Chapter 9

9

RHODES

“ I only ever saw you,” I admitted.

I knew it made me the world’s biggest douche, admitting that while I may have fucked dozens of girls, women, in the last few years, I did it picturing her face every single time.

Every. Single. Time.

It got to the point when I could only finish if I closed my eyes and saw her face.

I had never told anyone that, not even Remy, who knew more shit about me than I sometimes knew about myself.

It wasn’t fair to the girls I had been with, but they never knew. At least, I hoped they didn’t.

Larkin’s soft hands came up, framing my face as her eyes desperately searched mine. “Why didn’t you ever tell me?”

Now it was my turn to swallow hard. The lump in my throat seemed impossibly massive as I tried to form words around it.

“Because I knew you deserved better than me.”

I exhaled slowly, that final admission both a weight off my shoulders and an anchor around my neck.

She reared back, eyes wide. “What?”

“You deserve better than me, Larkin,” I repeated. “Baby girl, look at us. You’re so fucking smart, Lark. You’re going to college, you have amazing parents. You’re going to have an incredible life. And look at me.” I shook my head. “My mom left. My dad is a drunk who couldn’t handle that.”

“I am looking at you,” she replied softly, fiercely. Her eyes practically glowed. “You’re the guy who I can always count on. My best friend. The guy who told me I could absolutely handle extra classes to graduate. The same guy who helped me splint a bunny’s broken foot in the backyard when I was twelve.”

I couldn’t help but chuckle at that. I remembered all too well a twelve year old Larkin sobbing in her backyard about a bunny who would never find his family again because he had a broken foot. I had been thirteen, and about to go out to the quarry with Remy and a bunch of other guys, but instead I stayed back and helped her bandage up the terrified animal and take it into town to the vet.

I never had the heart to tell her we probably scared the rabbit half to death since all it could smell on us was our wolf scent.

She traced my brows. “If my life is going to be incredible, it’s because you’re in it, too. Why can’t you see how amazing you are?”

I suddenly regretted having her sit on my lap, because there was no escaping her gaze. The way she saw me.

“It’s not just that,” I continued. “Lark, my dad lost it when my mom left. He lost it. And I used to think he was the biggest pussy in the world for that. I hated him so much, for so long because I didn’t get why he couldn’t pull it together.”

Sighing, I dropped my head back against the couch. “But the idea of you ever walking away or leaving … I get it. I don’t think I could take losing you. And I feel like I’ll always want to hold some part of me back to protect myself. Baby, you deserve a guy who will give you everything. Not almost everything.”

“Okay, first of all,” she started, adjusting on my lap so she was above me, and I had to look up at her fierce beauty, “I am not your mother. I don’t know what the hell her problem was, but I would never walk away from you. And you are not your father. You would never do what he did, Rhodes.”

Her words soothed the jagged edges of a wound I had left gaping and festering for years, but it was still there. The scars still ran deep.

I knew logically that Larkin wasn’t my mother. Even if she woke up one day and realized I wasn’t good enough for her, no way would she leave her kid behind.

Shit.

My heart seized in my chest at the thought of her kid.

Our kid.

The thought made me lightheaded, but God, I wanted that.

“Why now?” she asked softly, biting her lower lip and worrying it between her teeth. “What changed?”

Everything .

I cleared my throat. “Seeing you at Christmas with … those guys, kissing them. Fuck, I don’t know, Larkin. It made me so angry and so sad. I’ve tried everything I could think of to stay away from you this year, but you’re always there .”

“Sorry about that?” she said, narrowing her eyes.

I huffed, smoothing her hair back from her face, holding her still to look me in the eye. “All I’ve ever wanted it is to be with you.”

Her eyes went soft.

“But I knew you deserved someone who could give you everything, and I didn’t think I was that guy,” I added. “But I want to try to be. For you. For us.”

She leaned forward and kissed me, her lips gentle against mine.

“I’ll probably mess this up at some point,” I warned her when she pulled back.

She shrugged. “Me, too. It’s not like I have a lot of practice with dating or … other stuff.” Her blush was adorable.

“We don’t have to do other stuff ,” I reminded her, even if my body was seriously not on board with that option.

Larkin was worth whatever wait.

Her eyes narrowed. “I thought I said I didn’t want to wait.”

My laugh was sudden and loud. This girl was seriously going to kill me.

“Okay,” I replied, smiling.

“We just need to talk ,” she added. “If you start feeling like you’re messing up or having doubts, tell me and I’ll remind you how awesome you are. But don’t shut me out again, Rhodes. I hate when you do that.”

Swallowing, I nodded, pulling her down for a hug. “Deal.”

She cuddled against my chest, and I could have stayed like that the rest of the day, but she sat up after a few minutes, her eyes serious.

“Are we … telling people about this? About us?”

My stomach dipped. “We don’t have to if you don’t want to.”

Her mouth dropped open in shock. “That’s not what I meant at all. I know you don’t usually do girlfriends—”

“I don’t have girlfriends,” I told her firmly, cutting her off.

Her mouth snapped shut.

I raised a hand, cradling her jaw, feeling her pulse thrumming like a hummingbird taking flight. “But you’re not just a girlfriend, Larkin.”

“What am I?” she asked softly.

My lips curved into a smile. “Mine.” I sat up, pulling her down until my lips were almost on hers. “And you can bet your sweet ass I’m telling the entire fucking world you belong to me.”

I devoured her mouth hungrily, demanding entrance, my tongue sweeping into her mouth with raw possessiveness.

