18. Chapter 18

Cueball, Stone, and I met up in the morning on Sunday to have some cheap breakfast at a bagel shop and then hit the skatepark since the day was going to be pretty warm and sunny. We hadn’t hung out together in a while since Stone moved in with Stix.

I felt as light and airy as the day. All that crushing weight on me had lifted since telling Ajax my story that day, and he hadn’t run for the fucking hills. I didn’t understand it, but I accepted it. For the first time in my sorry excuse for a life, I wanted to do better and be a better person.

Stone looked lighter and happier, too. He smiled more, although it was still rare, but it was those hazel eyes of his that shone in their happiness. They glowed. Stix made him that way.

I’d only hated Stix because Stone did. I hadn’t known that he’d been crushing on Stix and was pissed about it. I kind of understood it, I guess. Stix eventually forgave me after I’d apologized for hurting him, and he’d grown on me since then.

Not since my stepfather had I wanted what Stone found. I wasn’t ready for love and shit, but I missed that connection, even if those feelings hadn’t been real on my Dom’s end.

As we sat down at a little table, eating our breakfast and drinking coffee, I took a large bite of the everything bagel, smothered with onion-and-chive cream cheese.

Stone jutted his chin at me. “What’s up with you?”

“What do you mean?”

“You look… less stiff and pissy.”

Cueball’s amber eyes brightened as he took a bite of his lox and cream cheese bagel, but he said nothing.

“So? I’m allowed to have good days.”

Stone shook his head, scoffed, and rolled his eyes. “Whatever. Don’t fucking tell me then.”

I forgot he could be as surly as me sometimes.

Maybe this was a good time to make those changes in myself, to open up more and let people in. Cueball and Stone were my friends. They hadn’t turned their backs on me, either, though I’d given them no reason to stick around.

“Fine, I’m… doing good. Things are starting to pick up, and I’ve been seeing someone.”

“Ajax?” Stone asked.

I choked on a bite of bagel, and Cueball patted my back as I drank down some coffee.

“What?” I squeaked when I came up for air.

Ajax and I didn’t talk about being exclusive, per se, and we never talked about what we would tell our friends or if we even would. Despite him telling me I was his, and he was mine, we still never said a word about it.

Stone shrugged, ignoring my sudden panic. “Just like Nacho and Pippin, you and Ajax are a couple of dumbasses who don’t realize the rest of us see you all as clear as day. ”

“Yep,” Cueball added unhelpfully.

“How’d…”

Nacho and Pippin were obviously best friends, googly-eyeing each other every five minutes, while Nacho was obsessed with protecting Pippin. Yeah, they were clear as day, but Ajax and me? No way.

“You two have been at each other’s throats since that day you tossed a beer at Stix. That was like seven months ago, dude. Suddenly, you two aren’t fighting anymore, and Ajax isn’t all up in your face like usual. Not to mention, you freaked out a while back when Cueball accused you of being interested in Ajax. We just put two and two together. I mean, it wasn’t hard.”

Well, shit.

I set my bagel down on my plate and wiped my hands on the cheap, thin napkin.

“Fine,” I sighed. “You’re right. We’ve definitely had a thing going on for about two months now. It started out as a… spontaneous thing, but it’s grown since then. I… like him. And he likes me… I think, for some strange reason. We haven’t talked about telling anyone yet, which is why we’ve been silent about it.”

“Does he know?” Cueball asked. I knew exactly what he was talking about.

“He knows.”

“All of it?”

I nodded. “He knows all of it.”

“Good. I’m proud of you.”

My face burned at the compliment. It was rare coming from Cueball. Hell, it was rare for me to receive one, period. Fuck, it was weird being all smiles and shy and shit. I almost wanted to revert to my dickhead ways, barely recognizing myself, but I couldn’t. I needed to suck it up and move forward, not backward.

“Knows what?” Stone asked.

“It’s… deeply personal. Not even Cueball here knows it all. Just… I don’t think I have the energy to talk about it again. At least, not right now.”

Stone frowned, but nodded. “That’s cool. We all have our secrets. Just know that I’m here for you. We all care about you for some god knows reason.”

“Yep,” Cueball agreed, still being unhelpful.

“Thanks. Now, ah, I need to find a real job… an honest one. ”

Cueball clapped my shoulder, but he said nothing, being his usual stoic self.

“Stop by and ask Alpha,” Stone said. “I don’t know if he’s hiring, but even if working part time, you can at least get some work experience. If not, I’m sure he can direct you to someone who can hire you.”

“I will. Thanks.”

The outdoor skatepark was busy as hell after the long winter and cold early spring. There were kids, older adults, people having picnics in the grass, and birthday parties under the pavilions. It was chaos. While I didn’t enjoy skating, mostly because I didn’t know how, it was fun to watch people doing their tricks or trying to.

But my eyes were firmly planted on Ajax as he skated on the ramp, doing flips and shit, taking it so high in the air, my stomach leaped, afraid he’d fall and crack his head open.

Wow, I’d never worried about anyone before.

I’d tried not to pay much attention to Ajax skating over the months, but I’d always noticed how good he was. He was fluid and smooth, despite his size, at least to me. His arm muscles were strong and defined, and I wished I could see his legs through his khaki cargo pants, though I already knew how nice they looked.

