Chapter 6

CHAPTER SIX

I ’m the Wrong Guy

Macklin

I have a three-hour break in between classes so I head back to the house, figuring I’ll make myself a big meat sandwich and get some work done. I’ve also been hard like a rock since I haven’t had any sex, and I can’t stop thinking of Ruby. Before I make some food, I head upstairs to the shower. Rubbing a quick one out is a smart idea. I need to focus, and I can’t focus when I am all wound up. I turn on the shower, allowing some time for the water to heat. Then I take off my clothes and hop inside. I don’t have a heck of a long time to waste. All I have to do is think of Ruby completely naked and I turn hard. I close my eyes, picturing her in the shower with me. Her full breasts pressed into my chest as her smooth hand wraps around my cock.

I pump myself hard and fast, groaning.

“Fuck, Ruby. Just like that,” I moan. I pump harder and faster until I groan some more. I picture pressing her body against the tiled wall and pumping inside her. I grunt, coming so hard I spray all over the shower floor and against the stream of water. I have to brace myself for a minute as I hold on to the wall and catch my breath. I quickly wash my body with some body wash and get out of the shower. I figure I’ll take my clothes to my room and get dressed there, since I really steamed up the shower. I open the door and bump into Ruby.

“Ah, what are you doing here?” I ask her. I also wonder if she heard me getting off.

I take in her flushed cheeks.

“I…uh…I,” she mutters.

“Periwinkle? What’s up?” I work hard to keep my tone even. Even though something tells me I may be busted.

“I came up to get some printer paper from Hayden’s room,” she finally explains.

“Did you get what you were looking for?” I ask, looking down at her empty hands.

She blinks and looks down at her hands too.

“No,” she replies, and she turns away and walks into Hayden’s room.

I make a fast dash for my room. This is bad. If she heard me getting off, I’m screwed. I was thinking about her, but did I say her name? I sure fucking hope not.

After getting dressed, I head downstairs because I’m ready to eat lunch.

Ruby is sitting on the couch with her laptop in her lap and her legs crossed. She’s wearing a pair of short shorts, and all I see is her long toned and tanned legs. A flash of remembering her naked body returns and I realize how fucked I am. She’s everywhere I turn.

“I just need to make a sandwich,” I say awkwardly. When have I ever been awkward around a girl? The answer is never.

“Cool.” She nods.

I head to the kitchen and take a large sub bun out of the fridge, along with some cold cuts and lettuce.

Ruby walks into the kitchen after me. “I need to eat something,” she explains.

I step out of her way, but I am watching her move around the kitchen. She is taking things out of the fridge, probably to make a sandwich too. Her hair is gathered in a high ponytail. She’s wearing those short shorts she wears for track practice and a tight tank top. I try not to look at her body too much, but it’s kind of hard not to.

“Are you doing good?” I ask because the silence feels weird.

“Yeah, you?” she replies with nonchalance.

“Good,” I answer awkwardly.

“Good,” she repeats.

She gets back to making her sandwich then she turns to look at me. Her face seems a little confused.

“You’ve barely spoken to me in the last two years,” she starts.

“I. . .” I find myself tongue-tied. What is happening to me?

“You were acting freaking weird at the bonfire. . . and what you said last night,” she adds.

“First of all, I haven’t been ignoring you,” I counter.

She gives me a look that says, “Who am I kidding?” She isn’t wrong.

“I’ve been busy.” I shrug.

“Too busy for me?” I hear the hurt in her voice.

“It’s not like that, Periwinkle.” I am at a loss for words. We came to school here together, but keeping my distance made the most sense in order for me to contain my feelings. As we got older, I found I only wanted her more and knowing I would never have her was painful. So I decided out of sight, out of mind was my best option.

“So, what is it like?” she asks, standing her ground.

I sigh.

“Last night. . .” she begins.

“Forget about last night,” I advise her.

“You told me I was beautiful. I can never forget that,” she counters, looking so vulnerable and pretty.

“Periwinkle, you and Hayden are all I have,” I remind.

“You have a funny way of showing I’m important to you.” She snickers, her voice laced with irritation. “Last night you said I was beautiful, and I felt. . .you.”

Shit. She’s talking about the hard-on I got from having her close to me.

“You’re a beautiful girl. You were pressed against me. I’m a guy.” I make it sound like basic chemistry when there is nothing basic about the way I feel about her.

“So that’s all that was then?” she asks.

I don’t know what she is fishing for, but I can’t give her more than that without feeling like I am stabbing Hayden in the back.

“Yeah.” I look her dead in the eyes. “So, what is with you and that guy?” I deflect and I go back to making my sandwich.

“He’s nice enough. I’m seeing him. There isn’t much to tell.”

“Have you slept with him?” I ask unintentionally. I haven’t been able to stop thinking about her and him after she walked off with him at the bonfire. Imagining her in a compromising position with him fed the ugly green beast inside me.

I take a huge bite of my sandwich and look at her like I didn’t just ask such a personal question. I’m a fucking mess. What the hell am I doing?

Her mouth opens to an O then snaps shut. Her eyebrows draw together like she is assessing me.

I swallow the bite of my sandwich and open a can of Sprite.

I take a large gulp.

“I’m a virgin,” she blurts.

The Sprite sprays from my mouth and lands on her. “Shit, sorry.”

