Chapter 10

TEN

They’d been buildingup to it all evening. Longer than that. The coil between Will and Oakley had been steadily tightening for weeks, and Will couldn’t keep it from unraveling anymore. It was too painful to stand back, watching Oakley’s heart and soul rise to the surface, to hear just how deep his insecurities ran, and how central Will himself was to those fears.

He couldn’t let it continue for another second, no matter what the consequences would be.

He slammed his mouth over Oakley’s, kissing him with all he had. It wasn’t a time for light pecks of chaste flirting. Oakley needed to be ravished, and Will needed to let go and vent everything he’d been trying to hold back for months now.

He was rewarded by a wrenching groan from Oakley that parted his lips and allowed Will to plunder him with his tongue. Oakley’s arms came up, his hands gripping Will through his shirt as if he would tear not only Will’s clothes off, but layers of his skin as well to get to what he needed. The strength Oakley had built since they’d started working together was enough to press bruises into Will’s sides, and Will loved it. He loved that he’d helped Oakley form that strength.

He had no intention of letting up, but he needed to shift so that he wouldn’t crush the breath out of Oakley. He would much rather kiss him into breathlessness. Oakley clung to him as if Will were trying to pull away, the faintest hint of pleading in his kiss-drunk moan. Will reassured him that he wasn’t going anywhere by diving in for another kiss, unable to hold back his own sounds of victory.

Finally. After weeks of dancing around it, questioning his judgment and Oakley’s, and worrying what other people would think. Finally, they’d taken that step to just let it all go and put their hearts on the line.

“I want you, too,” Will gasped between kisses. He reached for the hem of Oakley’s shirt and spread his hand against the skin of his side.

That wasn’t enough, so he pushed his hand up, feeling Oakley’s muscles ripple and his skin pebble with excitement as he reached for Oakley’s nipple. Somewhere in the back of his head, the clinical part of him that was experienced with spinal cord injuries ran through a list of things that Oakley would definitely feel and that would give him pleasure, but that voice wasn’t the one Will wanted to listen to.

He wanted Oakley as his lover, plain and simple. He wanted to enjoy him, and vice versa, without the distance of analysis between them. He just wanted to be with the man he loved and make him happy.

“Off,” he panted, leveraging himself up enough to tug at Oakley’s shirt until he could work it off over his head.

Oakley stretched his arms up, his eyes never leaving Will’s, his breaths escaping in pants that borderlined on panic. It was the panic that embodied everything Oakley had just said to him, every fear he’d just confessed.

As soon as Oakley’s shirt was off, Will knelt up and pulled his own shirt off, tossing it carelessly aside. He liked the feeling of towering over Oakley and giving him something to look at. The heat and brightness in Oakley’s eyes, some of it leftover from the tears Oakley had bravely shed along with his confession, had Will’s cock straining against his scrubs. Oakley would hate that Will could be so thoroughly dominant over him, but knowing that only fired Will’s blood more.

With a cocky grin, Will tugged loose the tie of his scrubs and pushed them and his underwear down, freeing his erection for Oakley to see. He was even bastard enough to cup his balls for a second and fist his cock while Oakley watched, the fire in his eyes turning dark.

“Still think you can’t give me what I want?” Will asked, letting his voice turn rough and wicked.

“I—”

Whatever Oakley wanted to say, it wasn’t coming out. So Will leaned over him again, slanting his mouth over Oakley’s open, panting one and eliciting another overwhelmed moan.

And that was a victory sweeter than any erection. Oakley was right there with him, feeling things he probably thought had been lost to him. Will had no intention of letting those things be gone for good.

He stroked his hand up Oakley’s stomach and chest to pinch and play with his nipple, kissing him the whole time. The thump of Oakley’s heart under his hand was intoxicating, and the way something suddenly clicked in Oakley, causing him to wrestle control of their kiss away from Will had Will so close to coming that it was laughable.

