14. Kali

Ispun around and strode through the empty club. Even Gia wasn't behind the bar. I pushed open the doors, letting the fresh air fill my lungs. I didn't look to see if Zan was following. If he was, he wouldn't be quiet about it.

The street was full of vampires. Night was their playtime, and they were using every second of it. Most outright ignored me as I walked past them. They all knew I was Zan's girl. A pit grew in my stomach at that thought. Before tonight, that had bothered me, but I could live with it. But now? I shook my head, upping my pace as I turned down another block.

I had no idea where I was going. I wasn't stupid enough to think Zan would allow me to leave the city. Not when his father was here, or with his necklace locked around my throat. I just needed to clear my head before he came looking for me.

I wandered through the streets, Amaros Kane's face plaguing every thought. The stories I'd heard about him my entire life were not exaggerated at all. The monster I'd met lived up to the notorious rumors that circulated human cities. I never wanted to be in his presence again, but I had a feeling that wouldn't be the case.

Tim was dead. At least he wasn't suffering at Amaros's hand anymore. My heart panged, and I glanced down at my hand, which still had his blood on it. He was gone. Jill was dead. So were other Clovers. I hoped Warner was okay. As the days went on, I tried not to think of him too much. The odds of me seeing him were low, and it was just too hard.

Before tonight, I thought I could live here and deal with it. Being stuck at Zan's side hadn't been horrible. I could have survived. But now that I knew what he really wanted from me, it changed everything.

I glanced up, realizing I was at the hotel where I'd stayed when I first came to this city. I entered the front doors, sucking in a deep breath when there was nothing but silence. The vampires were trapped inside all day, which meant nearly none of them were here. Yet I faltered, feeling a prickle on the back of my neck.

I looked behind me, not seeing a soul. Still, I walked quietly, waiting to hear any other noises. All I could hear were vampires running around outside, and it all slowly faded as I moved deeper into the hotel. I climbed a set of stairs, finding the room where I'd hidden my backpack when I first came here.

I cracked the door open, breathing a sigh of relief when I saw it was still undisturbed. After slipping inside, I silently closed the door behind me and then hurried toward the bed. Falling onto my knees, I reached under the bedframe, grabbing my bag and pulling it out. After unzipping it, I stared at the weapons and lotion. Zan had been on my ass, trying to get me to tell him where I'd been keeping it.

But fuck him. Especially now. Not that anything in this bag would hurt him or his vile father. I'd had wooden bullets, but I'd lost the gun the night PARA invaded Impulse. I already had enough lotion to last me months. I rifled through the bag, my heart jumping when I spotted my very last stake.

I grabbed it and stuck it in my boot where I'd kept my other one. I doubted it would help me, but having it made me feel better all the same. My fingers trailed to the smaller zipper of the bag, and I hesitated. I wasn't sure when I'd have a chance to come here again. Before I could overthink it, I opened the pouch that held my mother's note and pulled it out.

This was the only piece of my past I had now. Tears blurred my vision as I read it, even though I'd already memorized every word. Would my life be different if I'd never been abandoned? I had no idea whether either of my parents was still alive. A lump formed in my throat, and I shook my head while climbing back to my feet.

It didn't matter. Nothing changed the past. I only had to worry about the present and how the hell I was going to get away from these vampires. Because I knew one thing—I would never bear a child with a Kane.

After tucking the note into the pocket of my leggings, I wiped my face and sucked in a deep breath. I kicked my bag back under the bed and then strode out of the room. As I made my way back to the hotel entrance, my mind raced.

I wanted to run. Take my chances on my own. I swallowed thickly. Solely on my own. No Clovers. No Warner. I only had myself. How long could I survive that way?

I wandered down the dark street, staying close to the buildings while vampires ran down the streets. I was so lost in thought I didn't realize someone had stepped in my way until I nearly ran into a chest. With a mumbled curse, I scrambled back. I couldn't let my guard down here ever.

"What a surprise," a deep voice drawled. "No one ever sees you alone."

