29. Emma

29

Emma

" I 'd love to help."

"Are you sure?"

"Of course. It would be fun to spend time in an established orchard, especially with Juniper. How about I join you a couple days this week so you can show me the ropes?"

Nate picked her up in a crushing hug and released her a moment later. "I'll go tell ‘ōlena."

He ran off and Emma smiled after him, trying to lean into her happiness for her community instead of the sudden crushing grief that threatened to hollow her out.

Grief was like that, slamming into her when she least expected it. It could be triggered by the smallest thing, like a hug. The knowledge that she would never feel Adam's arms around her again sucked at every shred of happiness like a black hole.

She walked towards the river, trying to escape the great void of despair that had sprung up in her chest. Lord, but she was tired of grieving. It sucked the light away from every good thing in her life.

Adam would want her to be happy. He would want her to be present with their son. Kai had been robbed of his father far too young, and there was nothing that she could do about that. But she could do her best to ensure that grief didn't rob him of his mother as well.

He was skipping stones across the calm bend of the river, or trying to.

"Try keeping it level with the surface of the water, like this." Cody bent double next to him, showing him how he held his flat rock parallel to the river's surface. He sent it flying with a flick of his wrist, and it skimmed across the top, skipping a dozen times.

"That's amazing!" Kai shouted. He tried again, and this time the stone bounced once against the water before disappearing. "I did it!"

"Great job, bud!" Cody congratulated him.

Emma's aching heart eased a bit. Kai didn't have Adam, but he had her, and he had a solid community in Pualena. That counted for a lot.

"Mom!" He spotted her watching and ran over. "I skipped a rock! Did you see?"

"I did!" She caught him up in a hug and held him close.

"Cody showed me!"

"That's awesome!" She released him, letting his feet touch back down on the rocky shore. "Hey, guess what?"

"What?"

"Prince's grandma called and asked if he could hang out with us today. A friend of hers is going to drop him off, and then we'll take him home after dinner."

"What!" He threw his arms from side to side in a wild dance.

"Good news?"

"The best news! This is my good news dance! I'm dancing a little because I have to pee, but mostly from exciteness!" He paused and scratched his nose. "It's like one fourth pee and three fourths excited."

Emma laughed. "Come on. Let's walk up to the bathrooms."

Her heart was steady as they walked up the beach. The tidal wave of grief receded as quickly as it had arrived.

She wondered if it would always feel that way… if it would ever be less devastating.

When they got back to the reception, Lani and Tenn had finally come in from surfing. Lani had changed back into her yellow dress, and her hair was still streaming wet as she and Tenn cut their wedding cake. A cheer went up from the assembled crowd, and Emma and Tara set themselves to handing out slices of cake. Once everyone was served, they claimed the last two.

"Lani," Emma called, "are you sure you don't want to freeze one?"

"Ew!" Lani called back. Beside her, Tenn laughed. "No thanks!"

"Okay, then I guess this one's for me."

"No offense, Tara! It's perfect! I just don't want old cake in my freezer."

Tara grinned. "No offense taken."

She and Emma claimed a piece of shade and sat down to eat. The inside was chocolate, surrounded by coconut buttercream, and it was amazing.

"You could do this for a living," Emma said.

"You're the fourth person to tell me that today."

"See?"

"Pass."

"It's so good, though."

"I'll make you a cake whenever, but there's no way I'm doing weddings for a living. I'll keep making my island-grown meals. Nobody cares what they look like, so it's a lot less stress."

"Makes sense." Emma settled in to enjoy her slice… then froze when she saw Juniper and Cody walking down the beach hand in hand. The buttercream lodged in her throat, and she coughed.

"Are you okay?" Tara asked.

She made a sweeping gesture towards the teenagers. "Are they… together ?"

Tara laughed. "You didn't know?"

"I thought they were just friends!"

"They were. And now… maybe more."

"I thought he had a crush on Liam's daughter."

"He's moved past that, thank goodness. She only ever saw him as a brother, as far as I know. Which is good, since…"

"Since they might actually be brother and sister someday?"

"Maybe." Tara wrinkled her nose and laughed. "That would have been a little weird."

Emma looked back at the teenagers, far down the beach. "I had no idea."

"He moped around for weeks after Maddie turned him down… and then Juniper moved in next door, and he perked right up."

"I feel like an idiot. Just when I thought I was doing well with her."

"Are you upset?" Tara asked.

"No. Well, a little. Not about Cody; I adore him. I just wish Juniper felt like she could tell me things. I felt like I'd made some progress with her."

"It can be hard to talk about things that you're still figuring out."

"I guess so."

Tara gave her a friendly nudge. "Juniper's an amazing kid. You're doing great."

"I can't take credit for that."

"That's funny, because you're sure quick to beat yourself up over the little stuff."

"I just wish she felt like she could talk to me." Emma ate the last bite of cake and set her plate aside.

"You'll get there. It takes time, that's all. Teenagers are weird. Super open about some things, secretive about others. I try to let Cody tell me about stuff in his own time. Lord knows prying doesn't help. They're like opihi; one clumsy attempt and they're stuck tight. No getting anything out of them after that, at least for a while."

Emma nodded, still gazing down the beach at the fledgling couple.

Her phone buzzed, and a message popped up.

"Kai's friend is here," she told Tara. "I need to run up to the top of the stairs to get him."

"Here, let me take your plate."

"Thank you." She stood and waved to Kai, who was building a driftwood fort with his cousins.

"Is Prince here?" he shouted.

"Yep! Want to walk up with me?"

"Coming!" Already running, he shouted back at his cousins, "I'll be right back! Don't steal any pieces from my wall!"

He stumbled and slowed when he reached Emma, and she took his hand in hers. They walked across the sand, speeding to a sprint when it started to burn their feet, and then slowed when they reached the cool, wet pavement by the showers.

"Hey mom?" Kai said as they started up the stairs. "You're my favorite person."

Emotion pricked at Emma's eyes as she smiled down at him.

"Same to you, kiddo."