Chapter 4

chapter 4

Maeve

The vampire is watching me again.

In the week since I’ve been aboard the Audacity, it seems like every time I turn around, there’s a weight of a contemplative gaze on the back of my neck. It’s always her. Every time. The only small mercy is the fact that she’s taken to avoiding our shared room. I don’t know if I would’ve gotten a single hour of sleep otherwise. I’d like to say it’s her being considerate, but all evidence points to the contrary.

I’m not used to people taking one look at me and deciding they dislike me. Usually, my face is enough to have strangers spilling secrets and placing their trust in me within a few minutes of meeting. I look younger than I am—and innocent. It allows people to underestimate me, which is something that’s served me well. Served the rebellion well.

But Lizzie doesn’t trust me. She doesn’t seem to like me much, either. Which is fine. Better than fine, even. I have my hands full arguing with Nox about the need for me to reclaim my skin. They refuse to divert their course to Viedna, my home island. Tucking me back safely where the rebellion needs me most.

It’s not enough.

My connection to my skin was severed the moment it was stolen from me, but there’s a part of me that’s certain I can feel the distance between us growing greater with every day that passes. I can’t help but fear that if too much time and distance pass, I’ll never be whole again.

I wish I could hold Nox’s refusal against them, but I’m participating in the same rebellion they are. No one individual is more important than the cause. I may contribute a significant amount of information and assist with guiding people back to their portals, but ultimately I’m only a single person in a vast network that spans the length and breadth of Threshold.

“It’s frustrating when they won’t do what you want.”

I yelp and startle several feet backward. I hadn’t realized Lizzie was so close until she spoke right at my shoulder. Embarrassment heats my skin. I tuck my hair behind my ears and move closer, even though my instincts demand more space between us so that I can maneuver in the event of an attack.

Lizzie shows no indication that she considers my response an overreaction. She just watches me with fathomless dark brown eyes. I’ve always been told that my eyes are true black rather than a deep brown, but hers have less to do with color than with power. There are old legends about avoiding looking a vampire in the eyes to prevent them from mesmerizing you, but Evelyn quietly confided to me that while there are bloodline families with the power to glamour—they do it using their voice—that’s not the bloodline Lizzie hails from.

I still get a thrill when I meet her gaze.

“What do you want? You’ve been watching me for days. Unless you plan on eating me, I need you to back off.”

“Eating you?” The way she says it gives the words an insinuation that I absolutely did not intend. Probably.

If anything, my face flames brighter. “That’s not what I meant.”

“I suppose I should reassure you that I have no intention of?.?.?. eating you.” Lizzie hasn’t looked away from my face. I’m not even certain she’s blinked. It’s eerie in the extreme. “We’ve both lost something vital to us. Nox isn’t in the market for playing finder. I’m not certain if you have a timeline on reacquiring your skin before the magic breaks, but it seems better to accomplish that task sooner rather than later.”

She’s not saying anything I haven’t already considered myself, but it still feels like she reached out and struck me. “I suppose you have a point in all of this verbal circling.”

Lizzie blinks as if I surprised her. Her lips shift in something that’s almost a smile. “I’ll help you reacquire your skin. In return, you will act as a guide and help me find the Crimson Hag.”

The Crimson Hag. It’s the C?n Annwn ship Bowen used to be the captain of. As best I can tell from the gossip on board, his crew voted him off after he sided with Evelyn in a fight against a dragon. It’s a story that seems to defy belief. In the few encounters I’ve had with Bowen previously when he’s come through the port on my island, he seemed to be the very essence of the C?n Annwn: Cold. Unquestioning. Absolutely ruthless when it comes to hunting down the so-called monsters of this world.

Funny how the C?n Annwn are the ones to decide who’s a monster and who isn’t.

The man now part of the crew on the Audacity seems a changed person entirely. I don’t know what happened between losing his ship and coming on board, but there’s a new fervor in his eyes that matches Nox’s. They’re true believers in the cause.

Which means they’re no help to me in my current predicament.

“What did the Crimson Hag steal from you?” I finally ask. I can’t pretend having Lizzie at my side wouldn’t be an asset. She and Nox took out an entire ship full of the C?n Annwn. It’s the kind of protection that would cost a small fortune if I were paying for it.

And all she wants in return is a guide.

“A set of priceless family heirlooms. I need to reclaim them before I can return home.”

I can’t trust this woman. She’s obviously dangerous in the extreme and ruthless enough to murder her way to her goals. But if she needs a guide, then she has a vested interest in keeping me alive. And if we’re retrieving my pelt first, I can always escape her if I need to. She might be fearsome, but in my other form, I can swim faster and hold my breath significantly longer. She’ll never catch me.

Still?.?.?.

I clear my throat. “I’ll think about it. We have a couple days before we reach Viedna. I’ll give you my answer then.”

“So be it.” She lets me walk a few steps before she speaks again. “Maeve.”

I don’t want to stop, don’t want to turn back and look at her gorgeous face again. I do both. “What?”

“Find something else to do for a while before you come back to the room tonight.”

I blink, understanding making me blush against my will. “Are you fucking someone in our room?” The question comes out sharper than I intend, but it’s not for any jealous reason. I don’t know Lizzie. She’s as gorgeous as some fey creature designed solely to lure the unwary through a mushroom circle—and just as dangerous. I’m not certain I want to be trapped in close proximity with her, even if it’s looking increasingly like she’s my only chance to get my pelt back. Having anything other than a working relationship is a fool’s bargain.

