3. Chapter 3

I leaned against the bar on a Friday night next to Cueball, who nursed fucking water as I watched Stix bang on the drums with the band playing. While he was pretty good at it, I never understood what Stone saw in him. They couldn’t have been more different.

I glanced over at Stone, who was supposed to be carding people to get into the bar, but his eyes were glued on Stix. Stone was obsessed. I didn’t fucking get it, but to each his own, I suppose.

Cueball never dated anyone, never showed interest in anyone, never talked about anyone. He never drank, did drugs, or shared shit about himself. I guess I should’ve understood Stone’s obsessive nature since I’d been obsessed with Cueball for far too long. Not anymore, but it took a while to move on .

I chugged back the rest of my whiskey and ordered another from Pippin. I raised my glass to him since he wore earbuds all the time, and he couldn’t hear me. His red hair fell into his face, and he brushed it back with long fingers, looking terrified. His green eyes were always wide and a little panicky when I was around. I scoffed.

Pippin quickly poured me another, and I dropped my last ten on the counter to pay him. Fuck, I was quickly running out of cash. I wish Storm would hurry up and snag some pills for me to sell.

The alcohol was starting to get to me, and I enjoyed the burn and buzz as my body vibrated from the drums pounding loud enough to rattle my soul.

My eyes kept straying over to Ajax, standing above the crowd like some sentinel, with folded arms over his chest, scanning the people for losers who wanted to cause trouble. I itched to go over there and piss him off. He always reacted. While he was kind of scary-looking because he was so big, I wasn’t afraid of him. Maybe it was his innocent baby face.

Suddenly, he sensed my presence and turned to look at me. I smiled and wiggled my fingers at him before giving him the bird. His entire body tensed, and he gave me the middle finger back, making me laugh.

I pulled my attention back to the band, feeling Ajax’s eyes still on me. Talk about obsession. He was always focused on me with his hatred.

I downed the rest of my drink and turned to Cueball, sitting on a stool, not watching the band, but staring at the wooden counter. What the fuck was up with him? I didn’t bother to ask since he wouldn’t tell me, anyway.

“Spot me a twenty?” I asked him over the music.

He looked over with those amber eyes I always got lost in. “You need to get a fucking job,” he said, grabbing his wallet and handing me a twenty. “This is the last time. Get your shit together and find something permanent… and legal.”

“Who the fuck’s going to hire a former rich boy with no experience or ID?”

“You work to get experience. You’ve been on your own long enough to know that. Stop being fucking lazy. And maybe get the balls to go to your mom to get your ID back.”

I huffed and downed the rest of my drink. Fuck jobs. But if Storm didn’t come through soon, I wouldn’t have a choice. I was running out of food, and bills were coming up soon. Always fucking bills, bills, bills .

“You could always beg to go back home,” he added.

Yeah, I could if Mom would even answer the phone. Despite my bravado, I didn’t have the balls to go home and beg. Screw that noise. But even after all these years, I pined for my old life. I didn’t miss her at all. Mom had always been a cold bitch, but I missed him , my Dom.

By my fifth whiskey, I was feeling prime and a little wonky. That was my ideal state. Not too drunk. Not too sober.

“I’m gonna take a piss,” I said.

Cueball didn’t even look at me. What was his problem, anyway? He was being surlier than usual.

I pushed my way through the crowd, a little too wobbly since the bar wasn’t holding me up any longer, and made my way toward the back where the restrooms were located. I passed the employee lounge and pushed the door open to the men’s room.

After unzipping, I pissed in an available urinal, standing between two beefy dudes who dwarfed me. I quietly groaned with the release of pressure in my bladder. When I finished, I zipped up and washed my hands, staring into the mirror. My eyes were a little glazed over, and I fingered back my hair with ringed fingers.

There was a moment, just for a second, when loneliness threatened to consume me. I hated seeing my face in the mirror. I swallowed it back like I did everything else and drew from my well of indifference.

Everyone cleared out of the bathroom as I rested my hands on the sink and pulled my eyes away from the mirror, unable to look at myself any longer. I had to admit I was getting worried about money. Years of having everything handed to me had made it hard to manage my finances. I had no experience in anything, never being taught how to save or how to fucking survive.

I knew I had to find a job but fuck if I wanted to. It felt like lowering myself, unable to shed that ‘ rich boy ’ persona. But I had to let it go. I knew that. Even worse, I’d have to go over there and try to get my shit back from Mom.

“Fuck it.”

I left the bathroom and stopped when I saw the office door slightly cracked. Was there cash in there? Did Alpha have a safe? For the first time in my life, I had the urge to steal.

Even if I got a job, it wouldn’t pay me on time to cover my bills.

Just call Storm , my drunken brain told me as I pushed open the office door.

The space wasn’t large, but it had a desk, a computer, and an office chair. There were some black and white photos of the city of Baltimore hanging on the walls. On Alpha’s desk was a group photo of his ‘Rejects.’ He also had a bookcase with some books and paperwork stacked on the shelves. There was even more paperwork on the desk. It was organized chaos in there.

I scanned the room, feeling more buzzed and wonky, looking for anything of value, hoping Alpha was stupid enough to leave cash lying around, but I didn’t see any.

“Dammit,” I muttered.

When I turned around to leave, I crashed right into the wall.

No, not a wall.

Ajax.

He looked down at me with hard brown eyes and a frown. “You snooping around here, Kitten?”

“Just lookin’ for the bathroom. And stop fucking calling me that.”

He stood closer, towering over me, but I refused to cower.

