Chapter 3

chapter 3

Lizzie

A selkie who’s lost their skin. What a cliché. I hang back and wait to see what Nox will say. Even taking this detour to save the selkie was a risk. We’re supposed to be hunting some?.?.?. I forget. It’s not mermaids again, and Evelyn has argued long and hard against “murdering” dragons, but there’s some monster of the deep that we’re supposed to be dispatching right now. It’s all wasting my time. Hunting monsters might get my blood going with the thrill of facing down an opponent who actually has a chance of taking me out, but I can’t fully enjoy myself with the damn sword of my family hanging over my neck.

At the beginning of all that, my mother paid a surprise visit, which led to a series of increasingly frustrating events. In order to ensure my lovely mother didn’t skin my paramour alive, I told Evelyn to run. Evelyn, being Evelyn, ran right through a portal—and took my family’s priceless jewels with her.

And then promptly lost them.

Or, rather, got herself kicked off the ship currently in possession of said jewels. It’s an unmitigated disaster, and it’s compounded by the fact that Nox refuses to chase down the Crimson Hag. If they won’t do that for me, when I’m actually valuable in a fight, they certainly aren’t going to change course for an asset they obviously want back on her home island, coaxing secrets from the C?n Annwn ships that pass through.

Sure enough, Nox is already shaking their head. “I’m so sorry, Maeve. I’m on a hunt right now, and we’ve already diverted too much time. If we take any more, someone’s going to start asking questions.” They hesitate. “And your position is too vital to remain vacant for long. It’s not your skin that made you valuable to the rebellion. It’s your human form.”

It’s harsh, but one doesn’t win rebellions with a bleeding heart. If they have a chance in hell of succeeding—and I’m not certain they do—then they can’t prioritize one person’s loss over the benefit to the collection. It’s something I understand intimately. My mother considers the Bianchi family to be a single unit rather than a gathering of multiple people with their own thoughts and feelings and ambitions. If you’re born into our bloodline family, then you are expected to obey first, second, and last.

Maeve doesn’t burst into tears like I expect. “Nox, you don’t understand.”

“I do. Better than I’d like to.” They actually sound remorseful, which makes this whole conversation more uncomfortable. “I’m sorry, Maeve.”

Maeve. A sweet name for a sweet little thing. Short and curvy in a way that makes you want to grab for her hips and pull her against you. Her curly red hair is a tangled mess, but it intrigues me all the same. And the damn freckles. I haven’t had a lover with freckles in a very long time.

Not that I’m thinking about taking this quivering creature to bed. I prefer my partners to have a little more spice, a little sharper teeth. I don’t know what selkies are like in Threshold, but in my realm, all the stories surrounding them are tragic and bittersweet. Victims in waiting—that’s all they are.

I force myself to turn away only to be faced with Evelyn and Bowen. He’s a big brawny brute with shoulder-length dark hair and a perpetual frown on his face. Except when he looks at Evelyn. He pulls her in for a quick kiss and then he’s off, doing whatever it is that he’s supposed to be doing to get us the fuck away from the burning ship.

Evelyn practically has stars in her eyes as she watches him go. It makes my stomach curdle. The feeling only gets worse when she turns to me, gentle understanding in her expression. I hate when she looks at me like that. There’s an intimacy there that I used to crave, but now it feels like sandpaper against my skin.

She’s not mine any longer. And while I’m not too proud to murder to get what I want, I know a losing battle when I see one. I lost Evelyn the moment I told her to run. Continuing to chase her will only make me look like a fool, and she’ll still end up in that asshole’s arms.

She scoops a bag off the floor that I hadn’t noticed previously. “I brought you some dry clothes. I thought you could use them.”

“I’ll change in my cabin. There was no reason for you to go to the effort.” I pluck the bag from her hands and move past her, ensuring my long stride carries me away from her as quickly as possible.

I head down the stairs, and there’s a small part of me that continues to be surprised at the fact that the inside of the ship is larger than the outside. I’ve experienced pocket realms before, but this one is so sophisticated it feels absolutely seamless. There’s no staggering moment where you’re not sure which way is up or down, not even a dip in the floor from the ship to the pocket realm. It’s more impressive than anything we have back home. Add in the fact that there’s running water and indoor plumbing—and apparently a hot water heater in some capacity—and there are worse places to live.