“No.” She doesn’t blink. “I need to feed. I don’t mind an audience, but it makes people like you uncomfortable to witness.”

People like me.

What does that mean?

She walks away before I can decide if I want to respond—or what I’d even say. It’s just as well. We have vampires in Threshold?.?.?. I think. I’ve heard rumor of them a time or two, but I’ve never encountered them personally. They’re said to be ravening beasts that hunt in the darkness and hide from the light. The sun doesn’t seem to bother Lizzie in the least.

I’ve got to stop thinking about the vampire. I’ll do that. Right now?.?.?.

To distract myself, I try once more to convince Nox to change their plans. I know it’s a lost cause, but since it’s becoming clear that the alternative is to ask Lizzie for help, I’m getting desperate. “Please, Nox. If I have to take the vow—”

“No.” They cut me off sharply. “In fact, fuck no. I am not putting that chain around anyone’s neck, let alone someone I actually care about. I’m sorry I can’t help, Maeve. Truly, I am. But things are in motion, and not even I can stop them.”

“What things?”

They take a deep breath, obviously striving for patience. Their legendary flirtation is nowhere in evidence. “You are an informant and a very vital part of our network in this region of Threshold.”

The cold finger of fear slides down my spine. “Why are you saying it like that?”

“I’m acknowledging that you have been instrumental in getting numerous people home and saving lives, because what I say next is less kind.” They meet my eyes steadily. “You are not C?n Annwn. This is your fight because you’re a citizen of Threshold, but it’s not your fight in the same way that it’s mine and everyone else’s on this ship. You could go back to your life, stop working with the rebellion, and live to a ripe old age, unbothered by the shit we’re fighting for.”

My throat burns and my skin heats. I’ve considered Nox a friend, but I want to scream in their face at how dismissive their words are. “That’s not fair.”

“That’s reality, love.” Their smile is bittersweet. “You don’t have to hunt down your pelt. That bastard will bring it around again, wanting to use it against you. Just be patient.”

I stop short. “I thought we were friends.”

“I’m not speaking of this.” They take my shoulder and turn me toward the door of their cabin. “And I’m not having this conversation again, Maeve. I’m sorry about your pelt, but I have my orders, and those take precedence.”

I hate the burning in my eyes. Hate how my body betrays my anger with tears. Hate how anyone witnessing it will assume that I’m weeping to gain sympathy. “Then, why save me at all?”

“Even monsters have attacks of conscience, love.” Nox nudges me out the door and closes it firmly behind me.

If they understood what a pelt is to a selkie, they wouldn’t be so quick to dismiss the loss. If Nox was a shifter, they might have more sympathy, but perhaps not. It would get in the way of the rebellion’s grand plan, after all.

I shake my head. I’m tired and heartsore, and want nothing more than to strike out at anyone in my vicinity. If I wasn’t missing a vital part of myself, I would be more sympathetic to Nox’s situation. Gods, I am part of the rebellion. I believe in the cause.

The C?n Annwn are more monstrous than the creatures they hunt. The Council sits down in Lyari, gorging themselves on the resources they claim to deserve for the duty of keeping Threshold safe. They don’t care that the majority of their captains run their respective ships however they like, abusing their power wherever they go. Many of them aren’t overly worried if their victims are monsters or strangers or people born and raised in the realm they’re supposed to be protecting.

They need to be brought down. For everyone’s sake. Even without the rebellion, there’s fear and resentment simmering just below the surface. If we’re not careful, violence will erupt unplanned, and there’s every chance the C?n Annwn will take it as an opportunity to make an example of the first community to flare up. To ensure it never happens again.

With the rebellion, with the proper organization, there’s a chance to avoid that fate, to make a change in Threshold for the better. That’s the cause Nox is fighting for. It’s so much bigger than me and my personal loss.

I take a deep breath and exhale slowly through my nose. Nox is a dead end. That leaves very few options. I very much don’t want to have to travel with the vampire for?.?.?. gods know how long. Threshold is a big place, and even if you’re only counting the permanent islands, it could be months before we find what we’re looking for.

The thought makes my chest hurt.

Belowdecks, I’m nearly to my room when the door opens in front of me. I stop short, suddenly remembering what Lizzie said. She’s feeding. On Poet, apparently, because that’s who stumbles into the hallway.

I can’t help searching her neck for evidence of a bite. There’s nothing. But there is a heavy look in Poet’s eyes of someone well pleased. Her hair is mussed a little and her cheeks are flushed. She catches me looking at her and grins. “I don’t like the vampire much, but I do like her bite. Damn.”

What does her bite do to put that look on your face?

I chomp down on my tongue until copper floods my mouth. Under no circumstances will I ask that question. The less I know about this feeding process, the better. Or maybe Lizzie and Poet are fucking, and Lizzie lied about feeding. Either way, it’s none of my business.

If you’re sailing together for weeks, the vampire will have to feed?.?.?. on you.

I forcibly shut that thought down as I slide past Poet and keep walking, heading for the kitchens. I’m almost able to outrun the strange anticipation I feel?.?.?.

Almost.