“Fucking liar,” he hissed.

I straightened my body to stand taller, looked up at him, and poked his chest. “Who the fuck are you calling a liar?”

“You don’t belong here.”

I knew well enough that Ajax meant with his friends, in this bar, and in this office—I didn’t belong anywhere.

“That’s not up to you, is it?”

His eyes were a little erratic, and he was bouncy as he scowled. I sensed the danger too late when he fisted my shirt, pulling me up on my tippy toes so we were face to face.

“If it were up to me, you’d be fucking dead.”

My stomach lurched, and my mind tried to be afraid, but I’d had too much alcohol. “You wouldn’t kill me, Precious. You love to hate me too much.”

“I may not kill you, but I can definitely hurt you. And don’t fucking call me that.”

“What? Precious? Oh, but you can call me ‘ kitten ?’”

He fisted my shirt tighter because it was either that or lash out. You could see his desperate need to control himself behind those chocolatey eyes.

“I fucking hate you,” he said in a low growl. “One day, I’m going to destroy you. One day, everyone is going to turn their backs on you. No one likes you. Not even Cueball.”

My face burned and traveled throughout my entire body, feeling his words straight to my core, hitting all my fucking sensitive nerves.

I gripped his scruffy face under his chin and fisted his thick, dark brown hair with my other hand as we fought for dominance. I’d probably lose, but I wasn’t backing down.

“Cueball and I are best friends. Fuck the rest. Fuck you, too. I don’t care about your friends, you, or whether you all like me.”

His eyes narrowed, and he smiled crookedly. “I think you do care. You care a lot, Kitten . I think all that you do is an act.”

For the first time since meeting Ajax, there was a fluttering in my stomach, but I wasn’t sure if it was from him, hitting my nerves again, or something else. Only Cueball saw fucking through me. Since when did Ajax notice shit?

I stared deep into his eyes, pulling his hair tighter, but he didn’t seem bothered at all. His lashes were so thick, his skin so pale and creamy smooth, and he had the plumpest lips I’d ever seen. When he wasn’t scowling at me, his face was almost boyish.

No! There was nothing good about Jaxon Kean.

I didn’t care about anyone. I didn’t need anyone.

“Let me give you a piece of life story advice, Precious . Everyone turns their backs on you. Everyone,” I said.

Ajax leaned his head closer to me, so close that I could feel his breath on my face. “No, Blaze. Just you. No one likes you,” he whispered.

We still hadn’t let go of each other, and my body was completely aware of him. Too aware.

Instead of giving in to self-preservation, I pushed his fucking buttons. He could shove his words up his fucking ass. My lips suddenly landed on his, intending to shock him into silence .

His eyes went wide, but instead of reacting angrily, he pulled me tighter. My head tilted as I deepened the kiss for some ungodly reason I couldn’t figure out, probably because I was drunk.

He was supposed to shove me off. Spit at my feet. Punch me in the face. Instead, his eyes fluttered closed, parted his lips, and shoved his tongue into my mouth.

My fucking betraying dick quickly got on board as Ajax groaned in my mouth, and he lifted me up. My legs wrapped around his hips, and he gasped a breath, but he quickly recovered, his hands gripping the back of my shirt, fingers digging into my muscles.

My fingers tangled even tighter in his hair when one of his hands tugged on my own hair. We clanged teeth, nipped lips, and fought with our tongues, tasting blood from one of us. We breathed hot air into each other’s mouths as if trying to sustain our lives.

When Ajax yanked my head back to nibble on my neck, and his other hand rested on my ass before his lips were back on me. As he caught a breath, he whispered my name. My drunken mind told me to stop. This was all wrong. He was supposed to hurt me and hate me more, not fucking kiss me back. And I wasn’t supposed to be fucking into it.

I suddenly gripped his throat tighter and shoved him off. Being drunk, I was surprised I landed on my feet instead of my ass when he dropped me.

“I knew you wanted me,” I said, desperate to get away from him, but still needing to poke the bear and maintain the upper hand.

He growled and shoved me away. “I don’t fucking want you. You… caught me off guard.”

I smirked and straightened my shirt, trying to ignore the swelling in my jeans. “Sure you don’t. That kiss says otherwise, asshole.”

When I tried to walk by him and leave, Ajax grabbed the back of my head by my hair and yanked me. My hand instantly went to his wrist, trying to pry him off as he turned me around and shoved me down onto my knees, which buckled under the strong pressure and on well-trained instinct from another life.

My heart skipped several beats as memories flashed through my hazy mind, making my dick even harder.

No !

But rationality fled me. I panted, unable to find words as I looked up at him, suddenly begging him with my mind to own me.

If he hadn’t been angry before, he was then. “You kissed me ,” he hissed.

I wanted to be pleased with myself, but I swallowed back the regret and the sudden need for him because I couldn’t want him. I didn’t want him. My brain kept telling me I was a liar, and that had been one of the best kisses I’d ever had because it’d been given to me so freely, even through Ajax’s hatred of me, or despite it.

Even worse, I didn’t fight him as I stared up at his pissed-off face.

“I want to fucking hurt you. I want…” Ajax hissed and suddenly shoved me onto my ass as he let go of my hair. “Get the fuck out.”

I scrambled to my feet, a confused fucking mess as I rushed back into the bar.

Not wanting to face Ajax again tonight, I left the place—and Cueball—behind and quickly texted Storm.

Me: Please tell me you have something soon.

Storm: Come by in two days.

Relief filled me that there would be more money soon, and for another month, I wouldn’t have to worry about cash.