My wolf rumbled in approval.

She was ours.

Larkin gasped into my mouth, her small fists grabbing onto my shoulders as I rolled her until her back was pressed into the cushions of the couch and I was on top.

I kissed her slowly, taking my time to explore every part of her mouth. What made her gasp, what made her moan, what made her hips rock into me. I ignored when she wrapped a leg around the small of my back, trying to press me against her center.

I smirked against her lips at her frustrated groan.

“Rhodes, please ,” she whimpered, her begging doing all sorts of things to my body.

“Please what?” I asked, catching her bottom lip between my teeth and tugging. I smoothed a hand down her side, barely touching the swell of her breast even as she arched up to find my fingers.

“Stop teasing,” she muttered, hands tangling in my hair to pull me down.

“Then tell me what you want,” I murmured, wanting to hear the words from her mouth. Wanting to hear the desperate need in her tone.

“You,” she gasped, as I finally rolled my hips to hers.

“You have me,” I replied, lifting off of her once again. Her hips chased after mine, but I stayed them with a firm hand to her abdomen. “I’m right here, baby.”

She growled. “ Touch me.”

I smiled against her neck, nipping her collar bone. “I am touching you.”

“You know what I mean!” she snapped, hands fisting against my scalp.

I pulled back, looking down at her. “No, I don’t.”

Lie. But I needed to hear her say. I wanted to hear her breathless and begging.

“Tell me where you want me to touch you.”

Her cheeks flushed, but her eyes glittered with desire and frustration.

I arched a brow, waiting for her.

Larkin didn’t break eye contact as she reached for my hand, moving it until I was pressed against her center. Jesus, the amount of heat coming off of her was a palpable thing. I could scent her arousal, and I knew she would be wet when I touched her.

“ Here ,” she said, her voice breaking when I pressed my fingers firmly against her leggings.

Yup, totally soaked.

Before I could overthink it, I slid off her body, dropping to my knees on the floor beside her. I pulled her hips down to the coach, hooking my fingers in the sides of her leggings. I looked up at her, checking to see if she was with me.

Larkin bit her lower lip, the sight of her teeth catching the flesh I had worked over and made plump and red making my dick even harder against my jeans.

Fuck, I needed to get control of myself.

“I’ve never …” She coughed a little, the embarrassed flush returning.

“Me neither,” I admitted softly, my eyes lifting to hers.

Her eyes went huge. “Wait—you’ve never—”

I shook my head.

Had done a lot of stuff, probably more than a lot of guys my age, but I had never gone down on a girl.

Being a shifter, scent was a major thing. Our sense of smell was akin to that of our wolf, heightened and precise. The one time I attempted going down on another girl, I knew immediately she wasn’t Larkin. Something about her scent curdled in my stomach, an inherent wrongness I couldn’t shake.

I barely managed to stop myself from throwing up on her, feigning a stomach virus and getting out of her room as fast as possible.

I never tried it again.

I looked up at Larkin through my lashes, hoping like hell she didn’t notice how unsure I was. “Can I taste you?”

Soundlessly, she nodded.

I slowly peeled her leggings down, exposing inch after inch of creamy flesh. I counted the freckles, traced the scar on her left knee with my tongue. I remembered that scar. She had fallen off her bike and scraped the hell out of her knee.

Remy and I had literally carried her back to her house, leaving our bikes in the alley where she skidded out. It had bled for five blocks.

I tossed the gray pants onto the floor before gently easing her thighs open more. Her hips jerked when I began tracing the edge of the lace panties she wore. I tried to pay attention, taking note when her breathing hitched or her hips moved, but mostly I was absolutely entranced by the girl I was touching.

My index finger ghosted over the wet center of her panties, and she dug her fingers into the couch cushions.

I leaned forward, nuzzling between her legs and inhaling deeply.

Home .

Larkin smelled like home.

I licked her through the lace, smirking when she grabbed a handful of my hair in her hand, rocking her hips.

Slowly, I pulled the lace away from her body, down her legs, until she was fully exposed to me.

Forget alcohol, Larkin made me drunk all on her own.

I slowly nibbled around the exposed flesh, my tongue soothing what my teeth scraped. The taste of her was heady and exotic. The small taste I had when I licked her arousal off my fingers the night before was nothing compared to this. I groaned as I closed my lips over her clit and sucked her into my mouth.

She half-moaned, half-screamed. It was a sound I wanted to hear over and over and over. Fuck, I would record it and make it my ringtone.

It was nothing to slide a finger, then two into her. Her body was wet and soft, ready for my intrusion. I timed the thrust of my fingers with the pull of my mouth until she was gasping, her fingers tugging painfully on my hair.

I worked her over, tasting every inch. I could feel her body shuddering around me, coiling tighter and tighter. I curled my fingers into her, hitting that magic spot that seemed to drive women crazy as I sucked hard.

With a scream of sheer pleasure, Larkin went off. I kept pumping into her, licking her flesh, as I dragged out her orgasm until she was whimpering, her entire body shuddering with aftershocks.

I lifted my head, wiping my mouth on the back of my hand before reaching up and yanking her down off the couch into my arms. Her sensitive core rubbed against my jeans as I hauled her against me, her entire body shaking for a second at the contact.

She dropped her head to my shoulder, her body completely relaxed and spent. She barely had the strength to loop her arms around my neck and her legs around my waist, clinging to me.

My dick throbbed in my jeans, and I was pretty sure I would have a permanent zipper imprint on it moving forward, but I wasn’t going to move the girl curled in my arms for the world.