18. Flood

Chapter 18

Flood

M ost memories fade like cheap, plated gold.

Insignificant. Irrelevant. Inconsequential.

But other memories? The expensive ones? Those stand the test of time.

Those memories, the precious and the priceless, they're stored. They're hidden behind sturdy walls, buried deep under thick soil, locked up behind impenetrable glass.

I keep those memories in the dark. Every day I force myself to forget, fearing they'll be retrieved, relived, remembered .

For five years I've kept his ghost at bay but as I run my trembling fingers through the lifeless fur of Pinto, I'm haunted by the past.

By what should have been my future.

No. Please, no.

"Hi, is this seat taken?" I glance to my right, craning my neck up to find the kindest green eyes looking down at me. Holy crap, I freaking love college. Clearing my throat, I tuck a piece of hair behind my ear as I timidly shake my head. The boy smiles as I slide over my microbiology textbook. He sits down, placing his phone on the desk. "Did I miss anything?" he whispers.

"N-no," I choke out in a harsh murmur. Oh God, seriously? Get it together. "Just some syllabi stuff, nothing too exciting."

"Speak for yourself." He grins at me with a coy shrug. "I happen to find the syllabus riveting."

"Oh..." I blink, unable to stop myself from zoning in on his perfect lips. "Huh."

He chuckles, holding out his hand. "I'm Daniel."

"What?" I ask, meeting his glimmering eyes. "Oh!" I let out an embarrassed giggle, nervously taking his hand in mine. "I'm Cami."

"Cami," he says with a smile, holding my gaze. "Pretty."

"Thanks," I blush, biting my lip. A text notification pops up on his phone, lighting up his screen. My eyes widen, and I pout at the screen saver. "Is that your dog?"

"Yeah! His name's Pinto." Daniel rotates his phone so I have a better angle. "I rescued him a year ago from a fighting ring."

"They still have those?" I frown, my heart hurting. "Poor baby."

"Yeah, it's disgusting," Daniel says with a sour scowl. "World's full of monsters that would do anything for a buck."

"You're not wrong," I say, sighing. Don't I know it. "He looks happy though, right?" I tilt my head. "You saved him."

Daniel chuckles. "Think he saved me actually."

"Really?" I ask. "How? "

"How about I tell you after class?" Daniel suggests, nodding at the professor. "Don't wanna miss the most exciting part of the semester."

I roll my eyes. "Fine."

He shoots me a wink. "It's a date."

"Please wake up," I whisper into Pinto's fur, my eyes glossing over, a flood of tears on the verge of spilling. "Please!"

"He likes you," Daniel comments, passing me the wet stick. I chuck it down the field. "See? I told you he would."

I snort. "It only took a year and like a bazillion treats."

Daniel laughs, wrapping his arm around my shoulder as he kisses my temple. "He'd be an idiot not to like you." He looks down at me, grinning. "Papa didn't raise no fool."

I facepalm. "God, you're cringe."

"And yet you can't get enough," he teases, gently tracing the outline of my jaw. "You know what I think, Cami?"

"What?" I ask, my spine shivering at his touch.

"I think..." he swallows. "I think you love me."

My breath hitches. "What would make you think that?"

"Do you?" he asks in a soft rasp. "Do you love me, Camilla?"

His emerald eyes pierce into my beating heart. "Do you want me to love you?"

"More than anything," he whispers.

"No!" I wail, burying my head into Pinto's chest. "No! Please! Stop! Stop it! Wake up! Please! This can't be happening! We had time! I need more time! I can't... I can't... No..."

"Fuck!" I slam my phone on the dining room table, spooking Pinto awake. "Fuckity fuck fuck! "

"Wow." Daniel pokes his head out of the kitchen of his apartment. He wipes his hand his the apron, frowning as he strides toward me. "What is it? What's wrong."

"Nothing," I mutter, chewing the inside of my cheek. "It's just..."

"What?" he asks, caressing my cheek. "Talk to me."

I sigh. "My parents want to meet you."

Daniel blinks for a second before grinning. "Finally!" I wince. "What? Are you worried they won't like me?" He crosses his arms. "I'll have you know that most parents love me. I have a certain je ne sais quoi that leaves them absolutely swooning. Trust me."

"It's not that. It's just..." Do I tell him? I have to, don't I? "It's just my family, they're not...normal."

Daniel's brows furrow. "No family is normal, Cami. Normal is a construct. You think my family's perfect? Hell no." He brings me into his arms. "Whatever it is, I'm sure I've heard it before."

I close my eyes, dread washing over me. "I guarantee you haven't."

"Please," I beg all the fucking Gods, gripping my dog. My phone rings, but I ignore it. "Please stop!"

"We can run," Daniel whispers, his face illuminated by the moonlight as we cuddle in bed together. "We can get married and run far, far away. To a place where they can't find us. Maybe a little island."

"They'd find us in a day, Danny," I sigh, snuggling into his chest. "You can't outrun destiny."

"Bullshit," he says. "We make our own destiny, Cami. You and me. We can do it. You don't need to have this life. You don't need to work for those people. "

I frown. "Those people are my family."

"They're criminals, Camilla," he states sternly. "They're not good people."

"Are you saying I'm a bad person?"

"Of course not," he says. "That's why we need to leave. You're not meant for this life, Cami. You know you're not." He pauses. "Neither am I."

"What are you saying?" I ask. "We run or what? Or we're over?"

"There's no or, Camilla," he says. "We run."

"We'll be running forever, Danny."

"I don't care," he says, kissing my temple. "As long as we're together, it doesn't matter if we never stop running."

"But how?" I ask. "I'm never alone for long. Someone's always nearby."

"I'm sure your father would give you space if say..." he smiles at me. "You were on your honeymoon."

