Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

T he taste of metal flooded my mouth, hot rivers of blood running down from my nose. It was thick and coated my throat, cutting off my air. I coughed, struggling to sit up and clear my airways, but my arms gave out as blood flew from my lips and I felt the spatter land on my cheeks and neck. The blood continued with no reprieve and the coughing quickly turned to gagging. I couldn't breathe, couldn't swallow.

My mother's hands ran along my shoulders, helping me struggle up to sitting, all the while I still coughed and gagged and choked on the blood filling my mouth and throat.

"Shh, shh, Odyssa," she murmured, rubbing her hands along my back. "Don't fight it."

I couldn't have fought it even if I wanted to. Blood continued to pour down my throat, and then the panic began to set in. I could not breathe. My hands tightened on the scratchy quilt, one managing to reach up and claw at my throat, grasping and squeezing as if it would clear the thick fluid from my airways.

My stomach felt hot, twisted and wrong, and my mother barely had time to dart out of the way before I was retching, vomiting up the blood I'd swallowed.

Everything burned; my eyes and my throat most of all. Blinking back the tears brought by the violent expulsion, I kept one hand on my throat and the other reached for my mother, for any comfort.

Her hand grasped mine. "I am here, Odyssa. You are a fighter, dear girl, but you need to make a choice. You cannot keep lingering here in the in-between; your brothers need me to return to them."

My mind swam, vision dotted by dancing black orbs. What did she mean? I shook my head, trying to clear out the bloody haze and think. A cold rag swiped across my forehead and then the rest of my face.

The cold left and my mother's hand returned. "Live or die. You must decide soon."

My entire body trembled. Die , I tried to speak, but only garbled noises came out, blood still coating my throat and clinging to my teeth and tongue. I wanted to die, to end this suffering.

At the foot of my bed, peering back at me with yellow eyes, a black cat sat atop my blankets. All at once, I was on the ceiling, looking down at my body in the bed, the cat at my feet and my mother at my side.

The cat looked up at me and tipped its head, opening its mouth, but the voice that came out of it was that of a man, old and weathered, but distinguished and elegant, like a vintage silk. "You cannot die, Odyssa. It is not in your nature."

Blood poured from my nose anew. The cat blinked at me.

My vision blurred and when it cleared, I was no longer in my room, no longer choking on my own blood, though still-wet blood covered my chin and neck, dripping down onto my nightgown. Surrounding me were towering black cliffs overlooking churning red waters.

Ice-cold wind whipped around me, whistling through my hair.

The ground beneath my bare feet was frigid and rocks dug into the soles. I did not wince as I took cautious steps forward, searching for any clue as to where I was or why I was here.

"Odyssa."

I spun, only to find myself face-to-face with Rhyon, but not the Rhyon I'd left behind. This Rhyon looked like me, with blood covering his face and neck, staining his shirt crimson. His skin was too pale and his eyes dull and lifeless. "Rhyon," I breathed. "I am so sorry."

"You let me die, Odyssa," he said, taking a large step towards me. With each step he took, I retreated, my heart thundering wildly at the look of rage upon his face. "It is your fault I am dead."

"No, no," I said, shaking my head and holding my hands out toward him. "Rhyon, no, I would never."

"You let me die. You let me die. You let me die."

My feet scrambled against the rocks, finding no purchase of ground beneath as I stumbled back. I looked behind me, only to see the edge of the towering cliff and rocks from my feet tumbling down into the river of blood below. Frantically, I turned back to Rhyon, who was still advancing. "What are you doing? Please, stop this."

"You let me die. You let me die. You let me die." He stopped abruptly, right in front of me.

His little hands stretched out, and he pushed at my stomach hard with a strength he should not have had.

Time slowed, and then I was falling, looking up at him as he peered over the edge of the cliff. I heard a scream whistling on the wind as I fell, realizing it was my own.

I hit the water.

I was still screaming when I awoke, my chest heaving and cold sweat drenching my neck and back. My hand went to my throat as I tried to pull myself out of the nightmare's grasp. In my periphery, shadows danced in the night, a darker than black darkness in the room. Fingers grazed my side.

Blinking rapidly, I saw my Death marks alive again, pulsing out from my body and peeling away from my skin where they were holding Tallon down against the bed, the tendrils wrapped around his chest and the arm that was reaching for me.

