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Chapter 23

Chapter Twenty-Three

M y sixth night in the castle, the ballroom had been transformed into a vision of deep, warm blues and rich violets. It was beautiful, enchanting even, but my mind was elsewhere, back in that room beneath Tallon. His half-mask was black tonight, as was the rest of his attire, yet all I could see when I looked at him were the sprawling marks I knew lay beneath his shirt.

I again felt him watching me, but studiously avoided him. The letter to Emyl was once again tucked into my dress, my reminder of what was at stake and why I could not let myself fall prey to such fantasies. Tallon was first and foremost the prince's right hand, and despite seeming to want to help me, I knew there was more at stake. Hours ago, when I agreed to his bargain, I just hadn't cared.

Now that the energy from the nightmare, and then from the kiss, had worn off, my mind was clearer, and it was telling me that though I had little left to lose, there was always something left for Tallon to take. My life.

The party was quickly in full swing, the music and the dancing for once a welcome distraction. Weaving between the bodies and avoiding bumping into anyone kept my mind off other things, and so I threw myself into it. I was a frantic whirlwind about the ballroom, refilling drinks and plates as fast as they were emptied.

I had thrown myself into my work before, losing myself to the task and the instruction and tuning out everything else. Before, it had always been a welcome distraction, but this time was different, and here in the castle, I had to keep some awareness. That was the only reason I noticed the strands of conversation that cut through the music and made their way over to me as I laid out fresh treats along the table.

Looking up briefly, I immediately fixed my gaze back on the table once I realized that the speakers tucked behind a nearby column were Prince Eadric and Tallon. I continued my duties, only daring to lift my eyes infrequently and never my head. My hands shook slightly, but beneath the gloves and the veil, I could only hope it wasn't enough for either of them to notice. The task was most important, and I set out each pastry with care, slowly and methodically.

"…is happening with you?" Prince Eadric poked his finger into Tallon's chest. "You are not holding up…bargain."

"My bargain…your father."

"People…restless. The death rate…falling. This is not…you promised."

"Would you like… kill everyone, then?"

My blood ran cold, hands freezing as they hovered to set out a pastry. The violins roared as the song crescendoed and startled me back out of my stillness. As the music softened, I caught the prince's reply.

"No…do your job." The prince was silent for a moment and his empty glass landed heavily on the table. "And you need to deal with…excuse for a servant. I will not…embarrass me again."

"Understood."

I wanted to vomit. Surely I'd missed vital pieces of the conversation, because from what I had heard, Tallon had some type of sway over the blood plague. Certainly it was impossible, but the irritation of the still-healing wound in my hand raised my doubts.

The servant he discussed was me, no doubt, as I was the only one that had come near embarrassing him in recent days, and while I was sure the prince and I had far different ideas of what it meant to deal with me, I wasn't confident where Tallon fell between the two. I didn't want to find out either. Our bargain was for the treatment for my brothers, not for my own safety.

Shuffled movements indicated the conversation was over and I ducked my head as the prince bustled past me, focusing on setting out the food and pretending with every ounce of my body that I had not overheard their conversation. Thankfully, he paid me no mind.

Tallon followed behind, and unlike the prince, he hesitated momentarily when he saw me, his steps faltering. He recovered quickly, though, offering me a small nod I did not return before he followed after the prince.

Hands shaking, I finished my task and then hastily but carefully retreated to the kitchens for a reprieve.

The kitchen was not the calm place to settle my mind like I'd hoped, though it did offer a distraction nonetheless in the form of Maricara and Elena pouring glasses of wine and trading whispered words between not-so-subtle glances at me. Focusing on them took my mind off Tallon and his conversation with the prince, even momentarily. My hands no longer shook and my breath returned in full, no longer catching in my throat.

I would not let myself consider the conversation, not until after the party was over and I was safely back in my room. Another public mistake would be the nail in my coffin, and I doubted Tallon would be able to save me this time, even if he wanted to.

Once again, I'd fallen victim to his games, believing the lies he whispered and believing myself smart enough to ignore the warnings Zaharya had so adamantly given.

I was nothing but foolish and naive, and now I would pay for it. The tray piled high with food once more, I held my chin high, ignored the whispers of Maricara and Elena, and returned to the ballroom.

