to my feet once the water is on and it's warm around us.

"Tilt your head back. I need to wash myself off your face."

"I like you on my face." I smile, feeling satisfied yet hungry for so much more.

"Well at least let me get it out of your eyes first."

He helps tip me back into the water, washing away his cum, making sure to wipe it safely from my eyes with a warm washcloth.

"Okay. I think you're good. You can open your eyes."

Slowly, I open my eyes to see Zeke in front of me, his body pressed against mine, his hands smoothing my hair away from my face and then he dips his head and his lips are on mine. It's not a hungry fuck-me kind of kiss. This time is much more tender. Much sweeter, even with his tongue eager and pressing and his fingers fisting in my hair.

This is the kind of kiss women read about. The kind we fantasize about. The kind that knocks us off our feet.

His lips are warm and soft and his hands are possessive but gentle as they come up and around my back. He tries to unhook my red lace lingerie but fails miserably before sighing and smiling against my mouth.

"Fuck it. I'll buy you ten more in its place." That's what he says before he rips the lace with his bare hands until it falls apart and sinks to the ground. He kisses me a few more times, and then pulls back, gazing at me.

All of me.

"Have I ever told you how stunning you are?"

I grin lazily back at him. "You may have mentioned it once or twice."

"You're not like anyone I've ever been with before," he says, his eyes darting between mine and then running up and down my body like I'm a magical creature that will disappear any moment.

"Why are you looking at me like you're about to lose me, Zeke?"

"Because I don't want to lose you, Ada," he responds. "In these few short months, you've woven yourself into this life. My life. Elsie's life. And I've come to love every minute of it. Every moment watching you with Elsie. Every laugh. Every tear. Every shiver of a fever. Every snuggle on the couch. Every sigh from your lips. Every cheer when I'm on the ice. Every moan when my hands are on you. Every kiss, every hug. The feel of your hand in mine. Your body pressed against mine." He turns us so my back is against the shower wall.

"I love all those things too, Zeke. And I promise if your worry is that I'm going to run away, I promise that thought has never crossed my mind."

"I think I'm trying to say I love you, Ada." Zeke swallows. His eyes never leaving mine.

"You…what?"

"I love you," he says again with a helpless smile. "I've fallen in love with you so fucking hard and now I can't breathe at the thought of you not being here. I'm talking about the forever kind of love. Not the settle until something else comes along. I don't want that, Ada. I want you. I don't want to be without you. You're my person. You make me want to try harder to be the absolute best version of myself. You make me want to show you how good a life together could be for all of us. Fuck, Ada, you make me want to put a baby in you so you can truly be the mother of my child because you're so fucking good at it and I need you."

"Uh…" I smile up at him but raise my finger. "Okay so maybe not that fast, though I very much appreciate the compliment," I tease with a wink.

"Sorry," he sighs. "I got ahead of myself."

"That's okay. Your feelings are valid and I love hearing them." I bring my hands to Zeke's cheeks just like Elsie did earlier today when we picked out kitties at the animal shelter. "So, can we focus on that I love you part? Because I love you too, Zeke. So much it hurts sometimes."

His shoulders fall as the tension leaves his body. "You do? It does?"

"Yes and yes."

"I don't ever want to hurt you."

"Nor I you, but that's what love is, right? The constant ebb and flow of life and knowing that no matter what comes between us, we can solve anything…jump any hurdle as long as we love each other."

"Do you feel like we have hurdles to jump?" he asks me sincerely. "Because I promise you I'll bend over backwards to fix any issue if it means I'll get to have you in my life."

I shake my head. "There are no hurdles, Zeke. You're perfect. Elsie is perfect. This life…it's scarily perfect only because I feel like it's the best dream I've ever had and I'm afraid I'll wake up and this will have all been just that…a dream."

He kisses me again, his hands smoothing up my back to my neck, to my hair. "I love you so fucking much. And if this is a dream, I'm in it too, so I hope neither one of us ever wakes up."

"I think it would be okay with me if you wanted to tell Elsie."

He leans back, searching my eyes. "Are you sure? You're ready to tell her?"

"Are you?"

"Baby I've been ready since the day I interviewed you for the job."

"That's not true," I laugh softly.

"It is true." He nods. "I knew that day you were special. That there was something about you that intrigued me. And every day after that I fell harder. Faster." He slides his hands down my body until he's cupping my breasts in his hands.

"Zeke…"

"I need you. Want you. Right here. Right now."

"Yes. Please."

