Chapter 45

FORTY-FIVE

Anders

I can’t stand to see her cry.

Especially not now.

She’s scared and vulnerable and probably not feeling too great. If we were going to fight about this—and that’s not my style anyway—it wouldn’t be now. Not like this.

I take her hand between both of mine and shake my head. “Don’t cry. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to yell.”

“I love you,” she sobs. “So I didn’t want to ruin your life too, and force you into a role you didn’t want because we talked about?—”

She loves me.

That’s all I need to know.

Everything else can be fixed.

This is fixable.

But the first thing I have to fix is her tears.

“Shh, shh, shh.” Everything is starting to become a little clearer. It’s not entirely rational, but she’s pregnant. Hormonal. Emotional. This is still her first relationship. I have to remember that. “It’s okay. I don’t want you to cry anymore. It can’t be good for the baby.”

“I’m sorry…I just don’t know how to apologize for this, and I know you don’t want?—”

“Sweetheart. Please.” I’m a little exasperated with her reasoning as I put a finger over her lips. I’m not in the habit of shushing people, but she’s rambling, and I need to set a few things straight. “Let me talk now. Okay? Please?”

Bright, tear-filled eyes meet mine, but she nods.

“First of all, it takes two to tango. Second, if it was a condom malfunction, we made the mistake together . You mentioned your nails a couple of times, and I brushed it off. Lots of women have long nails. I didn’t think it would be a big deal. Maybe it was.”

“Maybe? How else did this happen?”

I sigh. “There were a few times… early in the morning, in the shower, where we were messing around, and I was right there—remember? We always eventually stopped to get a condom but there was one morning where I think I might have slipped in. It’s hazy, and I remember thinking, oops , but we stopped right away so I honestly didn’t believe anything happened. Even after the breakup, it never crossed my mind that you might be pregnant because of that incident.”

“Ohhh.” Her eyes widen a little. “I do remember…it was so fast. Like, in and out…”

“That’s all it takes.” I bring her hand to my lips and gently kiss her fingers. “Regardless of how it happened, it would never cross my mind that you did it on purpose . I know you. It hasn’t been long, but we’ve become a part of each other. There’s no universe where you would do what Martika did. You have an amazing new career making six figures and a lot of plans both professionally and financially. I know you want to travel. Frankly, I know you want exactly what I want.” I pause, making sure she’s looking at me, paying attention. “And now we both want something a little different than we thought we wanted.”

“What…” She hesitates. “Can I talk now?”

“No.” I shake my head. “Every time you talk, you talk nonsense and then you cry. But a minute ago, you said you love me. As far as I’m concerned, that’s all that matters. Yes, I wanted to wait to start a family. I wanted to travel and buy you your dream house and have two weddings—one here in Philadelphia and then another in Sweden. I wanted you to accomplish whatever it is you want professionally—if the company goes public or whatever, I don’t understand how that works but you can explain it to me when you feel better—so you would never feel that my career overshadows yours.

“I want all of that for you. For us. But now…” I look down at her still flat stomach. “I guess we’re going to throw a baby into the mix. But I don’t want you to worry. I can’t help too much with the physical part, but once the baby’s here? There will be a nanny and at least one set of grandparents ready, willing, and able to step in so you and I can still follow our dreams.”

“I… you…” Her voice breaks and I see more tears threatening.

“Do not cry!” I admonish her, kissing her hand.

“I’m sorry. You’re just—I love you so much.”

“And I love you so much. Which is why I hate to see you cry.”

“I don’t like it either.” A voice interrupts us, and I look up to see a middle-aged woman with a bright smile and a white coat joining us. “Hello. I’m Dr. Fontana.”

“Hello.” I immediately stand and extend my hand. “Anders Nyberg.”

“Nyberg…” She squints. “Oh! You play with Milo.”

“Excuse me?” I’m a little confused.

“Milo Holland is my nephew. My sister’s son. Tell him Auntie Hildie says hello.” She smiles.

“Oh… yes, of course. I will.”

Small fucking world.

“Anyway, let’s see what’s going on, Claudia. If it’s okay, I’m going to do a vaginal ultrasound because you’re not very far along, so it’ll be easier to see the baby and hopefully pick up the heartbeat.”

“You think…I’m still… pregnant?” Claudia looks so sad, I immediately grab her hand again.