My eyes darted to the vampire in front of me, and I frowned when I recognized him. The blond who'd challenged Zan in Impulse when he flirted with me. He flashed me a wide smile before his nostrils flared and his eyes fell to my hand. I followed his gaze, remembering that Tim's blood was still on me.

"Dinner?" he asked, lifting his gaze back to my face. "Smells delicious."

It was a reminder that these vampires thought I was one of them. I straightened my spine, letting cold seep into my eyes. They didn't fear me. They left me alone because of Zan, but I knew that wouldn't stop some of them from coming after me. Especially when I was by myself.

I moved to go around him, but he stepped with me while also getting a little closer. Chills swept through me, and I scowled.

"Move," I demanded, my voice hard.

He arched an eyebrow. "Everyone is so curious about you. Zan Kane never shows interest in anyone. Now he has you practically chained to his side. Although I don't see him anywhere now."

Fear bubbled in my gut. "Get out of my way."

"Oh come on." He chuckled. "I just want to talk. What makes you so special that the Kane brothers are keeping you hidden away?"

"I'm with Zan." The words were bitter on my tongue, but if it was the only way to get him away from me, then I'd use it.

His eyes raked over my body, his smirk leering. "I just want to know why. Though I can guess."

I didn't like the glint in his eye, and I was suddenly very glad I'd grabbed my stake. Zan and his brothers might own this city, but clearly, there were some vampires who didn't obey their every word.

"Run along, Walker. Before you get yourself in trouble."

The feminine voice had both shock and relief filling me. I glanced to the side to see Gia stepping out of the shadows. Her fiery red hair was piled on her head, and her usual smile was on her face, but her eyes were dark with warning as she looked at the blond she'd called Walker.

Walker's grin faded, and he glared at Gia. "We're just talking."

"And now you're done," she clipped out. "Leave."

I'd never heard that tone from her before. It was downright scary. Zan's words to be wary of Gia crossed my mind, and this proved he was right. She might be cheery all the time, but she was just as dangerous as all the other vampires in this city. Probably even more so.

"Would you like me to inform Zan that you're talking to his girl?" Gia cocked her head to the side. "I'll be happy to do it."

Walker's face turned to stone, and he quickly shook his head. "No need. I'm leaving."

He shot me one more look before he sauntered off, and I lost him in the darkness. Gia let out a chuckle as she came up to me and linked her arm with mine.

"You have a knack for finding trouble," she murmured as she began walking, taking me with her. "You need to be careful when you're alone."

I glanced at her. "Was I alone? Or have you been following me?"

"Not following…just watching to make sure no one bothered you."

"I didn't see you when I left Impulse," I muttered.

"You seemed to have a lot on your mind."

My stomach twisted, and I attempted to pull away from her, but her grip was too strong. She led me down another street, and I sighed in frustration.

"Taking me back to Zan?" I asked irritably.

"Not yet. I think you need some space. You looked hurt when you left Impulse."

"Angry," I corrected her stiffly.

She nodded, as if knowing exactly what I was talking about. "Meeting Amaros isn't fun. But he didn't hurt you. He wouldn't when you're wearing Zan's necklace."

"Did you hear what happened?"

"That room is soundproof," she reminded me.

We were in a part of the city that I'd never been to before, but Gia seemed to know where she was going. Vampires glanced at us but gave us a wide berth as we passed them.

"Do you know?" I whispered. "What the necklace means?"

"Yes."

Her answer had my stomach clenching, and I again tried to pull away from her. She didn't let me go, taking us into a building. Darkness took over my sight, and I slowed my pace, not liking that I couldn't see.

"Gia," I hissed, my heart pounding. "Where are you taking me?"

"Somewhere there aren't prying ears."

She guided me farther into the building, her steps confident. After a couple of minutes, she halted, and I heard the click of another door. She pushed it open, and the first thing I saw were a few candles, dimly lighting the area. My eyes widened as I took in the room.

It was a small area but had more color than I'd ever seen. Each wall was painted differently with bright pastels. Blue, red, yellow. It radiated warmth and friendliness. There was a bed with a tie-dye comforter on the back wall and a small table with a couple of chairs in the corner. Long bookshelves lined the other walls.

