Chapter 24

twenty-four

NEW BEGINNINGS

I t feels different to stand outside the locker room and wait for the guys to come out tonight.

I’m always happy to see everyone and congratulate them on their game, but I’ve never felt a nervous ball of energy sitting in my gut at the thought of seeing any one player. Not like tonight where I feel like I’m vibrating with my need to see Xander’s face and check in to see how he’s feeling.

He’ll be blaming himself for the one goal the Titans managed to score even though it’s not his fault. He could have stopped that pass if he had reacted quicker, sure. But there’s a reason we have two defensemen. Why they are linemates.

They’re supposed to work together. Read each other’s plays and cover the holes they need to. Micah didn’t move fast enough. He should have been able to anticipate that pass. Even if he couldn’t, there was no reason to leave a player open like that right in front of the net.

“Are all games that exciting?” Megan asks, looking around at the crowd slowly gathering waiting for players.

“They aren’t always so evenly matched,” Isla explains, “but they are always fast paced with a lot of action going on. ”

I nod my agreement. “It’s a high energy sport. It’s really easy to get lost in the excitement.” And boy did she, I smile to myself. She instantly took to it, taking turns asking us different questions about how the game worked. Why players were constantly coming on and off the ice. What different calls were. But even when she didn’t fully understand, she cheered as loud as anyone for the Wolves.

“I think I’m in love,” she sighs and we all laugh. “Can I come with you to more games, you think?”

The last few months have really made me reevaluate how I’ve been interacting with people. Two people who have been a part of my life for a long time now and both of them are shifting into something so much more to me. Megan has always been there. Ever since we moved here and yet it took this long for me to see how fun she is. How much we get along. I always thought she only tolerated me because she was friends with Becca and Chelsea but we have more in common than I would have guessed.

“Of course,” I agree. “Whenever you want.”

Our focus is drawn back to the locker room when Baylor, Wells, and James come out. My stomach clenches as I wait for Xander to be right behind them, but he’s not.

“You see that goal, Trouble?” Baylor asks before he even reaches us.

Torryn tamps down her smile. “Did you score?” she asks as if she wasn’t screaming her head off for him.

Baylor grabs her by the hips, bringing her flush with him. “I heard you screaming my name.” His voice drops lower and I avert my gaze, feeling like I shouldn’t be watching this.

“Was it for me?” she asks.

Everyone else ignores them. Wells wraps his arms around Isla and they lean against the wall waiting for the rest of our crew .

Princesses they are. Taking so long.

“All my goals are for you,” Baylor answers. And his answer is so sweet, so genuine, jealousy twists inside me. But it’s my own fault that Xander won’t walk through those doors and straight to me, claiming everything he did was dedicated to me.

Because he can’t.

Because I asked him not to.

Zac and Wilder come out next and they both purposely bump me on their way to Colby. Jerks. Wilder curses when he sees Zac’s number on her and she glares at both of them.

“Keep bullying Emery and I’ll start wearing Xander’s number,” she threatens.

They both gasp, instantly arguing with her. “She told everyone we have crabs,” Zac yells, drawing a few looks from people around us.

Megan pokes me in the side. “Do they have crabs?” she whispers not very quietly, sending both Colby and I into a fit of giggles while Zac and Wilder launch into another tirade.

A hand brushes against the small of my back, and I turn to find Xander and the rest of the guys have joined us while we were all distracted by Zac and Wilder’s outburst. I beam up at him, not able to hide my excitement at seeing him. His gaze locks on mine and I wish for nothing more than to be able to throw myself at him.

“Good game,” I congratulate, but it’s not only directed to Xander. Tate moves past him and wraps me in a hug.

“Thanks for noticing. I was working really hard out there,” he jokes, and I’m not the only one who stares at him in shock.

I cock my head as he steps back. “You’re in a good mood.”

“He’s just happy to have me back on the ice,” Xander interjects. “He missed his mid-game naps. ”

Beau shoves him and Xander nearly collides with me, grabbing my hip to steady both of us. “You’re so full of shit.”

Everyone laughs, but I’m holding my breath as Xander’s fingers linger a little longer than they need to before he steps away. There’s desire in his eyes and I’m already plotting how we can sneak a moment alone so I can properly congratulate him.

“How did it feel to be back on the ice?” I ask him.

James corrects, “More importantly, how does it feel to be a Wolf?”

“Pretty damn good to both of those questions,” he answers. “Next week you’ll be asking how it felt to win though,” he finishes with a cocky grin.

Beau wraps his arm over his shoulders. “You’ll be on my line next week for sure. I love Theo, but you’re faster.”

Xander’s eyes light up and I can see how much those words mean to him. I want to tell him how proud I am of him.