Like it knows just what to do, my body ignites at his touch, my chest swelling with a peaceful calm that I haven't felt in years. Like knowing the universe is finally putting two lonely souls together has freed me of my anxieties, my fears, my sadness. Like we're to melodies coming together to compose a beautiful masterpiece. An emotionally charged love song.

Zeke lifts me against his body, wrapping my legs around his waist, and then in one slow push he fills me. My head falls back against the shower wall and my jaw drops open at the fullness of him inside me.

"God, Zeke. You feel so good. I'm so full."

"I just want to feel you, Ada. I want to memorize how amazing you feel wrapped around me. How good we are together. How perfect we are. I want to show you how much I love you. Want you. And I need you to let me."

"I would let you do anything. I'm all yours, Zeke."

___

"Whoa! This a lot of colorful beads!" Elsie dips her hands into the bowl of beads I just placed in a dish on the table.

"You're right. There are lots of colorful beads. And what is the number one rule about touching the beads?"

"Beads do not go in the ears, the nose, or the mouth." She recites my rule back to me verbatim.

"That's right. Good girl." I place another bowl in front of her and pick up a handful to lay out in my hand. "Okay these beads have letters on them. See how each bead has a different letter on it?"

"Yep."

"These are the ones we're going to use to make a message for each bracelet and then we're going to use the colorful ones to decorate the rest of the bracelet. How's that sound?"

"Yeah! I want to make a pink one for Daddy," she says, sitting patiently at the table eager to throw her hand back into the bowl of beads.

"Okay, we can do that. And what would you like Daddy's bracelet to say?"

She crinkles her little face and thinks hard before she finally says, "I love you Daddy."

"Perfect. Here's what I'm going to do." I grab a piece of paper and write out the words I-L-O-V-E-Y-O-U-D-A-D-D-Y so Elsie can recognize each letter and then turn the paper to her. "Here you go. These are the letters we need to be able to spell out what you want to say. So now you get to search for those letters in the bowl and put them on this plate when you find them, okay?"

"Yeah. I can see a D already!" She smiles picking one daintily out of the bowl. "See?"

"Very good, Elsie! So, we need three of those Ds to spell Daddy okay?"

"Okay. I can find more."

"I know you can. You go for it while I cut our string to put the beads on."

Elsie searches for several minutes locating almost every letter needed and I watch her with a calm sense of pride that she can do this task so well. She'll be ready to knock kindergarten out of the park next year.

"What letter do you still need?" I ask her.

"Umm." She looks at the writing in front of her. "I need a L."

As she drags her finger through the bowl of letters, apparently a new thought occurs to her because she asks, "Ada, are you going to marry Daddy?"

Her question catches me off guard. I suppose it's not like I haven't thought about it, but I hadn't yet thought too hard about how Elsie might feel if that were to happen.

"How would that make you feel if Daddy asked me to marry him?"

"I would be happy. Would you be my mom if you marry Daddy?"

"Uh…" I cock my head trying to pick up on her facial expression. "Well, it would make me your stepmom."

"What's a stepmom?"

"Umm, it's kind of like a bonus mommy. I might not be the one who carried you in my tummy or gave birth to you in the hospital, but if I were your stepmom, I would be like a special extra mommy just for you."

"Would you still live here?"

"Of course."

"Would you still make me chocolate milk? And pancakes?"

I smile kindly at her. "You know I would. Nothing would change much if I married your daddy. It would really just mean I would be his wife instead of his girlfriend."

As she considers my words, the doorbell rings. I pick up my phone quickly knowing I'll have a notification from the Ring doorbell so I can see who is at the door before answering it.

Was Zeke expecting a delivery?

Oh no.

His parents?

Did I forget a playdate?

"Who's there, Ada?"

My brows furrowed and my lips pursed, I stare at a picture of a woman standing at the front door. She has long blonde hair and she's wearing what looks like jeans and an oversized sweater with a hat on her head and a scarf around her neck. I've never seen her before, but perhaps Zeke forgot to tell me someone was stopping by for some reason.

Getting up from the table I lay my hand calmly on Elsie's back, not wanting to alert her to the stranger at the door. "Not sure, but I'm going to go check. You stay here and find me that L okay?"

"Yeah," she responds, deeply focused on her letter finding skills.

I quietly make my way to the front door and unlock the deadbolt. With my phone in hand, I open the door and come face to face with the blonde woman. She's taller than I expected her to be from the doorbell camera. With slender features. Her high cheekbones are well defined and her nose is pink from the cold. Her gloved hands are clasped together in front of her but her posture seems stiff and her mouth curls slightly as her eyes rake over me in my leggings and Red Tails hoodie.

