Chapter 25

Chapter Twenty-Five

T he next night passed in much the same fashion, and as the party tonight began to wind to a close, I was nearing the end of my limited patience. Two more parties had now passed since the night in my room, and it was as if I were walking around in a haze. By some miracle, I'd avoided any further mistakes during the parties, but the only clear memories from the ballroom were visions of my hands holding a tray and weaving through bodies, all the while feeling Tallon's gaze on my back.

It worried me, how easily I could forget everything around me when I had his attention. It terrified me, how much I liked having his attention.

The haze only cleared when I stepped into the kitchens after the party was over.

Without the letter tucked in my dress to remind me, I'd been afraid the urgency of getting the treatment would be swept up in the extravagance of the parties and the bustling of trying to remain unseen by the prince, but it hadn't. It had fallen to the back of my mind, but unlike the first nights here, the castle hadn't swallowed up the thoughts entirely.

Perhaps it was good they fell slightly to the back of my mind; it prevented me from making yet another mistake born of impulsive anger.

But now, two parties had passed since Tallon had requested patience. Tonight, during our rendezvous in his rooms, I would ask again. I needed to know what progress he'd made, if he'd delivered the letter, and if he'd learned Rhyon's fate.

As I cleaned up the remaining dishes and set them out to dry, I pondered his responses. I needed to know, but I also feared what would happen if he confirmed what I already suspected and that my youngest brother was dead. Tallon was many things, including intentionally elusive and obnoxiously arrogant, but throughout all our interactions, he did not seem cruel.

"Have a good night," I murmured to the others.

Elena raised her head from where she sat, cleaning up her polishing supplies. "Will he be waiting for you again?"

I hesitated in the doorway. "Who?"

She rolled her eyes. "Don't play stupid. Tallon was waiting for you last night, and the past two nights he has barely taken his eyes off you. We're not fools, Odyssa."

There was no explanation I could give them that would suffice for their curiosity. And more, there was none I wanted to give them. They had not earned my secrets, nor my trust.

Zaharya caught my eye. "Be careful, Odyssa."

I nodded once, turning to escape the room and the uncomfortable stares of Elena and Talyssa. At least Maricara had not been there.

I'd been expecting him to be waiting for me outside the kitchens, as he had last night, to escort me to his rooms, so his presence further down the hall was far from surprising. What had my steps faltering now was that he was not alone against the wall.

My luck had run out, it seemed, as Maricara was with him, her veil gone and barely a sliver of space between them as she looked up at him and twirled a strand of hair around her finger. He said something, too quiet and too far away for me to make out, but whatever it was had her tossing her head back in a laugh and then she was touching him. One hand gripped his forearm and the other pressed against his chest as she leaned in closer and replied.

A flood of emotions washed over me, sending a ringing through my ears as my hands clenched into fists. My face blazed and the urge to run away and cry coiled in my stomach, heavy and sour. Anger and shame, both two emotions I was familiar with.

I had no right to the anger; Tallon could spend his time with whomever he pleased and I had no claim to him.

The shame was a product of my own foolishness, of letting his games mess with my mind and trick me into thinking I was of some import to him.

I was nothing to him. A bargain at best, and a plaything at worst.

Perhaps it was good to see this; perhaps he had intended for me to. After the kiss in his bed, perhaps this was his way of informing me that something like that would not happen again.

I wanted to say that it would never happened again, but I couldn't. I couldn't deny that despite knowing how utterly foolish it was, I'd enjoyed his lips and his body pressed against mine, and that if given the chance, I'd do it again. Consequences for myself be damned.

Consequences for my brothers, on the other hand, was a far different matter.

Regardless, I had no claims to the anger and shame burning through me, and I needed to remember that. The gash in my hand had mostly healed, though by all accounts of my health after the fever had wrought my body, it should still be festering and sore, but yet, it brought clarity when I pushed my thumb into the wound.

Hands behind my back and my thumb digging into my palm as hard as possible, I ventured down the hall.

Maricara leaned back slightly as I approached, her lip curling up in a sneer. Tallon's eyes widened briefly beneath the mask as they met mine, but he made no move to step away from her.

I inclined my head in polite greeting and bit my tongue until I was able to turn the corner at the end of the hall. I wanted to slump against the wall, but Tallon was too close still. Retreating to my room was foolish; Tallon would eventually come looking for me, and the last place I wanted him to be after spending time with her was in my bedroom.