“The labs this morning say you are, and the numbers aren’t falling. Like I told you yesterday—sometimes the body does miraculous things. Usually a miscarriage happens because the fetus wasn’t viable anyway. It’s the body’s way of expelling something potentially dangerous. However, that should have already happened, based on the bleeding you had yesterday. It could also have been a ruptured blood vessel. I’m really not sure, but this ultrasound will tell us what we need to know and how to proceed.”

“Okay.” She looks to me. “Will you stay with me?”

“Of course. I’m not going anywhere.”

The doctor brings in an ultrasound machine and closes the door. It only takes her a few minutes to set up and she covers Claudia’s bottom half with a sheet.

“This won’t hurt,” Dr. Fontana says. “So relax.”

It’s hard to relax, knowing we’re about to find out if our baby is okay.

The machines whirrs and comes to life.

A weird white section appears on the otherwise black screen.

“There.” Dr. Fontana points. “There’s your baby and… that’s the heartbeat.”

We’re both frozen in place staring at the screen.

“That little blob…is our baby?” For some reason, I’m choked up.

“Claudia’s only about seven or eight weeks pregnant. It’s very early on. But right now, everything looks good and my understanding is that the bleeding has stopped?” She looks to Claudia, who nods.

“None since before midnight last night.”

“Great. I’m optimistic. I think everything is going to be fine. I’d like you to stay in the hospital one more day so we can continue to hydrate you and help manage the nausea so you can eat, but?—”

“I got tacos!” Hana comes into the room with a huge smile and an even bigger bag, and then stops short. “Oh, I’m so sorry!”

Dr. Fontana laughs. “Thanksgiving tacos sound wonderful. I hope you enjoy them. I’ll see you again in the morning to discharge you, Claudia. Try to rest, okay? And congratulations.”

“Do we have a due date?” I ask quickly.

Dr. Fontana pulls something out of her pocket and messes with it. “Looks like your little bundle of joy should arrive around July ninth.”

“In the off-season,” I say. “That’s perfect.”

“Congratulations.” She puts a hand on Claudia’s leg. “You take it easy. Promise me you’ll eat? If you continue to be nauseated, please reach out, either to me or to your regular OB/GYN. We have meds to help. You have to eat, or you’ll just wind up in the hospital again.”

“I will. Thank you.”

“You’re here.” Hana comes over to hug me.

“Hey, Hana.”

“Damn good thing you came. I was going to tell my brother to call you.” She sticks her tongue out at Claudia.

“What happened to being my bestie and having my back?” Claudia asks dryly.

“Having your back means doing the hard things when you can’t or won’t,” she says firmly. “As soon as you were admitted to the hospital, I knew I’d give you some time to find out what was going on, but someone was going to call Anders.”

“I’m glad someone had my back,” I say, chuckling.

“I, uh, have to use the restroom. I’ll be back.” Hana disappears out the door, even though there’s a bathroom in my room, and I smile down at Claudia.

“She’s giving us a moment.”

“Yes.” She stares up at me. “Say it again.”

I know exactly what she means.

“I love you,” I say quietly, leaning down so our faces are close together. “Since that first day on the beach, I knew I was going to love you, and the first time I kissed you, I was a goner.”

“From one kiss?” She puts a hand on the side of my face.

“From one kiss.”

“I started to fall the moment you asked me to go swimming,” she admits. “No one ever looked at me like that, like you genuinely wanted to talk to me, spend time with me…”

“Always.” I press my lips to hers and they linger for a moment.

It feels so good to touch her.

Kiss her.

Be with her.

I reach over and put my hand on her stomach.

“Boy or girl?” she whispers against my mouth.

“In a fantasy, I want sons,” I admit, chuckling. “But you know I don’t care. I just want you and the babies to be okay.”

“Babies? Plural?” Her eyes widen.

“You didn’t think we were going to just have one?” I ask, making a face. “I mean, he or she needs siblings. Maybe a couple.”

She frowns. “What if I don’t want to be pregnant multiple times?”

“Surrogate?”

Our eyes meet, and we laugh.

“Whatever you want, my love.” I brush a lock of hair out of her face. “I just want you to be happy.”

“You make me happy. You’re all I want.”

“You have me.”

“Happy Thanksgiving!” Both of us jump as her parents come into the room, beaming.

They obviously ran into Hana in the hallway and got the scoop.

“I’m going to be a grandmother!” Laura says.

And she promptly bursts into tears.