34. Adam

Chapter thirty-four

Adam

Lucien's low murmurs filter through Sam's bedroom door, but I don't move from the bed. It's late afternoon, and Sam and Kieran are out—they have been since just before midday, when Sam brushed my hair back from my face and murmured a goodbye.

I sigh, rolling onto my side. Lucien's talking to Drew, who's hardly responding, though I know that won't upset Lucien any. He's trying to comfort him, and I hope he's succeeding.

There's one thing I just don't get.

Drew has to know we're both his, right? Even when I slipped into Sam's room last night, he was still angry—though he all but dragged me into bed when I offered to stay in the living room. I don't know what I'd have done if he hadn't. Drew wanted to be alone. That much was obvious.

But Sam seems less certain than I do, and I don't know why. He's got enough magic in him that he should be able to notice a bond.

I throw back the covers with an irritated noise and drag yesterday's T-shirt over my head. I need to set eyes on Drew, to be certain he's okay. Physically, anyway.

When I step out into the living room, both Drew and Lucien look up at me. The TV is playing quietly in the background, but I don't think either of them has been watching it; Lucien is sitting in an armchair, one ankle resting on his opposite knee, entirely at ease. Drew has his arms wrapped around his middle, his shoulders slumped.

"Hey," I murmur. I'm definitely not as angry with him as Sam is—and I think Sam's angrier at everyone else than he is at Drew. "Are you—"

"I-I need to shower."

Drew all but runs out of the room and closes the bathroom door behind him. I stare at it for a moment in silence. Well. I guess he doesn't want to speak to me, either.

"Come and sit down," Lucien says. When I don't move, he sighs and pushes a bag next to the coffee table. "I have clothes for you."

I pick up the bag before I sit on the sofa, taking the spot Drew just vacated. My mouth is dry, fear creeping along my limbs that I can't fight.

"What do I do?" I ask.

Lucien sighs. He rests his chin on his hand, steadily meeting my gaze. "Wait."

"What?"

"You know what to do," he says. "Give him time. Wait for him. For both of them."

My chest hurts, and I don't know if it's coming from Drew or from Sam or if it's just me, sad and disappointed and lost for the first time in a while. When I rub it, Lucien sighs.

"Have you talked about that?" he asks more quietly. The water is on in the bathroom, but who knows how well Drew can hear.

I shake my head.

"It will not help right now. He is scared, Adam. Scared of Hale, yes, but scared of losing you and Sam, too."

"He told you that?"

"No," Lucien says, and his smile is faint. "But I recognise the feeling. I also recognise a stubborn wolf when I see one."

I can't help my snort, and Lucien's smile widens. I shake my head. "You really think Kieran will win?"

"Yes."

No hesitation. No doubt. When I look at Lucien, he stares placidly back, and fuck, he really does believe in him, doesn't he?

"He doesn't have a wolf, though, and I don't know how these challenges work, but—"

"Adam."

I snap my mouth shut.

"I believe in him. I know he will do whatever it takes to protect those he cares about, and I know that he cares for his brother in a way he cares for few others. He will not lose, not if Drew is at risk."

I want to fight for Drew, too, but I'm not foolish enough to go up against an alpha wolf, even if I'm older than he is. Drew seems entirely averse to fighting, and I'm not like that, but I'm not like our mage, either.

"Yeah, okay," I say. I do feel… calmer, seeing Lucien so sure. I don't think it's just for show, just to make me feel better. "Where are they?"

"With Ophelia and Dante." Lucien's eyes flick to the bathroom door. The shower's still on. "Sam wanted to get out of here. I am surprised you did not hear him and Kieran arguing about that this morning."

"Arguing?"

"Sam did not want Kieran to accompany him, but Kieran insisted." Lucien's lips twitch. "So did Ophelia, when Sam called."

"Well, if he's going to listen to anyone…" I say with a laugh.

"Time, Adam. God knows we have enough of it."

He's not wrong, and I nod so he understands I get it. The TV's playing some reality show, so I flick it over to a period piece I think Drew will enjoy before I stand again.

"You can remain out here," Lucien says, but I shake my head.

"You've got him," I say. "And I think… I don't think he wants me here right now."

It hurts to say it, and Lucien hears it, but he doesn't let me down. He never does.

"All right. Get some more rest."

I slip back into Sam's room and strip off my T-shirt before I climb back into bed. It's a few minutes before I hear the bathroom door open, and the low rumble of Drew's voice raised in a question. I don't try to understand the words. I close my eyes and drift off to the hum of him and Lucien speaking to each other.

I wake later when someone comes into the room. I don't open my eyes when I realise it's Drew, his footsteps light as he wanders, searching for something. Whatever it is, he finds it quickly, but then he pauses next to the bed.

I do my best to keep myself still, to pretend I'm still sleeping. Does he want me to wake? Does he want me to ask him to climb into bed, to wrap myself around him the way I want to?

