30. Lani

30

Lani

L ani's hair was still damp from her post-wedding surf session when she padded barefoot across the grass of the cemetery. Alae was just down the road from Honoli‘i, and it felt wrong to drive home without paying her family a visit.

"Hey Mom." Tears filled her eyes as she knelt down between her parents' graves. "Hi Dad."

She tried to say more, but her throat was too tight for words. After a few false starts, she gave up and bowed her head. Tears flowed silently down her cheeks, releasing the undercurrent of grief that had been pulling at her all day.

"I wish you could have been there," she said at last.

Tenn squeezed her shoulder and sat down beside her, sitting cross-legged at her mother's feet. He handed her a handkerchief, and she used it to wipe her face and blow her nose.

He wore the silk shirt that he had worn for their wedding ceremony, and beneath it a pair of board shorts still damp from the river. After they got back from surfing, he spent an hour playing in the river with their girls.

He looked so handsome in that moment, and his dark eyes brimmed with such love and adoration that Lani's grief for her parents was eclipsed again by joy and gratitude. It felt like too much for one heart to hold.

"Don't cry, Mama." Rory crawled into her lap and hugged her.

"It's okay to cry sometimes," Lani said.

"Is this where they put your parents?"

"Yeah, this is the place." She turned towards Tenn so that they could look left and see the ocean. "Nice view, huh?"

"Yeah." Rory gave the horizon a cursory glance and looked back to Lani, her luminous brown eyes full of concern. "Do you miss them a lot?"

"I do, yeah. I miss them extra when big things happen. I miss them when life is hard, and I miss them when life is wonderful. I missed them so much when you were born, because they would have loved to meet you. They would have loved you so much. And I miss them extra today, because I always thought that they would be there when I got married."

"Will you be there for me?" Rory asked, her voice quavering.

"Of course I will." Lani held her daughter tighter, knowing how fragile her promise was. Neither of her parents would have abandoned her on purpose. Nothing scared her more than having to leave her daughter too soon – or, God forbid, the opposite.

"I don't want you to go in the ground," Rory sobbed. She buried her face in the bodice of Lani's dress and held on for dear life.

"Oh, baby." Lani rocked her daughter back and forth, agast at the turn their visit to the cemetery had taken.

It was so beautiful here, bright and sunny with a storybook tree and an ocean view. She had thought that they could pay their respects and be on their way. She hadn't planned on breaking down crying or foreseen the effect that would have on her five year old. Now she could kick herself for spoiling a perfect day.

She looked helplessly at Tenn, who now had his own daughter in his lap. Olivia wasn't as shaken as Rory, but she watched her friend – her sister – with concern.

"I'm sorry," she told them.

"Don't be sorry." He scooted a bit closer so that he could wrap one arm around her and Rory. Olivia leaned in too, hugging her little sister.

"Don't be sad, Rory," she said. "You have three parents, remember? That's a lot."

"Yeah." Rory sniffed, then blew her nose when Tenn produced another handkerchief. The man had come prepared. "That's true."

From within the loving embrace of her family, Lani looked at her parents' gravestones and cast out for some anecdote, anything that she could tell the girls to humanize those names and numbers carved in granite.

"Did you know that my mom was your Auntie Mahina's little sister?" she asked.

Rory sniffed again and looked up at her. "She was?"

"Yep. She was two years younger, just like you and Rory. She was a Kealoha, and my dad was a King."

"A real king?" Olivia exclaimed.

"No," Lani laughed, "not that kind of king. Just his last name, like mine. You and your dad are Nakamuras, and me and Rory are Kings." She had briefly considered changing her name, but she couldn't bear to relinquish that last thread of connection to her parents.

"What was she like?" Tenn asked softly. "Your mom."

"She was wonderful." Memories flooded her mind, simple everyday scenes like her mom in the kitchen or the garden, and she fought back another round of tears. "She loved flowers. You know how Auntie Mahina's garden is full of colorful flowers? Your grandma's garden was just like that, but she had even more . She worked out in her garden every day. It made her so happy."

Rory looked at her thoughtfully for a moment and then removed the haku lei she still wore. It was considerably worse for wear now, with half of its petals missing, but it was precious to her. She had guarded it jealously all day.

Now she wiggled out of Lani's lap and set the circle of flowers on top of her grandmother's grave.

"I'm sorry you couldn't come today," she said. "You can have this."

It was all Lani could do not to start sobbing again.

Olivia whispered something into Tenn's ear, and they both stood.

"We'll be right back." He bent to kiss Lani's cheek, then followed his daughter to the car.

"What else did grandma like?" Rory asked.

"She liked sea glass. We used to go to the beach together and collect it. She had bowls of it all over the house. And she liked to paint."

"Like you!'

"Yeah. Like me."

"And how about your dad? What did he like?"

"He loved to surf. He's the one who taught me how."

"Will you teach me?"

"Sure I will."

"But not big waves like today. I need little ones. Like five-year-old size."

"Deal." She pulled Rory back into her lap. "We'll find you some five-year-old sized waves."

Olivia came running back with Lani's bridal bouquet.

"Your dad should get flowers too," she said, placing the plumerias beneath his name.

"That's so thoughtful, Livie. Thank you."

"You're welcome." She looked down at her feet, turning her bare toes this way and that in the grass. "Can we go home now?"

"Yeah." Lani released Rory, who bounced easily to her feet.

Tenn extended a hand to her and pulled her up. She rose up onto her toes and kissed him lightly on the lips.

"Let's go home."