For a moment I almost regret not doing my hair and putting on makeup. This was supposed to be a cozy day at home with Elsie.

"Hello," I greet her. "May I help you?"

The look of utter disdain she gives me makes all the tiny hairs on my body stand at attention. "Who the hell are you?" she spits. A scathing tone to her voice.

What the hell?

Why is she so pissy?

Who is this woman?

"Uh," I scoff. "I'm Ada. And you are…?"

"Who is it, Ada? Who is it? Is it Nana?" Elsie comes flying down the stairs and I watch in horror as the blonde woman's demeanor changes from explicit hatred of me to complete adoration and awe of Elsie.

My heart plummets through my stomach.

Oh shit.

It can't be.

"Elsie! My baby! Oh my gosh, you've grown up. You're such a beautiful little girl."

Lori.

This woman must be Lori.

She opens her arms and steps forward expecting Elsie to run to her arms but she does no such thing, nor will I let her. She grabs onto my leg, holding me tightly, and I maneuver myself in front of her, protecting her at all costs. Without taking my eyes off Lori, I rub Elsie's back and mutter to her, "Elsie, I want you to go back inside and stay there, okay?"

"But I found the L."

"Great job. Why don't you pick out all the pink ones you want to use next, okay?"

"Okay but Ada?"

"Yes, Baby?"

She points to Lori. "Who is that?"

Lori opens her mouth to speak but I beat her to it, staring her down with all the mama bear vibes I can possibly give off. "She's a stranger, and you don't talk to strangers so you go on back to the table and I'll be there in a minute."

"Okay."

She retreats back inside and I watch as Lori's eyes follow her every move before they come back to me.

"I'm going to guess you're Lori?"

"You have no right to keep me from seeing my daughter," she snarls.

My grip on the door tightens and my heartrate skyrockets because I have no idea what this woman is capable of.

Why is she here?

Zeke said she left and they haven't spoken.

Is she trying to come back into his life?

Does he want that?

Did he know about this?

I know his phone would've gotten the doorbell notification too so the fact he hasn't said anything yet through the speaker tells me he's in the middle of practice.

Fuck.

"You mean the daughter who doesn't even recognize you? The daughter you walked out on and haven't seen since? Who the hell do you think you are?"

"I am her mother and I could say the same to you," she sneers. "What are you? The whore Zeke is cheating on me with?"

Cheating on her?

I rear back. "Excuse me?"

Her nostrils flare and she curls her hands into fists.

Go ahead.

Hit me, bitch.

It'll be the last thing you do.

But you'll get to Elsie over my dead body.

"You know when I divorce him and take his money, he won't have much left for you. I wouldn't get used to this big house and whatever other extravagant gifts he buys for you."

"What the fuck are you even talking about?"

She holds up a manilla envelope in her hand. "The divorce papers he sent me."

Divorce papers?

Wait.

My wall breaks and my guard falters when her words slap me in the face.

"Divorce papers?" I mumble. "When did…When did he send you those?"

For the first time since I opened this door, a smirk crosses her face and she looks pleased with herself. "From the surprised look on your face, I'm going to guess he sent them the day after he probably fucked you into submission."

What the hell?

Zeke is married?

He's been married?

All this time?

No.

There has to be another explanation.

Either way I'm done talking to this woman.

"You know what? Fuck you, lady. You don't know me. And you certainly don't know Zeke."

"Well, we'll see about that. Is he here or is he at the damn arena again?"

"Neither," I lie. "You don't need to know where he is."

She narrows her eyes and hollows her cheeks even more than they already are, her tongue moving from cheek to cheek. Finally realizing she's not going to win this battle of the bitches she steps back. "Fine. I'll find him myself. Or rather, my lawyer will be in touch. But you can tell him I don't sign these papers," she says, flaunting them in my face, "until we reach a settlement where I get at least half of his millions."

"Fat chance of that happening," I tell her. "You know damn well he won't give you a dime. You left your family, your own flesh and blood, and never looked back. You deserve absolutely nothing. Now get the fuck out of here and do not come back or I will call the police."

"He won't have a choice." Lori laughs as she backs up to her parked car in the driveway. "I can promise him that. Ta-ta…Ada, was it? If I were you, I'd start packing your bags now, Sweetheart."

It may be below freezing outside but I am sweating as I watch her get into her car and back down the driveway. Careful not to slam it and scare Elsie, I close the door, locking every lock and setting the alarm just in case and then I'm on my phone calling Zeke in an instant. The phone rings several times before it goes to voicemail, which I don't bother leaving knowing a text will be seen before my message would be heard.

