13. Memory

Chapter 13

Memory

I t's been five years since my options have been limited. Since I've had to settle for a choice. A decision. Since I've had to push my pride aside and say yes to something I didn't like or want or believe in.

That day, I swore it was the last time. The last time I'd ever be put in a position where I'd have no voice.

No say.

No power over my will and fate.

I've made the wrong choice before, and it broke me. And everyone around me. It eviscerated everything good in my life. Gutted my heart, my mind, my spirit, and left me hollow, empty, and ready to be rebuilt.

Reshaped. Reformed.

Reborn.

I rose from his ashes and became the thing he loathed the most. I became a purveyor of punishment. An empress of evil. A duchess of debauchery. I became the judge. The jury. And the executioner. But more importantly, I unintentionally became someone with nothing to lose if everything was taken from her.

All because of a choice, and the programming that followed.

Since that day, the sky's been the limit.

Until now.

"Have you told your dad about Alba's idea?" Zoey asks, sitting on the other side of my glass desk, a computer perched on her lap. She continues typing and adds, "Maybe he'd have a solution."

"I'm keeping my father out of this until I decide what to do," I say, slowly rotating a vodka martini on the table as muted trance music floats through my office at the club. "I need to figure this out on my own. He left me in charge for a reason. I can't go crying to him every time something goes wrong."

"Well, you only have two options, Cami." Zoey looks up, chewing the inside of her cheek. "At least that narrows things down, right?"

"Fuck." I throw my head back and rest my neck on the edge of the velvet armchair as I hike my feet up on the desk. "I can't believe this is happening. There's no way The Council will agree to partner with The Dragons on this." I sigh, closing my eyes and thinking out loud. "Or maybe they would...if I frame it like an alliance? I could argue that since Wei Zhao appears to be putting all his assets into rebuilding the North American faction, it would be smart to stay out of their line of fire, right?" I force my head upright as I look at Zoey. "Right?"

"That would work," Zoey mutters, concentrating on her computer screen. "You've convinced me. "

"Zoey!" I snap, jerking up as I glare at her. "Pay attention, this is more important than whatever it is you're doing on that thing!"

"Okay, sorry." She closes the laptop. "I'm just working on a new program, it's almost done."

"I don't care!" I slam my elbows on the desk, dropping my head into my hands. "We need a solution, and we need one now."

"You still have a few weeks, right?" Zoey asks in a calm tone, sensing my budding distress. "It's not like you need to decide tomorrow." She pauses, gaze shifting to the floor as she whispers, "You could always go with option A."

"What was that?" I whip my head at her, glowering. "Option A? Seriously?"

"I'm just saying." Zoey sighs, giving me an apologetic smile. "Seems easier than B."

"Easier?" I scoff. "Chaining myself down for all of eternity is easier?" I let out an incredulous laugh. "Your definition of easy is shockingly different from mine."

"It could just be a paper marriage," Zoey suggests innocently. "Purely for business. People do it all the time, Cami."

"I know how an arranged marriage works, Zoella!" I down the rest of the martini. "It's not the act itself that I have an issue with, it's the principle of the matter!"

"The principle?" Zoey frowns. "What do you mean?"

"Zoey," I whisper, clicking my tongue, a faint sense of jealousy pricking my heart. "How do you not get it? If I marry a man just to prove to other men that I am capable of doing my job, what does that say about me?" Zoey shrugs silently. "If I do it, Zoe, it'll be like I'm agreeing with them. Like I'm... exactly what they think I am. Volatile. Unhinged. And... weak ."

"But you're not," Zoey says in a quiet voice. "You're not any of those things. You're smart and strategic and you don't take shit."

"There's a different dictionary for men and women, Zoey," I say matter-of-factly. "And this dictionary's definitions don't paint us in a good light."

"Oh," Zoey hums uncomfortably. "I guess marriage is off the tabl?—"

"Marriage?" Our heads whip to the door as Leo barges in with a scotch in hand. His suspicious gaze darts between me and Zoey. "What's this about a marriage?"

"Learn to knock," I grunt, not giving away the anxiety rumbling in my chest. Time to mask up and pretend. Like usual. "We're in the middle of something."

"Care to share?" Leo casually strolls into my office. "Maybe I can help whatever...sticky situation you seem to be in."

"When I need your advice, Leo, I'll ask." I frown at him. "Why are you here?"

"Cocktails and company," Leo grins, giving me a wink. "I'm impressed, Mils, you've got yourself quite the establishment here."

"I know." I cross my arms. "I'm very successful."

"I can see that," Leo laughs, glancing at his sister. "So a marriage, huh? Is there something I should know, Zoey? Are you planning on eloping like…" He freezes, clearing his throat as he looks at me. My spine seizes when our eyes meet. "I'm sorry, Mils, I?—"

"Enjoy your night," I say through my teeth, glaring at him. "Remember to tip my dancers."

"I didn't mean to." His expression softens into sympathy, a disgusting emotion laced with betrayal and bitter resentment. He tries to take a step forward but I point at the door, making myself clear. "Okay, fine, I'm leaving." He looks at Zoey. "Call me later, okay?"