Cold brushed against my ankle. The cat looked up at me, an expression that could only be classed as pity etched in its feline features. I slowed to a stop, feeling the irrational anger begin to rise to the surface once more.

"Don't look at me like that," I hissed. I did not want anyone's pity, least of all that of Tallon's pet Soulshade. "If you want to help, show me to somewhere I can be left alone until he decides he's finished."

The cat blinked at me, and then offered the equivalent of a shrug that no normal cat could have done. I fell into step behind it easily, letting it guide me through the halls. Tallon's games were a mystery to me, and while I wanted to believe the moment I'd interrupted tonight was one of Maricara's machinations to remind me of my place among them, I could not dismiss that it was one of Tallon's either.

Chewing on my lip, I hardly looked to see where the cat was taking me, and that blind trust startled me out of my thoughts. I was following a Soulshade cat through a castle that had previously proven detrimental to my health and safety, and I had no problems with doing so.

The cat looked back over its shoulder at me, slowing.

If it had wanted to hurt me, it would have done so long before now, I reasoned. This cat had been the only creature that consistently offered comfort and support, and I selfishly didn't want it to leave me. Wrong and grotesque as it was, it was the only friend I had here, and the only friend I'd had anywhere in a very long time.

I shook my head. "I'm fine. Continue."

We resumed our trek through the castle, stopping at a familiar set of doors. The library. I smiled slightly as I pushed open the doors. I hadn't known where it was going to take me, but as I inhaled the weathered parchment and old leather, I was glad the cat had chosen here.

"Thank you," I whispered as I closed the doors behind me. It curled around my ankle in response before leaving to hop up on the bench in the large window bay.

It felt wrong, being here in this exuberantly stocked library, but I would relish what little comforts I could find in this place. Still, I refrained from pulling any books down from the shelves, though I desperately wanted to. I'd not been able to read for my own enjoyment in years, since I'd been a child. But these were not my books, and given the way the walls held their secrets, I would be remiss to assume the library was benign.

I settled into the window seat with the cat, looking out over the rest of the castle and the rooftops of the city beyond. The sun hadn't fully risen yet, and the morning was still in that sleepy, quiet time when not even the birds would be awake—if there were birds remaining in Veressia, that was. In another life, one not smothered by red mist, it would have been peaceful. Now, it was solemn.

The sun had finally shown its face between the valley and the far expanses of the mountains when the doors to the library slowly creaked open. I held my breath as I stared at the door, waiting to see who would enter. I hoped it was Tallon, because if it was anyone else, I would be dead before the sun rose over the mountain peaks.

My shoulders slumped as his face appeared in the crack between the doors. He still had his mask on, but I could see the odd look on his face and knew the pinch of his brow had formed to accompany the frown. He jerked his head towards the hall, an instruction for me to follow.

Despite the irritation that prickled at the command, I followed him out of the library. Our journey to his room was silent, save the sound of our steps against the stone. I hated the silence, yet could not bring myself to break it. Every word that passed through my mind was still tinged in either red or green, and I feared what response it would evoke.

Once in his room, I watched from just inside while he closed the door tightly behind us, carefully hung up his coat on the hook beside the entryway, and pulled off the mask, adding it to the hook beside the coat. He'd still not uttered a single noise as he stepped up in front of me and took my injured hand, pulling it palm up and examining it.

"Good, the salve worked well," he said, more to himself than to me as he dropped my hand. He raised his gaze from my palm. "Your stitches are ready to be removed."

I bit my tongue as he pulled me to the chairs in front of the fire. I wanted to scream at him, about both my brothers and Maricara. More, I didn't want to have to scream at him. I wanted him to find them both important enough to address on his own.

We remained silent as he carefully cut and removed the sutures in my hand. I kept my eyes on my lap or on the cat that had settled by the fire as if it could still feel the warmth. Anything to avoid where his hands held my own.

Finished, he settled back in his chair with a sigh, crossing his hands over his stomach. The frown was still firmly on his lips, and something that almost looked like hurt had settled into the lines of his face. "I expected you to have said something by now."

He was upset I had not reacted to his little game the way he'd intended, and it only made it easier to feign the indifference I so desperately wanted to be a reality. "What is there to say? You are your own person, and one of high status at that. You can do whatever you please. I have no say over you, my lord."

"Why do you call me that now? I'm not wearing my mask," he said, frown somehow deepening.