Oakley was a seriously good kisser too. He grabbed the back of Will’s neck and held him where he wanted him as he ploughed his tongue into the warm wetness of Will’s mouth. Will let his control slip just enough to give Oakley the space he needed to explore and claim.

And Will definitely felt claimed.

“You do give me pleasure,” Will gasped as he broke away from Oakley’s mouth and moved to kiss and nip his neck, from the base of his ear to where it met his shoulder. “And I know you’re feeling it, too.”

Oakley tipped his head back and moaned, “Yes.”

Will smiled against his shoulder, then kissed his way over Oakley’s collarbone to one of his nipples. All of it was completely new, to Oakley and to him. For his entire adult life, Will had taken sex for granted, assumed that orgasm was the goal. That definitely felt like it was in the mail, for him at least, but there was so much more to what he and Oakley were sharing now.

He lifted up long enough to scoot down, then pulled at the drawstring of Oakley’s sweatpants. Way in the back of his head, he wanted to tease Oakley for wearing sweatpants while hosting a dinner party, but he understood where Oakley was coming from in wearing clothes that were easy to get on and off.

And frankly, he was glad they were so simple.

Oakley was half hard as Will pulled his sweatpants and underwear down to his thighs. It was an astoundingly good sign, and later, Will would praise Oakley for the advancement in his recovery. But at the moment, there were other things to be getting on with.

He leaned down again and kissed the flat of Oakley’s stomach, feeling the tense and release and ripple of Oakley’s muscles as he dealt with the sensation. Will didn’t stop there. With a quick, almost commanding look up at Oakley to let him know there was no going back now, he kissed a trail farther and farther down Oakley’s belly until he passed the point where the spinal cord damage began to have its effect.

He knew he’d crossed into dangerous territory when Oakley made a bereft, panicked sound.

Will glanced up. “Anything?” he asked, his heart thundering with hope.

Oakley made another sound and nodded slightly. He then muscled himself to his elbows and watched as Will kissed his way along the line between his hip and his thigh, then turned his head to nuzzle Oakley’s balls.

Oakley sucked in a breath, another desperate, emotional sound escaping from him. And Will knew why. Despite his anxiety and fear, Oakley was holding onto his weak erection. It wasn’t a fluke of the moment, it was real.

“Easy, baby,” Will said soothingly. “Don’t think about it, just let it happen.”

Oakley nodded, then slowly lowered himself to his back. He kept his hands behind his head to prop him up just enough to watch.

Will fought to push aside the pressure he could feel building to make this experience work for Oakley. He would wreck everything if he freaked himself out with the importance of the moment. Instead, he breathed in the scent of Oakley’s sweat and intimate skin and drew one of Oakley’s balls into his mouth.

He was rewarded with a sound of wonder and pleasure from Oakley. There was no way to tell just what it felt like for him or how much of that sensation was making its way up Oakley’s damaged spine. Will had to just keep going, letting his love for this brave, powerful, broken man infuse everything he did.

He drew his hand up Oakley’s inner thigh, softly at first, like he would have done with any other lover, then with much greater force when it dawned on him that soft touches would be lost. He was rewarded by Oakley’s shuddering breath, and he would have given anything to know just what Oakley was feeling right then.

Whatever it was, it caused a tiny drop of moisture to seep out from the enclosed head of Oakley’s semi-hard cock. That small bit of moisture was more of a turn-on for Will than a fountain of cum. He shifted his stance, held the base of Oakley’s cock, and dragged his tongue up Oakley’s still-hardening length.

“I can feel it,” Oakley sobbed. He moved one hand to cover his eyes, as if he could physically hold his tears in.

Will increased his efforts, pulling back Oakley’s foreskin so he could get to the highest concentration of nerves. He’d never enjoyed giving head so much. Because every twitch of response, every push of blood and increase in firmness meant so much more than a moment of pleasure. It was a miracle, proof that the human body was capable of amazing feats of healing, and the human heart along with it.