"Mhmm," Zoey hums, chewing the inside of her lip. The piggy in the middle. A tough position to be put in, but she knows her allegiance. "I'll call you tomorrow."

"Cami!" Kody yells, expression alarmed as he stumbles into my office and rushes toward my desk. "We need you! There's a problem in room two." He catches his breath. "Javier's with a client and he tried to..." He glances over his shoulder, swallowing as Leo watches us attentively. "He tried to..."

"Let's go." I grab a switchblade from my desk drawer. "Zoey, stay here, got it?"

"No..." Her legs are shaky as she stands up. "I can do it, Cami. I can?—"

"I said stay ," I command, circling the desk and brushing past Leo as I follow Kody through the throngs of patrons. "Do we have his info, Kody? We registered him?"

"Yes," Kody says, looking back at me. "He's new though. First time here."

"First and last," I say, marching toward the private alcoves. Kody waits off to the side as I push open the purple velvet curtains and reveal the disgusting scene. Bunny has a well-groomed babbling middle-aged man cornered on the side. I glance at Javier who's sitting on the far end of the couch, hugging himself. "Are you okay, Javi?"

"No..." Javi shakes his head, unable to look at me. "He tried to touch me and?—"

"Go with Kody," I say, placing a comforting palm on his shivering shoulder. "Kody, run through protocol and report back, okay?" I squeeze Javi's hand as he brushes past me. "I'll take care of it."

"Thank you," Javi mumbles as he disappears down the hallway.

I frown when I see Zoey and Leo lingering outside the alcove. She never fucking listens. First things first.

"You can go," I say to Bunny who silently slips away. My expression hardens as I stalk toward the pitiful excuse of a human. "What's your name?"

"Are you the manager?" the middle-aged man slurs. "I want to talk to the manager. This place is fucked, I tell you! I come in here for a good time, and?—"

"Your name?" I ask again, flicking open the blade in my hand as I push the man against the wall, my forearm pushing against his chest. I point the sharp edge of the knife against his stomach, and he lets out a startled yelp.

"It's... It's Vince..." he stammers. "What are you... What're you doing?"

"Did you try to touch one of my dancers, Vince?" I ask, my cold gaze flicking between his predatory eyes. Vince says silent, hyperventilating. "Answer my question."

"Y-yes but?—"

"There are no buts, Vince." I drag the blade down his stomach toward the base of his dick. "Did Javier say it was okay for you to touch him? Hmm?"

"Not verbally," he whispers, terror sprawled across his face. "But I could?—"

"Are you a mind reader, Vince?" I press the blade deeper. Not deep enough to hurt him but enough to make him feel as scared and as helpless as he made Javi feel. "Are you?"

"N-no," he mumbles. "Please let me go. I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry."

"Are you right-handed, Vince?"

"Left," he breathes. "Why...why…?"

"Hold out your hands." I release him from my grip as I take a step back. He hesitates, confused. "Hands out."

"Why?" he asks, following my orders. As soon as his palms are face up, I slice the blade across the flesh of his left hand. He screams as blood gushes down his arm. "You fucking crazy bitch!"

"You think that was crazy?" I cock my head and let out a little chuckle. "Funny, 'cause I was going to cut your dick off instead. Compared to that, doesn't this seem pretty tame?"

Vince holds his bleeding hand, his face paling. "I'm going to sue you! I'm going to fucking sue you!"

"Good luck," I snort, wiping the bloody knife on my pants. "If you ever try and touch another dancer, I hope you remember that scar on your hand. And it will scar, Vince. It'll be there forever. But if it does fade, I'll remember you." I pause, features hardening. "And I never forget, Vince. Let alone forgive."

"Who are you?" Vince swallows .

"You don't want to know," I whisper, nodding at the exit. "I think it's time for you to leave, Vince." He rushes past me, and I grab his arm, digging my nails into his skin. "Remember my face, Vince, because it'll be the last thing you see if I hear your name ever again, understood?"

"Yes." He shakes me off and runs toward the exit.

"Nicely done." Leo purses his lips, nodding. "A little dramatic but nicely done."

"Shut up." I roll my eyes, walking up to Zoey. Her hands are trembling as she stares into the empty alcove. I place a hand on her cheek, and she flinches. "Go home, Zoey."

"I'm fine," she whispers, blinking. "I'm fine."

"Go home, Zoey," I say in a gentler tone. "You need to go home."

"I..." She shakes her head, closing her eyes. "I don't want to be alone. I want to stay here with you. Please, Cami."

"You can go to my place then," I suggest. "Pinto will keep you company."

"Come with me," she says, desperation in her voice as she opens her eyes. "Please."

"I have work to do here, Zoe."

Her wounded core screams at me as she whispers, "Please, Cami."

"Fine," I say, her pain entering my heart and transporting me back to her dorm room. "Go get our stuff from my office, okay? I'll meet you out front. I need to speak to Bunny first. "

"Okay," she says with a weak smile and then hurries off.

Leo perks a brow. "What was that?"

I scoff, scowling at him. "If you stayed, Leo. You'd know."

"What happened?" He glances toward my office. "What happened to Zoey?"

"Ask her," I say, walking toward the bar to find Bunny. "It's not my story to tell."

But it's my burden to bear.