Chapter 9

9

“ H ow you feeling?” Qamar balanced his phone on his shoulders while he searched the closet for something to throw on. He had to be at the private airstrip in less than an hour.

“Ready for her to come out. I kinda regret not having a baby shower. You think we should’ve?” Janay inquired out of breath. She was nearing her due date and her bundle of joy made sure to remind her of it by sucking all the life out of her.

“That’s your call. You know she gone be straight regardless.”

“I miss you. I miss us, Qamar. I think you should really give us a chance.” Janay didn’t care about coming off as desperate. She grew up in a two-parent household and wanted the same for her daughter.

When Janay admitted to wanting more than a coparent relationship from him, he never knew how to respond. Qamar prided himself on treating women the way he wanted men to treat his sisters and since he was a girl dad, he made sure to show them by example, but it was more difficult to be the nice guy and take the high road. He didn’t want Janay like that—would’ve told her to abort the baby if it didn’t feel so horrible saying it out loud. Now, there they were young and trying to figure out a life only one of them seemed to want.

He tried to find the best words to divert the conversation away from the whole family thing but his words were alluding him. “All you need to be focused on is having a healthy baby.”

“I am… I can do both, Qamar. I’m just saying we’re compatible. I come from a nice middle-class family. You family loves me and I love Esmeray. We could really work,” Janay tried laying it on thick. “I mean, you ain’t really give me a chance.”

“Janay,” Qamar spoke exhaustedly, tired of the same conversation every time they spoke. That and there was something ugly hanging over their heads.

“You know he won’t be there if it’s his, Qamar. We talked about this.” She sucked on her teeth as her heart started to chip. Qamar was too nice to give her an even break. The way he minced his words and still looked out only allowed for small piece of her heart to break when he reminded her of the ugly truth.

“We talked about it but it is still very much some real ass shit that could change at any given time. My people don’t even know and as far as I’m concerned, they won’t. Because of that, I can’t see us being more than what we are… more than what we were.”

His brows dipped when he heard her sniffle.

“Okay, I won’t bother you anymore,” she spoke through tiny abrupt intakes of breath. “I just?—”

“Stop doing that shit, Janay!” Qamar fussed, annoyed with her antics. “I ain’t did wrong by you so don’t try to make it seem that way. Ain’t you well taken care of? Don’t she got everything she need and she ain’t even here yet? Like, come on, I’m doing my best.”

“She got everything but a father!” Janay hollered. Pregnancy hormones had her sad one second before fire was coming out of her mouth the next. “I’m here in Jade City preparing for the arrival of this baby and you’re still in Lynn Beach living your best life. But she got everything she needs,” she mocked him. “Nigga, she needs you.”

“She ain’t here yet!” Qamar based. “You want me! That’s all this shit is about. But I will tell you this, if you try to use my baby as a pawn, I promise you it will all blow up in your fuckin’ face.” He hung up on her, pissed that she was even able to get him out of his good mood.

His eyes closed as he rested his head on the entryway into his closet. Without hesitation, he dialed her back.

“What nigga?!” Janay answered angrily.

“Look, I’m sorry.”

“For what?” Leave it to her to not take accountability for the way the conversation went. In her mind, she was right, and he was wrong. It was something he foresaw being an issue when it came to their daughter.

Qamar massaged the temples of his head. “I ain’t sorry for what I said but how I said it. You the mother of my daughter. I can’t talk to you like that, so I’m sorry.”

Janay’s heart fluttered. “Okay. I’ll talk to you later.”

“Call me if you need me,” he said before hanging up for, hopefully the final time.

The back and forth with Janay put him behind schedule which meant he needed to break the speeding laws to get to the private airport. After he slipped his clothes on, he rushed out the door, hoping to still make it to his destination on time. Thoughts of Siasia and Noodle occupied his mind while he swerved in and out of traffic, listening to Devin Port. He rapped the lyrics while tapping out the beat on the steering wheel with his fingers.

He eased his car into a parking space just as his baby girl walked down the airplane’s step. Lynn Beach was bright and beautiful on that day like the sun knew it needed to shine brighter for his baby girl. He pushed the door open to go meet her.

“Daddy!” Esmeray yelled, her little legs taking off towards him.

Her mother, Malaysia, yelled out, “Stop running!”

“She good.” Qamar laughed, bending down to catch his little lady. “I missed you, Es.”