"Is this your place?" I asked quietly, staring at the art on the walls.

"Yes," she chirped out, giving me a push so she could close the door. "Make yourself at home."

"It's…nice," I said quietly.

"Thank you." She moved to the small kitchenette in the back of the room and came back with a wet rag. "I collect things from everywhere. It's amazing what you can find in abandoned cities."

I scrubbed at the dried blood on my hand as she fell onto the edge of her bed. I sat in the chair near the table, still wiping at my skin.

Confusion rattled through me and I cleared my throat. "Why'd you bring me here?"

"Amaros is still at Impulse," she stated with a shrug. "And no one can hear us in here. I figured you'd want to stay out of sight until he leaves."

"Did Zan tell you to follow me?"

Amusement danced in her eyes. "He knew I would have anyway. This city isn't safe for you to wander off."

I bristled. "You don't have to pretend like you care about me."

"Who's pretending? I like you." She paused. "You should be flattered. I don't like a lot of people."

"You're nice to everyone."

"I am," she agreed. "And I'd rip most of their throats out without a second thought. But not you."

"Well, thanks. I think," I mumbled, tossing the cloth onto the table.

She sighed. "Kali. You are a human living in a world of monsters. You need to be more careful. No going off alone."

"Why does it matter?" I shot back, my voice shrill. "I'd rather take my chances than be with Zan."

She tsked. "That's your anger talking."

I flew to my feet, grabbing the necklace. "You know what this means. You knew. Amaros wants Shadows with his blood. And Zan wants to use me to do it. I won't. I will never get pregnant by a vampire." I spat the word out with pure venom.

She eyed me thoughtfully as she crossed her arms. "That's what Amaros wants, yes."

I scoffed. "No offense, but I can't trust you either. You're with them. You've known this whole time."

She laughed. "No offense taken. I understand. But I think you need to look at the facts."

"Like what?" I bit out.

"Zan put that necklace on you when he thought you were a vampire." Her lips tipped up in a smile. "He's lied for you to his father. Something he, nor the twins, ever do."

"Yeah, well, I lied for him too." I scoffed, shaking my head. "I didn't tell the Clovers that his blood healed me. Fuck, I slept with him instead of alerting anyone that he'd escaped when my group had him." I snapped my mouth shut, remembering who I was talking to. Gia might be friendly, but she was a vampire, and she was close to the Kanes.

She didn't appear surprised by my words. "Why did you lie for him?"

I swallowed thickly. "I don't know."

"Maybe because you trust him?"

"Absolutely not," I retorted.

She chuckled. "Okay. Then maybe you care for him. At least enough that you want him to stay alive."

"Obviously there's something wrong with me," I muttered grudgingly. "Because I shouldn't care at all."

"He shouldn't either." Her smile was full of secrets, and I narrowed my eyes. "But he does. Enough that up until tonight, he hadn't spoken a word about you to his father."

My stomach clenched. "I don't want to be a part of any of this."

"I know," she said gently. "But we can't change that. You're here to stay."

I glowered at her. "Is this talk supposed to be helpful?"

"I'm just saying you should talk to Zan," she said slowly. "Let him explain. Amaros wanted you to hear the most horrid details to scare you. He's a cruel vampire who finds pleasure in other's pain. Zan has been keeping you safe since you got to this city. He's saved your life. Give him a chance to make this better."

"Can he make it better?" I asked in a small voice. "Can he promise me that I'll never be forced to carry his child? Or that his father won't kill me?"

"No, he can't," she said bluntly, without apology. "But it's better than you trying to run away and make this all worse on yourself."

I opened my mouth to argue that I wasn't planning on running away, but she gave me a pointed look, proving she'd already guessed what I wanted to do.

"They'd find you anyway." Her eyes fell to the necklace. "You can only run so far."

"Anywhere is better than here," I grumbled.

"Now, that's not true." She got off the bed and strode to the small kitchenette in the back corner. "I know of much worse places you could be trapped in than here. Amaros's property, for one. And if you make trouble, and Zan's father finds out about it, that's where you'll end up."

A chill ran through me. "How do you know Amaros so well?"