Knowing he is indeed at the arena and that Lori will most likely come looking for him, I call Carissa. She's the only one who will be able to get to Zeke fast enough to warn him of what's going on.

"Hello?" Carissa's voice on the other end of the line is a comfort to hear.

"Carissa? It's Ada." My clipped tone alerts her without fail.

"What's wrong? Are you okay? Is it Elsie?"

"No," I tell her, my voice shaking from the adrenaline and nerves. "Elsie's fine. Carissa, Lori just showed up at the house."

"Oh fuck."

"She's looking for Zeke and she wanted Elsie but I refused to let her near her. I tried to contact Zeke but he's not picking up and I think he would want to know."

"Good for you. That bitch! The guys are on the ice. I'm on my way down there right now." The clickity clack of her shoes tells me she's making her way to the ice at a slight jog if not a full run.

"Carissa," I breathe. "Did you know?"

"Know what?"

Bile rises in my throat as I force the words out. "Did you know Zeke was still married?"

She gasps. "What? Where on Earth did you hear that?"

"Lori. She had divorce papers with her that apparently Zeke sent to her not too long ago and she said she refused to sign them until they talk." I choke back my tears. "So that means he's married, right? All this time? And he never told me?"

"Noooo. He isn't. There's no way she's telling the truth. That's…"

I expect her to say "Impossible" but that word doesn't come.

"It can't be possible, right?" she asks softly into the phone. "He would've divorced her a long time ago. It's been years."

"But what if…" I try to think of any reason for him to still be married to that vile woman but my mind is such a jumble of all the words that were spoken in the last fifteen minutes, I can't form a coherent thought. "Fuck, Carissa, I don't know. I don't know what I'm supposed to do now."

"Okay, is Elsie safe?"

"Yeah. She's fine."

"And you're safe?" she asks calmly.

"Yeah. A little shaken up but I'm okay."

"Then everything is fine. I'm at the ice. I'll grab Zeke and let him know what's happening. I have no doubt he'll be driving home with his skates on to get to you."

"Thanks Carissa. I really appreciate you."

"Hey, it's no problem. Just breathe. And give me two minutes."

It's not three minutes later that my phone rings and Zeke's number appears on the screen.

"You're still married?" I whisper, surprising myself with how eerily calm the question floats from my mouth.

"What? Fuck!" he murmurs, his voice angry and cold. "Is she still fucking there? Are you alright?"

"No. She's not here. And no, I'm not sure I'm alright," I tell him, my voice shaking. "I told her to get the fuck out and not come back but Zeke, what's going on? She said—"

"What about Elsie? She didn't hurt either of you, did she?"

"Hell no. I would never let her touch Elsie." Anger rises up inside me. I would do anything to protect that little girl. I'd throw my life in front of hers if I had to.

"Thank Christ." I can tell by his silence that he's rubbing his forehead with his fingers trying to decide what to say next. "Ada, listen to me. I love you, okay? I love you. Nothing changes that. Do you understand?"

I'm silent for a moment as well, trying to rein in my thoughts and remain calm. The last thing I want to do is get upset and have Elsie asking all sorts of questions. Like why I'm sobbing in my bedroom or why I'm angrily throwing Zeke's shit out the window.

Or why I'm packing my bags.

"You being married changes everything, Zeke."

"Ada, I'm on my way. I'm driving as fast as I can. Please don't open the door to anyone and for the love of Christ please don't leave."

Why he thinks I would simply walk out of this house leaving a five-year-old alone to fend for herself is a mystery, but what's most disappointing is that somewhere in the deep recesses of his mind he's already assuming I'm going to leave him. So, what does that say for what's going on between him and Lori?

Or him and me?

My heart is shattering into a million little pieces as I stand here with the phone to my ear. He hasn't denied what I've asked him which can only mean one thing.

It's all true.

He's still married to Lori.

He's been lying to me all this time.

"Zeke…" My voice quakes. "I can't—"

"I promise you, Ada, I'll explain everything when I'm home. Every damn thing. I promise. Please just trust me, okay? I beg you. Please, Ada. I'm almost there."

"Okay, I trust you Zeke," I tell him even though I'm not at all sure I trust anything anyone has said to me in the last half hour. "Please be careful."

"Ada…"

"Goodbye Zeke."

"Ada wait…"

His pleading voice is the last thing I hear before I push the button to end the call. And then I allow my knees to finally go weak and lower myself to the foyer steps.

And wait.