17. Reality

Chapter 17

Reality

S hould I call him? He probably wants it back, right? I mean, he didn't give it to me to keep forever. He just lent it to me. A temporary thing. I'll probably see him later in the week, anyway. I can return it then, right?

"What do you think?" I ask Pinto, swirling a glass of red wine around as my gaze lingers on Hayden's jacket which is draped over a bar stool. "Should I call him?" I look down at my sleepy pup. "Well?"

Pinto's snout flares as he lets out a labored breath, his eyelids flickering open for a second before closing.

"You're right," I say, focusing my attention on the TV screen as I give Pinto's scruff a good scratch. "I'll wait. I only saw him a day ago. If he wanted it back, he'd call me and ask."

Leaning back into the sofa, I force myself to relax and banish all thoughts of Hayden out of my mind. Today is a me day. Wine, trashy reality TV, and Chinese take-out. I think I deserve at least one day to focus on other people's problems rather than my own. As Christine is about to release total mayhem on Mary—these chicks are a total riot—my phone rings.

Grunting, I flip over my phone and check the caller ID. For fuck's sake. "What do you want?" I ask, pausing the second season of Selling Sunset . "I'm busy."

"Where are you?" Leo asks, his tone rough. "Why aren't you at the club? I need to talk to you right now ."

"I believe they invented telephones for this exact purpose, Leonardo," I say, scowling. "What do you want? Talk."

"This is a conversation I think we should have in person," Leo says. "Where are you?"

"At home," I grumble, closing my eyes. God, he's giving me a headache. "I'm taking the day off."

"You're taking the day off ?" Leo asks, voice laced with incredulous judgment. "I don't think you're in a position to take a day off, Camilla." He pauses briefly. "I talked to Malik."

My eyes spring open and I jerk forward, my heart sinking to my stomach. He knows about the offer. I'm going to fucking kill Alba. "What?"

"Meet me at Fanchino's in twenty minutes," he says. "I think there are a few things we need to discuss."

" We don't need to discuss anything," I say through my teeth. "Know your place, Leonardo."

"Nineteen minutes now," Leo says, unfazed. "Or I will tell The Council you've been withholding valuable information."

My jaw tenses. "You fucking bastard."

"Call me whatever you want, Camilla," Leo says, "but I'm done playing nice with you. You can't fix this on your own and you know it. You're just too fucking proud to ask for help, so I'm not waiting for you to grow a pair of balls anymore, okay? Eighteen minutes."

And he hangs up.

"Fuck!" I slam my phone on the coffee table, waking up Pinto. He opens his blue eyes and stares at me as I take deep breaths, hoping my body stops vibrating. "Shit, okay. This is fine. It's fine. So what if Leo knows? It's still my decision, right? He can't force me to do anything, right? But if he tells The Council..." I bury my face into my hands, unable to think of a solution. "Maybe he's right. Maybe I do need help..." Damn it. I glance down at Pinto and give him a gentle kiss on the head. "I love you, bean. I'll be right back."

A foul taste manifests in my mouth as I drag myself off the couch. I know how Leo's going to try and help . I glance at the paused TV screen. Lucky. I'd trade lives with Mary if I could. My reality is actually real.

I grab my purse and head out the door.

And I wish it wasn’t.

"He's in the lounge," the hostess says as I enter the restaurant. Pulling a smoke out of the pack, I light it up. She doesn't comment. No one does. Even though my name's not on the door, this place is mine. Well, technically it's my fathers, but it's under my name now. One of our many fronts. "Do you want a drink?"

"No," I say as we near the lounge. I glower at Leo as he whips his head in my direction. His neutral expression throws me off. Based on his tone, I expected...anger. Frustration. But I don't see it. Likely a mask. Alcohol won't help me decode his intentions any faster. Can't risk it. I need to be present for this conversation. No influence. "Just water. Sparkling."

"Right away, Miss Bianco," the hostess says, scurrying away.

"And with a minute to spare," Leo says, cocking a brow as I take a seat in front of him and puff on my cigarette. "Guess fighting fire with fire works after all." He pauses, rubbing his chin. "You look tired, Mils."

"Talk," I say, hardening my stare. "You wanted to talk, so talk."

"Stop being so hostile." Leo lets out a sigh as he scans my face. "I want to help you. I'm here to help you, Mils, but...but I can't do that if you won't let me." He reaches across the table, looking for my hand. I pull it away, frowning. He sighs again, shaking his head. "You already know what you need to do." He reaches into his jacket pocket and pulls out a velvet box. "It's the only option, Mils." He opens the box, a diamond ring wedged into the cushion bed. "Marry me."

"No." My jaw locks. "I will find another way."

"The Council will never agree to partner with The Dragons," Leo says in a gentle tone as his finger slides over the ring. "But this? This is a no-brainer, Mils." He shrugs, smiling at me. "If anything...it's destiny."