I raised an eyebrow. "Are you not? You are playing your games still, both now and in the hallway with her."

He leaned forward abruptly, resting his forearms on his thighs. The intensity in his eyes as he studied me made me want to fidget, but I held still. "Were you jealous of her, Odyssa?"

"I have no claim to you and no authority over who you give your affections to." The storm clouds that swirled in his eyes told me I'd not kept my voice as indifferent as I'd hoped.

"You are jealous," he breathed. In a blur, he was on his feet, hands resting on the armrests of my chair and leaning over me, caging me in. "Good."

Both eyebrows raised at that, and I did not swallow back the indignation. " Good? "

"Yes," he said, leaning down closer to me, his hands tightening on the armrests and making the leather creak. "I wanted you to be jealous. It infuriated me that you seemed so unaffected, that you walked past without a word or even a glimmer of emotion on your face."

"Did you plan that?" I snarled. "If you wanted to play your games, I'd prefer you do it with someone I don't have to work with every single day."

"I am not playing a game with you." His head tilted and the silence thrummed with unresolved energy. "And I certainly did not plan that. I don't even know that woman's name, Odyssa."

"I hardly think her name matters in this instance," I replied. "If you did not plan that, did she?"

"Why would she plan that?" He raised an eyebrow. "Had anyone but you seen her, she likely would have been punished. Especially given I did push her away after you passed."

I said nothing at first. Maricara had made it clear she did not like me, and she had made equally clear she would do nothing to jeopardize her own life in this place. It did not fit, that she would do this simply to get a rise out of me when she could have gotten in trouble for it. She had wanted something from him, and he had not given it to her. "What did she ask you for?"

He frowned. "Nothing." Understanding dawned upon his face. "She'd only just approached when you passed, Odyssa."

"What did you say to her to make her laugh, then?" I knew the jealousy was leaking into my voice, yet I could do nothing to stop it. The claim I felt over him was unwarranted, I knew, but despite that, he was mine, and after all the warnings the others had given me about him, they could not change their minds when they decided that perhaps he did appeal to them after all.

"Nothing that should have gotten that much of a reaction from her, I swear it." He reached out a hand to rest on my thigh.

I hummed, still trying to puzzle out what either could gain from the interaction besides my jealousy. Was that what Maricara had been looking for? Or was she after something else?

The leather creaked again as he bent his elbows, bringing his nose to brush against mine. His voice was throaty as he whispered, "I did not plan it, though I cannot deny I was curious as to how you'd react once you appeared in the hall. It disappointed me, I admit."

"Oh?"

"I wanted you to be furious, to tear her apart for touching me." His breath ghosted over my lips and I struggled to keep my eyes from fluttering shut. "I wanted you to pull her away."

I shifted in the chair, clenching my thighs together at the heat that spread through my body at his voice. It was a miracle my own voice was not breathless. "You were perfectly capable of removing her hand from your body if you did not want it there. The fact you did not until after I had already passed by is indication enough that you did want it there, for whatever reason." I shifted up, until our lips brushed when I spoke. "I told you I wanted no part of your games, Tallon."

Before I could take a breath, he was hauling me to my feet and had one hand around my waist holding me against him. "Odyssa, I?—"

Whatever he'd been about to say was interrupted by a knock at the door. "Tallon, are you in there?" Prince Eadric's voice called out from the hallway.

Both of us flinched, jumping apart. My eyes widened as the haze of Tallon faded and I realized my reality. The prince was here, and I was here, where I absolutely should not be. Tallon looked over at the cat, who had perked up as well at the intrusion. "Take her through the closet. Get her to her rooms and keep her safe."

It jumped to its feet, brushing up against my calf as it led me to a smaller door along the wall. I followed, keeping my eyes firmly on the cat and not looking back at Tallon. I reached to open the door the cat stopped in front of, but Tallon was behind me, reaching around to open it first. Closing my eyes for just a moment, I took a deep breath before stepping forward.

"Wait," he murmured, taking hold of my wrist and turning me around. His other hand came up to cup my cheek. For a moment, I thought he might kiss me again, but the playfulness and the heat in his eyes from earlier was gone, replaced only by a look of worry that made my stomach churn. "Be safe, Odyssa. I will meet you in your rooms when I'm finished."

He hesitated for a heartbeat and then surged forward to plant a quick yet scorching kiss on my lips before he pushed me into the closet before I could reply, closing the door behind me and plunging me into darkness.