He played differently than I’ve ever seen him play. He reacted more to the other team, changing up his strategies. His last play on the ice that led to our goal was all about being able to read and trick his opponents in a way he never would have considered before.

It makes me excited to see what else this season will bring us.

The conversation steers away from hockey and the game as we leave the arena and head to the parking lot. The guys all agree to go to Barney’s for burgers before heading to any parties tonight and I actually get the invite for once.

We have to split up into several cars and Colby goes with Wilder and Zac, but they don’t have room for both me and Megan so I grab her arm to follow Tate. We end up both stuck in the middle seats of Xander’s truck. Me in the front between Xander and Tate—a new definition of a nightmare being born. Megan ends up between James and Beau. Both who are all too happy to flirt with her until they find out she’s still in high school.

“A few short months and I might be a Wolf too,” she pouts.

I turn around in my seat, surprised. “You applied for Westbrook?”

She nods. “Obviously haven’t heard anything back yet. But it’s one of my top choices.”

I shouldn’t be surprised but I am. Becca only ever talked about leaving. How excited she was to start over somewhere new. Somewhere on the east coast where life was so much more exciting than around here. I guess I assumed most of our friends thought that way too.

“I’m assuming it’s your top choice?” she asks and I blush when Tate and Xander both swing their heads in my direction.

“You haven’t told anyone?” Tate asks.

I shrug. I didn’t think anyone outside of my family would really care.

“Told anyone what?” Megan asks.

I clear my throat, feeling suddenly awkward. “I got umm, early admission to Westbrook.” I cough, fidgeting where I’m sitting.

“Oh my god! That’s amazing,” Megan exclaims, leaning forward to wrap her arms around me from behind, but both James and Beau yell at her to put her seatbelt back on. She laughs at them, but stops her attempt and sits back down, a click sounding shortly after.

“Why didn’t you say anything? Does Becca know? This is so worth celebrating.”

Her excitement makes me feel silly for thinking no one would care, and it makes it all the harder to admit aloud. “I didn’t realize anyone would care,” I finally answer.

Xander tenses at my side. He really doesn’ t like that answer. Tate looks at me with concern, but I keep my eyes ahead of me, not meeting either of their questioning stares. Megan scoffs loudly from the back.

“That’s ridiculous. You should be shouting that shit from the rooftops. If you’re too shy to do that, I’ll shout it for you.”

“Thanks, Megan,” I laugh, thankful when we pull up to Barney’s and we can end this conversation.

Barney’s has the best burgers in town and is well versed in catering to the college students in the area. I’ve only been a handful of times, but it’s always been a good time. It has a very casual atmosphere with good music, great food, pool tables, and corn hole outside. It’s easy to spend a few hours here, even if you don’t drink.

Tate and James are the only ones in our group who can drink, but neither one of them orders a beer. Not that it surprises me. Tate prefers not to drink in season, even after a game. Only when they’re really celebrating will he and he usually regrets it.

As soon as we take our seats, a waitress stops by with two baskets of fries, one at each of the tables our group occupies. Barneys serves them like most Mexican restaurants serve chips and salsa. Baylor dives on the fries like a starving man and she gives a wry grin. “I’ll bring a couple more out,” she promises.

Xander’s hand falls to my thigh underneath the table and I close my eyes, sinking into his touch. I’m not even sure how he finagled to get the seat right next to me, but I’m glad he did.

I miss him.

The entire time we eat, Xander keeps our legs pressed together and I’ve never missed the island so much. There were so many moments for us to sneak away. But since coming home it’s been nearly impossible.

Megan began to feel comfortable with everyone quickly and you’d never know she hasn’t been friends with these guys forever. It makes me sad because it’s what I’ve wanted with Becca all along. But when I tried to bring her to the hockey games and get to know them, she pulled away.

She doesn’t even like to hear about them anymore and has lately acted like it’s a them versus her situation. Megan being here makes me realize how different it could have been if Becca had made the smallest effort rather than being upset with me for having a life outside of her.

She never showed up tonight, never even responded to my text. I don’t know what to make of any of it. I debate texting her again, but look around to find everyone laughing and smiling. Even Tate watches Zac and Wilder flirting with the waitress with a soft expression of fondness even as he feigns annoyance.

I’m the only one in my head. The only one not enjoying the night because I’m worried about someone who didn’t even have the decency to text me and let me know she’s okay.

“Where are you going to live next year?” Megan asks, drawing me out of my thoughts.

I shrug. I’ve thought a little bit about it, but not too much. “Probably the dorms.”

“Not with us?” Zac mocks, his hand on his chest.

That question doesn’t even deserve a response and all he gets is a look of disgust at the very idea of it. I would be the first person in history to have less freedom in college than at home.

