19. Chapter 19

“Can you put me down now?” I huffed at him. It was one thing being thrown around like a rag doll during sex. It was quite another having Ajax wear me across his shoulder.

“Fine, but I’m only doing it because I’m fucking winded, lard ass.”

He set me down on my feet, and I punched him in his chest. “Lard ass? I probably weigh half of what you do.”

He winked and continued up the stairs, two at a time. I didn’t have the leg length for that.

As soon as we got inside his apartment and shut the door, Ajax slammed me against it with his body pressed hard to mine, consuming me in a heated kiss full of tongue, nips, and sucks. He put his whole fucking body into it.

This was one of those rare kisses I got without earning it. It was a kiss that told me I was wanted.

“Have… I… been good… enough for… this?” I asked between kisses.

“I already told you, I’m… going to make… love to you.” He bit my lip hard enough to sting and licked away the pain.

“You mean… we’re just going to fuck… like other couples do?”

He pulled away, leaving me gasping, and walked toward his bed, yanking off his T-shirt and tossing it to the floor. “Yep. I want to see your face as you come for a fucking change. You’re always turned away from me.”

Ajax craned his head to look back at me. “Get naked.”

He kicked off his shoes and dropped his pants, leaving a trail of clothes behind him. “Sex first, then we eat, then we fuck again.”

“Jesus… needy much?” I sounded like I was complaining, but it was nice to be wanted like that—to have someone literally hungry for me.

I unbuttoned my shirt and dropped it on the floor with his clothes. Then, I removed my T-shirt, pulling it over my head. Next came my shoes, socks, jeans, and underwear.

“I haven’t showered or cleaned. I don’t feel…”

Why was I discouraging him?

It was the making love part. No one had ever made love to me before, not even my stepfather .

Ajax turned to face me, grabbed my hand, and tugged me onto the bed. I fell back, and he jumped on me. “So? Neither have I.”

“Yeah, but I’m not fucking you.”

He gave me a quick kiss. “You can if you want.”

“What?”

“If you want to fuck me, you can.”

I raised a brow and pressed my hand to his chest so he wouldn’t silence me in another kiss. “ Have you ever been fucked, Precious?”

His face turned feral and hungry. “I hated it when you called me that last time. Now, I want you to say it a hundred times.”

I rolled my eyes. “You’re changing the subject.”

“Hmm, I have once. ”

“Well, I’ve never fucked anyone before, so... let’s stick with our current setup.”

“Fine… Anyway! The point is, it doesn’t matter if we’ve showered.” He lifted my arm, pressed his nose into my armpit, and took a deep breath.

“Hey! Gross! Weirdo…”

“You smell fucking good, is what you smell like.”

I wasn’t used to this. It was weird. If I ever had sex, they fucked me from behind. And with Ajax, it had always been about him dominating me. This was different, and I wasn’t sure what to do or what to make of it.

“What’s gotten into you?” I sighed, making him frown.

“Don’t you want to have sex?”

I deflated and sighed as I pressed my hand to his cheek. “I’m sorry. It’s… not a dynamic I’m used to. No one has ever wanted to just…”

“Make love to you?”

I nodded.

“Tell you what. Let’s try it. If you don’t like it, then I’ll smack you around a bit and tell you what a bad boy you’ve been.”

I snorted a laugh. “Deal.”

“Yes!”

“You’re crazy.”

“Crazy for you.”

My smile dropped, and I swallowed the lump and growing emotions in my throat deep inside. I so wanted that to be true.

“Now, where were we? Ah, yes… lovemaking.”

Ajax pressed kisses on my nose, kissed the septum ring, moved on to kissing each cheek, my chin, jaw, throat… Fuck, I felt loved.

“Oh, by the way, it’s not like I make a lot of love myself. I can’t even remember the last time, so it must not have been that memorable,” he said, popping my love bubble.

He sure was more talkative than usual, too.

Ajax worked his way down my body, kissing as he went, and landed on one of my nipples. “You need to pierce these, too. ”

His eyes landed on mine as he swirled the tip of his tongue around the hardening little bud before moving on to the other one, adding some sucks and bites. I hissed from the pain, and he licked it away.

“I want to mark you, too, with little hickeys here and there. To show the world you’re taken, hands off, and all mine.”

Fuck, I ached to believe him.

He rose, moving close to my throat, and nibbled there before sucking hard on the skin. I closed my eyes and dragged my fingers across his broad back, letting him mark and claim me. I would love nothing more than to show others no one else could have me but Ajax, not that people were lining up around the corner to be with me.

He pulled away with a pop and inspected his handiwork before going back at it again.

He touched the bruised skin. “There. Perfect.”