The harder Oakley got, the more Will threw himself into pleasuring him. He let his spit drip down the sides of Oakley’s shaft and used that slickness to pump him to even greater fullness. The strangled sounds of pleasure and elation and gratitude that slipped softly from Oakley one moment, then ripped from him like a battle cry, had Will hard and dripping against Oakley’s leg as he worked harder. He threw his whole heart into it, as if he could fuse their souls and give Oakley every bit of the pleasure and awareness that the blessed man gave him.

And all at once, with a sharp intake of breath, the throbbing under Will’s hand and in his mouth changed. Oakley let out a groan, and a weak rush of warmth filled Will’s mouth. Oakley’s orgasm would have been considered a massive disappointment by most men, but the wrenching emotional wail that Oakley let out as he sagged against the mat was so full of joy that Will’s throat closed up and his eyes started to sting as well.

It would be okay. The accident hadn’t destroyed everything. They would be okay.

Will pushed his way back up to kiss Oakley, swallowing the wild sounds of relief and grief and passion that Oakley didn’t seem able to stop. Now that the dreaded, unspoken question had been answered, all Will wanted to do was hold his lover and feel everything with him.

But Oakley wasn’t done yet.

He gasped and swallowed a few times, like he was fighting to pull himself together, then he reached between the two of them.

Will flinched when Oakley’s hand closed around his erection. In his elation for Oakley, Will had almost forgotten how aroused he still was himself. Oakley’s touch reminded him, and he bowed his head against Oakley’s shoulder and let out a rough sound of pleasure as Oakley stroked him.

The sudden catch in Oakley’s breath and the softness of his exhale against Will’s cheek was all the communication Will needed to know just how important the second act of their lovemaking was to Oakley. His own pleasure was only half his fear. The other half had been whether he’d be able to satisfy Will.

“Yes,” Will sighed against Oakley’s neck, knowing how much that one word was needed.

He pushed his hips into Oakley’s hand, playing his own part in fulfilling them both. He had no intention of mollycoddling Oakley when they were working through his exercises, and he had no intention of giving him the easy way out and simply using Oakley’s hand to get off. Like everything else, he intended to make his lover work for it.

Oakley rose to the occasion. He was as good at giving hand-jobs as he was at kissing. Will pressed his lips into Oakley’s neck as he fisted his cock like a pro, then kissed his way over Oakley’s cheek to find his mouth again.

That did it for both of them. Oakley squeezed him expertly, using his thumb around Will’s tip to extend the sensation, and Will came apart, soaking Oakley’s hand in cum. They both gasped and moaned at the feelings of pleasure and closeness that wrapped themselves around the two of them, closing them off to the world and creating a pocket of bliss and contentment for just the two of them.

They relaxed into the mat, Will splaying his body over Oakley’s, both of them trying desperately to catch their breaths. There was probably something wrong about the soaring sense of accomplishment that Will felt, and that he had a pretty good idea Oakley was feeling as well. It was almost as if the two of them were teenagers, inwardly congratulating themselves for finally punching their V-cards.

“Will?” Oakley asked in a quiet, almost sheepish voice as their breathing returned to normal and as the first hints of the cool room seeped past the heat radiating from their spent bodies.

“Yeah, baby?” Will asked without lifting his head from the mat beside Oakley’s.

Oakley laughed softly, then said, “Could we take this post-coital cuddling out of the gym and into my bed? I might not feel much from the waist down—”

“You can obviously feel something,” Will said, lifting his head enough to grin impishly at Oakley.

Oakley stared flatly at him, joy and affection glittering in his eyes. “Be that as it may, while I might not be able to feel much in my lower half, the rest of my back is killing me on the floor here.”

“Let’s do something about that, then,” Will said.