He was watching me, a careful expression on his face. Unlike the others who'd witnessed my marks, he wasn't looking at them. His eyes never flitted nervously to the sides or down to where they encased his chest and arms. His eyes stayed fixed on my face, steady and sure. That, more than anything, pulled me back into reality.

The nightmare haze slowly cleared from my eyes and I realized what was happening, what I was doing to him. Horror gripped me and I scrambled out of the bed, doubling over and gasping for breath as the shadows retreated onto my skin.

"Odyssa, breathe," he said, his voice rough from sleep. The sheets rustled as he finally moved. "I am fine, little wolf. You didn't hurt me."

The nightmare still left me reeling and my breath eluded me. I shook my head, trying to clear the visions of the icy hellscape, the taste of my own blood, the cold apathy on Rhyon's face as his hands pushed me over that cliff. It was all too much.

Hands wrapped around my waist and I couldn't stop the startled noise, but as soon as I started to struggle, the touch became familiar again, warm and strong. The curtains were still pulled tightly, leaving us only a sliver of light to see by. I didn't struggle as he hauled me onto the bed, keeping my eyes focused on the skin showing at his wrists, studying the marks there as I tried to slow my breathing. But it didn't work, and I could feel my chest tightening, my vision swimming as I fought against the lingering effects of the nightmare.

"Come here, Odyssa," he murmured. He shifted us again, and then I was sitting between his legs against the headboard with my back to his chest and his hands wrapped around my ribs, his hands so large they nearly circled the entire way around my torso. "Breathe with me. In and out. Come on now, little wolf; match my breathing. You can do it. You need to breathe."

It was a struggle to focus enough to even find his breathing to match, but his hands squeezing gently at my sides on each inhale finally guided me to it.

Slowly, my heart no longer felt like it might burst from my chest, but the fading of the feelings the nightmares had left behind were only replaced by the overwhelming warmth at my back as I realized exactly how close Tallon and I were. There was no space between my back and his front, and his legs bracketed my own, his hands consuming my torso and thumbs brushing against the undersides of my breasts.

My tongue felt like it was stuck to the top of my mouth, and no amount of swallowing could take the dryness away. Every minute shift of Tallon behind me had me tensing, not wanting to move. I needed to get up, get away from him. This was worse than merely being seen with him or the others knowing he had bandaged my hand. I should not have stayed here, should not have let my walls down enough to fall asleep in his room, let alone his bed.

Prince Eadric's right hand, whether he wore his mask or not.

Whatever calm I'd found as the last threads of the nightmare left was gone now, and my heart pounded against my chest, picking up speed.

"How long have you been able to do that?" he murmured against my ear. His hands squeezed at my ribs, feeling me hold my breath. "Breathe, Odyssa."

I sucked in another breath, trying to keep still yet also pull my body away from his. "Only since I've been in the castle."

"The night you received the letter," he said, his hands shifting against my sides, sending shivers down my spine. Whatever progress I'd made in extricating myself from him was undone as he adjusted and pulled me somehow even closer than I'd been before. "Was that the first time they swarmed like that?"

I squeezed my eyes closed, trying not to give too much thought to how right he felt at my back. I desperately needed to get myself back under control. It had been a nightmare, and while they were horrific and left me shaking for hours, it was hardly new. I did not need the comfort he offered, but I couldn't bring myself to refuse and move away from him. "No. There was once before. The second night here."

"What happened?" His voice was softer than I'd ever heard it, and if I wasn't able to see the skull mask on the floor, caught in the path of the sliver of light the curtains let in, I might have believed it tender. One of his hands moved from my ribs to settle on my thigh, not moving, just… there.

It made it hard to concentrate.

"What happened, Odyssa? Why did they come out?" he prodded.

I swallowed hard, forcing myself to keep my eyes on the mask instead of how right his hand looked atop my dress. "One of the others, she tried to strike me. They stopped her."

I felt when he stopped breathing, his fingers digging into my thigh. His voice didn't rise, or even change really, but there was a hardness that hadn't been there before when he asked, "Who?"

"It does not matter." And it didn't, not really. We were all trying to survive here, and I could not fault Maricara for her feelings.