“Then, why you ain’t come home?” her little self sassed. She was a pure firecracker.

“You know I got school and stuff, Es,” he tried to reason with his four-year-old mother. “But you here now.”

“Mhm.” Esmeray pursed her lips. “What you gonna take me to?” she asked, still in his arms, letting him know she wanted to be picked up.

Malaysia made her way to them with a man following to load their luggage in the car. “Hey, baby daddy,” she jested with him giving him a side hug. “Janay had that baby?”

“Like you care.” He huffed.

“I do. She gone be Es’s little sister. You know I ain’t on that bullshit she try to be on.”

It was true. Malaysia was over the phase of being a bitter baby mama. She loved Qamar. Always would but their relationship was strictly platonic. It was hard for people to believe because he was fine, and she was attractive. To the outside world they had to still double back every now and then. That was the furthest from the truth. She wished him the best and he did the same for her. He would always take care of her though.

Not wanting to entertain negative conversations about Janay, Qamar changed the subject. “Y’all hungry?”

“Yes!” Esmeray bounced in his arms.

“If she said yes, it don’t even matter what I say. Let’s go.” Malaysia rolled her head. “I see you in the truck today,” she commented on him ditching his Corvette.

“Shit all this stuff y’all be bringing won’t fit in my baby. Why Es got two bags like she ain’t got clothes here?” he asked Malysia.

She waved him off. “You know how she is and I ain’t bout to be arguing with no damn four-year-old.”

“But you letting her run the plays? Yea, okay.” He looked her upside her head.

The three of them got into the car with one place on their mind. Lynn Beach was known for the many Black-owned eateries placed throughout the city. There was one place in particular that Esmeray loved more than any place on earth. Kids Eat Free was her favorite restaurant. She claimed their tenders were the best in the world and to top it off, they had gourmet deserts and a bougie indoor playground.

Neither of her parents asked where she wanted to eat because they both knew. Qamar felt she liked visiting him more for Kids Eat Free than it was to see her own daddy.

At the restaurant, they got out the car looking like the picture-perfect family. Malaysia’s complexion was deep in color and had been passed down to her baby girl. She was on the taller side standing at five feet, seven inches and she was slim. She could easily be a model with her height and exotic features. Her beauty was what stood out when he laid eyes on her in high school. Qamar could still admit she was stunning, he just didn’t see her like that anymore. He would love her forever though.

“Welcome to Kids Eat Free. How many in your party?” The hostess at the hot pink check-in desk smiled.

“Three,” Esmeray held up her three fingers.

The woman’s smile grew at the cutie pie calling all the shots. “Okay. You want a table or booth?”

“A booth.” Esmeray’s long lashes fluttered. A feature she’d gotten from her daddy.

“Follow me.” She grabbed their menus and headed to the requested section.

Their booths were closer to the indoor playground that mimicked outdoors. There was grass and dirt along with artificial wind surrounded by glass so the natural sunlight could shine in. At night it was even more magical. It was very family friendly but elegant enough to serve as a cute date night for adults.

“Can I go play?” Esmeray asked with her hands in prayer.

Qamar looked at Malaysia before looking back at his baby girl. “Yes, but when you see your food at the table you need to bring yo’ ass back to eat.”

“Okay,” she barely got out before she was off to meet temporary friends.

Malaysia placed her hands on the table. “So, what’s been up with you?”

“Same shit, different day. Let me ask you something.”

“Oh lord,” she faked worried.

Qamar laughed, seeing where his baby got her dramatics from. “Real shit. When you had Esmeray, did you think we were going to be together? Like, was that the only future you saw for us at the time?”

Malaysia wasn’t expecting that question. It threw her off so much that she adjusted her sitting posture while her mind played out every detail from when they were sixteen.

“You come from a two-parent household so was that what you saw for us? Was it something you knew your pops would be disappointed about?” he ranted, talking a mile a minute.

“Damn, slow down.” She used her hand like a stop sign. “First, why you asking me this?”

His face scrunched. “I ain’t trying to get back with you if you thinking that.”

Malaysia’s body relaxed. “I was about to say… thank God. Let me guess, Janay?”

“Hell yea. She pressing me about giving her a chance and shit but my heart ain’t in it at all. Never has been.”