For the first time in my life, whatever gods were left in Veressia had listened to my unspoken prayers and I had no opportunity to consider my predicament for the remainder of the party, too busy serving those Prince Eadric saw value in and ensuring I did not humiliate myself again.

Though there was no time to linger on what it meant, I also did not miss that Tallon had been following me whenever I was in the ballroom. His gaze felt different on my back than that of the revelers: they looked through me, only seeing a servant here to bend to their every whim, whereas he was looking at me, peering through my midnight violet shroud and looking at the person beneath.

And if he was not watching me, the Soulshade cat was by my side. In a way, I was grateful for the latter, as it seemed to drive away any other Soulshades. Its company was welcome, despite knowing that it served Tallon.

The bells tolled three hours past midnight, and the guests slowly began to disperse. Finally, as the early hours of the morning saw the crimson night begin to lighten, the ballroom was empty of all but the servants. My shoulders ached from the tension I'd carried there all evening, brought on by both my attempts to not make any more mistakes and my building apprehension over the bargain I'd made with Tallon.

Though I had no firm ideas yet, I knew that if Tallon was going to betray me to the prince, I needed to find the treatment first. He could have already told him, and the two were biding their time. Far more likely, though, was the notion that Tallon was playing another game, that my plans would be safe so long as I played along. But I had no time for games, and I needed that treatment. I would simply need to be more careful when trying to gain access to Prince Eadric's rooms.

Tallon would not be the reason I failed my family.

The ballroom was quiet as we cleaned and thankfully, I'd been assigned to work alone. The others were nearby, and despite their best efforts to the contrary, I knew they were watching me, waiting for another outburst like before, waiting for me to slip up and give them reason to have Camelya get rid of me. They bothered me, their stares, but I'd come to accept them. There was nothing I could do, and acknowledging that they bothered me would likely only make them stare more obviously.

Cold curled around my ankle, and I briefly glanced down at the Soulshade cat at my side. It looked up at me, seemingly telling me that it would keep me safe tonight. I wasn't sure how I knew that's what its slow blink and head tilt meant, but I felt it in my heart. I wouldn't question it; far stranger things had happened in this castle.

As I swept up the scattered crumbs, I felt Tallon watching from the balcony again, and my shoulders tensed up once more under his gaze. Before I realized my mistake, I looked up at him. It was only a moment, enough to see that it was him and that he still wore his mask, his hands clasped behind his back as he surveyed the ballroom from his perch. He looked more a prince than Prince Eadric could ever hope to.

I vowed not to look up at him again and returned my focus to the floor, though out of the periphery, Maricara had paused and tracked my attention. Now, I felt two gazes on me, and one was filled with far more malevolence than the other.

A mistake. Not a public one, at least, but a mistake, nonetheless. Maricara knew Tallon was watching us, watching me , and I found it difficult to tell myself that she would let it go without remark. No, from the renewed frequency of the glances, I knew this would not be forgotten.

I sighed, clenching and unclenching my fingers around the handle of the broom. I wanted to be left alone , to work and sleep and find the treatment and get out. But we hardly ever got we wanted, and given how we all came to be here, I doubted I ever would again.

The sun was half-risen by the time I left the kitchens, the cat still a welcome fixture at my side. Tallon was nowhere to be seen, and for a blissful moment, I thought I would have a reprieve. The moment was short-lived, though, as I turned the corner to get to my room and there he was, leaning against the wall beside my bedroom door.

He was a picture of entitlement, a careless slouch in his body as his shoulder rested against the stone and his legs kicked out for balance. The mask was still affixed to his face, and though he'd lost his coat, he was still far more elegant than I.

My steps faltered but I quickly resumed them, holding my chin high as I tugged the key from my dress and unlocked the door. I knew it would not be this easy, and though I anticipated it, the hand that shot out to wrap around my bicep startled me. I froze as he bent his head, refusing to turn to look at him.

"I know you were listening to my conversation with Prince Eadric tonight, little wolf," he murmured, his lips brushing my hair. "What do you think you heard?"

"I would never deign to eavesdrop on the prince, my lord." My voice was colder than the cat curled against my leg. "If you don't mind, I am tired and need to rest."

"I do mind. We have a bargain." His fingers flexing was my only warning before he had me pressed between him and my door, one hand still holding my arm and the other resting beside my head on the door as he loomed over me.