"It does matter."

We sat in silence for a time, breathing together. His hand relaxed against my leg, finger by finger. I tried to ignore that I had liked feeling the strength beneath his fingertips as they'd pressed into my skin. Instead, I focused on keeping my breathing even, aware that if I could sense the change in his, he could do the same with mine.

His voice broke the silence a few moments later. "What are your nightmares about, little wolf?"

A slow inhale and exhale gave me time to gather my thoughts. "Most often, they are memories from my sickness. Flashes of myself when I was feverish or the hallucinations it brought." I shook my head. "I don't always remember the details, only the feelings."

He froze behind me, a statue rather than a man, and then he was gently pushing me forward and climbing out of the bed. My back was cold in his absence, and I tried to not think about the frown that had formed without my permission. Shifting back, I pressed into the lingering warmth on the pillows against the headboard and squinted at him as he drew the curtains back and let the early afternoon sun into the room.

The sun cut across him, the dark fabric of his shirt soaking up the light. His eyes stayed firmly on me as he undid the buttons on the cuffs of the shirt and then moved to the one at his neck. My breath hitched in my throat at each button he slipped through the hole and revealed inch by inch of dark ink and tan skin. Neither of us uttered a sound as he finally slipped the shirt from his shoulders, the silk falling to the floor with a whisper.

If our marks were signals of how close we'd come to death, then Tallon had come within a breath. The inky black swirls covered both of his arms from shoulder to wrist and cascaded over his chest and stomach before dipping into his waistband. His marks did not creep up onto his neck like mine did, but instead twisted like a necklace around his collarbones and spilled over onto his back.

"There is nothing you can say that will shock me, little wolf." His voice had lost some of the rough sleep quality, but it was still heavy and deep. He did not move out of the sliver of sunlight that cut through the room, instead letting me look my fill while watching me with the same intensity. The air in the room was charged, though with what, I couldn't describe. It was like a force drawing us together, wanting me to get up and go to him. His thigh twitched beneath the tight fabric of his pants and I knew he was struggling with the same.

It was a self-imposed torture to keep looking at his torso. I wanted to trace the lines of his marks with my fingers, and the temptation was too great. Pulling my gaze to meet his, I realized looking at his face wouldn't be any better. There was no teasing in his eyes, no hint of the arrogance or the soft mockery that typically accompanied him. Just a vulnerability and a concern that looked both out of place and uncomfortable. For both of us.

Sighing, I moved until I was lying flat on my back, hands folded on my stomach and staring up at the ceiling. I doubted I'd be able to tell him about my nightmares if he kept looking at me like that—or if he kept his shirt off.

"Ever since I recovered, I've had nightmares of this place. A dark and cold place, filled with horrible creatures and screaming and rivers of blood that carve through towering cliffs. I can never escape, and the nightmares always end with me falling or drowning, or some other horrid end." I took a deep breath that shuddered at the last second. "Recently, my youngest brother has been appearing in those nightmares, in that place. He is now the one trying to kill me in my dreams, and he enjoys it, enjoys telling me how I failed him and let him die. Reminds me that I let my mother die. Warns me that I will be the cause of Emyl's death, too, and be the reason our entire family is dead."

The bed dipped slowly beside me, and despite feeling the heat radiating from Tallon's body, I kept my gaze fixed on the ceiling. The tears burning at the back of my throat would surely spill if I caught him looking at me with pity.

"Go on," he murmured.

I wiped furiously at my nose, trying to chase away the stinging. "Tonight was the same. My youngest brother tried to kill me in that place, and twice he reminded me of what I had done to my family. And then it was a memory of what it felt like to choke on my own blood. What it felt like to suffocate and cough up blood and not know if I was going to die but wishing I would so it would just be over. Then it was like Rhyon was controlling that memory because we were back in that place, and he told me it was my fault he would die the same way. That Emyl would die the same way. He tried to choke me that time." I let out a heavy breath, one that did not shake or catch in my throat this time. "And then I woke up screaming and my marks pinning you to the bed."

The room was still and quiet while my words settled down over both of us. I wanted to take them back, to grab them from where they hung in the air and swallow them down, but they would not disappear. I'd told him my greatest fears, and now I had to accept the consequences and hope that he was not using this as part of the games he played.