Ajax must have left me at least six hickeys on my throat, shoulders, and chest before he was finally blowing me. If this was what it was like to make love, I wanted more. How stupid to be afraid.

Just when I felt the burn, tug, and pressure of my impending orgasm, Ajax popped off.

“Do you think it’s possible to hate someone and then fall in love, anyway?”

My eyes went wide, and I held my breath, not daring to speak. Did he mean what I thought he did? Was he just rambling about a thought he had? Was the question rhetorical, or did he really want to know?

“Uhm…”

“I think it’s possible.” Ajax worked kisses down my stomach and hips, leaving little bites and more hickeys. “I think there’s a fine line between hate and love, don’t you?”

“Ah…”

He reached my feet and sucked on my big toe before slipping it out of his mouth. “Like hate is a really strong emotion, right? So is love. But are they really opposites? They’re both passionate.”

“I don’t know, Precious,” I finally said. There were no answers, and I wasn’t ready to broach the subject of love yet. God, I wanted it, but it was also terrifying. Everyone I’d ever loved turned their backs on me—all of them. If I ever told him I loved him, would he leave me, too?

“Mmm, yeah, definitely never stop calling me that.”

Ajax sat up and ran his fingers across my body. I was achingly hard, but I was used to holding out for long periods. He was so hard, too, his cock resting against my thigh, getting it wet with sticky pre-cum.

“God, you look so cute with hickeys—beautiful even. Next time, when some hot dude sees you, he’ll know to stay away. I’ve marked my fucking territory.”

Ajax just kept blowing my fucking mind, leaving me speechless.

“Do you know I must’ve watched our little video a hundred times? It’s so fucking hot. I want more of them,” he growled in my throat and then nibbled my ear lobe.

“Okay.”

Ajax suddenly pulled away, jostling the bed when he reached for the lube, sitting on his nightstand. He poured some into his hands and stroked himself with it before shoving one of my legs back and getting my hole wet, and then he wetted my dick.

“I’ll never get tired of this ass… this hole. It’s absolute perfection.”

“Uh… Thanks?”

He snorted a laugh and lunged at me, pinning my hands back to the bed with his oily hands. “You’re so cute.”

Who was this Ajax? This was someone I wasn’t familiar with. He had the same dark brown hair, and chocolatey eyes, but Ajax generally wasn’t silly or… cutesy. He was usually more growly and demanding.

His smile dropped as he got down to business, pushing back a leg and pressing the tip of his dick to my hole.

We’d had so much sex lately, so I didn’t need much stretching. I just bore down and accepted him without too much burning.

Ajax set my leg back on the bed and put his hands on either side of my head to hold himself up as he slowly pumped into me, his eyes never leaving my face.

“I want to see you get wrecked.”

“You’ve seen me wrecked. ”

He shook his head. “Not while I’m fucking you. I want to see those soulful black eyes roll into your head as I peg your sweet spot.” Then he put his hand on my throat, but gently. “I want to hear you calling out my name when you come fucking hard.”

Ajax rested his face on my throat and pumped and pumped, sliding in and out of me with so much ease that even I believed we fit together perfectly, like puzzle pieces.

“Hold me, Aiden.”

I wrapped my arms around his back, and my legs around his hips, pulling him deeper inside me.

“Fuck, this is nice… right?”

I nodded and swallowed hard. How did he do that? He was always pulling out these hidden emotions from me. It was freeing, yet I hated it because it scared me. It was so much easier to keep things buried where they belonged.

“Yes…” I breathed, unsure if I was lying.

Hands slid through my hair and gripped my head as he sat up to look at me. His brown eyes filled with something… I didn’t know what.

I closed my eyes when he hit that spot, digging my fingers into his back. Our breathing picked up, filling the room with the sound of groans and panting. His arousing scent was mingled with his usual spice and sweat from earlier today.

It was weird to have sex where it didn’t hurt, or I hadn’t been punished first. This was also the first time that I didn’t have to be controlled and owned. It was almost like I’d earned this… almost. But I hadn’t earned it.

“Fuck, you feel so good, baby.”

Baby.

No kitten?

He suddenly sat up and moved faster, rolling his hips and biting his bottom lip. Then he grabbed my still-lubed cock and stroked it fast while watching me.

“Don’t close your eyes. I want to see you come,” he ordered.

“I’ll do my best, but the orgasms you give me make it hard.”

His grin was feral. “That’s what I like to hear.”

Ajax moved faster and faster, his skin glistening like glitter in the dim light of the room from the sheen of sweat. His hair was getting damp, and his long bangs fell in his face .

