23. ‘Ōlena

23

‘ōlena

T he sun warmed ‘ōlena's back as she weeded around her baby hibiscus bushes. They were thriving – one had even put out a huge yellow flower – and they would continue to grow at an astonishing rate so long as she didn't let the jungle sneak into her yard and swallow them whole. Hibiscus bushes grew quickly, but tropical weeds were a whole different beast.

"Done!" The screen door swung shut behind Nate as he stepped out onto the lanai.

"Already?" ‘ōlena straightened up to look at him.

Maybe it was a newlywed thing, or just the relief of having him home again, but even after all these years that man could still take her breath away. He had shoulders as broad as a door and a smile as bright as the sun. And he was hers .

"Come see!"

‘ōlena brushed the dirt from her hands and stood, stretching out the ache in her lower back. She followed Nate into the house, and he showed her their new and expanded closet.

Like most closets on the rainy side of the island, this one was open air. There was no door in front of their clothes, because closed spaces were an invitation for mold and mildew. Nate had knocked out one side of the open wardrobe and extended the closet rod to the corner of the room so that there would be room for both of their clothes.

He didn't own much after working for so many years on cruise ships, living in rooms that were smaller than most walk-in closets. Even so, adding a fourth person to the tiny house had been a challenge. With a bit of successful maneuvering, though, the place felt cozy rather than cramped.

Eventually they would build a house above the lychee orchard, but for now ‘ōlena was content to live just down the street from New Horizons; the complete lack of a commute was a blessing in a life that was packed to the gills with community and family commitments.

Then again, a peaceful life up on the hill would be another kind of blessing.

"This is perfect," she told Nate. "Thank you."

He hadn't just extended their closet; he had cleaned up after himself and hung all of their clothes in two neat lines. It seemed to ‘ōlena that most men added to their partners' workload instead of making their lives easier, and she could hardly imagine mothering a grown man on top of taking care of a big group of kids all week long.

"You like it?" Nate stood behind her and rubbed her shoulders. "Should I do the same in the girls' room?"

"They have more than enough closet space. What they need is less dresses."

"Aw, but the dresses make them happy."

"You sound like my mom. She comes by with six more every time she goes to the transfer station."

"What's the harm?"

"There's a pile of laundry in the corner of their room that's bigger than Kiki. I can't keep up."

"You don't have to keep up. They're old enough to do their own laundry."

She sighed and went quiet, letting him massage the tight spot between her shoulder blades.

It was easy to stay stuck in the same routines, doing things for her daughters that they were old enough to do for themselves simply because that was what she had always done. And in the short run, it was the easier choice. Nagging Luana to keep up with the laundry or walking Kiki through the process of putting clothes in to wash took a lot more energy than just grabbing up an armload of discarded dresses and throwing them into the washing machine.

"I'll stay on top of it," Nate promised. "We'll get a system going. Two separate laundry bins, for a start. Then they can each be responsible for their own clothes."

"Sounds good," she agreed. And it did… assuming he would be the one monitoring it. Between her two girls and the community center, there were times that adding even one more small task to her day felt overwhelming.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

"Just tired."

He turned her around so that he could look into her eyes. He was quiet for a moment, looking at her with a loving concern that made her want to cry.

Sometimes she felt like their whirlwind marriage had been too quick. It wasn't that she wasn't sure of her decision, because she was. It was just that there had been no adjustment period, no time to fully get used to the idea of having him around again.

‘ōlena knew that Nate was home for good, but there seemed to be some corner of her heart that was still waiting for the other shoe to drop. Having a true partner, someone who was there beside her day in and day out… sometimes it still felt too good to be true.

"When was the last time you did something for you?" he asked.

"For me?" The question caught her off guard. In a way, it felt like everything she did was for her. Being a mother, running a business, spending time with her parents… those were all things that she truly loved doing. They were the core of her identity. None of it felt selfless, because it was all so fully intertwined with her sense of self.

"Yes, for you. I'm here now. I've got the girls. I can handle the housework. What can you do for you ?"

"For me," she said again. The idea felt foreign.

"Yes, for you," he said, half laughing. "For fun."

"I… really have no idea."

It had been so long since she had even asked herself that question. There were daily things, like making sure she ate enough. There were small indulgences, like a hot bath. But actually going out alone and doing something just because she enjoyed it? Having fun on her own, without the kids?

"I'll have to think about it."

"You do that." He leaned in to kiss her, then straightened up again when a shriek sounded from the backyard.

"Give it back!" Kiki screamed.

"I've got that," Nate said. "You go back to your flowers."

She followed him out of their room and squeezed his hand as he turned towards the back door and she continued to the front.

"Something for me," she murmured as she went back to weeding around the hibiscus bushes.

What would that even look like?