I did not feel the bed move again until it was too late, too lost in my own regret and embarrassment to notice until Tallon's hands were on either side of my head and his body was hovering over mine. The muscles in his arms bulged as he kept his weight off me in an easy and steady show of strength that did not shake against the unsteadiness of the soft mattress. I held my breath as he lowered, bending his arms at the elbows until only a breath kept us apart.

My eyes fluttered shut as he ducked his head to run his nose along my jaw line. There was no doubt he could feel my pulse racing against his lips as they pressed gently to my neck, just above the wounds Rhyon had left in my nightmares. Once, twice, he kissed the skin there before traveling up to my ear.

I felt like I was floating and drowning at the same time, my body too awash in the sensations to tell up from down. I wanted to shove him away and pull him closer all at once, to run out of the room screaming at myself for being so foolish to fall for whatever game this surely was, but also to hook my leg around his foot and knock him off balance just to feel his body pressing mine into the bed. I wanted it all and hated it at the same time. Hated myself.

I kept my eyes closed and tried to keep any expression at all from settling onto my face.

His breath puffed against my ear, and though they were not pressed so firmly against my skin anymore, I still felt his lips curve up into a smirk. "I would like to make you a bargain, Odyssa Duhiva. Would you take it?"

My eyes flew open to see Tallon looking down at me. His face was still open, earnest, but his eyes were dark. "I—" My voice cracked from my mouth being so dry. Licking my lips, I watched his eyes follow every movement, somehow darkening even more. His own tongue darted out to lick his lips in response. "How can I trust you?"

Some of the darkness cleared from his eyes and that smirk was back. I wanted to shift under the intensity of his gaze, but I was also petrified of the same, of what would happen if I brought any sort of attention to the rest of my body beneath his. "You shouldn't trust me, little wolf. But that does not mean we cannot make a bargain all the same."

Any doubt I had that Tallon was a normal man vanished. A normal man would have been trembling from holding himself up for so long, and yet he had not even a hint of discomfort on his face. He also had no hint of trickery, no hint of the mocking smirk he wore in the ballroom. "What is the bargain?"

"I will help you get the treatment from the prince for your brother."

I held my breath.

"In exchange, you'll spend an hour with me here in my rooms each day."

I opened my mouth to accept eagerly. There was nothing he could ask of me in that hour he wanted that I would not give, but he shifted his weight to hold himself up on one hand as he pressed a finger to my lips. "Ah, not yet. I also want a favor from you in the future. One favor of my choosing, to call in whenever I see fit."

I let out the breath and he moved his hand from my lips. "I have nothing left to lose. I accept your bargain, Tallon."

The chuckle that rumbled from his chest was dark and heavy and it made heat curl low in my stomach. "Odyssa, there is always something left to lose."

He looked at me a moment longer, and then the hand that had pressed a finger to my lips was tangled in my hair, and lifting my head to meet his and he pressed his lips to mine. A gentle kiss and short, by all accounts, but the touch lingered, his breath mixing with mine as I fought to keep from pressing my thighs together to combat the heat building.

I wanted more, and he seemed to know it too. His hand wove deeper into my hair, and the next kiss was firmer, his mouth hot and open against mine and his tongue peeking out to run over my lips in a whisper of a promise. I couldn't stop the groan that bubbled up at the touch, my breath falling into his open mouth as our lips moved in tandem.

My skin felt like it was on fire, and his hand tightened against the roots of my hair, tugging gently as he tipped my head back, exposing my throat. His mouth left mine for a moment to kiss along my jaw line, but it returned immediately, pressing one more kiss against my lips, slow and deep.

Pulling away, I was pleased to see his chest rising and falling as rapidly as my own, both of us affected. My lips tingled and I wanted to press my hand against them to see if it was in my head or if they truly were as flushed and swollen as I thought. The kisses he'd pressed to my jaw left a path of flames that still burned even though he was no longer touching me.

He fell to his side, propping his head up on his fist as he looked down at me, the arrogant smirk falling back into place as though it'd never left. "It's a bargain, then."

The hairs on the back of my neck prickled and cold washed down my spine, dousing out the arousal that Tallon had foisted upon me with that kiss. Gods, what had I done?