I pick up a rag and begin to pat her shoulders like a lunatic.

“Mack, stop! What the hell is happening?” she asks, looking so confused.

“I don’t know,” I answer honestly, deflating. “You haven’t slept with anyone at this university?” I ask for clarification like a madman.

“That is what being a virgin means,” she says sarcastically, but she’s rubbing one hand on her opposite arm. She’s blushing and clearly uncomfortable.

I’ve been torturing myself the past two years, imagining her sleeping with guys on campus. I couldn’t handle the thought, and it was all for nothing.

“And Knox?” I ask.

“I’ve been out with him a lot. He’s been patient. He’s nice and good-looking.”

I roll my eyes.

“What?” she asks.

“He looks like a Ken doll,” I reply.

Ruby laughs at me. I wonder if she is reading my jealousy.

“He’s a good-looking guy, Macklin,” she retorts, and she never calls me by my full name. “I’m just not feeling. . .”

“Turned on?” I finish the sentence for her, knowing I am treading in shark-infested waters.

She nods and her teeth dig into her lower lip.

Fuck.

“Were you turned on when I hugged you last night?” I ask, unable to stop myself. This is a disaster spiraling out of control.

She nods again.

I run my hands through my hair.

She must read my hesitance mixed with fear because then she says, “I’ll just continue to see Knox. I’m sure, eventually, I’ll feel ready to take things to the next level with him. Or maybe I’m just nervous and that’s why I haven’t felt ready. I’m just so comfortable with you, and maybe that’s why having your body against mine, feeling your muscles beneath my fingertips. . .it made me feel hot.”

I am so so-so-so fucked right now.

“Periwinkle, that’s not how attraction works. If you wanted this guy, your body would know after a few dates. Maybe even after one date,” I explain, feeling my heart racing at an erratic pace.

“Girls are different, Mack. Some of us aren’t attracted to every guy we see. We can’t just jump into bed with any good-looking guy.”

“Guys aren’t attracted to every girl they see either,” I clarify.

“Oh, come on. You have your flavors of the week and the guys here all see a nice set of breasts and a pretty face, and they’re good to go,” she reminds.

“You aren’t wrong about some guys, but I don’t take girls to bed every week. Sometimes I go weeks without, and sometimes I go for a second and third round with a girl,” I explain.

“Well, that’s good to know,” she says sarcastically.

“But I haven’t been with anyone in weeks,” I find myself confessing. I swallow hard because I can’t contain my next sentence. “Because I can’t scrub my mind after seeing you that day.”

“You mean you saw all of me?” she asks, her cerulean eyes wide with shock.

I nod. “Every exquisite inch of you.”

Our eyes lock. A fire consumes my body, but I know better than to reach for what isn’t mine. I learned the art of self-control a long time ago.

I watch her throat bob. She licks her lips. “What if I said I want it to be you who takes my virginity?”

I stare at her in awe, but also in fear of what she is offering because it will change everything.

“Periwinkle, you could have any guy you want. You’re smart and beautiful,” I confide to her.

“But I’m most comfortable with you. I always have been. It makes sense, Mack. I can’t get comfortable enough with other guys. I’m a freaking junior in college and I’m still a virgin. It’s pathetic. You need to help me.”

“First of all, there is nothing pathetic about you,” I assure her. “And I don’t deserve to take that from you,” I admit because I always knew I wasn’t good enough for Ruby. She was always smart. Always good in math and science. That’s how she ended up in software engineering.

I always struggled in school. I didn’t do well, and I struggled to like any of my subjects. Somehow my grades were good enough to meet the cutoff for Riverside U, but I know it was my hockey skills that ensured my entry here. I was a damn good player. Probably one of the best on the team, but I knew my place in the food chain. A smart beautiful girl like Ruby was out of my league.

“How can you say that, Mack? You’ve always been there for me when I needed you. You may have been an ass the last couple years and I still don’t understand why, but right now, in this moment, things feel normal again. The way they should be, with us talking and confiding in each other. I’m telling you. I need help.”

“And I’m telling you, I’m the wrong guy,” I counter.

“I can’t understand how you can say that to me. You admit to taking all kinds of girls to bed. You tell me I’m beautiful. . .” Her voice trails. “Wait. . .you said that so you wouldn’t hurt my feelings.”

I take a step toward her and caress the side of her face. “I was not lying to you, Ruby. I sure as hell wasn’t trying to make you feel good. I was just being honest. Since I am being open with you, then the reason I’ve taken all those girls to bed is because they didn’t matter to me, but you matter.”

“That’s why I need it to be you, Mack.”

I groan, “You’re killing me. Your brother would have my head.”

“This isn’t about Hayden. I need you.”

“You’re breaking down any willpower I’ve ever had, Periwinkle.”

“That’s a good thing,” she says with a victorious smile.

“Maybe I should ask Hayden for permission?” I suggest.

“Are you effin crazy?” she counters.

“Maybe.” I tilt my head to the side.

“There is no way you’re asking my brother. This has nothing to do with him. This is me asking you for a favor.”

“We can’t just have sex,” I inform her. “We need to build toward it.”

“So you’ll do it!” she cheers and throws her hands around my neck.

“Have I ever said no to you about anything?” I retort. That’s answer enough. I just hope this decision doesn’t come back to bite me in the ass.