He couldn’t wipe the smile off his face as he pushed himself to his hands and knees, then knelt. He noticed Oakley ogling his now flaccid cock before he tucked it away and tied his scrubs. Once that was done, he pulled up Oakley’s sweatpants, then helped him to sit.

The glorious moment of heat and closeness drifted away as Will lifted Oakley and carried him back to the en suite in his bedroom. Neither of them said much as they went through their usual bedtime routine. A little more cleaning up than usual was needed, but Will did it all with a smile.

By the time he tucked Oakley into bed, quickly ran back to the gym to fetch his wheelchair so that it would be where it needed to be in the morning, then slipped into bed with Oakley and pulled him into his arms, Will was well and truly exhausted. He was also happier than he’d been in ages.

“The gym needs to be tidied up a bit before any of your homecare staff goes in there,” he warned Oakley, trying not to laugh as he did.

“It can’t be that bad,” Oakley said, wriggling a bit to settle against Will’s chest as he spooned him. “I don’t think I produced enough semen to even be noticed.”

Will hugged him tighter, pressing his lips into the back of Oakley’s neck. “But you did manage to come,” he whispered.

Oakley was silent for a long time before whispering back, “I didn’t think it would ever happen again.”

Will stroked a hand down his side, then reached around to thread his fingers through Oakley’s. “It felt different, didn’t it.”

Oakley nodded. “I’ll probably be upset about how vague and weak it was later.”

“No, don’t be.” Will kissed his neck again. “You felt something. That’s progress.”

“You and your progress,” Oakley said with wry fondness.

“Hey, don’t knock progress,” Will said, smiling again. “Obviously, the compression is easing up. You’ve regained an enormous amount of function and sensation, and in a relatively short amount of time. I would call this a wildly successful recovery.”

Oakley hummed sarcastically. “Yes, just like my injury was a miraculous best-case scenario.”

Will stayed silent. He knew what Oakley meant. It was frustrating to have everyone tell you how lucky you were when you were stuck in a wheelchair.

Will was starting to drift and was certain Oakley had fallen asleep already when Oakley surprised him with, “So, does this mean we’re dating?”

Will’s first instinct was to laugh and roll Oakley to his back and kiss the shit out of him.

Then Armitage’s stupid face somehow drifted into his thoughts. With it came all the ethical questions and problems that the two of them had discussed a couple weeks ago.

Naming what he and Oakley were would bring him that much closer to the moment when everything got out and he would be forced to make a decision. Could he honestly tell Oakley the two of them were in a relationship while keeping it a secret from his work colleagues and the people who would question his judgment in getting involved with a patient? Was it truly anyone’s business whom he saw in his free time?

Could he stop himself from falling in love with Oakley and wanting the world to know it? Was that even possible now?

No. It wasn’t. Oakley was his, and he wanted to put a name on that.

“As long as I can call you baby in front of your brother and watch his reaction, then yes, we’re officially in a relationship,” he said, swimming in relief…and feeling like he might drown in those waters.

Oakley laughed sleepily. “Oh, I am living for the moment when we tell Heath that we’re together,” he said, nudging Will so that he could roll to his back and look up at him. He reached up and cradled Will’s cheek in his warm hand. “I just want you to know this is real,” he said, smiling. “I’m not deluded, I haven’t formed a false attachment because you’re my physical therapist, and you aren’t taking advantage of me because I’m vulnerable. I would have fallen for you in an instant if I’d seen you across the dining room at the club, or at some other Brotherhood event.”

Will turned his face into Oakley’s hand and kissed his palm. “Thanks for saying that,” he said. “It means a lot to know we’re both going into this with eyes wide open.”

“We are,” Oakley said. He stretched up a bit, and Will dipped down to kiss him.

The two of them settled in for sleep from there. Everything about Oakley’s body language said he was relaxed and at peace.

Will wished the same were true for him. He did love Oakley, and he believed him when he said this wasn’t just some sort of reactionary relationship. He just wondered how far that would take them and what sort of choices they would both face once the truth got out.