I blink. "Honeymoon?"

"What do you say?" he asks. "Will you marry me, Camilla?"

"You're insane," I whisper. "Like actually a little nuts. I don't think I'm worth all this trouble."

He shakes his head. "I'd run from Heaven to Hell for you, Camilla."

"Oh God," I sob, excruciating pain ripping through my whole fucking body. "I'm so sorry! I'm so sorry! I'm so fucking sorry! I was so selfish, Danny! I was so..."

"Camilla!" A soothing but rough voice booms from behind and, suddenly, two hands are on my waist, pulling me up to my feet. "Camilla, are you okay?"

"He's dead," I cry, my vision blurred by the relentless tears coursing down my cheeks. "He's dead! They're both dead. Oh God... Oh my God... Make it stop. Please make it stop."

"Breathe, Camilla," Hayden hushes, pulling me into his chest. "Just breathe."

"I don't deserve to breathe," I whisper, soaking his button-up shirt as I fist the fabric. "It should've been me. Me! You don't understand. No one understands!"

"Let's go lay down," he suggests, guiding my listless body toward my bedroom. "I'm going to get you some water, okay?" He glances over his shoulder toward the living room. "And I'll make a call about..."

I wince, unable to look at Pinto's corpse.

"I'll be back in a second. Keep breathing, okay? Deep breaths, in and out."

I wipe my nose on my sleeve, hoping the tears will stop. I forgot how annoying crying could be. It's endless. A sea of misery just gushing out of your body. No permission. No fucking right. I have no control. Fucking zero. I hate it. I hate it so much.

"Someone will be here shortly for Pinto," Hayden says, handing me a glass of water. "Drink this."

"I don't want it," I say, sniffling. "Get me a real drink."

"No," he says, forcing the glass into my hand. "Drink the water."

I scowl at him but take a sip. "How?" I clear my throat, my mind clearing long enough for me to ask, "Why are you here?"

"I tried calling, but you didn't answer," he says, scanning my puffy eyes with a conflicted gaze. "I needed my jacket." He pauses, expression glitching to confusion. "I left my office keys in the pocket."

"Oh," I hum, sniffling, a pang of disappointment pinching my heart. "It's in the living room."

"Okay." He's silent for a charged minute, examining my every shallow breath before asking in a soft, inquisitive tone, "Who's Danny?"

"What?" I ask, taken aback, nausea stirring in my stomach.

"You kept saying 'I'm sorry, Danny'." Hayden perches on the edge of my bed, his thigh brushing against my bent knee. His eyes narrow with genuine intrigue. "Who's Danny?"

"Daniel was..." I close my eyes. There's no point anymore. The memories are ripped from their shackles. Unearthed from their tombs. Resurrected and reborn. They're here. "He was my..." I swallow, meeting Hayden's patient gaze. "He was my fiancé. Pinto was his dog...at first."

"I see," he hums, nodding his head slowly. "What happened to him? To Daniel?"

My jaw tenses as I shake my head. "I can't..."

"You can." Hayden places a reassuring warm palm on my shaking leg. Instant comfort. Like heroin. "Talk to me, Camilla." Hesitating for a brief moment, he lifts his hand to wipe a rolling tear from my cheek. "The worst is over."

It's odd. The feeling of release. Despite the heaviness sitting in my chest, I've never felt lighter. Like I've shed thousands of emotional pounds. Every tear was a ton. An anchor of grief weighing me down. Holding me. Filling my lungs with water. They're empty now. My lungs. I can breathe. I can feel the air entering my body. It hurts to breathe. But I can breathe.

"He died," I say, hanging my head. I'm ready. The final memory. The moment life ended and peril began. "He was killed on our wedding day."

"You look beautiful," Daniel whispers under his breath as I approach the altar. He holds out his hand, glancing over his shoulder. He smiles at our parents, giving my father a nod of respect. "Ready?"

"Yes," I say. A warm breeze blows through the white gown wrapped around my body, the delicate fabric flowing behind me as I step in front of the priest. "I'm ready."

"Good," Daniel whispers. "I love y ? —"

The fastest bullets can travel over 2600 feet per second. Twice the speed of sound. That's the thing with bullets. Once you hear the sound. It's already over.

One shot.

Two shots.

Three.

"So was the priest," I add, opening my weary eyes. "I should be dead too, but I was last." I pause, taking a shaky breath. "My family... My family has lots of enemies. That day... They won."

"Enemies?" Hayden asks, a perplexed frown marring his forehead.

"They're everywhere," I say, fatigue setting in as I rest against my headboard. "All the time." I place the glass of water on my bedside table. "I think I want to sleep now."

"Okay." Hayden tries to stand up, but I grab his wrist, meeting his sharp, green eyes.

"Stay with me," I whisper, loosening my grip. "Just until I fall asleep."

"I shouldn't," he says, not moving. Not standing. No conviction in his tone.

"I won't bite," I whisper. "I'm not a shark, remember?"

"No..." His jaw sets. "No, you are not."

The mattress lifts as Hayden stands up, his footsteps distant. Deflated by his departure, I turn on my side, hugging my knees. The light switches off and moments later, the edge of my bed sinks down. I open one eye, flipping around, Hayden's glowing silhouette in front of me.

"Sleep," he says, keeping his distance. "Close your eyes, Camilla, and sleep."

"Okay." I slide closer to him and rest my head on his chest as I grab the edge of the comforter and drape it over our bodies. "Just don't leave me." I yawn. "Not yet."

I can feel his hand hovering over my waist. It stays there for a long time. Like a polarizing magnet. But magnetic fields sometimes lose their charge.

I'm not sure whose charge deactivates first.

But he holds me.

All night long.