“The dorms are the best decision,” Tate says. “Safe, practical, and they’re a good place to meet other freshmen.”

“They're small,” Isla cautions. “Torryn and I spent one year in them and swore never again.”

I laugh because I hear that pretty often, but I like the idea of having that experience. Of being able to understand everyone’s disdain for the dorms. It feels like it’s a part of the college experience .

“I’ll probably do dorms too,” Megan says. “Wherever I do end up.”

Conversation continues around us and it takes everything in me not to lean against Xander. I wish I was going home with him tonight. I wonder if I could manage to sneak over without anyone else noticing.

When almost everyone is done eating, people start to disperse. Zac, Wilder, Colby, Isla, and Wells decide to start a pool game and Colby asks Megan to be her partner. Wilder protests, making Zac smack a kiss against his cheek.

“Guess you’re stuck with me.”

I continue eating my fries, thankful Colby went out of her way to include Megan. The two of them seemed to have really hit it off in a way I wasn’t expecting. I hope she does get into Westbrook next year. We could even be roommates.

Torryn and Baylor move from the table next to us to ours and she gives me a speculative look while I still pick at my food. I’ve always been a slow eater.

She leans her elbows on the table, making eye contact with Beau. He immediately goes on guard. “What?”

“Just thinking,” she says, a smirk twisting her lips.

He narrows his eyes. “About what?”

“How many rounds it would take for me to kick your ass in corn hole.”

That is a gauntlet thrown down if I’ve ever seen one. And Beau is not one to pass up a challenge.

“Oh, you are so on.” Beau assesses each of us remaining at the table before nodding to himself. “Tate’s my partner.”

“What?” Tate asks, not having expected that. He doesn’t have much chance to protest before he’s being dragged off with Beau. Baylor rubs his hands together with a manic grin.

“This’ll be fun,” he nearly cackles. Tor pushes him to follow the other two, stopping only to look over her shoulder with a wink in our direction. She really is the greatest wingman to ever live.

Xander and I are suddenly alone and I lean into him only a little bit. We’re alone at the table but in a room full of people who could look this way any second.

“God, I’ve missed you,” he whispers, squeezing my thigh and a low heat begins to simmer in my gut. One touch and I’m already craving more.

“You changed your introduction,” I say, unable to keep myself from smiling.

He looks away but I see the slight flush to his cheeks and the way he tries not to smile right back at me. “It was for you, baby girl.”

“I loved it,” I whisper.

“Better get used to it cause it’s here to stay,” he teases and I wonder what the guys thought of him changing things up. Tate and Zac may be the only ones who really noticed though.

He pushes a strand of my hair behind my ear. “I want to kiss you,” he admits and damn I want that too.

I look around and no one is paying any attention to us, but it’s far too risky here. “You know, a sweatshirt would be more comfortable,” I say.

His eyes light up. “I just so happen to have one in my truck.”

We both grin like two stupid kids as we walk out of Barney’s and back to his truck. As soon as we’re out of sight of anyone we came with, Xander lifts me up in his arms and laughter spills out of me.

He presses me against the side of his truck and I rest my hands on his shoulders. “I’m so proud of you, Xan.”

“I’ve been dying to hear those words from your lips,” he admits. “You were with me every step of today, Em.” He presses his lips against mine and I lose myself to his kiss, loving the way his hard body feels against mine.

We lose ourselves in each other until I can’t feel the cold anymore and I forget all about the consequences of someone seeing us.

“I wish you were in a dress so I could fuck you right here, right now,” Xander murmurs in my ear and I clench around nothing. My mind races through the possibilities trying to figure out a way for me to feel him, but his dark chuckle settles over me.

“I’ve already run through all the different ways I could fuck you in this parking lot,” he says in a husky tone. “All of them are way too risky to consider with you. But I’ll make it up to you soon.”

I chew on my lip. “Can I sneak over tonight?”

He gives it some real thought before he shakes his head. “Everyone will be home and they’re already trying to figure out who has stolen all my attention.”

I blush even as disappointment settles in my gut. His thumb gently tugs my lip out from between my teeth.

“Don’t pout. I’ll escape tomorrow and come to you.”

“Promise?” I can’t help but push.

He kisses the tip of my nose. “Promise, brat.”

Xander opens his truck’s door and reaches in to pull out a sweatshirt and for the first time, I notice just how cold it is outside. I switch out the jersey for the sweatshirt and the soft material feels so much better against my skin. It’s huge on me and hits my mid-thigh but it makes it all that much warmer.

I snuggle into the jacket, smelling Xander and I feel closer to him.

“Perfect,” he says, watching me appreciatively. “Now, let’s go kick your brother’s ass in corn hole.”