My body was wrapped up tightly as I squeezed his muscular thighs with my fingers. I arched back for more as the pressure grew and grew, pulling the orgasm from the inside out. His hitting my prostate and stroking me… it was the best of both worlds at the same time.

My head lolled back, and my eyes closed as I groaned.

“Eyes on me!” he snapped.

I popped them open and watched him, looking like a fucking god, as he rocked into me, destroying me with each thrust.

Ajax suddenly leaned forward, not stopping his pumping or stroking my cock, when he shoved his tongue into my mouth. I sucked on it, pulling a moan from him.

“Hurry and come. I’m dying here,” he said when he pulled back.

I focused solely on all the spots he was hitting me. My body burned for him and the need to come. My breath gasped, and my lungs froze when the first spurt hit my stomach. I exhaled and thrust into his hand as he slammed into me.

“Gorgeous… shit, baby.”

When I had nothing left, Ajax dropped my dick and licked my cum off his hand. “Delicious.”

“Fuck me…” I groaned.

Hot cum suddenly spilled inside of me, filling me, more marking me as his. He claimed me on the inside, and all over my skin.

“Ugh… god…” he rasped.

Ajax fell on me, his heart hammering, my heart hammering. We gasped and tried to find the strength to even move.

“That was fucking nice,” he said, his face pressed into my throat.

“It was.”

In a flurry, Ajax sat up and shoved my legs back. “I almost forgot that watching my cum spill out of your ass is almost as good as watching your eyes roll up into your head as you get wrecked.”

His finger swiped some up, and he sucked on it before falling back into the bed and spooning me in a vise-like grip.

“Let’s make love once in a while, too,” he mumbled tiredly.

“Okay.”

“Is it? Are you? ”

“What?”

“Is it okay?”

I rolled over and combed the sweaty bangs from his face. “Yeah, it is. It was nice to just focus on us.”

He suddenly yawned loudly. “Good.”

His arm wrapped around me, and he nestled his face against my throat again, and soon his body went heavy and limp.

My stomach growled since we hadn’t eaten, but I was too tired to care.

I rolled over in bed and reached for Ajax, but all I felt was cold, empty space. How long had I been sleeping? My eyes cracked open, and I glanced at the old digital clock sitting on the nightstand, which read seven minutes until three in the morning.

Where’d he go?

I sat up, and my nose was suddenly awakened by the scent of cooking meat. Across the space, Ajax stood shirtless at the stove, cooking something sizzling on a pan.

“Ouch! Fucking grease,” he hissed, rubbing his stomach.

I yawned and rubbed my eyes. “What are you doing?”

He turned and smiled. “Hey, baby! I forgot to make you dinner, so I’m doing it now. Sorry.”

“Jaxon, it’s three in the morning.”

He frowned. “Is it? Well, we need to eat. Aren’t you hungry?”

“A little, but…”

“I’ve already cooked it. Oh, do you like hamburgers? Everyone likes hamburgers, right? Unless you’re a vegetarian. But I’ve seen you eat meat. No vegetarians here!” he chuckled.

Ajax moved around the kitchen like he couldn’t keep still, hopping around and grabbing utensils and plates.

“I make really good smashed burgers. Shit, I forgot the tomatoes.” He grabbed a fresh tomato and started slicing it thinly .

I just sat there, wondering what the hell was going on. Was Ajax always like this in the middle of the night? I’d only slept over twice, and while he tossed and turned, he never got out of bed. Was this why he always looked so tired?

I climbed out of the bed, walked over to him, and grabbed his arms to stop his rapid movements. “Let the meat cool, save it for tomorrow, and let’s go back to bed. You need your sleep. Tell you what? We’ll eat the hamburgers for breakfast.”

He looked uncertain for a moment, nibbling on his bottom lip. “But… I’m not tired. And I’m really hungry.”

I yawned again and sighed. Fuck it. We could just sleep in, and he always looked like he could use more food.

“Okay. Let’s eat.”

“Yes! You’re going to love these.”

He decorated my burger with lettuce, tomatoes, onions, ketchup, mustard, pickles, and cheese on a bun.

Ajax bounced on his heels, watching me, waiting.

I grabbed the burger and took a big bite. It was really good. “It’s amazing.”

“Awesome!”

He sat next to me, prattling on about a story of when he was around ten, hiking in the woods with his friends, and found an abandoned tree house. They spent months fixing it up. Then it was about this boy he used to like in the tenth grade. I learned more about Ajax in the past hour than I ever did in the seven months I’d known him.

It was four-thirty before I got to go back to bed. Ajax sat up and scrolled through his phone as I lay next to him. I couldn’t make him sleep, so I closed my eyes and dozed off.