Someone clapped me on the shoulder. I turned my head to find Jazz, and I rolled my eyes at her. That girl was trouble and a pain in the ass. Her bleached hair was chopped into a messy bob, shaved on one side, and had strips of bubblegum pink colored through it. She was cute, in a pink punk way, wearing denim overalls with one strap unclasped.

“Aww, grumpy Blaze is in love.”

I scowled at her. “Fuck off, Jazz. I’m not in love.”

She shrugged. “If you say so.”

“I’m just watching the skaters.” Of course, the more I denied it, the more she could see through me .

“You two are like totally cute together, a couple of grumps with size difference issues, who bitched their way straight into a relationship.” She snorted a laugh. “Seriously, you can’t make this shit up.”

“Well, apparently, you can, since you just did.”

Jazz rolled her eyes. “Whatever, Mr. Denier. All my boys are finding love. It’s so sweet. Now, we just need to find someone for my bro. He’s been lonely lately. Though I probably don’t help, since I’m picky about who he dates.”

That was the most Jazz had ever talked to me. I guess not fighting with Ajax helped with that. “What about you?”

She looked at me with large blue eyes. “I already have a girlfriend.”

“Why don’t you bring her by?”

“She’s different. She’s not extroverted like me.”

“I’m… glad you have someone.”

She raised a brow, no doubt surprised by my ‘niceness.’ Hell, I was, too.

“Thanks,” she said dubiously and took off on her board.

Several minutes later, Ajax hopped off his board and walked straight toward me. He looked pretty sexy in his white T-shirt, which was wet from sweat, clinging to his damp skin.

“Man, it’s nice not to freeze my nuts off,” he said.

I said nothing, unable to take my eyes off him. How different he looked to me now that he knew my story and was still willing to acknowledge my presence.

“I told Cueball and Stone about us,” I blurted.

Ajax smirked, stood toe-to-toe with me, and bent forward so close I felt the heat from his skin. “Did you now?”

“Is that okay?”

He wrapped his arm around me and placed his hand on the small of my back, pulling me against him. My fingers dug into his biceps. “It’s more than okay.”

Ajax pressed his nose to my neck and inhaled me. “I’m going to kiss you now.”

My eyes slid closed, and I nodded as he put his lips to mine. His upper lip was sweaty and tasted of salt, but I didn’t give a fuck. Ajax was claiming me in front of everyone. Me, a loser and destroyer of marriages, and who would’ve done it again had I not met Ajax. I was such a fuckup, and he liked me, anyway .

As soon as his tongue thrust into my mouth, there was a loud cheer behind me, but I tuned them out, completely at Ajax’s mercy. I was always at his mercy, and it was exactly where I wanted to be. His acceptance of me helped push away the last bit of fear inside me, and for the first time in years, I was filled with hope.

I would do anything to keep this. To keep him.

Anything.

Ajax wrapped a leg over his bike and shoved on a black-and-green helmet that matched his bike before handing me one in all black, which I put on.

“Hang on tight because I drive fast,” he said.

“Yeah, I know. I’ve ridden with you before, remember?”

“Sure, but I’m feeling especially speedy today.”

“I miss my bike. I like speeding, too.”

“Well, buckle up. This will be fun.”

He turned on the bike, and it roared to life, vibrating under my ass. As soon as I had my arms wrapped around him, he took off like a bolt.

Traffic wasn’t heavy for a Sunday, so we whipped around cars, angled sharply around turns, and blazed at high speeds whenever there was a clearing in the road.

My heart beat so fast, remembering all the times I used to drive my car or ride my bike—the excitement of it. My helmeted head pressed to his back as I watched the world go by in a blur.

The ride ended much too soon when we pulled into an alley by his apartment building. He turned off the bike, and we climbed off.

Ajax ripped the helmet off, looking sexy as fuck with his messy hair sticking up everywhere. He looked down at me with a gleam in his sweet, chocolatey eyes.

“What?” I asked.

He suddenly grabbed me and tossed me over his shoulder as if I was a rag doll.

Again?!

“Ajax! Put me fucking down! ”

“Nope.”

“Fucking goddammit! I’m not some girl.”

“You’re mine, is what you are. Now behave. We’re going up to my place, and I’m going to make love to you. Afterward, I’ll make you some dinner.”

He walked inside the building, refusing to set me down. “Put me down now.”

“Nope. Now, I’m not the best cook in the world, but I can make a few things.”

“I don’t fucking care. I would like to walk.”

“Don’t make me spank you right here on the staircase.”

My face burned, and I went limp, letting him have his fucking way.

“Asshole,” I muttered.

His laugh rang out into an echo in the hall.

“You like this asshole.”

True, but I wasn’t about to tell him that.

“God, I feel fucking good right now. I have for a few months, but today… It’s like I’ve been high on adrenaline. Feels so fucking good. Hell, I could fuck you all night.”

“God, should I expect a sore ass for the next two weeks?”

Ajax barked out a laugh. “Yeah! That sounds epic. I’ll love watching you squirm as you sit, your ass remembering I beat the shit out of it, inside and out.”

I shuddered in arousal and maybe a little trepidation.