But none of that changes the fact that I shouldn’t be here.

We already know that time moves differently from realm to realm. It took me the better part of a year to find the portal that would bring me to Threshold. And yet, for Evelyn, it was a couple of weeks at most. I don’t expect the conversion to be static, either, so there’s no denying the fact that a significant amount of time is passing while I’ve been here, failing to retrieve the family jewels.

I can’t go home without them. Heir or not, my mother will rip out my throat for failing so spectacularly. We can’t have someone weak leading the family when she’s gone. If she’s ever gone. At this point, I have no doubt that she intends to live forever.

If I was anyone else, I wouldn’t go home at all. My mother isn’t known for her patience, and if she didn’t need me to create little vampire babies, she wouldn’t have deigned to give me a second chance after my failure to protect the family heirlooms. She simply would have killed me then and there, and moved on with her life.

I fight down a shudder. Best not to think too deeply about how she’s taking my absence. Successful or no, there will be a price to pay when I return home. I’ll endure it just like I’ve endured all my mother’s lessons and then come out stronger on the other side.

A quick shower does wonders for my morose mood. I dress in dry clothes and pull my hair back into my preferred high ponytail. I’m in the process of debating if I’m up to dealing with people when the door opens and the selkie steps inside. She stops short. “Oh. Sorry. I didn’t realize someone was already in here. This is the cabin that Nox sent me to.”

I’m going to rip out the captain’s spine and feed it to them. There are other cabins. When Evelyn, Bowen, and I helped Nox to stage a mutiny and dispatch the last captain of the Audacity, half of the crew went with him to the watery depths. We’ve been refilling those ranks slowly since, allowing other sailors to join up, but we’re nowhere near fully crewed. Nox could’ve sent this woman to one of those empty cabins. Instead, they sent her to me. Since they do nothing without purpose, it’s enough to make me wonder?.?.?.

“Nox won’t help you with the pelt problem?”

The selkie blinks those big dark eyes at me. “With all due respect, I don’t know you. You’re obviously a conscript, which means I can’t trust you. I don’t know why you’re asking something you already know the answer to, but I’m not interested in playing whatever game this is.”

I step aside as she darts past me into the bathroom. It was the tiniest show of backbone, but I can’t help the reluctant approval that flares inside me in response. Weakness is for prey, and I would have categorized this woman as such, but maybe there’s more to her than a damsel in distress.

Or perhaps I’m looking for an excuse to explain away my attraction to her. I like pretty things, but I learned a long time ago that I tend to break them. While some of those pretty things were meant to be broken, there are those that leave me with the taste of regret on my tongue. Over my long life, I learned to indulge only with partners who have their own claws and teeth and thorns.

They tend to survive longer.

Evelyn must have fucked up my head more than I realized if I’m considering taking someone to bed who looks like they’ll fold if I speak a harsh word. I shake my head and leave the cabin, once again searching out our wayward captain. Nox might play the frivolous fool, but there’s a canny mind behind those pretty eyes. I suspect they have a secondary reason for assigning Maeve to my room.

I walk through the door of Nox’s cabin without knocking, only to stop short at the sight of a naked Nox. They truly are well formed. I’ve never found tan lines intriguing before, but I can’t deny that it only adds to the allure of them. They raise their blond brows. “Unless you’ve decided to take me up on more than flirting, normally people knock when they come through my door.”

I kick the door shut behind me and cross my arms over my chest. “If I wanted to take you to bed, you’d know it.”

They laugh, completely unfazed. “The fact that you haven’t tried to rip out my throat means you aren’t totally opposed to it. But since you’re clearly determined to keep breaking my heart?.?.?. What do you really want?” They grab a shirt from their bed and drag it over their head.

“You’re really not going to help the selkie retrieve her pelt? After you went through so much to save her?”

“The selkie has a name.” Nox pulls on their pants, somehow making it smooth instead of awkward. “But, no, as much as I would like to, I can’t chase down the pirate who stole Maeve’s pelt. It was risky enough saving her, and I can’t afford for the C?n Annwn to look too closely at our actions. If we keep diverting from our normal sailing routes, someone on the Council is going to start asking questions.” Nox hesitates and there’s something almost like guilt on their face. “And I meant what I said earlier. I’m sorry for Maeve’s loss, but her ability to shift into a seal is the least of her value to the rebellion. The needs of many outweigh the needs of a single person.”