"I will not be marrying anybody," I state, gritting my teeth. The ghost of Daniel haunts my subconscious. "Especially not you . "

Leo's face falls, a glint of sadness in his dark eyes. "I saved your life, Camilla. You can't hate me for that."

"But I do," I say, my chest roaring with flames. "I fucking despise you, Leo. You—" I swallow. "You should've let me die. You should've let them kill me too!"

"Let you die?" Leo's head snaps up, lips twitching. "I fucking loved you, Camilla! I literally threw myself in front of a fucking bullet for you!" He points a shaky hand at his right shoulder. "I would've died for you."

"You loved me?" I expel a maniacal laugh. "You loved me? You fucking left me, Leo! My entire world was crumbling around me, and you fucking left! That night I lost both of you. I lost fucking everything."

"I had to leave," Leo whispers in a pained tone. "I loved you, Mils. But you...you didn't love me back."

"What?" I ask in confusion. "You know I loved you, Leo. You kno?—"

"No," he says, hanging his head low. "Not in the way I loved you."

I blink, taken aback. "What?"

"Exactly," he sighs. "You didn't even see it. You didn't see me . You didn't see me as anything other than a friend." His face contorts into a scowl. "Than a brother ."

As I stare at Leo, sparring emotions battle for supremacy in my brain. Shock has a strong right hook. It knocks down confusion. Grief comes in hot but is trampled by regret. Longing rears its ugly head but is cut down by pain.

They can fight all they want, but there's always only one victor.

It wins every time.

Anger.

"So you were in love with me?" I seethe. "You loved me, Leo? Really? How? How did you love me? My fucking fiancé was shot and killed right before my eyes! Right before we got to say I do! And you leave a week later? You fucking abandoned me!"

"I had to..." Leo whispers, swallowing. "I couldn't stay and watch?—"

And it clicks.

"You couldn't stay and watch me grieve for another man?" I ask, disgust lacing my voice. "Is that what you were going to say?" Leo doesn't reply, looking away sheepishly. My heart hammers in my chest as I stand up and circle the table. Kneeling down beside him, I cup his cheek, lifting his face so that he's fucking forced to look at me as I whisper, "You are a weak man, Leonardo. A weak, selfish man." I caress his stubble with my thumb. "You are not worthy of my name."

"Cam—"

"Shh," I hush, leaning into his ear and whispering, "You will keep your mouth shut, Leonardo." I curl my arm around his body, pressing two fingers into the spot where he was shot five years ago. "If you do not—" I dig in deeper, "—I will personally put a bullet between your cowardly eyes."

"I don't believe you," Leo whispers in a shaky tone. "You couldn't do it."

"You should've let that bullet kill me, Leo," I say, pulling away as I pat his cheek before standing up. I peer down at him. "That night I died a different kind of death. You can't fathom the things I can do now. "

Leo swallows. "I miss the old you."

I cock my head to the side. "Then you shouldn't have killed her."

"Cam—"

"I'm done talking," I say, grabbing my purse off of the table. "I have five days until Malik needs an answer. Be useful and look into The Dragons for me. I want to know their organization inside and out."

"The Council will never agree?—"

"I do not need their approval," I say, glaring at Leo. "They are merely advisors."

"Be rational, Camilla," Leo says. "You need their support."

"Then find me something I can use to sway them," I say. "You wanted to help me, right? That's what you can do."

"You're making this harder than it needs to be," Leo says, glancing at the velvet ring box. "I might be selfish, but you are too. This is about our families, Camilla. Not your pride."

"This isn't about pride," I say. "This is about strength. And you?" I shrug. "You'd be the fall of us all."

"I am not weak," Leo grunts, abruptly standing up and towering over me.

I look up at him, smiling. "The weak run, Leo. But the strong? They stay put. They fight. Call me when you have something."

"You are just as weak as I am!" Leo calls after me as I head toward the exit. "We can all see it! You're not fooling anybody!"

Breathe .

Don't look back. Only forward.

"Enjoy the rest of your evening, Miss Bianco," the hostess says timidly as she hands me a bag. "Here's a little something for Pinto."

I give her a weak smile as I leave the restaurant. "Thank you."

My father was right. Love makes you weak.

Love kills. Destroys. Ruins everything.

I loved and I lost. Leo loved and he left. No matter how much love gives, in the end, it only takes.

It takes the good and turns it evil. It takes joy and creates misery. It turns hope into hopelessness.

Love never lasts.

"Pinto?" I call out his name as I get home, my temples pulsing from fatigue as I shake the goodie bag. "Pinto? I got a little treat for you." I turn on the lights on my way to the living room, grinning as I find him in the same spot I left him. "Wake up, baby." My smile fades when he doesn't move. I rush toward him, dropping down on my knees. "Pinto?"

Nothing.

No movement. No breathing. No life.

The walls close in around me. Suffocating me until I can't breathe.

Love never lasts.

It's always taken.