He lets out a heavy sigh and shifts from foot to foot. "I'm sorry," he whispers, and the despair in his voice almost overwhelms me. "I wish it could've been the three of us, but I—It'll be best if I—"

I fight the urge to open my eyes. What is he talking about? Why can't it be the three of us? Sam's angry, but we can deal with that, especially together.

"I don't want to hurt you again," Drew whispers, and then all but flees the room.

My eyes snap open as soon as the door closes, and I sit up in bed. I clench my jaw. He'd better not be thinking of trying to leave again. Absolutely not. If he doesn't want me or Sam, if he wants to be left alone, that's one thing. But I'm not having him put himself in danger just because he thinks he's hurt us that badly.

We're big boys. We'll be fine.

I climb out of bed and dig through the bag Lucien gave me, starting to dress. I showered last night, and besides, I want to face Drew fully clothed for this. Fuck waiting. I'm not going to let this wound fester.

Only, the moment I drag another T-shirt over my head, I hear the front door open, and Sam and Kieran come inside. Kieran's greeting is bright, but Sam murmurs his before his footsteps head straight for his room. He lets himself inside and closes the door, leaning back against it. For a moment, he stands there, head resting against the door, exposing the pale line of his throat.

My heart thumps hard in my chest. My fangs ache, begging to drop, begging for me to press my face against Sam's throat and let them sink in deep.

He lifts his head, eyes flashing when he spots me standing there.

"I thought you were still asleep," he says.

I shrug. It's dark out now, and I flick on the light so he can see better. "Just woke up again."

Sam hums. He shrugs off his jacket, letting it drop as he walks—no, prowls towards me. I swallow and take a step back, sitting back on the bed when my thighs hit the mattress.

I part my legs so Sam can step right between them, bringing our bodies close. When I tilt my head back to look up at him, his expression is unreadable, though something dangerous glimmers in his eyes.

"Sam—"

He kisses me. It's a hard kiss, almost frantic, and I try to ignore the pull in my chest the moment our lips meet. I don't want to try to read what he's feeling as he bites my lower lip hard enough to make me gasp.

I don't need to. I know him well enough.

He sucks marks down my throat, and beyond this room, I hear the front door shut. There's only one heartbeat out there. Only Drew. "Sam," I say.

Sam clambers into my lap. He lets out a little sound when his arms go around me, worrying a piece of my skin between his teeth. I moan and grab his hips, barely managing to shake my head. "Stop."

He does, instantly, looking up at me with curiosity in his eyes. We haven't let go of each other, and I don't want to. I just want—no, need to sort this out.

"What are you doing?"

Sam's smirk doesn't reach his eyes, dark and troubled as they are. "What do you think?"

There's still anger in his face, in the set of his shoulders, and all at once, I realise it's not directed at Drew, or Kieran, or even Hale.

He's angry at himself.

He kisses me again and I kiss him back, trying to keep things gentle. He pushes for more. Sam presses up against me, rolling his hips. His hands are tight and possessive, teeth nipping my lower lip.

I pull back again, breathing hard. "Answer me properly."

Sam bares his teeth. "I did."

"No. No. " I let go of him entirely, though I'm careful to make sure he doesn't fall off my lap. "You want me to… You're angry, but you don't want to take it out on me. You want me to take it out on you ."

Shock makes Sam's eyes widen but only for a second. His hand drifts towards his chest, but he jerks it aside at the last moment, and I think he's not even aware of the movement.

"Fine," he bites out.

Does he not know?

Does Drew not know?

"Get out of here, then."

I blink at him. "Sorry, what?"

Sam climbs off me and crosses his arms over his chest. "Get out."

I let out a frustrated sound and get to my feet. "Fine."

He doesn't look at me as I leave the room, closing the door firmly behind me. Drew knows there's a bond. I'm sure of that. He can't have missed it. But does he know it's the three of us?

Is it the three of us?

Drew's sitting on the sofa and he looks up at me with wary eyes. I cross to the window and look out. The night's clear, and I can't see anything out of the ordinary.

"Where's Lucien?" I ask.

Drew's shoulders jerk. "He—They left. To see Vasile, I think." His voice is small, and as he speaks, he makes himself smaller, too.

I look outside again. If there are mages, I'll sense them. I trust Chaya and Deacon to have the wolves in hand.

I can't stay here. Not right now.

I cross to the door and put my shoes on. When I reach for the door handle, Drew stands, a sound escaping him that gives me pause. I glance back over my shoulder.

"I can't be in here for another second," I say, and where I expected my voice to be steady, strong, it comes out almost broken. I squeeze my eyes shut.

We can't all be out of control. I'm supposed to be able to handle at least this.

When I open my eyes again, Drew's still standing there, watching me. He nods once, flicking off the TV before he comes closer. He looks… determined.

"Let me come with you."

"No, I-I'll just go for a walk. I'll be back soon, I swear, I just—"

Drew reaches for me. He doesn't touch, his hand hovering maybe an inch away from my forearm, but he holds it there, and his heart is steady.

"I'm coming with you," he says.