Narrowing my eyes, I raised my chin. Whether he'd hoped to intimidate me or distract me, I had my eyes wide open and my mind clear, and I would not let him win this round of the demented game he played. His mask was still on, an intentional choice on his part given that he'd already shed his coat. "Do we, my lord?"

The emotions that flittered across his face were dulled by the mask, but I could see clearly the way his jaw flexed as he ground his teeth together. He lowered his head until his lips were level with my ear. "You choose, little wolf: your room or mine. We will not be having this conversation in the hall, but we will be having it."

I bit my tongue to keep silent. Neither option was pleasing, and I was feeling less than accommodating for the man who had been lying to me at every turn, it seemed. Groping behind me, I grasped my hand around the door handle, using the surprise of it falling open behind me to escape his grip.

I turned and rushed inside, intent on slamming the door in his face, but he was too quick, and shoved his boot between the door and the frame, wedging it open.

It was hardly an effort for him to overpower me and push the door open, closing it firmly behind him.

"That was rude."

"You deserved it."

"Likely." He stepped around me and made himself comfortable on my bed, stretching out and propping himself up with a relaxed arm behind his head. He still wore the mask.

I stood in the doorway, only able to bring myself to watch him. He looked wrong on my bed, but I remembered what he had looked like on his own bed, in nearly the same position, and that had felt all too right. I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth, chewing on it. If he had anything to do with the plague, with the deaths of my family and so many in Veressia, I wasn't sure what my reaction would be. I wasn't sure I wanted to know.

"Ask me, Odyssa."

"Ask you what?"

He sat up, reaching behind his head in the same movement to remove the mask and let it fall into the blankets. "Ask me what you have been dying to ask me since you heard the pieces of our conversation. I have felt your outrage, your pain, and your confusion all night each time your eyes landed upon me. So ask me. I'll only give this one chance."

The letter to Emyl burned against my breast. The feeling of Tallon's lips against mine and his hand in my hair burned in my memory. I'd already failed my mother, and likely failed Rhyon as well, and if I learned without a doubt that Tallon had a hand in their deaths, a hand in my own sickness, I feared what I might do.

I was already spiraling, losing myself inside this castle with each passing night. Distinguishing what was real and what my mind was fabricating was increasingly difficult, especially when each night was plagued by nightmares, and each day was plagued by Soulshades and mysterious castles and lies from everyone around me.

The doubt was enough to hold the shame at bay, to keep from wanting to scrub my skin raw at the thought that he had killed my family and then touched me. The doubt was enough to give spark to the hope that I had misheard and that the way he looked at me now, without the mask on and his gray eyes bright and swirling, was the truth and not another manipulation I'd readily fallen victim to.

No, I could not ask what I wanted. I could not bear to hear the truth. "I have no question for you, Tallon."

His lips curved into a slow smile, like I'd passed some sort of test and he was pleasantly surprised. With a dramatic flourish, he fell back and settled into my bedding. "Pretty lies, little wolf, but so be it."

"Would you have answered?" I blurted. "If I had asked, would you have answered?"

"Why don't you find out for yourself?"

I squared my shoulders, an anxious sweat gathering at the nape of my neck. "What were you and Prince Eadric discussing tonight at the party?"

"You can do better than that," he said, clasping his hands behind his head as he still lay sprawled across my bed. "We discussed many things tonight. The way you ask the question is just as important as the answer, perhaps more so. You can do better. Ask me again."

"When I could overhear you, you mentioned his father, and me, and a bargain. What were you and the prince discussing then?"

He hummed as he rolled over onto his side, propping his head up on his fist. The other hand patted the empty space beside him. "That's better. You must be intentional with your words, little wolf. Especially in a place like this."

I did not move toward the bed.

A sigh so heavy it fluttered the sheets left his lips. "The prince and I have a bargain, one he inherited from his father. He believes I'm not holding up my side of it. I reminded him that the specifics of the bargain were left ambiguous at best, and I am in fact keeping to it."

"And what he said about me?" I pushed, tucking away that information for later. Tallon had made a bargain with the king, with the prince, and now with me. And he seemed bound to uphold them more by magic than by being a man of his word.

"Ah, now that one, I will not answer," he said with a smile. "Not yet."

Of course not.

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