It’s just as I suspected. The same reason that Nox won’t actively help me. For the first time since coming to this godsforsaken realm, I feel something aside from pure frustration. “This selkie. She’s a local? Not someone who wandered through the wrong portal like the rest of us?”

Nox sits on the edge of the bed to pull on their boots. “Again, she has a name.”

I’m aware of that. I’m not entirely certain why I’m so resistant to saying that name, but it’s clear that Nox won’t continue this conversation unless I indulge them. I roll my eyes. “Fine, is Maeve a local?”

“You already know she is. Where are you going with this?”

I give them the look that the question deserves. “Exactly where you led me when you assigned her to my room. I don’t know why you’re bothering to act so surprised.”

They burst out laughing. “I’m beginning to think you don’t trust me.” It’s slightly startling to watch them transition from the defensive, protective captain to the flirty rake. Obviously I knew it was a mask all along, but witnessing them put it on real time feels like watching someone strip out of their lingerie.

“It’s a wonder how you find the time and energy to play games when you’re so concerned about this adorable little rebellion,” I finally say. “When are you actually going to get around to rebelling instead of playing the obedient hunter?”

The flinty look appears back in their gray eyes. “Watch yourself, Lizzie. I like you, so I let you get away with the disrespect, but there are limits.”

I merely raise my brow and allow the question to stand.

Nox pushes to their feet and rolls their shoulders. “You already know that I can’t help you. At least not in a timely manner. Maeve can. If you help her first. But do it quickly. I meant what I said about her value to the rebellion. She’s the only asset we have in Viedna, and we need her back home and doing her work.”

I stare. “You don’t give a shit about helping me. But your heart is practically bleeding for the poor selkie without her skin. What a cliché.”

“You’re a vampire with mommy issues. One could say the same thing about you.”

I almost strike them down right there. Only years of control keep my rage under wraps. Nox really does see too much. It’s inconvenient in the extreme. “If she’s such an asset in Viedna, that means she’s hardly well traveled. I don’t see how that serves me in the least. I might as well steal a map and go it alone. A suspicious woman would accuse you of trying to pass off two responsibilities instead of dealing with it yourself.”

“Don’t sell yourself short. You’re convenient to have on this crew, even if your attitude is sour enough to curdle milk. If I thought for a second that you’d stay, I’d try to convert you to the cause.” They stride to me, and I’m startled into taking a step back, allowing them past me to the door. Nox grins. “Though I’ll admit, even I get tired of watching you glare at Evelyn and Bowen. New lovers make everyone a little sick to their stomach, but it’s not as simple as that for you, is it?”

I narrow my eyes. “Be very careful what you say next.”

“Do you think you can rip all the blood from my body before I have a chance to burn you to ash?” There’s a feral look in Nox’s gray eyes. As if they’re not quite sure they’re bluffing, either.

There’s a significant part of me that wants to pick up the gauntlet they just threw at my feet and beat them to death with it. But even though they’re irritating in the same way that my little brother is, Nox shows every evidence of being a good captain. No doubt whoever took their place would be less effective at their job—and more annoying to deal with.

Besides, if I kill them, Evelyn will get that horrible disappointed look on her face again. As if I’m proving her right, as if I am validating her decision to think the worst of me. It shouldn’t be enough to hold my strike, but somehow it is.

I step back, allowing the captain more room to pass by. “We won’t find out today.”

“Pity.” They actually sound like they mean it, disappointment lacing their merry tone. “Another time, then.”

I follow them out of their cabin, their threat once again reminding me of my brother Wolf. Once upon a time I was the one who set him on fire, all at the altar of my mother’s approval. I don’t think he’s ever forgiven me for that. Not that I seek his forgiveness. That’s not the kind of family we are.

A flash of red catches my eye, and I turn to see the selkie speaking with Evelyn. Throwing my lot in with a stranger, even a stranger who is desperate to reclaim something stolen from them the same way I am, is a risk. The question is whether the risk is worth the reward.

That, I have to think about.