“That’s the difference between her and me. We…” She pointed between the two of them. “We were in a relationship, so of course I thought we were going to ride off into the sunset. You and Janay were new… just getting to know each other while fucking. My experiences and expectations weren’t the same.”

“But when did you know we wasn’t going to be a family?”

“That’s the thing, Qamar, we are very much a family. I love you so much. I’ll give my life for yours because we are family. We just ain’t in a romantic relationship and I like it this way.” Malaysia sighed. “Your biggest opp is that big ass heart you carrying around. Janay knows it and will use that shit against you.”

“You really ain’t feeling her, huh?”

“It’s not that. I just see shit and know what you need.”

Stretching his arms across the back of his side of the booth, he kissed his teeth. “What I need, baby mama?”

“A bitch that’s familiar to the Qamar from The Jig. Not a privileged bitch like me and Janay.” Malaysia laughed, showing off the one dimple in her left cheek.

“You think you know me?” He smirked.

“Sometimes better than you know yourself.”

They fell into a content silence, happy about where their relationship stood. As teen parents so much had been against them. Years of childish antics almost broke them but with the family they both had, they made it through better than ever. Both of them had so much love for the other that happiness with other people was all they wished for each other. Happy parents created a happy kid.

“Look at her like you’re excited she’s having your baby,” Siasia directed while squatting low to get the shot from different angles. Sand crawled between her toes as she used them to keep her body steady.

“He better fuckin’ be happy I’m carrying his big-headed ass baby,” her client, Chat, fussed. She was big, hot, and annoyed. The sun was high and bright, heating their bodies regardless of it technically still being winter.

Snickering, Siasia got a few shots in before she fully extended her body to stand.

Doing what she loved always put her in a good mood. The last few days had been pure bliss and worry free. Her bills were paid, she had a phone where clients could get in touch with her, and Noodle was happier than ever. When money wasn’t an issue, Stacy kept his hands to himself and that kept her relaxed, not having to worry so much about her mama.

“Girl, it's hot as hell out here.” Ally grimaced, wiping the sweat from her forehead. She was Siasia’s unofficial assistant for the day and had she known all the stuff she’d be doing, she would’ve declined.

“It’s a beautiful day but I should’ve picked a cloudier one,” Chat said, wobbling with her husband holding her back.

“Tried to tell you,” he said, cutting his eyes at her.

Chat swatted at him. “Boy please. My pictures are going to be bomb. Ain’t that right, Siasia?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Siasia smiled.

“I mean they better be with how musty I am,” Ally commented, kicking her feet and hoping to get some of the sand out of her shoes. “And you picked the beach of all places.”

“Lynn Beach is a beach, Ally.” Siasia shook her head at her prissy friend.

“And I love the beach.” Chat cheesed. “But it is hot so let us get out of here. I need to blast the AC in the car.”

They all laughed, watching her struggle to waddle through the thick sand. She was full of baby and cute as ever. She and her man both.

“So, what you bout to do now? You working tonight?” Ally asked, trekking behind Siasia with all the extra lens and lights. Everything felt heavier leaving than it did coming. Probably because they were hot and tired. Working under the sun was a high dosage of melatonin.

“To do photos, yea.” Siasia shrugged.

Ally sucked her teeth. “I can’t believe you let that man tell you how to make your money. That ain’t the SiSi I know.”

“It ain’t like I liked the shit anyway.”

“That’s beside the point. You don’t know him, and he’s already telling you what you can and can’t do. It ain’t like he’s going to wife you up.”

The comments stopped Siasia dead in her tracks. “The fuck that supposed to mean?”

“Come on, Siasia. This ain’t no damn Pretty Woman Black edition. He is the golden child of public figure, Black family probably worth a billion dollars collectively. Do you honestly think he’s going to choose you when this shit is over? Y’all just at the starting line. When he gets closer to the finish line will he be carrying you over it with him?” Ally had so much conviction in her words that they conveyed with her eyes.

“He invited me and Noodle to come to his practice tomorrow,” Siasia spoke with just as much confidence.

With haste, Ally pushed her phone into Siasia’s face. “Meanwhile he’s out with his first baby mama and their kid looking like a happy family. Have you talked to him today?”

“You follow him?” Siasia asked, appalled that her friend seemed to be spying on the boy she liked. The first boy that she actually liked and wanted to really get to know; her friend was spying on him and plotting his demise.