33. There You Are

There You Are

Luella

I’m nervous, like it’s my first time all over again. As if I haven’t killed before, haven’t hunted monsters for ten years. Cassius confuses me, and I don’t like being confused. I don’t like surprises.

Yet, the best way to understand something is to study it.

I’m studying everything as I enter the Domus Aurea ballroom. It’s in a larger atrium than the last ball I attended with Ledo. A large fountain in the center of the room makes me pause for a moment. It can’t be.

And yet it is. It’s the fountain from the room Ledo trained me in. It was moved here, and the women still shrink away from Bacchus' pouring wine and pissing phallus. Everything about this room is an homage to my courtship with Ledo. White tablecloths, colorful bouquets with more roses than are ever necessary. The fountain. Even the floras around the room are all familiar… the ones he trained me with.

The room is full of women. A bachelor ball is not an uncommon occurrence for men seeking a marriage, but the Dominus? I’d bet all my stones that nearly every eligible female in the city and surrounding farms and vineyards is here. And, of course, men are allowed to attend. Partially as chaperons for their chaste familia members and partially in their own attempt to find wives. The floras are here to keep the marriageable women chaste when the heathen men can’t control their urges and need something to take the edge off.

Gods forbid anyone expect them to control their urges on their own.

I make my way to the wine, which is unfortunately quite close to the fountain. The trickling water freezes me for a moment and I take a deep breath to steady myself. One. Two.

Cassius is sitting directly in front of the fountain, a flora kneading his shoulders and another kneeling beside him. Both are blonde. It does nothing to discourage women from approaching him, as a young woman and her male chaperon are doing when his makeshift throne comes into view. They incline their heads and Cassius looks her up and down before waving a hand.

He’s changed. More arrogant, more open about his proclivities, and I wonder again if this is a trap.

Does it matter if it is? If I isolate him, I can set off my own trap. It won’t matter what he suspects if I have him paralyzed and restrained.

I wish he wasn’t handsome. I wish I hadn’t thought him… something different. Because I had thought he was different for a moment. Maybe for two.

I thought perhaps I’d finally met a man who wasn’t obsessed with destroying. A man who wished to build. Instead, I’d just found one who hadn’t begun breaking yet. And now that he has…I shake my head. There is too much work to do for such trivial thoughts. I wait until he dismisses the next woman that approaches, then I cross to stand before him. I incline my head in respect, but maintain eye contact.

“Dominus,” I say.

He leans forward, intrigued by my lack of manners. I should be complimenting him, the ball, or introducing myself. “What’s your name?” I’ve debated all day how to respond to this question, should he ask, but now I decide to take a risk.

“This is a beautiful ball, Dominus. The fountain especially,” I say. His eyes darken and I know Mia’s insight is correct. He’s looking for Skylar.

For me.

“What’s your name?” he asks again.

“I’ll tell you if you ask me to dance,” I say.

“And if I don’t?” he asks as he rises.

“Then I’ll find another victim.” I smile my most charming smile as he leads me to the dance floor. There are couples all around us and floras dancing alone. The one closest to us is swaying her hips to the slow string melody, her hands caressing each of her own curves in a sheer dress that leaves nothing to the imagination. She looks well compared to how she looked when I saw her under Ledo’s hand. I swallow.

Cassius follows my gaze. “She’s fully recovered.” His voice is flat as he draws me close, one strong arm wrapping around my waist and the other lifting my hand as he leads me.

He’s sturdy. Commanding. The warmth from his hands seeps into my hip, my hand.

“Tell me your name.” It’s not a question this time. His eyes are intent, rapt on me. His scrutiny is so heavy my knees nearly buckle under it.

“What do you think it is?”

“Skylar.” It’s not a question and now I spin another thread for him.

“It’s a pretty name,” I admit.

“But it’s not your name?” He leans in. His attention is unwavering. I use that to begin a new web, even if it’s different from the others.

“It is if you want it to be.”

“Is it Tisiphone?” he demands. His grip tightens, not painfully but possessively. Like he wants to hold Tisiphone, not harm her.

“If you want it to be,” I say again.

“I’d hate you to be made into anything other than that of your own choosing.” He’d said those words to me that first night. And like a fool, I’d believed him. And if I want to replicate whatever it is he is trying to find in Skylar, if I am to step into his trap in order to set off mine, I must pretend to believe it again.

“I can take care of myself, Dominus.”

He stops dancing. Just, stops. I have no choice but to stop with him, lest I spin out of his arms. Heads turn our way, but he only has eyes for me.

“What if you let me take care of you, instead?” For the first time in a decade, the words of a man make me consider, perhaps even make me want. Not to be taken care of exactly, but to be cared for. What a silly time to be inconvenienced by such a human thing as feelings.

I cock my head in confusion and Cassius searches my eyes, catching on the right one. His eyes widen a fraction, and his lips part. The breath in my lungs stalls, frozen beneath his gaze. What does he see?

Cassius claps his hands three times, the sharp sound stopping the instruments and the chatter and the dancing. His voice is strong and confident as he says, “The ball is over. I’ve found my bride.”

The guests look at each other, at Cassius, at me. They murmur. Someone even laughs, an insecure and shrill sound.

“Now,” his voice booms and the confusion turns to surprised obedience. He is a general, after all. Servants shoo guests towards the arched doorways and the floras who have disrobed don their sheer shifts and garments once more.

Minutes later, only the Dominus and I remain.

“I never said yes,” I say, keeping my voice light. I look around the room, not daring to meet his eyes again.

“Can you say no?” He smirks.

“I can always say no,” I snarl before I can stop myself.

He grins—truly grins—and steps closer so I have to look up at him, his chest nearly touching mine. “There you are.”