She faltered for a moment when opening a cabinet. "He turned me. I spent the first twenty years as a vampire at his side."

Her words were robotic with no emotion in them, and I was smart enough to know that this wasn't a subject she wanted to talk about. So I asked a different question instead.

"Since I already know all the other secrets, you might as well tell me how humans are turned into vampires."

She laughed. "Nice try, Kali. Ask me something else that I can answer."

Her statement had me going still as I stared at her. Zan refused to tell me any secrets about his father. Would Gia? She opened what appeared to be some sort of cooler and pulled out a blood bag. Shock ripped through me as I watched her tear the top off and start drinking it. I knew that PARA gave donated blood to vampires, but how did it get to this city when they didn't even know there were vampires here?

"I have to take you back soon, so if you want to ask something, better do it now," she said, her cheery demeanor back in place.

"If Amaros wants more Shadows with his blood," I said slowly, "then why doesn't he have more children instead of making Zan do it?"

She looked at me thoughtfully. "Balance of nature."

"What does that mean?"

"It means that vampires who mate can only do it so many times." She crossed the room, holding her closed hand out toward me. "Three times, to be exact."

"Three," I echoed, the new information processing. "Why did Amaros wait this long to mate?"

"He mated decades before he had the twins."

She didn't exactly answer my question, and I had a feeling she wouldn't. No point in pressing the matter when I could ask other things.

I frowned. "Do they choose when they mate?"

"No. Again, that's nature's decision." She drank from the blood bag again. "Male vampires go into what can be best explained as something along the lines of going into heat. They can feel when they're ready to mate. The window is small. It lasts maybe a week each time. And it only happens once every few years."

My mind was racing. This was all news to me. We knew only certain vampires could mate. But the fact that they didn't choose when to mate was something humans didn't know. Did PARA know?

"Did Amaros mention anything about…" She hesitated for a moment, her unsure look making my stomach knot. "The women vampires mate with?"

"Not really," I muttered, thinking about what Amaros had told me. "Only that he thought I was strong enough to survive pregnancy."

She nodded. "Even though Shadows don't come into their abilities until they turn twenty-five, the pregnancy of their mothers is difficult. Hard enough that more than half don't live through labor. Sometimes they can't even carry the pregnancy."

Fear slid through me. "Why?"

"Maybe it's their black blood. Their power." She shrugged. "I don't exactly know. But I do know that Amaros is very particular about the women chosen for vampires. They need to be strong. If they can't hold the pregnancy, then they are of no use to him, and it's a waste of a vampire's mating time."

"He's making an army, isn't he?" I asked quietly. "Of Shadows. The war really isn't over. He's just been biding his time."

Her lips curled up in a small smile. "Very good. I knew you were smart."

"Why are you telling me this?" I whispered, panic making my chest tight.

"Because I want you to have all the facts," she said firmly. "I'm not trying to scare you. But you aren't leaving this life anymore, Kali. Not now that Amaros knows about you."

"Zan wouldn't—" I cut myself off, thinking carefully about what to say. I couldn't be completely sure of my words, but I had to have some hope for this fucked-up situation. "He wouldn't force pregnancy on me. He might be a Kane, but he has some humanity, unlike his father."

"Amaros might not give him a choice in the matter," she mumbled almost too low for me to hear.

My eyes locked on hers. "What does that mean?"

She pressed her lips together, her expression going blank. Whatever secret she was holding wasn't something she was going to reveal. I sagged in the chair, her answers making my head spin. I wasn't even sure I wanted to know anymore secrets, because each one seemed worse than the last.

"Are you hungry?" she asked, changing the subject. "I'm sure I have some snacks in here somewhere."

I shook my head. "I'm good, thanks."

"Just relax," she said softly. "We'll stay here until Amaros leaves."

I wanted to keep asking questions, but apparently, she was done with that conversation. I played with the charm on the necklace as I looked around her room again. It was so calming in here. The bright colors were so different from everything else in this city.

I blew out a long breath, steadying my nerves. At least I wouldn't have to see Amaros again tonight. I'd be happy to never be in the same room with him ever again, but I had a feeling that wouldn't happen.